Football .Simon -.Piires Leave Polluted Southern Conference
EDITORIALS:
I J Always good for a bore.
iTTEATHER:
vf The third ice age
V any minute.
THE ONLY COLLEGE DA ILY IN THE SOUTHEAST-
Z 525
VOLUME XLVII
EDITORIAL PHONE 43 SI
CHAPEL HILL, N. C SATURDAY, APRIL FOOL
BTSIKES3 PHONE 4H6
NUMBER 135
Gmpam Aeeep its Foirto Mie&m
Coeds Cast Q
Audience Thrills At Lively Debate
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Shown above are four views of the tremendous throng which crowded
Memorial hall to the rafters last night and listened with bated breath to the
stupendous, and colossal, too, program of the Poor Relations institute.
Thousands Of Jobs Eagerly
Await University Graduates
S-
Purpose Of Project
Hidden In Dark
Veil Of Blackness
According to an announcement by
the University placement bureau, all
graduates within the next four years
can be placed within one month after
leaving school.
The bureau announced that it now
has in its files more than 4,000 avail
able positions, all with steady pay.
Investigation of the sources of em
ployments discloses that the work is
healthful in addition to being both
mentally and physically relaxing.
RIGHT ATTITUDE
"Although a diploma from the Uni
versity is not necessarily a prere
quisite for those applying," Director
Welch said, "a college education will
have considerable bearing in the em
ployer's attitude toward the prospec
tive employee."
The jobs are made available of an
extensive project being carried out
n a national scale. Applicants may
specify, if they so desire, any por
tion of the United States in which
they wish employment with reason
able security that the request will be
granted.
DARK SECRET
The purpose of the project has not
yet been disclosed, even to the of
(Continued on page two)
Daily Tar Heel
Staff: Attention!
There will be an important meet
of the editorial staff of the
Daily Tab Heel this afternoon at
2 o'clock in the office in Graham
Memorial. The staff nomination for
tor will be held.
.1
NSBPWKCO PLANS
VALIANT FIGHT
AGAINST MENACE
Snicklefriggerovsky
Declares Situation
To Be Unbearable
The NSBPWKCO will hold its an
nual convention in Chapel Hill April
30-31, it was announced yesterday.
During its two-day session, the
NSBPWKCO (National Society for
the Banishment of Professors Who
Keep Classes Overtime) will attempt
to solve the chief problem which con
fronts the youth of America today,
namely, that of being kept in classes
after the designated length of class
time has elapsed.
SOUTH AGAIN
Q. X. Snicklefriggerovsky, national
chairman Sf the group, ' has declared
fthat the situation has become unbear
able in this country, particularly in
the south, and has referred to the
south as "NSBPWKCO Problem
Number One."
Many well-known speakers, includ
ing Dr. H. G. DeM, and I. B. Horn
swoggled, will address the representa
tives at their meeting here the end of
this month.
Too Late To Classify
LOST Outside Harry's One
cream-colored Cord with radio, heat
er, back seat that folds down like
a bed, and tank full of gas. When
last seen, a blonde was sitting alone
in back seat. Reward.
euM Yokes Flam Beer PartY
LONGER HOURS
OUTSIDE DORMS
ARE ANTICIPATED
Special Occasions
Are Planned For
Dating Freshmen '
Furthering their policy of personal
liberty, the women students late last
night issued a proclamation remov
ing all restrictions and regulations
formerly inflicted upon them.
A movement for longer hours (out
side the dormitory), began with the
motion that any co-ed able, flunking
or no, to stay in school should be
awarded the late permissions at one
time given only to students with a
C average. The final decision, how
ever, solved all problems by provid
ing that co-eds must neither sign in
or out. In this way the Woman's as
sociation plans to save enough money
from pencils and note-book paper
(and from electricity saved by remov
ing Spencer hall's search light) to
finance a beer party once a quarter.
Especially advocated by the YWCA
was the policy that, woman students
major only in archaeology. Wood-
house courses or a newly installed
complete marriage course to leave
more time for furthering men-women
relations. ,
; Also, in response to repeated re
quests, the association has decided
that untif Something 'can be done
about the situation in the State
Legislature, Carolina co-eds will eet
aside special occasions for dating
freshmen.
"One, institution indispensible with
liberty and freedom for all" was the
motto adopted by AKG, the YWCA,
the Woman's Athletic council and the
entire Woman's association.
Faculty Suspends
Morning Classes
In a lengthy faculty meeting late
last night, it was decided to discon
tinue all morning classes during the
remainder of the Human, Relations
Institute, starting Monday.
Classes will begin at li o'clock, fol
lowing the morning session of the In
stitute. Frosh Win Fight
To End Chapel
Freshman assembly will be discon
tinued for the remainder of the school
year, it was announced yesterday.
Thi3 proclamation came as a result
of continual protests from freshman
classes during the past 25 years. Cer
tain administrative sources revealed
that freshman chapel may be com
pletely abolished in the future.
C.W. Gilmore Signed For CPU
Egg-Rolling Contest April 9
Orator
Charles W. Gilmore, who has ac
quired a world-wide reputation as a
journalist -and bull-shooter since his
"student" days at the University, has
agreed, after much urging, to speak
on a Carolina Political imion platform
here in connection with an egg-rolling
contest planned by the union.
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Our Humble Suggestions For
FIGUREHEADS
lot the
POLITICAL
PARTIES
Student Portv
-
Woodhouse Throws Support
To Popular Campus Mender
GRIDDERS SEER
SCHOLASTIC LEVEL
OF PRO LEAGUE
Council Has Very,
Very, Very Stormy
Session; Bravo!
Holding a stormy meeting in WooIt
len gym last night, the University
athletic council voted to withdraw the
Carolina football team from the. Sou
thern conference next fall and enter it
in the National professional football
league.
"The Southern conference does not
maintain our ideas of amateurism in
college athletics," a member of the
council, who pref ered to remain anony
mous, said after the meeting. "Enter
ing the National league has long been
one of our main objectives. We wanted
Carolina to enter a league which at the
same time would give it both ample
competition and adhere to our rigid
standards of sportsmanship and ama
teurism.
"The council meeting Was very heat
ed, and it was not until the fifty-fifth
ballot that we finally decided to affiliate
. (Continued on page three)
Coeds Requested
To Lay Eggs On
YMCA Office Desk
Carolina Political Union chairman
Voit Gilmore announced yesterday
that his brother, Charles Wordsworth
Gilmore, prominent University alum
nus, will deliver the next CPU address
in conjunction with the egg-rolling
contest to be sponsored by the union
April 9.
C. W. Gilmore was former chief
stooge of the Daily Tab Heel. He
is now on the executive board of the
Associated Press, head of .the United
Press foreign service bureau, circula
tion manager of the Hearst papers,
and ace police reporter for the At
lanta Constitution, "covering mur
ders, suicides, wrecks, hold-ups, as
saults, fighting drunks, drunks in the
gutter, just plain drunks, bund-meetings,
riots, and minor disturbances of
(Continued on page two)
Independent
HiliVirtually w
Sure Of Victory;
Opponents Gloomy
Campus politices suddenly found it
self in the midst of a bombshell yester
day when Dr. E. J. Woodhouse, class
room politician and occasional dabbler
in the higher art of vote-chasing, "said
he would to bat, hook, line and sinker,"
for the cause of liberty, justice, equal
ity, and democracy by espousing "the
forgotten man of statesmanships-Boss
Hill."
The startling announcement brought
grave forebodings to the constituents
of Jimmy Davis and Bill Pearson,
would-be student body presidents, who
are already active in the promised land
of the two quadrangles. For, Professor
Woodhouse revealed he would throw
the full weight of the Carolina Political
Union, the American Student Union,
the Undergraduate Philosophy club,
and the Venidas Peace group behind
Hill, who is widely known as a mender
extraordinary of holey pants.
PEOPLES'S CHOICE
The political science professor said
further that he might induce President
Roosevelt to write an endorsement of
Hill, who he described as "the people's
choice, Ihe only democratic selection."
Written endorsements of Doc Helms
and Sam Green have already been se
cured. - Hill's candidacy was announced
sometime ago, along with that of
Vaughn Winborne for vice-president of
the student body on the same meal
ticket. The campus promptly forgot
both, however. Dr. Woodhouse vehem
ently stated he would not "sit idly by
and see a miscarriage of justice." He
rushed to defense of "a forgotten man"
in fifth district Congressional elections
last fall and the man is still forgotten.
Dr. Woodhouse promised a grade of
"A" to any of his students who would
"stand by me in this hour of crisis, this
hour of crying need for democracy to
prevail on a campus saturated by auto
cracy, bureauocracy, and plutocracy."
Freshmen Leaders
Will Meet Today
All important members of the
freshman class are urged to attend
an imperative session at 10 o'clock
this morning in room 213 of Gra
ham Memorial. Business that must
be completed today will be before
the members for discussion.
tHOUSE REPORTED
TO BE IN LINE
FOR PRESIDENCY
General Shake-Up
In Administration
Is Anticipated
President Frank P. Graham resign
ed from the University late last night
to accept President Roosevelt's ap
pointment to the governorship of
Porto Rico.
Graham, who has previously been
mentioned for the island governor's
post, had been appointed to a com-
A telegram was received by the
Daily Tab Heel late last night
from David Clark, editor of the
North Carolina Textile Bulletin,
who expressed regrets upon learn"
ing that his life-long friend, Frank
Graham, had decided to leave the
University. Clark added that this
was the greatest loss the Greater
University had ever received.
mission to investigate educational con
ditions in Porto Rico. He will con
tinue to serve on this group and will
leave with them Thursday, but will
take over his new post upon his ar
rival there.
Dean of Administration R. B. House
will take over the president's duties
until the Board of Trustees names
Graham's successor.
HIDDEN POWER
Miss Katherine Lackey, often spok
en of as the 'power behind South
building,' will accompany ' President
Graham to Porto. Rico. '
Although many members 6i the ad
ministration had formerly declared
that Dr. Graham would never leave
the University, it is believed that con
stant pressure from Washington and
Charlotte finally forced him to resign.
Following close upon' the heels of
Graham's resignation came an out
break of rumors concerning a general
shake-up in the administration staff.
One' source "has reported that R. B.
Madry, director of the University
news bureau, mav Kprnmp rinnt-rnllo-r
of the University, an office unoccupied
since C. T. Woollen's death. The same
source added that Jake Wade, sports
editor ; of the Charlotte Observer,
would take Madry's place as news bu
reau editor.
NEW PLANS
One usually reliable informant stat
ed that since Dean House would like
ly become President of the University,
Dean F. F. Bradshaw would become
dean of administration and that Fred
Weaver would replace Bradshaw as
dean of students.
Deans House, Spruill, Hobbs, Car
( Continued on page two)
Sometime
Shown above is an' artist's concep
tion of Voit Gilmore, prominent Uni
versity senior, as he will appear at
midnight on March 4, 1960. The artist
is Mr. Shorty Hoenig, foreman of
the Orange Art shop.
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