Saturday, Nov. 28, 1P25
»rr .
DINNER STORIES
Tlllse Bin batons Barbers.
“What’s all the racket in the barber
shop ?”
"One of the barbers is shaving him
self ami trying to. talk himself into a
massage."
Barber—You say you have - been
Here before? J don't seem to remem
ber your face. ■ ■ .
Victim —Probably not. It's alt heal
ed up nov,-.
b f i -i -n.HUU
•Are yon the ..ho cut my hair
last time?*’
"I couldn't be sir, I've’ only been
here a year.''
1 Customer —I want a shave. Can you
manage It?
Mew Barbery-Well, I'm willing tOj
make a stab at it.
WlCey—Why do policemen swing
then ujium round and round like
windmill,- I wonder?
Hubby—l suppose they want to
show they can manage a rotary club." j
"Papa, what makes a man always I
give a woman a diamond engagement
ring?" .
rThe woman." -|
■'TOlsie—Did you hear what Mrs.
Simmers Raid about you?
Alice —Xo, I was in the other group
talking about her.
Farmer's! wife—When we sell our
cattle for a high price just think what
a. lot cf money our daughter will
have! . ,
Neighbor—Yes, and when the price
of wheat doubles, just think what a
fortune my son will have!
She—Haven’t I seen you somewhere
elge? •
He—Perhaps: I've been several oth
er places. 1 *
AD. JOKES.
Mew York Mirror.
Wanted—Dressmaker requires a
young woman assistant. M'ust bo able
to cut up and seam straight. '
For Sale—Old fashioned bed quilts
by lady homemade of plain patterns
an>' rv>t ora-v
Found—Gold Bracelet with Mrs.
Smith on it.
If you want to have a fit wear
Jones's shoes. .
Wanted —Saleslady in corsets and '
underwear. ,
■Wanted—Home for pet niredale
kind and gentle, will eat off your
hand. /
Wanted—Men to whitewash nights.
Adv.—Customers sending fin their
orders will be promptly executed.
J'or Sale—Kittens by lady all black
wWJi white nose.
Wanted—Boy Jo wash windows
with working ftipefk.
Wanted —Boy to run up and down
the curtain in large theatre.
For sale—Horse, cow. and duck
'eggs.
Adv.. —Widow wants to borrow SSOO.
Good security, three children.
■Wanted —Boarders, young men tak
en in and done for.
For Hire—Sedan, ride in safety,
passengers insured for christenings,
weddings and funerals.
“Xok, gentlemen!" shouted the auc
tioneer. ns he held up a suspiciously
yellow “gold" watch, “what offers for
this—this beautiful chronometer?
Guaranteed sound and—er—warrant
ed to keep good time—er—hnd—
Even he couldi't think of things to
say about the watch he was trying to
sell.
"Please may I bid?” called a mod
est man front the back of the room.
"Certainly!" replied the auctioneer,
delighteodly.
All eyes turned quickly to the spot
where stood the auctioneer’s innoceent
Victim.
"Well, then," said the young man,
calmly, "I'll bid you—good-night."
Girls attending government schools
in China are forbidden to wear short
skirts.
Campus Gut
Pi it to the collegian* to think o<
hlng new! At the University
egon. Eugene, Ore., the girla
taring sweaters with gay scenes
si on the hack. This co-ed
alns that the scene on the heck
rs represents the spirit: of th*
campus. ' I
•♦************♦
* AGRICDLTITRAL COLUMN $
* *
iff (Conducted by B. D. Goodman) *
£ Iff
******** * * * * * ♦
I-Mt Chance For Cleaning Henhouse.
\\ inter weather will be "here before
one :s ready for it. Heveral things
> ought to bo done before wintdr comes.
Among the many, there is probably
none more airgent than giving the hen-
heuse a thorough cleansing.
In cleaning the N henhouse it* is a
good idea to remove everything that
is movable. Then a good disinfectant
should be applied. Old crank case
oil with a fen per cent, mixture of
kerosene will bring satisfactory ro
suits. This may be applied with a
j spray. If you do not have a spray,
use a brush and apply the mixture ns
you would whitewash. Be sure to
do the job thoroughly as all cracks
j should be reached.
I After painting the inside of the hor.-
honse give the fixtures a coat of the
crank-case kerosene mixture. Do this
in the morning and by evening it will
I be soaked in well enough to permit
the poultry to return to -their Clean
j homo.
| While you have the fixtures out, a
h g supply of litter might be easily
j and profitably supplied. Mites and a
j la A of good litter is one of the chief
causes tit the failure of birds to lay
in late fall and early winter.—Harrv
Q. Holt, Ind.
Feeding Milk to Hens.
Is it possible to feed more milk to
chickens thhn is good for them?—
E. C. ~F., Ohio.
If the hens have been raised from ]
the beginning with milk before them,]
there is really little or no danger j
of >ver getting tqo much milk before]
the hens. We have kept skiminilk be- ]
fr.re hens at all times, giving uo water
at all. with no harmful results. On '■
the other hand, if unlimited quanti
ties of milk ure praoed before liens not I
accustomed to having it. looseness of
the bowels might occur. Feeding on- 1
ly in the forenoon is the safe prac
tieo with many flocks.
Jones met his old frieend Smith,
who had been out of a job for months,
and the' following conversation took
place:
“Well," said Jones, “how's,things?
Any brighter?"
“Brighter!" repeated Smith. “Why
things are so bad at heme that the
mice are giving themselves up to the
eat."
Dr. Johnson learned Low Dutch
at seventy-cue. and James Watt
learned German at seventy-five.
havcymi tried\
NO NOX I
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knocks disappear as if by magic—isn’t
“®“™your car performing a hundred percent
better? If you have not done so, get busy—you \yill
be amazed and delighted.
NO-NOX Motor Fuel is guaranteed to be Non-
Noxious, Non-Poisonous, and no more harm
* ful to man or motor than ordinary gasoline.
N O-NOX is priced on ly three cen ts
. per gallon higher than That Good
Gulf Gasoline.
Try it out today at any Gulf Station. /
GULF • [
REFINING COMPANY / /jWMr ■
9 1
at the sign ofthe orange disc J
. I KILLED HIK ADVERSARY
GIVEN PRISON TERM
; Slayer In Radio Street Fight to
Serve Between 10 and If. Years.
; i Albemarle, Mov. 27. —J. L. Gregory
. ( pleaded guilty to manslaughter, in
court this morning through his coun
' j sel. Brown and Sikes in connection
with the killing of S* W. Smith on
1 the stri'ets of Bndin on Thursday
■ nierning a week-ago, , The p'en was
accepted by file State, and after the
' court had heard the main part of the
evidence, sentence was passed cn tlreg
-1 ory to the effect that he serve a term
of not less than ten, nor- more than
fifteen years at hard labor in the'
] State prison.
From the evidence produced in the
hearing this morning, it seems that
the two men met on the streets and
after brief dispute one of poem passed
; the lie, whereupon Gregory drew his
1 ; pistol and shot Smith. Smith then
: turned and started to run. and when
! about twenty feet or more away wao
shot a second time by.Gregory. He
i ran a few steps further and fell where
• 1 he died almost instantly.
Weekly Cottan Review.
Meal York. Mov. 27.-—The advance
which followed the publication of the
government crop report placing the
• indicated yield at 15,21)8,000 bales as
of November 14th. carried the price [
of January contracts dp from 10.15:
on Saturday" to 20.41! for that posi
tion on last Monday.
The advance was checked at tliese
; figures as the demand from recent
| sellers appeared to have been pretty
j well supplied while fresh buying for
i long account appacred to be restrict
i ed by uncertainty ns to the extent
j and effect of the first December no-1
! .-rad the approach of the Thanks-j
■ giving day adjournment. Naturally
] some realizing developed when the
demand tapered off and 'while the]
.first December notices were taken at]
i a "premium of about (Ml points over]
| January, prices have eased off again i
|to approximately the 20-cent level. ]
j The market's response to the gov-!
j eminent report of last Saturday was j
evidently due chiefly to the Covering]
whirii suggested that previous sellers i
had been looking for a fully sustained ]
or increased estimate of the yield as !
compared with the November lst*lig- 1
ure. The decrease of about 8>G)00
bnles in the forecast, ns of November I
15th. compared with the previous re-!
port was not large enough in itself to j
create much sentiment in the opinion I
of local brokers but the fact that there I
was a decrease combined with rela
tively light ginning returns and re
ports Hint there was still consider
able cotton in the fields on November
14th in a position to be damaged by
THE CONQORD
—< —— _. ~,
west her appeared to raise apprehen
sions of a further xcnling down in
such figures. More recently improved
weather conditions in the south have
been considered rather reassmerin'g in ]
this respect and toward the end of'
this week traders seemed a little more j
doubtful river cxporl prospects owing 1
to smaller clearances than last year:
and the reports c.f unsettled condition < I
in France.
Two more' foreign trade estimates
cf the world's probable consumption
of American cotton for fie season
have been published during the past
few days, one of them placing il at j
14.475.000 bales-, while the other nadc .
wit 14.:iOO.OOO with a possibility of 14,-
500.000 excluding Itntrra. The lat
ter of these two estimates allowed for
a consumption of 0,:{50.000 hales of
American cotton in this country.
The News That Pays. * ]
Manufacturer!; Record.
"Florida." said- Colonel Felker. “is
simply another tribute to advertising
—the use of advertising wisely and
unstintedly."
"More industrial news I believe is
carried by the press of Florida than
h.v'the newspapers of any other state]
a! lift- present time. This is one of
the reasons behind .he present boom, j
“Florida editors consider develop-,!
moot news news. While news- -
I topers in ciher sections were■ playing]
lup crime, divorce and scandal, we
were giving promiuent display to
I stories of new Ijuildings and business
' progress. Industrial news is wlut
Florida editors instructed their re
porters to get first. Stories about
some new bridge, new school nr col
lege, or new office building, are eon
: side red the best and biggest new-s of
j each day. A paving project is given
i more play than a mill plot by the
press of Florida. And we do not
suppress crimp news, either. We
[simply put. it in what we f-.npidcr,its
! right place. In other wor(l,4.wd Ixji
lieve destructive news, is secondary to
! constructive news! As a result of
'this editorial program, tile newspapers
] ’.lave built up a community spirit, a
i solidarity that has bortn tonic to the
j state and has helped itv growth onor-
I piously.
] "In Florida for many years I A
I newspapers have been teaching their
' leaders to like their home towns.
1 What we printed was not just Polly-,
j ana talk, either. Industrial progress
[ sliced ed up under this press treat
j ment.” •
How the Oyster Eats.
j - The bureau of fisheries recently
undertook to find out why an oyster
gets fat—if lie does. It was found?
that an oyster will consume some
where between one and three pints
DAILY TRIBUNE
“Just Married” —in 1925 sss
Hp 1 ” -
|'mnv t Lavender and Genevieve Hendricks staged a colonial wedding a.
4* m out centennial celebration at Bedford, Ind. The crowd though
~ It was only in gun but later leariffid It wag a real marriage ■
of waler an hour, provided the
water is the right temperature—
neither very warm nor very cold.
Sclent i lira Ily speaking, the oyster
doers i ,t exactly drink Ibis water.
It pus-rs through the creature's sim
ple ky-ieni by "a ciliary motion of
the gill epithelium.’' whatever that
may mean. All microscopic animals
and plants in the water are thus
strained out and used as food by the
oyster.
Predicting Weather by Wells.
Ranchers living ni tne desert
regions of central Oregon claim that
they can predict the weather by ob
serving the action ofartesian wells
which abound in that section. 'Che
well, say the ranchers, serve as
barometers by "blowing off’ when a
storth is approaching. Engineers be
litre flint there may he Mime Jnith
in the notioi. nf the ranchers. The
phenomenon is probably tine 10 at
mospheric pressure.. When the atmos
pheric pressure decreases in the
i e.it ion around the wells the higher
' pressure atmosphere within is die
charged until it is equal to that
above the ground.
A riverside village boasted a post
on which was marked a line showim
the lfe'ght to which the river had ris
en during the time of a serious fioot
“Do you mean to say that the five
readied this height five years ago?
asked an astonished visitor.
"Mot exactly, sir, ’ replied the vil
lager. “but the children were so fond
of rabbin out the first mark that the
Council had to put it a bit higher so
.as to be out of their reach.’’
1 . . 11 ; . i . 1 v 1 . . « 11 111 ■■
1 \ a mr/(w-wM£
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PAGE THREE