Newspapers / Daily Tar Heel (Chapel … / Feb. 8, 1924, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
ar fttl The Leading Southern College Semi Weekly Newspaper" Member of N. C. Collegiate Association Press Published twice every week of the col lege year, and is the official news oaDer of the Publications Union of the University of North Caro Una, Chapel Hill, N. C. Subscrip tlon price, $2.00 local and $3.00 out of town, for the college year. Offices on first floor of New West Building Entered as second class mail mat ter at the Post Office, Chapel Hill, N. C. EDITORIAL STAFF C B. Colton Editor W. M. Saunders .Assistant Editor F. M. Davis, Jr. Assistant Editor J. hi. Saunders..- Managing Editor . D. Apple Assignment Editor REPORTERS H. J. H. M. W. j J. L. R. Fuller E. Bnwkins N. Parker M. Young T. Rowland A. Cardwell, Jr O. Bailey A. Crowell C. L. Haney S. E. Vest W. B. Pipkin W. S. Mclver M. P. Wilson W. D. Madry A. E. Poston E. S. Barr J. R. Parks W. H. Hosea Bessie Davenport BUSINESS STAFF Augustus Bradley, Jr...- Bus. Mgr. Harold Lineberger. Asst. Bus. Mgr. W. T. Rowland ... Advertising Mgr. LOCAL ADVERTISING DEFT. G. L. Hunter .. Manager Assistants J. G. Dunn W. C Whitehead H. L. Rawlins FOREIGN ADVERTISING DEPT. C. G. Reeves Manager - Assistants Harold Seaburn ........ .. Alex. Crowell CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT William Way, Jr. -Circulation Mgr. Assistants: W. J. Toy, Jr Tom Dibble H: L. Wilcox M. M. Fowler Classified Ad Dept. J. F. Shaffner j Manager Anyone desiring to try out for Business Staff apply Business Mgr. Yon can purchase any article adver tised in The Tar Hl with perfect nafety because everything It adver tises is guaranteed to be as repre sented. We will make good imme diately if the advertiser does not. Vol. XXXII. Feb. 8, 1924. No. 32 News leaked out that the laundry drivers threatened to strike. Dirty work at the laundry it would seem, However, it should all come out in the wash. In a paragraph you can say any thing and get away with it, but edi torials require that dainty touch Zip! goes another paragraph. Now that our fair village is about to install sidewalks, we expect to see roller skating become a popular af ternoon sport. Those who heard Madame Julia Claussen Wednesday night were de lighted with her rare performance. She captivated her small audience as soon as she uttered her first note, and filled Memorial Hall with music if not with hearers. Our weekly weather report. Fair, balmy weather in the north for the past few days as far as Washing ton. Heavy storms and cloudy weather due the latter part of the month centering in Atlanta. No wrecks are looked for, however. These paragraphias are much easier to write than editorials. This is the formula: We sit before our mahogany desk in a semi-trance while we survey the campus and passers-by with thoughtful mien un til an idea hits us. A few clicks of our trusty $100 typewriter and we have a paragraph. Today's mail brought us a letter from Postmaster Herndon request ing the Tar Heel to correct the state ment in the last issue regarding fail ure of the post office to show prop er courtesy to former President Woodrow Wilson. Before the Tar Heel went to press, a reporter was dispatched to ascertain if the post office flag had been lowered to half mast.' Perhaps the reporter had un seeing eyes or the flag was of such small dimensions it escaped his no tice, for he reported that the flag was not flying. Hence our biting comment We are sorry for the mis understanding. ist. THE NEW COLLEGE COMIC A new comic in the offing to fol low in the footsteps of the old Tar Baby and the Boll Weevil, but that will avoid the financial pitiaus mai spelled ruin for these predecessors, is the announcement of a group of men interested in publication work. How the campus will receive this budding humorous magazine is uncertain; it may be a trifle sceptical oi uie in fant as yet unnamed and unintroduc ed, and on the other hand, the cam mm mav receive it witn open arm as a welcome and permanent guest that will blot out the stigmai left by the Tar Baby 'and the now decrepit Boll Weevil. A humorous publication bearing the official sanction of the University is inevitable here, and the sooner it comes the better. The mind of the average University student turns to humorous rather than serious liter arv Droduction. The Carolina Maga zine has never firmly gripped the camnus during its checkered career, because only a small proportion of the student body is interested in pro ducing or supporting a magazine that aims to uphold high standard liter ary work. But a 'funny magazine with clever cartoons, jokes, satire, subtle humor, jiggling rhimes that don't have to be interpreted is . al ways popular. Carolina students lik all other colleze creatures 'would much rather laugh than think and do so. ' ' If the spark for high-grade crea tive literature is lacking, an effort should be made to direct and develop the natural humorous talent into colleee comic. A magazine of this kind, through its variety of content, offers a splendid opportunity for training in creative skill. Mr. C. A, Hibbard of the English department, has been running a series of articles in "College Humor" showing how the humorous magazine affords the best outlet for genuine student expression of all college magazines. The aver age college student isn't mature enough or sufficiently schooled the arts for distinctive achievement in serious literary production. His volatile mind turns far more easily to light, whimsical matter, and in this respect the college man has made a distinct contribution to American lit erature. Mr. Hibbard cites a signifi cant list of well known writers of to day who served their apprenticeship as editors of humorous college maga zines, and this rudimentary process laid an invaluable foundation for their work of wider scope later on. The examples of the old Tar Baby and the renegade Boll Weevil have shown that Carolina can produce college comic that will rate high among sister publications in the coun try. The Tar Baby especially was accepted widely as the South's lead ing comic and was quoted extensive ly by the best humorous publications, Poor business management killed its literary excellence, and it sank out of sight disgracefully. The Boll Weevil likewise gave promise of developing into a comic of hish caliber until questionable business deals and fraud ulent use of the University's name, brought upon it the full wrath of the University officials, and it became the outlawed insect that it is now. The Publication Board in adopt ing a new comic have made sure against unstable financial handlin ii should ,be remembered that the new publication will not become a member of the budget fee, until it has established itself as a success ful publication, and this is to be de cided upon by a student vote; that in no way will the finances of the Pub lications Union be affected by the new comic; that it will have the of ficial sanction of the Puhlicatinna Union Board, and will be comnnspd solely of bona-fide students. An alumnus of the University has generously offered his financial aidi in giving the new comic a strong start. With this as a stimulus, plans are coming along nicely. The new editor, intending to get the first is sue out by Easter, is urging all men who .are interested in Carolina' third comic endeavor to make appli cation. The Tar Heel endorses the new venture heartily as one that will fill a real need in creative work t Carolina, and that is sure to develon into a true reflection of Carolina wit. And best nf all th. management will be on solid m-nimrf. free from a crooked tinge. Other wise it would not be allowed to ex- "The Lord hardened Pharo ah's heart." The Bible says so. What does -it mean? Student Bible Class at the Chapel of the Cross next Sunday at 10 A. M. THE WILDERNESS BY J. OSLER BAILEY The Bok Peace Plan has written its last will and testament and has un dergone an apathetic demise, even before Mr. Bok, who was recently Americanized with vehemence, has been elected President. The patriots of Xyzkia and Aikzyx, in some un known land beyond uncharted seas are this minute calling one another "boshes'' and "Swinehunders" across the trenches; and within our own fair-spreading domain, Hiram John son and the Great Old Republican Party have beaten their plowshares into pitchforks and are swearing sanguine destruction. All is not yet placid upon our dizzy sphere. We submit that Mr. Bok's pet collection of intricate cogitations has run afoul American stupidity and has been dashed to bits on that great bulwark of our nation. More to the dear public's liking to we cater. We have a plan that will salvage the world from iron-clad Mars and pres ent it, beaming-cheeked, for agree able ruination at the shrine of a more pleasant lady, whom we shall person ify as Lady Nicotine, a daughter of the Chesterfields. We shall eluci date. We shall, as college "men" ap proach this problem of cosmic har mony in a fittingly philosophic man ner. Civilization, after all, is sum med up admirably on a Chesterfield cigarette advertisement. To become placid, as "peace" would indicate, it must satisfy. Everything man has invented, from his wife to his tobac co, his moustache to his religion, is an attempt to satisfy himself, n'est-ce pas? The clash cames when Angelina devours Aunt Jemina's cake, so to speak. Economics, and all that tomfoolery, have nothing to do with it. So let us satisfy every body, and the lions shall lie down with the lambs, say "aw, revoir" to one another, and go to sleep. Imprimis, man's first concern, his vanity, must be satisfied. In our "Chesterfield" Peace Plan Hasn't the name a much more euphonic sound than Bok? our first article strives to promote universal pacifica tion by making it an internatioral custom that the ruler of every coun try shall wear as voluminous i moustache as possible. That will ap peal to his vanity, and his nation's just pride. The prime reason Amer ica entered tne war was that our President did not wear a fur-lined upper lip. Wilhelm, in his mora com placent vanity reasoned that any specimen not masculine enough to show his gender by his trappings was no match for a man with accoutre ments so magnificent as his own. So long as Roosevelt strained the Pres idential soup, Kaiser Bill kept a most respectful distance. Now, there must be some form of competition between the armies. Bloodshed is quite horrid, and not at all essential. We submit the Pick wick methods, which are eminently satisfying. Such methods are n.uch more stinging, but lack the horribly obliterative qualities of modern war fare. Our National Army shall be duly supplied with slingshots, gog gles, headgear, and peanuts. If our brave Sammies are overcome by hos tile forces, they shall eat the pea nuts. The dire onslaught of the en emy will be overcome; defeated per haps devastated is the word! Suv-!i process will not only save our gov ernment the price of Chlorine, but will immeasurably enrich our South ern planters. The teeth of the League of Na tions have been declared false. Let us be barefaced about it. We shall abolish 'the. League and establish an international Home for Obsolescent Statesmen. . It will accomplish the same purpose. . If a statesman with an overgrowth of vanity on his lip shall become fractious, his tonsils shall be re moved. If they have gone for a pre vious offense, his appendix shall fol low them. As a last resort, his moustache shall be clipped, National anthems shall be abolish ed, and music shall be substituted. It is much more satisfying, and does not breed vanity. We suggest, "Yes, We have no Bananas," as a suitable international hymn, including the Scandinavian, "If "bananas" is not considered a polite theme for public concerts in open daylight, the words "standing army" shall be substitut ed. The bananas refrain, how-aver, seems to satisfy the popular vacuum in even an international sense. rrl v.. trl.iv Vlan shall bo abol- x lie au ni" " ished, and the Society of Sunbeams shall be allowed to proselyta the world. There is overmuch suspicion be tween nations. That vile and insid ious weapon, the Espionage System, shall be forever abolished, and an Honor System substituted in its place. The marvelous manner in which such a system operates on the Carolina campus, if known to the world, will secure its immediate adop tion by humanity from London-Town to far Cathay. If one nation shall violate another, for an example, if Germany shall take an apple from America's box without dropping in the customary 50 billion Marks, the President of Germany shall bo un der obligations to memorize two pages of the Congressional Record for each offence. Esperanto shall be scrapped, and the international code which recent ly proved so effective between our doughboys and the chic Parisiennes namely, a series of easily learned sighs, grunts, wags and ogles, shall be universally adopted. The useless teaching of French and German shall be prohibited in American schools. Brutality to the above-mentioned languages, by American youth, is perhaps one of the chief causes of international disgruntlement. These articles shall be submitted to the American people, thru' the TAR HEEL, to the Dialectic and Philanthropic Literary Associations in session assembled, and to the Freshman class, in Chapel assembled. We wish to state in closing that we have no ulterior motive in sub mitting our peace plan to the Great American People. Mr. Bok refused us his prize money, for political rea sons, but we are sure that our Na tional bulwark, as mentioned in our first paragraph, will vindicate our judgment. May our Plan bring Peace, and may Mars forever be "condemned, my dear, only condemn ed." Zeus "bless us everv one . The High Point Club met last Thursday night at the Y. Besides the ordinary run of business the mem bersWereSdelighted wifli an elabor ate and delicious course of hot puns. Dopes were used as chasers. Published inK If the interest of Elee- trical Development by U If an Institution that will be helped ty what 1 ever helps the i ' Industry, J Western Electric Company M..Sinct '186 hrt and distributors qf electrical equipment i i i . . f ' ' J Nmber 36 a series r " ELISHA MITCHELL SCIENTIFIC SOCIETY Program of 270th Meeting Tuesday, February 12, 7:30 P. M. Phillips Hall. Dr. A. W. Hobbs Formu las from Date. Dr. J. F. Dashiell Race Differences in Tempera-lent. Professor George L. Clark will ar rive Saturday to teach during the spring term of the Law School. Mr. Clark is at present on leave of ab sence from the University of Cincin nati, where he will return next fall. His subjects while here will be Real Property and Trusts. Ov Nft Showing At Jack Sparrow's Will be on Tues. and Wed., Feb. 19 and 20 CLOTHES FOR THB COLLEGE MAN The SACK SUIT (MaJeinlhreeandfourbuam moMi) SvEN a plain nek tuit may, have the refinements of cut anu material that distinguish good clothes from the usual com mercial product. LUXE NBERG sack suits at distiiKtive. 29-50 to 237-50 Manufactured and sold exclusively by NatLUXENBERG&Bros. New address 841 Broadway N.W. Cor. 13 th St. Stuyvannt 9898 New York City Out style-memo, book will b sent free, on request . Branches: Newark, N. J. 863 Broad Street 177 Broadway New York City The ivy won't save any of us npiIE ivy of tradition is a slender sup port. A man or a team or a college that clings to it, harking back to the glories of yesterday, is likely to be out stripped by some young but sturdy rival. That is a sermon we have taken home to ourselves. The Western Electric Company is proud of its fifty-four years of history. But it is a great deal more concerned with the next fifty-four and that is why we have been talking" to the college men of America month after month now for four years. The future of this business depends not so much on the physical equipment we have built up as on the mental equip ment which men of your generation are building on your habits of study and conduct, on your right choice of a pro fession and your proficiency in it. So we have made suggestions for your guidance, with the conviction that they can help you and us. This company, with its laboratories, its distributing organization and its great tele phone factory in every respect a modern industry and in many respects a leader will have openings from time to time for men who can qualify. eis Shoes Stedily increasing sales each succeeding year plainly indicate the uni versity man's approval of John Ward Men's Shoes. A variety of lasts, patterns and lethers to meet every need wit be shown by Ai M. Shimmon at JACK SPARROW'S Today and Tomorrow Stores In NewYork.Brooklyn.Newark and Philadelphia Address for Mail Orders, 121 Duane St., New York City SUCCESS always leads through some door which in most cases is that of a bank. It is a rare case that does not in volve some banking institu tion. No matter how much a man gets or how little he should always plan to put aside something for a "rainy day." Deposit Regularly With THE BANK OF CHAPEL HILL Chapel Hill, N. C.
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Feb. 8, 1924, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75