Page Two
Ci)e Datlp Car Ceei
The' official newspaper of the Publi
cations Union Board of the University
of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
where it is printed daily except Mon
days and the Thanksgiving, Christ
mas, and Spring Holidays. Entered
a3 second class matter at the post
office of Chapel Hill, N. C, under act
of March 3, 1879. Subscription price,
$4.00 for the college year.
Offices on the second floor of the
Graham Memorial Building.
Jack Dungan ..........;Edit,or
Ed French .....Managing Editor
; John Manning.. Business Mgr.
Editorial Staff
EDITORIAL BOARD Charles G.
Rose, chairman; F. J. Manheim,
Peter Hairston, Vass Shepherd, R.
W. Barnett, J. M. Little, A. J. Stahr.
FEATURE BOARD Donald Shoe
maker, chairman; James Dawson,
Robert Berryman, Scott Mabon, and
E. H. x
LIBRARIAN E. M. Spruill.
CITY EDITORS George Wilsonr T.
W. Blackwell, Robert Woerner, Jack
Riley, Tom Walker, William McKee.
DESK MEN Frank Hawley, W. E.
Davis.
SPORTS DEPARTMENT "Jack Bes
sen, sports editor; Phil Alston, Mor
' v rie Long, assistant editors.
NEWS MEN William Blount, Clai
born Carr. -
HEELERS J. S. Fathman, Donoh
' Hanks, A. G. Ivey, J. H. Morris,
Walter Rosenthal, Joseph Sugar
man, A. M. Taub, C. G. Thompson,
A. G. Leihwand, J..D. Winslow,
Milton Bauchner, P; W. Crayton,
A. T. Dill, V. C. Royster, R. H.
Crowell, Franklin Wilson, P. W.
Markley, C. S. Mcintosh, W. N.
Ormand.
Business Staff
CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT
Tom Worth, manager. .
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT R. D,
McMillan, Pendleton Gray, and Ber
nard Solomon, assistants.
ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT
Jimmy Allen, manager; Howard
Manning, H. A. Clark, assistants;
Joe Mason, Nathan Schwartz, Bill
Jones, J. ,W. Callahan, H. Louis
Brisk.
COLLECTION DEPARTMENT John
Barrow, manager; Joe Webb, Henry
Randolph Reynolds, H. G. May.
SUBSCRIPTION DEPARTMENT R.
H. Lewis.
Friday, November 13, 1931
Editor Stars
In Grid Battle
Three members of the Colum
bia football team, one of them
Captain Ralph" Hewitt, walked
into the office of the Columbia
Spectator; student daily . news
paper, day before yesterday, and
threatened to do physical vio
lence to the paper's three edi
tors. All this because the Spec
tator published an editorial
which branded college football
a "senti-professional racket,"
which to a very great extent is
true in a big percentage of
American universities and col
leges. N ,
The three players Captain
Hewitt, William JVIacDuffie, and
Eddie Weinstock certainly did
not help their cause any by their
action, which smacks of that of
the much heralded "tramp ath
lete." We do not know or care
whether or not Columbia pays
its football players, but we do
not think the best type of foot
ball player would walk into a
newspaper office and threaten
physical violence to its editors.
After all we do have, or so they
' claim, such a thing as freedom
of the press.
Captain Hewitt's action tends
to make one think that the old
saying "a bit dog always hol
lers" is true to a great extent.
His action could have been much
more diplomatic and would have
accomplished more. A denial of
the story would have accomp
lished a better result. By their
action, the seed of suspicion has
been sown in the minds of peo
ple everywhere. Their anger
seems to have been much too
belligerent for so-called right
eous anger. . -
After all the statement of the
Spectator will accomplish noth
ing without definite proof. Di
rector Cardozo, head of the
Alumni Federation of Columbia,
seems to have the wrong idea
of the entire situation. ' He de
mands the resignation of Editor
Harris, if he can not prove the
charges. It seems to us that
Cardozo is "net up" over some
thing that does not affect him
in the least. , Of course, if Edi
tor Harris had charged that the
alumni had furnished the
money, then it would be a dif
ferent affair, but the alumni are
not mentioned, unless it is to be
assumed that they furnished the
money, as is the case in most in
stances. Cardozo's charge that
the statement is an insult to the
alumni and the university seems
to us utterly preposterous. The
university could not be insulted
unless university authorities
furnished the money with which
they were paid.
In fact the whole stand of the
alumni "and (team seems to be
that of guilty parties, so we con
gratulate Editor Harris and his
associates for their stand.
E.K.L.
Death Comes '
To Tabloidia ' -
Sensationalism in journalism
and the glories of tabloidia have
long been bewailed by the more
conservative clansmen of the
Fourth Estate as factors leading
to the decadence of American
journalism, should such a down
ward trend be admitted. The
tabloid, with its gigantic circu
lation builded on cheap sensa
tionalism, the rhymeless chatter
of debonair columnists, and the
conventional bathing beauty and
semi-nude night club dancers'
pictures, has been the despair of
ethical journalists since their
rise to prominence in the last
decade.
The tabloid is a post-war prod
uct, and it fills a crying need of
a supposedly nerve-strung pub
lic which seeks mental relaxation
in the perusing of "Daddy"
Browning's latest escapade or
the antics of some like dema
gogue of the yellowsheet. The
metropolitanite takes' his tabloid
like a cigarette, in short, jerky,
self -satisfying puffs, and once
consumed, it is thrown to lie side
by side with the other rubbish of
the gutter. Thus the tabloid is
popular with a. less literate pop
ulation than those who swear by
the Times from f generation to
generation.
The late trend in newspaper
dom has been away from the tab
loid style and toward the conser
vative, polished daily, which
functions with a noticably more
strict adherence to the , King's
English. Perhaps the answer
lies in the mistaken identity of
sensationalism, which is often
taken as an object of prime
news value. -D.C.S.
The First
Gleam
Clouds of depression are
gradually breaking up as the
gleams of returning prosperity
begin to shine through. For the
first time since its slump two
years ago, business is showing
signs of improvement.
Latest reports quoted in Time
show that the Federal Reserve
System ratio of reserves to de
posits and notes remained for
the past week unchanged at 59.9
per cent; that currency in cir
culation increased $24,000,000,
showing hoarding to be less pop
ular; that the failure of small
banks had decreased from
twenty-five per day to seven;
that wheat was up twenty cents
from its low ; and that cotton had
advanced six dollars a bale.
And still more optimistic evi
dence is that ; uncovered by the
National Association of Manu
facturers' annual survey which
discloses the fact that of 800 re
plies to questionaires sent to
twenty different industries, 58
per cent pointed to busy winter
prospects, while 54 per cent of
the responding concerns had
either maintained or raised their
scale wage.
Business is unquestionably in
creasing, but it will be - some
time before its actual effects can
be felt. Many persons will re
fuse to believe that business is
really better, saying that the
number of unemployed is still
practically the same. But this
difficulty will not be settled
over night. As the return of
prosperity has been long in arr
riving, so a decrease in unem
THE DAILY
ployment is still some distance
off.
One problem now is to con
vince the public that the depres
sion is really ended, and that
signs of returning prosperity are
again evident. So long as peo
ple insist on believing" that busi
ness is still bad there is no hope
of our again, coming into pros
perous sunlight "within the near
future.
Asinine as the suggestion may
sound, if a prosperity propa
ganda could be started to coun
teract pessimistic talk, it would
be easy to assume that before
many months had elapsed this
country would be again back on
its normal business level.
C.G.R.
Curfew For
Women Necessary
So much has been said against
the rules that abound in 'girls'
colleges and for girls on co-ed
campuses that, it is time for
someone to expound their ad
vantages. A typical example of
these rules is the one enforced
on this campus : that girls must
be in their buildings by ten
thirty on week nights. -
First among their virtues is
the fact that they afford the
rebel ample opportunity to car
ry out her theories. Without
rules there is nothing with which
to satisfy her craving ; with them
she can "kick over the traces,"
start a riot, write an editorial,
or whatever she finds necessary
to release herself from the very
thing that interests her.
More . often than not they
prove to be a saviour. When one
yawns at the rate of fifty times
to the hour in a date's face there
is always the comforting thought
that the ten-thirty bell never
fails to ring. And whose brain
and feet are not 'worn out by
an hour after the dance?
To the unpopular girl there i3
no better alibi than the rule one.
In a girls' school she can sit
around with the best of them
complaining because there are
no boys present and "thanking
her lucky stars" that no dates
are permitted.
The lazy girl finds ease for
her conscience in the stricter
schools. AH boring books and
papers must of necessity be laid
aside when the lights are turned
out in one's face.
This type of rule has been a
part of a system ever since col
leges for women were estab
lished. Although it has been re-'
laxed in recent years it has far
too many advantages to be abol
ished altogether. R.N.
The Low-Down
By- .
G. R. Berryman
How the Demondeans Effected a
Scourge Upon the Good
People of Norcaluniv
For many years the subjects
of the little kingdom of Nor
caluniv dwelt in peace and con
tentment. Life was a joy.
Every man was well satisfied
with his little share in the king
dom's wealth Then came the
dread year of 1931, bringing
with it those foul creatures now
known as Demondeans.
To understand the nature of
the scourge visited upon the in
nocent, trusting inhabitants of
Norcaluniv it is necessary to!
know something of the Demon
deans' origin.
For many years there had
been a death penalty inflicted
upon persons who caught the '
dread malady known as Menny-
cutz. This disease was a form
of co.ld. Its first visible symp
tom was a series x of sneezes.
But many who sneezed did not
catch the disease. This impor
tant fact should be noted. . :'
The executioners were called
Deans. They killed those who
caught this disease by removing
their heads with a huge suspend-
TAR HEEL
led axe. This machine was
known as the Expulsion be
cause it hurled the detached head
high into the air.
Most of the Deans felt pity
for the poor wretches whom
they executed, and wished that
there might be less to meet this
fate. However, there was a
small group who took a certain
sadistic delight in the deaths of
the poor devils.
One of these evil Deans wras
known as Dewittleflunk. This
wretch was so heartless as to
wish that more persons might
be sentenced to death so that
he might experience the pleasure
of seeing their detached heads
flying from the Expulsion ma
chine. In order to accomplish his evil
desires, he consulted with his
crony, Hobblegobble, a creature
whose tastes were almost as low
as his own. They then gathered
together several other con
scienceless Deans and plotted
the deaths of more Norcaluniv
inhabitants. At the end of this
discussion, they called for a
meeting of the executioners in
order to pass new laws. v
Dewittleflunk jumped to his
feet at the start of the meeting
and made the foul proposal that,
as some of those who sneezed
later caught Menny-cutz, it
would be best to execute imme
diately anyone who sneezed. The
other Deans were immediately
aghast at this heartless sugges
tion but, before they could con
sult among themselves, Hobble
gobble sprang to his feet and
lent his support to the evil prop
osition. Then, still another leapt
up to add his word.
By this time the gentle, kind
ly Deans were bewildered. They
looked at one another, each wait
ing for someone else to 'rebuke
Dewittleflunk for making sucti a
bloodthirsty motion. Being un
prepared and ununited, none
stood forward to oppose the mo
tion. Dewittleflunk and Hobble
gobble were powerful figures,
and none dared to face them
alone. The motion was then
voted upon.
It passed.
Now, Norcaluniv is a chaos
resembling ' hell. The blood
thirsty Demondeans are en
forcing their unjust and unrea
sonable amendment with hand3
of steel. The streets of Nor
caluniv resemble rivers of blood,
so often are men executed for
the simple act of sneezing.
The kindly Deans, still bewil
dered, do ' not realize how they
have been hoodwinked. They
watch the blood choke the sew
ers, but none dares to brave the
wrath of the Demondeans by at
tempting to stop the stream at
its source. '
Lines of
Least Resistance
By JAMES DAWSON
SOME WOMEN
M. W. M. .
Maid of Athens, ere we part,
Give, oh, give me back my heart.
Or, if you'll leave my actions free,
Keep it. It's no good' to me.
F. Y.
Poets have sung you through the years,
Novelists have poured you tender tears.
I (neither one) have only cried: S
You're driving me to suicide.
V. Y.
Baby, when I took your ring,
It didn't mean the usual thing.
(All backward) and I sadly find
I cannot trust my absent mind. 5
E. M.
Mozart is all your ears have heard,
And Shelley is your passionate bird.
If you'd be human, you would see
A comparable change in me.
e. n. '
Cynicism in you .is like
Solomon's wisdom in a tike
R. R. Clark
- Dentist
Over Bank of Chapel Hill
PHONE 6251
FOR PEACE
Strike gorgeous chords and wrest the gods of war,
New chords that sound symphonic harmonies!
Nor let thematic cadences be stilled
Till all the worlds are spanned in rapturous notes
Exchanging symphonies for armorments.
Ring roammouth bells throughout the listening worlds,
And lift the minds of men to planes of peace,
Ner let the echo of such mammouth bells
Be stilled until their tones return again . ,
To make us know their messages are heard.
Pray burning prayers that rush beyond the spheres,
For prayers must vibrate through the mind of God,
From whence they flash again to. earth and us,
Electrifying love and killing hate
Thus making heaven arid earth inseparable.
E. T.
Of ten. Without it, can't you see
How much more lovely you would be ?
J. N.
I like your walk, I like your way
Of moving, but the things you say
In Southern idioms were not meant
For that false Britisher accent.
V
V. w.
Life (says Vallee) is a serious,
And awfully mysterious. .
But I (and this is not a quip) . "
Say Life's a game of battleship.
D. L.
I said (sitting behind you there):
"I like the way she. wears her hair.
It's like a brown inverted cup.
(How does she keep the great weight
up?)" ,
F. C.
You seem always to have for me
A lovely hospitality.
As Dostoyevski said before:
"C'est a ne pas mettre un chien
dehors."
j
A. E.
In case you see this tender rhyme,
Relent save me at least a dime.
That library book I got for you
Is now just two weeks overdue.
To Our Hall Of Fame
' W e Nominate
Dudley DeWitt Carroll (sub
bing for R. B. House), who
miraculously appeared in every
newsphoto of the presidential in
auguration save one ; who
achieved a mark of .500 on for
ward passes, completing a two
yard heave of the Bible to Presi
dent Graham, but fumbled a seal
lateral behind the line of scrim
mage. The name of Lenoir Wright
was unintentionally omitted
from the list of commencement
marshals published in Wednes
day's Daily Tar Heel.
Before The Game Before The Dance
Let ; -
0 Kelly Tailoring Co.
' Clean and Press Your Clothes
Phone 3531
OLD MAN WINTER WILL CATCH
YOU NAPPING
If You Don't Watch Out
Don't let Old Man Winter catch you napping and
thereby cost .you more than likely the price of
a new cylinder block, a new radiator, etc. It
will be much safer to let us put in your radiator
the necessary amount of anti-freeze to insure you
against the above risk. We carry in stock Pres
tone, Glycerine, Alcohol, and other anti-freeze solu
tions that will safeguard your car should it sud
denly turn cold enough.
Here Is a List of Good Used Cars at Real
Bargain Prices
1930 model Ford Deluxe Roadster.. S325 00
1930 model Ford Tudor Sedan 32500
1929 model Ford Roadster " ?nn'no
... 1929 model Ford Sport Coupe "'" 265 00
X 1929 model Ford Taxicab " ' 22?00
Pontiac Coupe ....... . -
Buick Sedan Ill" 150 00
Chevrolet Coupe T " ; ' iqn nn
Several Model "T" For'ds at'
WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS
, . . . ,
- "Ford Products Since 1914"
Friday, November 13, 193
With
Contemporaries
Forget It,
Mr. Chappie
We are indeed startled to learn
that John B. Chappie, a univer
sity graduate, a newspaper edit
or, and a person who aspires to
political leadership, should take
seriously one of the campus' ma
jor assininities the proposal for
the formation of a body of stu
dents to combat the "red men
ace.' We enjoyed a hearty laugh
when he first heard of the pro
posal, and we know the majority
of students laughed with us. For
a mature man to keep a straight
face while speaking of the idea
is absurd or political.
Before Mr. Chappie makes any
alliances with this silly snipe
hunting brigade, he would do
well to consider one instance
where the same students' rights
have been trammeled upon, and
the consequences of the tram
melers. One day two years ago
a number of university commun
ists started a demonstration. It
was no more than a harmless un
employment parade around the
square. . A half dozen excited
stand-patters who happened to
be athletes organized, and by
means of force, routed the par
ade. To this day those athletes
are still trying to withstand the
concentrated guffaws that have
poured forth upon them from
the entire university as a result
of their act.
Should Mr. Chappie go any
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