Wednesday, May 12, 1926 Dinner Stories .1 Young Prtender. Mother—Eat up your, nee, dear. I Little Ji)t>—l (ion't like rice. i Mother—Well, pretend you like it. 1 Little Joe —Xo; I’ll pretend I’m eating it. Good Reason. Rornice—Who does she run around' with that fellow? He's a bad egg. Mildred—That’s the reason she's afraid to drop him. Somewhat Mixed. “Say, Bill, I was held up by the j coffic trap today.” “The what?" “The trappic coif—the euffic trot) — the tropic cap—the o fa, you know what I mean!” I ara very sorry that I shall not be able to come to your wife’s funeral. That’s all right; some other time will do. The old Man—Do you think young fellow, tlint you could - give my daugh ter all she asks for? Youth—l think so. sir. She says she only wants me. ' Bjones—My wife's been trying to! reduce, and is having a very hard time. Rev. Smith—Tell her to have faith, fltancinbcr faith will remove motm iJtins. Bjones—Y'ou may have seen moun tains, but you’ve never seen my wife. Uptown : "They say that paper’s a fine thing to keep you warm during, the winter." Downtown: “Especially if it's ini j (lie form of a note. One of them kept \ me in a sweat for thirty days." j Any Girl’s Choice. • "Will you go for a walk?' asked the Shirk. "Certainly not," replied the Sheba. | "I’d rattier ride part of the way, at; least.” Cause for Complaint. Mother: "Can't you two children stop quarreling?" Billy : "Well, mother. I wish you'd | speak to Teddy—he wants to bring! his caterpillar to bed with him." 1 Protect Your Property and Your Money bouse, when painted with * Marietta House Paints, is practi cally guaranteed against the ravages of foul weather by the Marietta Service Certificate. No other paint manufac | turer offers you suth a certificate. Ask about it today. Concord Paint & Paper Company 842 N. Church Street Phone i6L lIARirTTAPAINT | EVERETT TRUE BY COfrDO 4TneßG's not THe Lz# ST touqt in 'h~nr j If ' My t,i,._. . ... i ON6 MOMtSNT. o*= THeoßieS^l ■X?o ''dou 13CU eve A "Be-Coptes G ATS ° gRTAIMLV ~ PO ' THgN XOU ARE Cts-UOC A l Mt_V ' onion Embarrassing Moments New York Dally Mirror. ! Last week, while I thought my boss j hud left the office I called up a girl i friend of mine. I told her that in ease the boss should return I would hang up, and that I would see her the following night. Just then I heard a I voice say: "Well, you can hang up ■ right now." It was my boss's voice. I decided to vi*it my former employ- I er and asked a indy friend of mine to j accompany me. I greeted my boss cor | dially and turned to present my friend. I said: "Mr. , meet my friend, Miss , and to my embarrassment, found that she had not entered the of fice with me, but -wits standing out side talking to a girl she had acci dentally met. I told"my girl friend that I would not go to the bnll because she wasn’t going. It so happened that when the grand march came on, I was In the front line with my arm securely hold ing another pretty girl. You can im agine my embarrassment when a few days later my girl friend showed hie a picture which had been taked at the ball. ! “My wife gave me a two-tube set for my birthday.” “Kcgenerntive?” “Naive Shaving and tooth.” Country Cured Meats HAMS SOMSS SHOULDERS We always buy all the well cured, | nicely trimmed country cured meats that conies on the market. i Tlie lot wc havf now is just tlie flh- I cst yet. Sell you whole hams or , sliced ham. I The finest c.untry cured side to | slice just like you want it. It’s fine. I Talk about Western Bacon. We i have just the freshest, thickest, cheap j est and best at all times, i Many other good ttilings to oat. CLINE & MOOSE Phone 339 ! I\ S. Phone 339. We deliver 1 quick everywhere. * I{V eUAELES e. STEWART NBA Service Writer * * IK War for any purpose s'lall be IK IK illegal, and neither the United Ur IK states nor any stnte, territory, IK IK association or person subject to jK IK its jurisdiction shall prepare for, IK IK declare, engage in or carry on IK IK war or other armed conflict, eg- IK IK pedition, invasion or undertak- IK IK ing within or without the /United * IK States, nor shall any funds be IK IK raised, appropriated or expend- |K IK ed for such purpose. ' IK * IK * ************ Washington, May 11.—Senator , Lynn .1. Frazier, of North Dakota, who proposes a United States con stitutional lnendment against war, as set forth above may be set down safe ly as a radical. It isn’t necessarily radical to want to outlaw war. Itut for Qnc country, al] by itself, in this turbulent world, to disarm completely, forget what little it ever did know about the military art and prohibit itself from ever lifting a hand in anger again—well, if thnt isn’t a radieal suggestioiis, wliat is? "I suppose it does seem a little rad ical at first." agreed Senator Frazier, when I asked him if he didn't ednsid der it so. “However, we nil want to end wars —all except the profiteers. The League of Nations and the World Court don’t seem likely to accomplish it. I think this method will. Only, somebody must make a start. We’re as well situated to do it as any coun try, and better than most. "Onre we’ve tnken the Yirst step. I be'ieve the others will follow suit. Maybe the nations of continental Europe will have to Clave a general agreement first, but we can act in dependently and initiate the move ment.” BEAUTY. Beauty is true; Ugliness is but a phase Os life, it s transient. Beauty is permanent, In alt nature, in the soul. And heart of man, in all Living things, which flourish And progress. Ugliness Is but n shadow cast over The earth by pain—and discord. It .vanishes as a cloud before The siin wherever happiness Exists, for happiness is The very essence of beauty. —in l ~ " - /cCttfaM Service W. J. HETHCOX soooooooooooooooooodoooo I If It I« I N E W HAVE I IT g Millinery Dept, j MISS ALLIE LEGG, Prop. <|> Phone 830 occooooeooocoooocH’v*">r*v' fresh Rolls and Bread Too Hot to Bake. We have Fresh Finger Rolls arid Fresh Bread Dkily Cabarrus Cash Grocery Co. tHfi concord Daily rßisuNfi 0— T | —•■■■■ .ZTT -.L..—.A ' ' OUT OtTR WAY BY WILLIAMS '“*• r ~ . ' | , WikiN. /OO’vnonTmVmagitN /na-m - I SEE OURSELFS \ A ORFiL SOPPRrzE* WPA BE DIFFRnwT \ cokaim’ bach! i \ vnem i walk TiV -Tho" kwcwi he. EUERBOODY LLB& DOOR SHE’LL GrRAB GOES T 1 'CKrEfJI!' ' ! 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Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W , rro?wrgwWr : 1 THE DAILY TRIBUNE I jj AND B; THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER 1 BOTH ONE TEAR AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES: 1 In State outside Concord $5.25 ■ B || The Progressive Farmer is the' best farm paper published, and iU ■ j| price is SI.OO a year. I I nu need not pay for the Progressive Farmer at the same time you .B |u pay for The Tribune. We will get it for you a whole year at any time Bi H on payment of only 25 cents. H H Pay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, fctlt B g come 10 The Tribune office t