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HEEL
THE OFFICIAL ORGAN . OF THE UNIVERSITY ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION.
1.3.
UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA, CHAPEL HILL, N, C, FEBRUARY, 14, 1895.
No. 18.
Woman.
Since the very earliest times the
Question as to whether a woman was
,if on p remove irom an ang-ei or
he exact reverse has been one that
as agitated the minds of men and
nuch paper and ink used up in ar-
uing bothfsides of the question,
ind some nations have even gone so
Jar as to make proverbs on the sub
ject. There is an old one in several
languages which says, ' "Man, wo
jman and devil are the three degrees
i,f comparison." With so much
Weighty testimony on both sides, it
'would seem that there would be no
way of settling- the question unless
!we side with both parties, and say
that outwardly woman has the form
bf an angel, all but the ivmgs,
though she may have them too, only
on account of her way of dressing
they never get a chance to grow
enough to be seen, and inwardly
but it would not be polite to say
that would it.
Of course in these varied treatises
on woman's nature we find , several
accounts of their origin, some of
which don't even admit poor woman
to the privilege of a soul. That
one is of course too horrible to men-j
tion so we will pass over to t lie
brief consideration of two other ac
counts of the same occurrence, one
of which is found in some of the old
Rabbinical works, the other in a
book but little better known to the
vast majority of readers, namely,
the Bible. In the words of Moore,
the old Rabbinical acount is as fol
lows:
"For old Adam was fashioned, the first of
his kind,
With a tail like a monkey, full a yard and
also, the husband doinsr his best to
supply the water, though- then with
much grumbling about hard times.
After all that has been written
and said on the subject, 'woman has
continued to be an inexplicable mys
tery to man, who never knows wThat
she is going to do until she has done
something else, or what she didn't
mean until after she has spoken
The Germans, those deep thinkers
in every branch of knowledge, have
a proverb which savs, "There are
only two good women in the world
the one is dead, and the other not to
be found." But if one praises and
considers a moment, it can be readily
seen beyond the shadow of a doub
that all women are jrood, either
good for something or good for noth
inar, chiefly the latter, thougfh in
deed in her own estimation there is
nothing a woman can't do. For
merly there were two things a man
could do that a. woman generally
gave up in despair; but now that we
have female baseballists and women
in bloomers it must be admitted tha
; . H 1-4 i
man s ooastea monopoly m these
lines is a thiner numbered among-
those that have been but are no Ion
span;
And when nature cut off this appendage be
hind,
Why then woman was made of this tail of
the man."
Then he goes on to try to prove
this account of her origin to be the
correct one in these words:
"And if we may judge as fashions prevail,
Every husband remembers the original
plan;
And knowing his wife is no more than his
tail,
Why he leaves her behind him as much as
he can."
Of course we cannot accept this
! une-allant view of the matter as. the
true one, so will not give a more 'de
tailed account of it, for indeed we
have almost positive proof that wo
man was made from one of Adams
ribs, for do not we observe in the sex
today an almost inordinate love of
ribbon(e)s, not to be accounted for
under any other supposition?
Thus woman came into being and
was ordained a help-meet for man,
and she has continued to help meat
for him ever since, and frequently
she has to provide it and the bread
ger. .
There are a good many things too,
that women do beautifully that the
ruder man fails in, for she can paint
(her face) with the highest art, and
once a woman danced so beautifully
that a man's head came off on ac
count of it, and we never heard of
a man's doing such a thing; and she
can embroider most life-like green
flowers with red leaves, and she can
tend to babies and lots more things
that are, according to the formula
when one gets stuck for details, too
numerous to mention;
Her chief end and aim in life is to
flirt, which she has reduced to an
l : : iii
exact science, su indi sue uengnLS
in laying bare feelings which she
has aroused by her excellent acting
of a part wantonly cruel, and there
fore all the more pleasing to her.
Not that a woman will ever admit
that she flirts; oh no; but - when she
tells you she never flirts then is the
time to look out, for she is flirting
then. .
One of the most prominent . char
acteristics of woman is her ability
to keep a secret when she doesn't
know it. No woman yet everspoiled
anything by being silent. Quite a
valuble point of difference between
man and woman in this. A man is
frequently wrong and admits it, a
womati never; she' was only mis
taken.
A woman hates a question too,
but she loves to ask them, though
like Falstaff "if reasons were as j
plenty as blackberries" she will!
give
no man one, not she, except
"Because."
The sex is very affectionate and
every woman likes some woman
as well as she does herself and takes
as much joy in her beauty as in her
own, whom she is never tired of
watching, and seeking her beauties
in form and complexion, and of
whem she is never jealous this is
the Woman in the looking glass.
There is a proverb which says that
the cunning of the sex is equal to
their obstancjr, which is borne by
the little couplet which says:
"Where a woman will she will, and ,
You may depent on it
And when she wont she wont
And there's the end on 't."
But these are wrong views of the
case, for no woman is obstinate so
long as she ha's her own way.
Of course woman is always truth
ful and mean everything they say,
and it is much to be feared that'the
old Italian who said "He who takes
an eel by the tail and a woman at
her word may truly say that he
holds nothing," wras nothing but a
pessimist; because some woman had
given him the mitten, and, Italy
being a warm country, natually he
had no use for it, and so perhaps it
soured the milk of human - kindness
in his breast, and there was no sort
of truth in them, but we must ad
mit those things that are a little
slippery.
The most curious thing'about them
is the organ that they call the heart.
We often hear of a woman's heart'
breaking, so they must be of glass;
and this view of the case is borne
out by the fact that he who wishes
tve his name on a woman's
heart must use diamonds. Jwery-
thing that glitters to them is gold,
so that brass goes as far as the gen
uine metal. There seems to be a
total absence of curiosity in the sex,
too, which is another remarkable
thing. They have given this feel
ing another name and only call ita
desire to know things; but it seem
to serve them as badly as curiosity
would do and answers every pur
pose.
Bass Ball Notes
Condensed from Exchanges.
Princeton is makicg great prepa
ration for base-ball. Though tney
have lost King- and McKenzie there
plenty of good material to fill
their places. Reiter, who will play
second, is said to be King's equal
in fielding, and a hard hitter.
Trenchard will take McKenzie 's
place, so that with D.Ward and
Paine the outfield will be a fine one.
In the pitching department they
have Bradley, Altman, and Hitzrot.
Bradley is expected to outrank Car-
ter if he gets into condition. Capt.
Brooks will play at shortstopbut
may have to take Reiter 's place, at
second, in which case the younger
Ward will take short.
Yale has no professional coach
this year and the task of weeding
out the candidates this year de
volves on Capt. Rustin. AH but
two of last year's team are back.
Quinby, a sub last year, will prob
ably play at short field, and Fincke
of last year's Freshman team is a
promising candidate for third base.
Carter will be in the box with Tri
deau as "understudy." Greenway,
the old reliable, is counted on for
backstop, but his health may not
permit. If so, DeForest of last
year's Freshman team may be sub
stituted. Harvard has her old team back
and is on "Easy Street" as to pros
pects. Highlands, though very er
ratic, is still a wonderful pitcher,
and the only pitcher at Harvard at
all qualified to pitch for the 'Varsi
ty. Wiggins may be ruled out un
der the four year rule.
Georgetown is a combinatiou ' of
hard hitters and fine fielders with a
lack of team work. All the old men
are back except pitcher Dowd and
first baseman '"Cotter,""" 'who have
graduated.
Pennsylvania's chances for a win
ning team are brighter than usual.
All of last year's team with the ex
ception of Boswell are in college.
Their weakest point is in the box,
but Weyhing of the Philadelphias
ousfht to develope a srood pitcher
from the host of excellent candidates.
Gelbcrt seems to have the call
now.
Lehigh has all of last year's team
in college, with several new pitch
ers, each of whom already has a
g'ood record.
The, Library.
No doubt when the librarian
chained the chairs down to the floor
he had some good object in it that
does not make itself apparent to
the casual glance. And it is de
cidedly inconvenient, to say the
least, to go the library to do some
work and find all the chairs in the
neighborhood of the stoves occupied
and be compelled to take a seat in a
place where the thermometer refuses
to register the temperature at all.
It would seem to be a good move
either to loosen the chairs or have
the building better warmed, and it
would be well to do both. As it is
now the loafers occupy the comfort
able spots and the workers are gen
erally out in the cold.
H. M. Thompson will hereafter
be known as "Trilby."
f v
editors of the Tar Heel.
present. Raleigh Evening Visitor.
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