Friday, April 16, 1926 Dinner Stories 11 —**■■■ ■ • **«» ; \ A customer went iiito a rstore ard jked up an article, walked out with and told the clerk to charge it. NOn what account?” called the »rk “On account, of noL having any >ney with me.” * Heupeck—l'd like to .«ee my wife I to tin* polls to vote. Friend—Are you so much opposed j suffrage?” k “lt isn’t that. ;but T*d like to en- i w hearing her <*allc?K down good . id hard for not knowing how to Id her ballot.” I i Bhe said very solemnly. ‘‘l cannot krry you because I do not love yon. ■t I will be your sister.” r’Oood," he answered, with a rump hunt smile; “and how much I you think our father will leave I when he dies?” Ifehe —Oh. that bull is coining right ■yard us! What shall we do? j He—Don't stand there doing ' [thing: come and help me climb n tree. ■he maid was leaving, and her ■tress said to her: ‘‘Mary. I ■lid like to give you a good refer- I Bjr. but my conscience compels me | ■state that you never got the ■ls ready at the proper time. ■?, I wonder how I can put it in ■ice way?" ■Well, ma’am,", retorted the girl, ■ji can say I got the meals the Be as I got my pay.” ■on—Mother, who put that statue ■hr the kitchen sink? plother—S**h, sonny, don’t mhke K- noise! ,That* the plumber. fColonel Corkright—Mnjub Kludsoe I an excellent judge of liquor, isn’t L suh? sColonel Gore—Yes. snli! The pijuh’s not only a good judge of i but also a mereifes** executioner. “My boss says he can’t come after II.” said the pluinber's boy. “Blit P it was a hurry-up call, he esent 1 never sent for anyone," 9Hd the mi.stre«s of the house, rather puzzled. then." the boy concluded, “it inust have been the folks as was Sphere before you moved in." Protect Your Property and Your Money 9mm 'V7'OUR house, when painted with I) * Marietta House Paints, is practi ' gs I caily (guaranteed against the ravages of p fou> weather by the Marietta Service Certificate. No other paint manufac- L 1 —turer offcr&- you such a certificate. Ash “ 30Ut 11 today. Concord Paint& Paper CcLipany 342 N. Church Street „ Phone 18L MAIUKTTA PAINT "service STATION EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO If AS 1 egpOAlMfep T6 1 Vou AT tvRiT, T m a Two-tuA't socket that has a liNe/Vr NeiT THoSG MU ■xxtjperhaps Youf-vwc ■— - ——— ■ TYPe.s * Tnese. HiiCtfuCTPisece-CT from. Look m ~ J . r nil, I—BM—WJJLJ.-JX-Jeg* I?JS&V-~- IE3 RK2-MlUlPp —.SIISIS HtolOQtC;- §M fes|j |ax XtjGHH 1 . STRANGER DIES UNDER ODD CIRCUMSTANCES ! His One-legged Buddy 6e6> Him in Hospital and Then Disappears. Charlotte, April John MeTlick, 40; .brought to the city by n one-legged companion Tuesday night, died soon afterward* and his body lay today in a local j funeral parlor, the finish of an un- • known soldier’s career of mystery • and pathos. I A *trango young man. excited, speaking the lingo of the ribe track. ', j suddenly appeared before a group of i workers in the" courthouse Tuesday ‘ night. | “I gotta guy in my car outside ; He’s a good guy, but I think he’s ! gonna creak,” he said earnestly. I The workers quickly arranged for the jgiek man’s entrance into the hos pital. where he died Wednesday } morning. i His last word* were: “Where’s my buddy? I want to tell him some thing." But the picturesque young eripp e ! had disappeared as suddenly as he •came, and had not been located j Wednesday afternoon. ■ American Legion officials are try ing to assemble facts which would j enable them to return the body to ’ the family. Place Marker on Site of the First Court. ! Charlotte, April 15.—Unveiling ceremonies for the tablet, nut ruing the site of the first court evep held in Mecklenburg County, were he’d j Thursday under the auspices of the Colonial Dames, wnich society erect ed tIW marker. j The inscription on the' tablet | reads: “Site of first court in Mecklen burg County February 2(1. 1783. “Home of Thomas Spratt. first white settler to erodh the Yadkin liiver. with wheels. “Here was born his daughter, Anne Spratt. first white child born between the Catawba and Yadkin rivers. “Erected by the National Society of Colonial Dames of America in North Carolina, 1T)2«." Cook, in play on the stage, to her mistress—l give you notice on the spot; I’m going to leave at the end of my week. Lady in audience, excitedly—ln that case you can come to work for me. I’d give you sls a week and al > low you two afternoons and four evenings a week out. Sxewarf|Js ■WASHIKOTON-^fS LETTERS BY CHARLES P. STEWART NEA Service Writer Washington, April 15.—Determined ns it was, the effort made, earlier in this session of Congress, to head off any more, senatorial investigations during the coming summer failed to accomplish much. The “h usher” didn't work as “hushers” should. Perhaps there won’t be quite as many investigation* this time as there were during the epidemic of them in the last Congress, but such as there are promise' to be first-class. To begin with, prohibition! This pending investigation was scheduled to be limited to two week* but it won't be surprising if it stretches. The investigation into the tariff commission probably will string along all sun mer. The contention is that this was a highly meritorious commission but somebody hamstrung it, s 6 now it’s no good. That—if it happened—was wrong. Well, who did it? If he hopelessly crippled a useful commis sion he ought to be called to ac count. His, adverse critics says the, presi dent did it. Really it’s an ifivestiga tion of him. Investigating the presi dent if “going some.” * * * Finally, there’s the impeachment case against Federal Judge George W. English, of the eastern district of Illinois! Strictly speaking, this isn't an in vestigation, but a trial. In effect it’s an investigation of Judge English, however, with the judge’s removal as its sequel, if the Senate finds him guilty. * * * The senators, generally speaking aren't any too well pleased at being tied up in Washington with investi gation* and impeachment proceedings ► just as the congressional elections are coming on. x How Britain Does it. Jacksonville Times-lTnion. The fear of the law is the respect tlrat is keeping down the tide of crime in Great Britain. It is not credited to any sentimental cam paign—or any great preponderance of virtue on the* side of the' average human being. What this country heeds is n lot of jurymen and judges with the de termination to put murderers away from the society which they disgrace. The multitudinous and never-ending technicalities by the lawyers cheat the gal low* of their due need to be lopped off- The pence officers of the United States should be brought back from chasing after wiU-o’jthe wisps to a rounding up,of men and women who slay and roh-and burn and maltn at their felluws,, Tin* thug with a weapon—especial ly tile coward’s pet protector, a MR.<*UNN AT OLSA tS AUJAV AWO 1 E(OOU&HTO^O'Tit& mamch&stsr Morec //glcrv eel SoMeowe ioillhaus ) hoosevmokk -Tke j Bed with )( v;e ooswr ro ) To sw hers wo ( doctor said i y ... ..... ..I ...£/ s^ Xo EKE.RT YOORSEUF ' IHi ToLD , r Sv r ' 1 -I?r,^ OC ( CrtAßLersroM . ftCl U/Ls •BESIDES -Sty YJIU- riAVE —IhM ? ikfW j • V.CJTS OF Time to TriiNio asoot —nemn v 1 - .*4 •♦#.#.'l,* I Don’t Be Misled, Look and see that M on get the yellow checkered Bag SB and then you will know that you |B have got the original Startina to |B feed your baby chix on. Cash Feed Store PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH l FANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR^ OOOOOaOOi I DELCO LIGHT t Light Plants and Batteries . >| Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter- ij 0000000£Xl<»0O£^t»0fl«30»300C0CS00000Ci3C00t BATTERIES j Big Price Reduction on Batteries for Fords and is Chevrolets 3 PREST-O-LITE $15.50 & COLUMBIA $11.95 § Compare These Prices. 3 id REPLACEMENT FOR ALL CARS 1 PHONE 228 i (Studebaker Sales and Service) Auto Supply & Repair Co. CLEAN, PURE, COLD AIR Get More Than Your Money’s Worth Many Gurney u.-ers say they arc jjjpyAiiigS'iii.A Xqggfc getting more than their money's worth pf , t"‘' •{ from this long-lasting refrigerator. jgl _ ,;">i Some Gurneys have been in use 25 to ||[ I* 30 years. Tltcy're built to last: also to jsf j ’ preserve food perfectly with a mini- j§|lij“™j| Aln j v ' mum of ice. And you’ll be surprised IjL \ * at the reasonable prices. We carry a wide range of sizes. Come in and see *? them. V A H. B. WILKINSON l Out of the High Kent District, Where Parking Sp:iee Is Plentiful .? and time unlimited. Concord Kannapolis, Mooresville China Grove At v Hot Water-.} This gas hot water heater P, ' .jgl j a friend indeed of every cook Ij! " A 'l. __ match and in a few minutes ![ jP steaming hot water will run fill iflljnj | from the faucet—enough sot It' 1 JBHnjt H the dishes, for a bath, etc. 1A dMEissitesfc: Let us install one for you. Pays for itself quickly. E.B. GRADY PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER Otfice and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W | THE DAILY TRIBUNE | I! THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER j BOTH ONE TEAR AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES: 111 State outside Concord $5.25 || The Progressive Farmer is the best farm paper published, and its I 111 price is SI.OO a year. jl You need not pay fi>r the Progressive Farmer at the same time you n ; h pay for The Tribune. We will get it for you a whole year at auy time fl if* on payment of only'2s cents. jijj P a . v your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, but m Ip come to The Tribune office to. pay for your Progressive Farmer. PAGE SEVEN