Newspapers / Daily Tar Heel (Chapel … / Sept. 23, 1916, edition 1 / Page 2
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THE TAR HEEL Official Organ of the Athletic Auociation of the Univeraity of North Carolina Published Weekly BOARD OP EDITORS 'WILLIAM T. POLK Ediior:ih-Chief CHAS. G. TEN.V12NT Managing Editor . ASSOCIATE EDITORS lf.-EAilt.E iiAKllIS ICDWIN S. HARTSHORN H. li. 1UITY . W. JI. STKl'HKNSON. C. L. SXIDKR E.'O. F1T7.S1MMONS " FRANK CUAUVOE C. EATON M. B. FOWLKIl........: Advertising Manager .C. S. HARRIS..:: . Cii-culation Manager ASSISTANT MANAGERS W. O.'I!t'ii0i:fiii K. E. PitlOK WATT Eaglb S. t IIlUWiN To be entered as second-class matter at the post office at Chapel Hill, N. C, Printed by The Seeman Prlntery, Inc., Durham, X. C. . . Subscription Price, $1.50 Per Year, Payable in Advance or During the First Term . Single Copies,. 5 Cents... ilC? '?.' INFANTILE FRESHNESS Just about this time every year the University has at ' least one case, and sometimes a whole epi demic," of that disease now known as Infantile Freshness. There are always two or three Freshmen who are supersaturated with saucihess, brass-plated. They have a superabundant amount of freshness, and, like negroes with religion, they are just bound to lei; folks know they have got it. And so bur deluded Freshman paints a big i920 on the water tank or does soine other imbecile stunt that is liable to' retard the evolu tion of the University four dr five years and carry us back to the Dark Ages of 1912, trie barbaric days of 1911. I Our University seems to be in i the path of evolution all right. In 1 the last five years the number of ft'udents has increased at least a third; the number of reels at Pick wick has increased three-fold ; Emerson Field has appeared ; and the auto lines have annihilated dis tance and our dollars. But nowbere have we made so great progress as in the extermi nation of hazing; Five years ago ink was a, black fluid made to be used, hot in fountain pens', but in slacking buckets, not on paper but on Freshmen; making a . Fresh man dance, sing, make love or how J s at the . moon to tlie tune of psrol shots, was an innocent di version; and ducking Him under icy pump water was all the rage, j Then, a Freshman was scared to stay in his room and scared to go out of it, scared to lock Lis door arid scared not to, always on the lookout for a blacking crowd and ever prepared to make a hasty exit to Battle's Park. Now, how the Freshan is treated with all kindness, courtesy and cinsideration. , The faculty the fraternities arid the Y. Al. C. A. vie with each other to please hiin. So it comes about that he is naturally insensible to his advan tages over those who were Fresh men before him. Thai he may re alize them more clearly we print the following, taken from "A Mediaeval Garner" and illustrat ing, with some exaggeration per haps, the way Freshman were treated in "the( good olde days." Berthold and Camillus are two upper-classmen. "Camillus (speaking to the Freshman) : Thou froward beast, where are my tooth pincers ? Hold out thy mouth! . . Berthold, here is one tooth, here now is the second. "Berthold. I will keep these to show at a fair as men do with sea monsters. "Camillus. . Bring a bowl of water and some odorous herbs for his beard. herbs grown ' at the spot where the sewer disgorges in to the garden. Hold thy chin still. The beard is soaked enough. Where now is my razor of stout oak-splinter ? ; . . ' . See, John, here now is thy beard, black as the beard of Judas. . "Berthold. 'He grows faint. "Camillus. Lol he is half-dead already: his knees bow under him." Truly, the old order changeth. Despite the fact that in a recent Isong hit, called "Don't Bite the Hand That's Feeding You," Un cle Sam is represented as saying threateningly to his immigrants, "But don't be ungrateful to me," in spite of this, we believe that gratitude, like affection, is not a thing to be wrested from a man, or ordered as if it were a pound of beef and your friend a butcher, i And so it would be preposterous to i expect a gentleman to feel grateful for being treated like a gentleman. He should expect no less. Bui, we repeat, every year it has hap pened that some super-freshman forgets, not only that he is being i treated like a gentleman, but he j also forgets that he is a gentle man. Saturated with the quintes' sence of freshness, he sauces the supercilious : Seniors, browbeats the complacent Juniors, and en rages the fire-eating Sophs. The best riiedicine for the pre vention of this annual epidemic of Infantile Freshness and its spread is, of course, a popular sentiment among the class of 1920 agiahst all manifestations of militant ver dancy. "The class of 1920, we believe, has this sentiment, this spirit. It has conducted itself in a gentle manly, orderly fashion ; and we do riot doubt that it will continue to do so- and thus wipe out all cases of Infantile Freshness. THREE DON'TS There are three things that our football : coaches, Campbell, Co wen and Kluttz, want us to re frain from, doing if we desire to get out a. winning team, s We often think, and say, how gladly we would do some work, be active in some way or make some sacrifice in order to niake our team the strongest possible. Now we are asked, not to do anv work or make any sacrifice, but simply to refrain from ' doing three tilings that it would inconvenience us to do: The three things which our coaches beg us to refrain from do ing are these: 1. Making unnecessary noise near the rooms of football players after ten o'clock, p. m. 2. Watching practice on Emer son Field before five o'clock, p. m. 3. Knocking , the team at. any place or at any time. It would be foolish to say anything concerning these first two "don'ts." ; Every body, even an old lady ; that can't tell a football from an ostrich egg, knows that to be in good physical condition a person must get plenty of. sleep, and that secretpractice is not a thing to be watched by the whole community. About "don't" number three we have only this to say. Whoever among us says harsh things about our team without being reasonably sure that his words will help it, is a knocker. Whoever is a knock er is as bad as a quitter. And who ever is a quitter is as sorry as a french poodle dog no, we take that back, but we would say it if we didn't think that it would be cruelty to dumb animals. The thing for us to do is to remember always that our team is our team, in, defeat as well as in victory, that it is the only team we have and the best we have. 5 ; "As a man thinks, so is he." As a student body thinks, so is its team. If we, the student body, get the right spirit, the winning spirit, it can't help being reflected in our team. If we keep alive an abiding faith in our team, if we come out of every defeat with a determination that we will do bet ter next time, if we come out of every victory with the fear that we shall not do as well ; then we shall have a team, confident, care ful, determined. And other things being anywhere near equal, that sort of a team will win. PHILOSOPHICAL CONSOLATION All hail to the reasoning faculty of man ! Did you ever flunk an exam? Yes ? Please pardon the reference to a painful topid, but if you ever havea thousand pardons ! made less than the fateful 70 per cent, and have felt despondent about it, then arise and sing, "Blessed be Logic." It offers to you a Panacea, a Balm of Gilhead, a Peruna. By its aid you can prove that wisdom called by some richer than rubies, is no better than dry bread. You do it just like this: "Nothing is better than wisdom; "Dry bread is better than nothing ; "Therefore dry bread is better than wisdom." Blessed be Logic! But suppose, in addition to lack ing wisdom, you haven't even got any dry bread.. Suppose your ticket to Swain Hall has run out and you haven't got any; money, not even enough to buy a fifth of an egg-sandwitch at Nick's ..or Red s. What are you going to do Borrow ? No. Starve ? Certain ly not. Eatwig is nothing but a luxury, a waste of time, money, the teeth and the jaw nerves. Don't eat; it's foolish to do anything wasteful like that. You may get a little hungry after the first day or so of fasting, but if you do just recite the following to yourself: "Who is most hungry eats most ; "WKo bats least it most hungry; "Therefore who eats least eats most." And it is perfectly obvious that ho who eats nothing eats least. Twice blessed be Logic ! ; But you may get into Other di fficulties. All you have to do is to push the bell arid call for Logic. One gets into difficulties so easily. For instance, in some idle arid con vivial moriient you may nave seen a cat crossing the road and you may have made the remark that the cat had two tales, or maybe three, according to the spiritual im agination of your eyesight at the time. And later suppose you are called before the authorities, who, not being able , to appreciate im agination, foully suspect you of having been inebriated. What are you going to do ? Must you lose your reputation for sobriety or for veracity ? No, indeed. Give them a tablespoonful of Logic. Tell them this: "For the sake of argument I'll admit that I do lie. But if I say that I lie, and say so truly, then I do lie; but if I say so falsely, then I speak the truth." And if they can't accept that, then it is up to you to prove that the cat did have three tails; thus: "No cat has two tails; "Every cat has one more tail than no cat; "Therefore every cat has three tails." Thrice blessed be Logic ! If you are enough of a logician you can get out of any kind of a scrape. Logic will carry you any where ; it rushes in where Fords would fear to tread. And after it rushes you in it will pull you out again, just like a Ford, if you give it gas enough. Trust to Logic, fche'll carry you through, as a rule. But "There is no rale without excep tions; This statement is itself a rule; Therefore this statement has ex ceptions' ; That is, there are rules without exceptions." ! There are lots of other good ones I in Dr. Noah Iv. Davis's Theory of Thought; but I will stop here to avoid being mobbed. Wby have I wasted a column of your good paper with this stuff? What is the moral of it? What does it all prove ? Well, I don't kiun I shouldn't - be at all sur prised . if it proved that two is twenty, or that a chair is a house and lot, or that a negro with a chill is a chocolate shake, in fact al most anything. Arid then again it may prove that you can prove anything you want to. Anv way, blessed be Logic ! .. Lives of great men all remind us We could make our lives sublime, If we only had the money, Sense enough and lots of time. Josh Billings University Directory CALENDAR 1916 October 12 Thursday University Day November 3(WThiusclay....ThankHglvlng Day December 22 Friday i Christmas Recess begins OFFICERS OF ADMINISTRATION OF THE 1.NIVKRS1TT Edward Kidder Graham, A.M., D.C.L., LL.D. Presiden t Walter Dallam Toy, M. A. Sec. of Faculty Charles Thomas Woollen...Be Manager Julius Algernon Warren Treus. and Bursar Thomati J a mi's Wilson. Jr.,. I'h. l)....Iteglstrar Eugene Fred Parker, A. M Recorder , '.COLLEGES AND SCHOOLS Marvin Hendrix Stacy. A. M. i , , j Itean uf the CoUfge of. Liberal Arts Andrew Henry Patterson, A. M. . iieuu iii the School of Applied Science Charles Lee Kaper,. I'h. D. . oean of the Graduate School Lucius Rolk McGehee, A. B Dean of the Schooi of Law Isaac Hall Manning, M. t f . ; Dean oj the School of Medicine Edward Vernon Howell, A; B., ph. G. ' . . ; Itean of the School of Pharmacy Marcus Cicero Stephens Noble, bean of the School of Education THE LIBRARY Louis Round Wilson. Ph. D Librarian THE GYMNASIUM Robert Baker Lawson, M. D --..-Director THE STUDENT COUNCIL Senior Oliver Rond, President. Junior -Albert Coates Sophomore E. O. Fltzslmmona Medical Pharmacy (Other members to be elected soon.) TUB ATHLKTIC ASSOCIATION Officers to be elected this fall. FOOTBALL TEAM . Captain G, W. Tandy Manager-. -. - J. . M. Coleman Assistant Manager Hay Armstrong COACHES ' Head Coach.,.-. Thomas 3. Campbell Assistant Couch .'..Rawson R. Cowen Assistant Coach.- ..Dewltt Klutta BASEBALL TEAM Captain . C. Zolllcoffer Manager W. R. Allen Assistant Manager..-., ...It. C. Black Assistant Manager J. C. Tayloe BASKETBALL TEAM Captain....- ,. ...Q. 11. Tennent Manager . S. B. Tanner Assistant Manager - F. R. Farthing Assistant Manager .......W. B, Klnlaw TRACK TEAM ; . Captain... ..... .J. G. Johnson Manager.-. G. B. Crowell 'Assistant Manager...... ....,...C. Carrie Assistant Manager.. - ...William York : STUDENT PUBLICATIONS THE UNIVERSITY MAGAZINE Editor-in-Chief .. J. A. Capps Associate Editor. ...A. M, Coates M. B. Fowler M. Roundtree A. M. Llndau C. L. Snider W. T. Steele Manager. N. F. Williams THE YACKETY YACK Editar-in-CMef ....J . It. Patton Business Manager............... ...W. B. Austin Business Manager . G. M. Norwood THE TAR HEEL THE Y. M. C. A. President E. L. Mackle Vice-President...-. -". D. E. Eagle Secretary M. B. Fowler Treasurer . R. M. Stockton General Secretary Francis F. Biadshaw 1 5 eta. Moh, 6 lor 90 ets. CLUETt PEABODY trCO. mCAMKCRS University of North Carolina Maximum of Service to the People of the State1 A. The College of Liberal Arts. " ' B. School of Applied Science. 1. Chemical Engineering. 2 Electrical Engineering. 3. Civil & Road Engineering. 4; Soil Investigation. C. The Graduate School, D. The School of Law. E. The School of Medicine. F. The School of Pharmacy. G. The School of Education. H. The Summer School. I. The Bureau of Extension. 1. General Information. 2. Instruction by Lectures. 8. Correspondence Courses. 4. Debate and Declamation. 5. County Economics and So cial Surveys, 6. Municipal and Legislative Reference. 7. Teacher's Bureau, Preparatory Schools, and College Entrance Require ments. Write to the University when you need help. For information, regarding the Uni versity, address. THOS. J. WILSON REGISTRAR SHEETS, PILLOW CASES, PITCH ERS, BOWLS, ETC. H: H. PAtTERStKl OPPOSITE CAMPUS Dr.W.M.LYNCil .; . ri ..... ,( Dentist . . , New Ofhce over Chapel kill Hard ware Store Chapel Hill. N. C. Our Automobile Iriick delivers fresh bread each day to your Grocer. Phone 560 STAR BAKERY Durham, N. C. tifhr baMer SMbi Cleanest and Most Sanitary Opposite Campus Bud Perry O. E. Lloyd mmmmtmmammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm RdYAL & BORDEN Furniture Company DURHAM. tiORTH CAROLINA Dealers in High-Grade . Furniture Furnishings for Students. Everything for the home E.V.Howell. " G. B. Griffin Ph, CH.ri THE PEOLES BANK Lueco Lloyd R. H. Ward 1t Vic Pmi, 2nd Vice Pitt. lie -How do you like my mus tache? She Not so very well at first sight. ;-;: :; He Perhaps it wll grow on 'you. ; She Oh, James,! you are al ways thinking of .ih mosjif ridicu lous things. YaloRocorll.
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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Sept. 23, 1916, edition 1
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