North Carolina Newspapers

Page 2 THE TAR HEEL Tuesday, April $0, 19$ The Leading Southern College Tri-Weekly Newspaper Member of North Carolina Collegiate Press Association Published three times every week of the college year, and Is the official new paper of the Publications Union of the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, N. C. Subscription price, $2.00 local and $3.00 out of town, for. the College year. Offices on Building. first floor of New Telephone 318-Red. West Entered as second-class mail matter at the Post Office, Chapel Hill, N. C. J. T. Madry Harold Seburn..... :..:.:..............Editor ....Business Manager . . Editorial Department Managing Editor Ashby;:.' . Tuesday Issue J. F A. B. White., L. H. McPherson ..Thursday Issue ..Saturday Issue Where are the intra-muralists ? They, like the canine population, are expected to come out soon and launch into their busiest quarter. J. Pluvius pulled a good one dur ing High School Week and refused to shed tears in ' the annual con ventional wav. Several threats were made, but the goods were never de' livered.. Another case of fooling the public. With the coming of the balmy snrinar days, the straw hat era is near at hand. If our memory serves us right, the first "corrtet" day to darn the straws is May 10, and if our predictions are any good we expect to see Professor Chester Pejin Hig by in his lightweight bonnet on that date. We saw a straw a week ago just up from Alabama and it was the ovnosure of all eves. J. N. Robbing Assistant Editor D. D. Carroll Assignment Editor J. H. Anderson J It. Bobbitt, Jr. J. M. Block J. E. Coggins Walter Creech ' J. R. DeJournette K. J. Evans Uuth Hatch T. W. Johnson II. C. Lay R. P. MeConnell Alex Mendenhall Staff H. L. Merritt J. W. Moore W. P. Perry J. P. Pretlow W. P. Ragan T. M. Reece S. B. Shephard, Jr. F. L. Smith W. S. Spearman J. A. Spruill W. H. Windley H. A. Wood Business Department Sarah Boyd... , Ant. to livs. Mgr. ' T. V. Moore , . Advertising Department Chas. A. Nelson -..Advertising Mgr. Baron Holmes S. Linton Smith J. C. Uzzell, Jr. Circulation Department Marvin Fowler ... ...Circulation Mgr. Dick Flagle John Deaton Tom Raney ' Reg Schmitt You can purchase any article adver tised in the Tar Heel with perfect safety because everything it adver tises is guaranteed to be as repre sented. The Tar Heel solicits adver tising from reputable concerns only. Tuesday, April 20, 1926 II. L. Mencken certainly , knew what he was doing when he had the police to arrest him in Boston. -. The American Mecury has sprung into into such popularity that the local library authorities have put it on re- The belated vernal awakening is at last at hand Winter has lost its grip on Mother Earth for 'another year, we hope. Grass is springing from terra fir ma while the stalwart oaks are taking on a verdant hue. I f Spring is here, can barnyard golf be far behind? '-,, The monkey business is up again. The ' Di Senate has invited Repre sentative Poole to come to the Uni versity soon and express his views against the. teaching of evolution in the public schools. Better watch out Senators, lest Mr. Poole make" a phool of somebody. The High Schoolers had the honor of being the first to use the structure on the north-eastern part of the cam pus called Graham Memorial. There is a" slight possibility that some of tli'. sa same students may be able to use tiie finished building about the time they are graduating from col-'lege. Now that dancing is again with us a new tervn has been discovered which belongs in the, category. Necking, 'petting, and spooning luive given way to "looping" which is described as something modern and requires a motor car. It means skipping out from a dance and describing a loop with a car through the country and coining back to the dance again. It is said to be no worse than romantic buggy-rides of sainted memory, "which is another way of saying that it never will be popularized. The act is an old one but the term is new to One of the ;sagest parables that Will Rogers has ever spoken about colleges was uttered when he said that what college students need is narrower trousers and broader ideas. Rogers' advice is being taken by at least one school. The Philatelic? So ciety, which formulates the fashions for the famous Harow public, school, has decreed that boys who are five feet, ten inches high may wear trous ers as large as 20 inches at the bot tom, alowing an extra inch in the case of boys who are six feet tall. Most of the Carolina fops are within the law. Col. H. J. Koehler, for more than forty years drill master at West Point, has expressed the view that college men make the best army offic ers when it is necessary to take offic cers from civil life. - He said it is because the collegian is by training more receptive to intensive study. Local olive oiled sheiks wearing plus fours . don't look like the stuff that is neded to lead an army into the firing lines, but the colonel can find good backing here for his statement in the "intensive study" line. One out of every ten made the honor roll last quarter. : THE NEW ORDER With the passing of the old order and the coming in of the new it has become an annual expectation of the editor to state in his initial edi torial the policy that the paper will pursue during his regime. The hab it seems to be a useless formality to us, as the policy should be easily detected without a definite statement, but we will' face the ordeal. We are aware of the fact that wholesome dissatisfaction with the present is a sign of progress, but we do not have a bucket of red paint and a brush in the office and hope that it will not be necesasry to purchase said articles. ' The newspaper editors of the state press are prone to look on the college editors as radicals and fosterers of hot beds of radicalism, but we believe the pressmen hold mis taken views.' Knowing that more progress can be made in- a state of complete harmony and .cooperation than in a tumultous condition which generally arises when rapid progress is attempted, our policy shall always be to prefer cosmos to chaos. The Tar Heel has made great strides as a tri-weekly during the current college year and it shall be the aim of the , incoming staff to push forward and improve in every way possible. The paper will con tinue to act as a buffer between the student body and the faculty and in return will expect and solicit the cooperation of both parties. Pompous and platidinous news and editorial comment will be avoided as much as possible in the future as they have been hi the past. t It has been said that 'editorial com ments in a college paper are not per sonal affairs, nor are they to be used for private weapons; that a college paper should register the opinions of the student body as nearly as the editor can estimate them. These words concisely express our senti ments. The Tab Heel has a real function as an organ of cooperative undergraduate thinking. Our favorite tri-weekly has been accused of being everything from a repository for campus gossip to a handbill for athletics. As such it would be a waste of ink and effort. Naturally the question arises, for what activities will the paper serve as a ' mouthpiece during the coming year? According to Prof. Leon R Whipple of New York University, there are six types of college news papers; namely, (1) College Bill board. No amplification is needed. The name is self explanatory ; (2) University Mouthpiece, a loud speak er for the trustees and president; (3) Village Gossip. This paper is made up of personals about profes sors and students; (t) Journal of Education.. This is a "sorry and dull" paper, the result of faculty efforts to eject education into the reader; (5) The Local Gad Fly, a magazine of criticism, which does not usually last long; and (6). The Zealous Crusader, a paper that sees beyond immediate campus problems and partakes of national problems. Strictly speaking the Tar Heel does not fall into any of these cate gories but would best qualify in the College Billboard group, which might be said to be the most servie ahle. to the University. Innumerable I protests have been made against the paper in the past, the chief opposi tion contending that the paper served a san athletic Clarion. Whether these "kicks" were justifiable is a matter for the student body to decide. The fact remains that most students are interested in athletics, and sports news has been plentiful whereas oth er news which the might have been of interest to Tar Heel readers has bern scarce at times. . ' ' , ' No organization or group controls the paper and it is not under any obligations to anyone. Therefore, we expect to give a just proportion of news to all. and show special favor to none. There is no place for iconiclasts on the. paper, but we reserve the right and privilige to be as radical as a Russian or as conservative as Coolidge. OPEN FORUM To the Editor of The Tab Hrel: It is very likely that the Easter holi days have driven it from the minds of the people, but the campaign for books for High Point Methodist Protestant College library is still in progress. We have received quite a number, but as yet, there are more promises than books, and the goal is not in sight. How ever, we have been assured that the promises of the faculty are good. But we all know that busy men will procras tinate, if not actually forget. If you have any books you can spare, give them to the boys and girls of High Point College they need them. , The student body is not being solicited in person and a good many of the fac ulty will be missed, but we will appre ciate an unsolicited gift and this is to remind any and all that the "Y" of fice is receiving the books. i (Signed) . Mrs. J. J. Cbawfobd. ; April 16, 1926. Dear Mr. Editor: Late Thursday night I wandered into Murphy Hall and sat in on the tail end of one of the annual High School De bate preliminaries. Among the debat ers, home town friends, and interested students, it was easy to spot the three judges Signified, learned professors of the University. While the debaters orated, I watched Calendar - Tuesday, April 20 11:00 a.m. Executive Board of Trus tees meeting. . 12-.noon Speaking in 112 Saunders at 1:00 p.m. in north room of. Law Blgd. 7:00 p.m. Di Senate, Di Hall. 7:15 p.m. Preliminaries for the Peace Oratorical Contest, Di Hall. 8:30 p.m. Freshman Friendship Coun cil, Y. M. C. A. ,' ,. Wednesday,-April 21 4:00 p.m. -Varsity Baseball, Carolina vs Elon, Emerson Field. ' 4:00 to 7:00 p.m.r-PIaymaker Try outg. Theatre Building. ( 7:15 p.m. Preliminaries for the Fresh man. Inter-collegiate Debate, Di Hall. Thursday, April 22 2:00 p.m. Geology Club, Geology Building. ' f , 1i30 p.m. Deutsche-Verein, Episcopal Parish House. , . Friday, April 23 3:30 p.m. Varsity Baseball, Carolina vs. Virginia, Emerson Feld.i Sunday, April 25 8:30 p.m. Playmaker Reading, Thea tre Building. Professor X taking notes, and wondered what was going on in his august, judi cial mind.. Later, when he rose to go, some loose sheets fell unnoticed from his notebook, containing the following ob servations. He had evidently been through the "grind" before! , '. .O. A. W. (The query: Resolved, that the United . States should cancel the Allied War Debt,) v Hot tonight with that student chair man would start the oratorical fireworks. . At last we're off. First speaker: Robert Brady little red-haired fellow Boy, not so loud Great Seott, this little egg-headed volcano will shatter the win dows. Boy, you're going to burn out a buttery if you are not careful There! Forgot your speech; I told you so, Your spring is wound too tight. "If ever a man needs help, it is when he is in need of it." Robert, you spoke a mouthful that time. Child, calm your self:' remember your mother Caroline Henley t tall, bobbed-haired brunette "To give one's life for one's country bespeaks the noblest con sideration.".. It does, Caroline, but I bet yon read that in a book. '. "France has been bled white; F.ngland has lost the flower of her manhood." . I weep with you, Carrie, but this is the third time France has bled in the last five minutes Kstelle Honeycutt: Sweet Baby!! Angei-eome-to-earth . . . those eyes, liquid pools of heavenly blue. The rest of you can all go home. Mr. Chairman, wrap up the silver trophy for this bean tifullady Divine form She speaks ah Baby ! "My opponents seem to think China is in Europe.". Bully .for you, Honey; they're a bunch of half-wits "Who opposes debt payments? None but a few scheming politicians and out oppon ents . , ." Fine, fine ! Oh, to take this sweet Thing into my arms just once and give her a fatherly kiss or, well, not so fatherly . ; Girlie, my vote is yours forever Gosli, Rankin ought to run a beauty contest next year r John Ben Pritehard: Heavy swain with big ears. Dumb-looking, like a bull calf. John, what makes your hands so red and your ears stand out so? Careful, John; I won't stand for a word against Honey.' : Minnie Pender: Sharp-nosed brunette noisy, with a rasp. Minnie, you re mind me of Honey you're so different ' Yes, Minnie, wasn't it awful about the war and the starving babies , Ah, that little Honeycutt ! Wasn't she irresistible when she said her oppon ents were dumb! ', Minnie, ston putting your hand on your abdomen; it is an awkward gesture And what makes your neck sto red,; Girl? ', Yes, Minnie, you have proved your case, but your case is htipeless. Your words sound familiar "France has been bled white" ; ah, but V hen you first saw Honey, you should have gone home Annie Crabtree: Brunette bob, full of wimmen wigor, a trifle plump. Annie. I suspect you have a nasty dispo sition. Verily, thou art a strenu ous, powerful female. . . . I wilt before thy logic Ah, me, . , I wonder where Honeycutt is from , If my fellow judges say a word against her, I shall have to kill them Lord! It's 11 p.m. Wonder if the milk home on the porch is sour (The query: Resolved, that North Carolina should build, a port terminal . . or something like that.) , Another orgy of oratory. . Beatrice Daggett: Good-looking bru nette, green dress and bangs . . . what pretty arms. . .. There you go popping statistics at me already .' , . You're hard to listen to, but. easy to look at Dick Kelson i Dick is a go-getter drug store cowboy, blong curly hair parted in the middle, .tall, rather flat-chested. Good looking, mouth large and very mov able. Wags his head continuously. "We must take heroic action at once." Ah, Dick,' you and I both aspire to the hero ic. You don't know what romantic as pirations some of us solemn professors harbor within our academic breasts. "Sir Waller Raleigh, who to seek this paradise washed by the stormy Atlan tic . . ." Greut! "Unfurl the flag of the Old North State, t . God has given us a priceless gift." That's oratory, Boy. Keep off those infernal statistics, Rich ard) one little wisp of curled hair over a penciled eyebrow will beat any sta tistics off the map. The student chairman of this debate is a pompous ass. Elsie. Cumberland: ' Pretty, vigorous, vanipy, curly-haired Baby Doll. Baby, let's have done with' statistics. Let's hear less of freight rates : and more of revolution and liberty. ; Water 'trans portation is' such a damp subject. , But Elsie, your pink shoulder strap is show ing outrageously. Naughty, naughty!. "Thou too, sail on, oh Ship of State. . ," I'm strong for you, oh Baby Doll Eyes . . lips I If my wife saw these judicial notes!!! Benjamin Waffle: . Little, serious, fu tile boy, dark hair, beefstake face, rat-tle-tongued. Benny, you'll make a fine train announcer some day. "Magnamln ity" sic Yes, it's a grand thing. "My opponents are sadly misinformed" Isn't It odd, Benny, how one's opponents always seem to get things twisted? Little Ben, the Ossippee Bear Cub ' I wonder if I locked the back door when I left ' Oh for a glass of beer and a rousing song! Surah Shoemaker: What an impossible woman the original "loud speaker." For the love of Mercy, woman, calm down. This is Hgony. We'll have you arrested for disturbing the peace. Spare us. She'll blow-a fuse any minute Ye Stars, I'll explode If I don't laugh or w-eep . . I shall go mad from inter nal pressure. . "Thou shalt not place this crown of thorns on the bead of the people of North Carolina" . . . "My op ponents are too hypothetical; that is the most sanguine thing I have heard since I read Thomas Miwre's Utopia" Canned stuff from the ice-box Have on, Chicken,' it's a stormy night . . . You must have a powerful diaphragm You have talked at least week; shut it off , David Cowpens: What a relief , . . strong, virile, steady boy, with a rural flavor. What's in a name? Pauline Wentworthj' Little freckled milk-maid, timid as a mouse. What's the King's English among friends? What's a use to dig big harbors, and then they fill "up again, and the money done, an gone?" True, true. Harvey Pitt: Jumping Jupiter, this bird swallowed the dictionary "Secure in this, boon of everlasting radi ation, we shall condescendingly let this potentiality predominate . .? Shades of Noah Webster! "We shall now conduct you to the subject of freight rates .-, . We must batter down the injustice of rate discrimination against out beloved and enamoured state . . ." Let the an gels scream,' Harvey, "Our opponents may vociferate . . ." If they do, Har vey, no gentleman should remain in the room. ,". Harvey, you bore me to tears with your windiness. "The citi ens should be converging on their al ternative . . . . I will not vituperate my opponents. . ." Someone is going to kill you for less than that some day. . . My nerves feel shredded. If you were me, Harvey, you would be weeping . . ; You have your- argument right by the tail haven't you? I'd love to violate de corum and rap you on the head. "Twould afford me relief and you benefit. - Time! Don't look so pained at the tap of the pencil; what the hell, man, would you talk forever? It's past midnight and still four to go Ye Gods ! , Gamma Delta to Give Dance for Installation O Observations : Gammu Delta, local fraternity, will be installed into lambda- Chi Alpha .Na tional Fraternity during the week-end of April 22 and 23. The, program for the installation will be" replete with en tertainment, of which the crowning event will be a dance .to be given at the Caro lina Inn, Friday evening. Since no other dance is to be given on this date, the Gamma- Delts plan to make it the leading social event of his quarter. SPECIAL TRAIN RUNS TO GREENSBORO SATURDAY Will Carry Students to Virginia-Carolina Game at Gate City Othe'r Plans Being Made. ' ' A special train will run to Greensboro for the Carolina-Virginia game next Sat urday. It will leave either at 8 or 9 o'clock and arrive in Greensboro about 11:00. ' -. : It has been an annual event for the N. C. C. W. girls to have open house and furnish entertainment for . Carolina students attending the game. Another feature of the trip will be a parade of the "Tar Heels" accompanied " by the bund. This feature of the occasion is without precedent in the previous Vir ginia-Carolina games. ' The girls will be drilled sometime this wiek by "Simatty" Thomas and Bob Hardee. Other college groups from over the state that are present are in vited to join our cheering section and arrangements are being made to wire invitations to different colleges. The fare on the special train has ten tatively been placed at $3.75. Arrange ments are being made to reduce the fare if possible. ,' Exam To Remove Grade "c" Apr. 30 Announcement has come ' from the English department that an examination to remove ' composi tion conditions will be given on April 30, at 4 p.m. in Murphy 202. All students who still have composition conditions to remove are requested to be present. This will be the last chance this quar ter to remove , them. Any stu dent who has . received a little "c" with the regular grade on a course will be required to remove this before the course will be counted for credit, The Way It All Began After three weeks of competitive news writing, 22 young Heelers have been pronounced full-fledged reporters and the old Tar' Heel reportorial staff of the past year steps wearily aside for the new typewriter ticklers. As the editorial staff gracefully withdraws, a few of these veteran old news gatherers are elevated to the editorial dignity. A newly elected assistant editor had just climbed onto the high office chair, preparatory to an enjoyment of his new role, when the Editor came along, "You've got to write a literary column Jayen," he said. ' "A; literary column? Ye Gods," we cried. "Why we only got a grade of "E" on our last English theme, and th prof, said he doubted if we could write our own name without making a mistake in grammar." " "Well, if you can't make it literary, write something," he said, and left us. And that Is how another cub reporter graduated into the ranks of that spright ly und long winded family of writers who, like Tennyson's brook, ramble "on for- er." We fully realiie the importance of our new position and may yet have to buy a new hat for our expanding cephalon. Some Praise Righty Bestowed Before going farther, we just want to toss a few boquets to the retiring edito rial staff and to our predecessar, C W. B in particular. It is due to these fel lows, with the help of the retiring repor torial staff, that the Tab Heel has been raised to an entirely new standard and has been enabled to remain a tri-weekly. "Cy" Baiemore with his Melting Pot has raised the aflice of Tab Heel assistant editor to something more closely resem bling one of influence and respect than any of his predecessors were able to do. The fact that his work has been appre ciated was shown when his class mates selected him as the best writer in the senior class. Fine work, Cyrus, may your success in after life be in propor tion to your success at Carolina. Aha! The Secret Is Out In "We Moderns," one of Coleen Moore's films that showed here some time ago, we remember the petite Co leen expresses a wild and uncontrollable desire to go to Bagdad and see the "cute Bagdaddies." Besides giving us a new synonym for the terms Shiek, Hot Poppa, and True Collegian, Coleen probably un wittingly gave us, a clue to t)ie placeof origin of y olde Oxenforde bagget so predominant on the college campuses. Anent Bull Fights We understand that Carolina has an organization known as the Matador Club. According to the Spanish Interpretation, the metador is a gaily bedecked young man who hops into the arena after the , hull fighter has wounded the animal and ' holds said ox with his strong hands while a brother with an ax or other formidable weapon completes : the annihilation. Whereupon, by the way, the aforemen tioned bull is very unceremoniously dragged off. Undoubtedly, the matador is a mighty useful fellow in his own way, but there seems to be a more pressing need here for toreadors and men to drag off the vanquished oxen. And yet, the columnist rambles gaily onward. Sunshine and Shadow We reflect upon the marvelous beauty of the universe when the buds begin to sprout forth, and the balmy sunshine dispels the last trace of chill winter, and, as we do so, our soul soars to poetical heights, even as C. W. B. predicted. But we bring our thoughts back to re ality with a jolt as we realize the awful- , ness and the seeming futility of college existence. An expressive phrase far re moved from poetry is framed silently by almost immovable lips. Darn that prof., why couldn't he give me a passing mark on that last quiz. Guess the only way to pass the course would be to "get a boot on him." - An Author's Oversight One of the old New England bards of the last century has warbled thus: "When I would recreate myself, I seek the dark est wood, the thickest and most Inter minable swamp. I enter the swamp 8 a sacred place, a tanctum sanctorum. There Is the strength, the marrow of Nature." Oyez, oyet, and don't forget the dear little mosqultoesl What delightful little adjuncts of the swamp are they. Per haps these creatures do not thrive in New England, or it may be that Henry Thoreau j wore a suit of mall when he took his scholarly excursions Into the swamps. ,:.- A Call for Assistance ; We often wonder at the quietness of Epsllon Upsilon Kpsilon. This is claimed to be a sort of outlaw organization of Carolina radicals. Perhaps It Is only joke',' after all. However, we have been told by authoritative persons that such an organiiuitkin really does exist. ' It " is anything more than a name and If I purposes, as some have said, to follow policy of opposition, there is plenty ot (Continued on page three)