LM J
SF
The fflrlsl nwpapr of the Publication Board et th OnWrrs!ty of North
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vsicatuin period, and the Rummer terms. Entered as second-class matter at
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Vrrs. Tbe AacUtcd Press und AP features are exclusively- entitled to the
U i for republlcwtioq of all new and features published herein.
i'duor - DICK JENHETTE
.ni4 hUrutor ... ... C. B. MENU EN HALL
Vluriuvtn V.iilcrr
4'frfrfi iff it or
S'diforutt Sta: Charlie Olrvrt. Tom Wharton. Wink Locklalr, Bill Kellam,
Don t.nrovhtrw, Juttrny "Rutherford. John Stump, Vestal TayldK T .
fitwj itajJT fcoy barker. Jr.. Zane, Kobblns, faul Johnson, Sam MtKeei, Wui
Newel), Lion Maynard. Hotfe Nelll. Caroline Bruner, Bob Henriessee, Graham
Jo'w-t. Clnn Harden.
JhTrifTeifj .'.tall: 6Iiver Wutkm. d Wilbjms.-Neal. Cadieu, June Crockett. Don.
St.inford. bootsy Taylor.' Bill Brain, Frank Daniels; Rutft DcrmlA, Evalyn Harri
son, Lian Kobson. Xu'n Senders, Peggy Sheridan, Kodney Taylor, Marie Withers.
Margaret Garrett. Ifoward Tickle.
opv'i ) J ( j iii v oimiuii, 'veil uai tviii vv vimpiusMii mm - . -
Lurry fox. Vic Goldbtr?. Art Oreenbaum, Billy Peacock, John ' Poindexter,
rr.Afa CMS C.nLr ilUinM T V -CAaffn
Biff Rooerts.. Jvnrj Shenil. r.be Smith.
Vurten,
'si'ijt hhutogTaynrt .....I.. ... .x.4.
Praise for Lenoir
Provide a person1 with a good thing long enough and he
will eventually demand something better. Angels, for all we
know, may now be demanding jet propulsion. Supply man
with loaves .and fishes for any length of time, and he'will
begin to hint for Worcestershire sauce.
Conveniently located in the middle of our campus, with
in a five-minute gallop from any classroom, is one of the
finest eating establishments of its kind in the State. It feeds
thousands daily at a nominal cost to the diner, and it pro
vides a good variety of substantial food.
i
However, for weeks just before the holidays it was the
target and whipping-boy for every one who couldn't find a
better Kigmy. .
JThey looked up the financial records, they .sought out
mquse tracks in the sauerkraut barrel and they even inferred
that the management was drumming up trade for the local
laundry because it expdctsUejrtudeht workers to wear clean
ciuines. in iaci, mere is naraiy
hasn't been attacked.
In spite of all this, however, it would be difficult to find
a healthier-looking, better-fed student body.
Now there must be hidden reason for all this .crying,
since anyone who would scrutinize the kitchens of the town
restaurants or almost any restaurants would find, we're sure,
quite as many roaches, mouse tracks, and economic injustices
as they claim exist in Lenior Hall.
After years.br. research, (devoted hio'stly to easing in the,
plate) there is,' in our opinion, one fact chiefly responsible
forlall this screaming. Man does not like to stand in line for
anything, (except money) and most of all he dislikes to line
up for his food.
While he stands there shifting from foot to foot, from hip
to hip with his stomach growling for attention, and a dozen
or so Johnny-Come-Latelies crowding in line in front of him,
all manner off hell-fire and damnation erupts in his mind,
and he'll even denounce the music which he can't hear for
the competition afforded bv the smm-sl
There are not enough hours in the day to supply table-
waiter service to all thpsp thrmcanrlc cm 'n, t,
to attend classes. The solution to the problems of these
ivory-chopping groaners, we feel, lies in keeping a cool head
during this critical waiting period. Conquer this and you
whip your problem.
Bill Heitman
We
i ; By Robert
The saga of our lives, and
our ego begins, invariably, with
the usual blessed event. The
stork arrives and we are flung
into this vale of tears and mock
ing laughter, unasked, and by
either accident or design. The
doctor, with no compassion and
with; a total lack of considera
tion for our inability to strike
back, whangs the hell out of
our rosy bottom; and in doing
so pounds the first rivet into
the infernal machine that is
eventually to destroy out ego
and ourselves. ifr. '.
. So we grow up an"d "attain
grammer school. Our parents
rave at us; our teachers rave
and rant at us; policemen yell
at us; and, the little boy across
the- street trounces the living
be-jesus out of us for no ap
parent reason. Our carefully
built i egotism begins to sag a
bit the seams and we reach
the final murky depths of desy
valentine in the waste-basket,.
We- $re unwanted, unworthy,
and ' j unimportant but, we
strUifle on.
We!, reach high school. More .
teachrrs; more rahtings; more
ravini- The beautiful brunette
in the second row throws us
over for a very obnoxious foot
ball player. We discover that
devilish hold-over from the in-quip?Uon-the
mirror. And with
it, tea thousand blemishes, and
a ew-lkk that the United Na
tieiw themselves couldn't settle.
W Vithely puff at our first
cifar and become -violently ill
pair, when the shining blonde .'rooms l-aiid clfcsrooms.begin to .manager ' of "The? Student
in the second row throws our sink into our already' 'duU minds:- Prince" which, for the umpteen-
CHUCK HAUSEK
BILLY CAftMICHAEL. XU
Lew Chapman, Joe B. Cherry.
Peacock, John Foindexter,
aylot, Ronald TiUey, Buddy
Andy T;
....... James- A..- Mill
a xning aDOUX me place xnai
Quit!
B. Tucker
behind the garage. Our parents
not only hate us. they 'don't :
understand us. We'.d6bp a'little
more eacn aay as me little devil
with the blunt axe takes another
swing at the foundations of our
egotism. "
We laboriously attain college
age and are admitted to the be
wildering ivy-clad halls of one
of the country's institutions of
higher learning. Then we defi
nitely discover that stupidity is
not the exclusive possession of
our enemies and lost girl friends.
We- shrink into back rows in
class, dreading the inevitable
quest for information from the
fiendish professor, and silent
ly hating the bright boys in the
first row. The beautiful red
head in the second row deserts
us for a fraternity man with a
Cadillac, and we sink another
notch.
Then certain terrible facts
The 'human body U 9&
water."
"According to the atomic
LFJSSKi S&t
space.
"Your size, thape and
general appearance are de
termined by genes, which
are inherited."
"The solor system is 100.
OOUghl years from edge to
edge: roughly, 7 septilUon
mUes." (Man U S feet, 10
inches UD.)
To hell wid. it.: We quit.
; oYerheaiyi in dormitories, rarest. - phone rang. It was the- stage
Pitching
Morscshoo
by
- Billy Rose
Ordinarily, knowing what edi
tors expect of me, I don't de
vote much space in this column
to stories of faith, devotion-a'nd
other such unhep subjects. How
ever,' I bumped into a yarn the
ether night that'did nice things ":
to my spine, and here 'tis, -even
though it's as corny as .&s chorus
of, "Hearts and' Flowers. .
...Some years ago, a dancer -named
Jean Armstrong (note
to. Ed. that's, her. square
monicker and she's given me -r
permission to use it) . .came
down with a ruptured appen
dix, and by the time they got. "
her to the hospital, peritoni
tis had set in and the doctors
didn't give her much chance.
The following day, the nurse
handed her a string of rosary
beads. "A little girl tried to get
in to see you this morning," she -said.
"Her name was Sylvia, and
she said her mother was a
friend of yours. When I told her
you couldn't be disturbed, she
asked me. to give you this. It
has a St. Chirstopher medal on it.
and the kid thought it might
bring you luck."
The dancer wasn't a Catholic,
but she was touched by the
present anyhow. And six weeks
later, thanks to faith or the
new sulfa drugs, she was out
of the hospital.
From then on, she kept the
rosary in her make-up-box, but
a couple of years later, after a
Sper w .
the beads no longer seemed very
important. And one day, when
one. of the girls in her vaude
ville unit asked about the St.
Christopher medal, Jean said,
"It's nothing at all. Just a piece
of old junk. I don't know why
I keep on carrying it."
That Sunday, when the
troupe checked into a Balti
more hotel, Jean put the
make-up case on top of her
valise and. signed the regis- ;
ter. "but when she "reached
for her luggage the case was
gone. She notified the desk
and, when that didn't pro
duce results, reported the loss
lo the police. But when the
unit pulled out of Baltimore
on Saturday night, neither
case nor beads had been found.
In Pittsburgh the next week,
the show got bad notices and
folded, and as if that weren't
enough, the manager skipped
with the salaries. A few days
laer down toher'last three
bucks, Jean tcbnsidered herself
plenty lucky when a local a
gent offered her a job in a Mi
ami nightclub. She was given a
ticket car 16, berth No. 1 on
the 7:22 out of Pittsburgh.'
At 7 o'clock the dancer left
the hotel, but a couple of blocks
from the depot she noticed
something on the sidewalk and
picked it up. It was a string of
rosary beads and, attached to it,
a medallion of St. Christopher.
Jean didn't know then and
she doesn't know now, wheth
er it ' was the same rosary.
She did know, however, that
it looked exactly like the one
the little girl hadsenl her.
except1 for .one thing the
chain had been broken. As
she continued onto the sta
tion, she got lo thinking of
the beads- how sick she had
; been when Sh4 first got them,
and how her troupe had been
stranded when she had re
ferred to the medallion as a
piece of old junk. And sud
denly it seemed important to
get the chain fixed.
Up the street there was a
combination hock shop-jewelry
store and, forgetting" the " 7:22,'
she walked in. The jeweler
worked as fast as he could, but
when he handed the rosary back
to her the clock said 7:30, and
the dancer knew she was out
of a job again.
With less than a dollar in her
purse, she went back to the ho
tel, and a few minutes later the
th time, was playing be. Nborn
Theatre. "Heard your troupe
was, stranded, he said. "One of
our dancers is getting married
tonaorrow, and ifypuant to
And now for as corny a finish
as ever found its way into a so
called hep column. When Jean
picked up a newspaper the next
morning, she saw that the 7:22
out of Pittsburgh had been side
swipped by a freight car. It
wasn't much of . a wreck no
body had teen hurt because
the two berths which were bash-
ed in happened to be empty.
-. . '. . . i . . . -v -..-
v n
lAq fit 7MW
Btrtrtbnted by Kins Feature Syndlcata
6 arrantresnent with Th Waahicetoa Star
Ah-ha, 1950! Now that holi
day survivoi-s are feeling about
as half-dead as this century,
here are a few suggested New
Year's resolutions for some of
the famous and some the in
famus folk about campus.
Resolved by Hans Freidstat:
As always, -to make any letters
toi the TH sa amusing that no
one eantell Whether his re-
MARX are really Karl's or ; cannot compete with the ar
Groucho's. tival of: -
Resolved by Julia McHenry, ? ; i Henry Parker Brandis III
Barbara Mclntyer, and Mary !i Weight: 6 lbs.
Angelyn McNease: To stay live- . Tax Exemption: Federal $600;
ly and lovely enough to drive ;J;J State $150."
all the boys to Scotch. v 4 :Resolved by the Chapel Hill
Resolved by Sam B. Jolly,
Miss Noire Dame Smith,
Frank Giarffe. Betsy Ross,
and Johnny Walker: s Not to
commit justifiable homicide on
the next person to make a
pun on their names.
Resolved by all those who
are Universale: To make
these dates on the calendar
for the winter quarter. . .
Resolved by a few more South
Building domos: To follow one
popular exec's precedent of
keeping all his secretaries
healthy and happy by ordering
them to Now do not get worri
ed, Mrs. Lanier take two half
hour breaks a day to escape the
Drew Pearson Special
inside Debate On
Here is the inside story of
what happened at the all-important
White House conference
last week called to discuss the
crisis in the Far East." Presi
dent Truman himself presided
over the meeting and seemed
just as anxious as the military
to do something about the
strategic island of Formosa.
The meeting -began with a
presentation by the Chief of
Staff, Gen. Omar Bradley, and
Undersecretary of Defense Steve
Early. They pointed out that
General MacArthur had urgent
ly cabled Washington on the'
subject of Formosa and recom
mended the use of both U. S.
troops and naval vessels to
block an invasion of Formosa
by thf Chinese. Reds. It was
'further, recommended that a
...large amount of money be im
mediately made available to the
Chaing Kai-Shek group to speed
the protection of Formosa.
Bradley read a memo from
MacArthur in which he ex
pressed the opinion that the
United. States, should., take
title to Formosa and protect
it with American troops
from Japan. MacArthur jus
tified this on the ground that
there has .been no Japanese
peace treaty as yet; there
fore, Formosa technically
icould still be kept in Ameri
occupation duty SO . -a z
Putting It On The Record
Chollie's Follies
Hapfby News Year!
. By Charlie Gibson
office for snacking and socializ
ing. ,
. Resolved by the Law School:
To congratulate their Dean
Henry Brandis who announced
a special occasion last quarter
with the following blackboard
notice (so clever that it merits
printing even this late): "The
class in Taxation 1 will not meet
today due to - the fact that it
f Transit Company: To keep their,
' ,rer buses running on a schedule
that can be calculated by us non-
iisteinian intellects, but to
speed up the timing so that
drivers will not have-to stretch
every thirty-minute trip into a
i. teil-mile-an-hour" sight seeing
! tciiir of cynic Carrboro.
Resolved by Tarnation:"" To
skip the following two jokes
when plagiarizing for the next
big issue. . .No. 1, overheard at
one of the hometown-Carolina
Club's Christmas dance "Isn't
that girl over there ugly in that
ultra low-cut dress?" "Not as far
as I can see!". . .No. 2, "Do you
know my daughter May?" "No,
can hands as part of its oc-
cupalion duty toward Japan.
Secretary of State Acheson
; sat calm and relaxed through
this discussion which seemed to
impress President Truman.
Acheson Argues .
When the other side had fin
ished, however, Acheson opened
up with a few blunt facts. He
pointed out that Formosa was
not like Greece, where the Tru
man doctrine had been success
ful in suppressing Communism.
He read detailed reports show
ing' that Formosa was a tiny,
overpacked island, full of dissi-
dent; elements, and that, while
' Japan had mistreated the For-
niosan people for more than 30
.;years, the Formosans hated the
Chinese even more.
For, when the Chinese reoc-
cupied Formosa in 1945, they
instituted a reign of terror worse
- than anything ever seen in Ger
; many. Aeheson said he thought
i it would be most unwise for 'the
United States to dispatch men
? into .i a chaotic situation where
a Arojan-horse revolt at any
jtime could end the last drop of
1 Chinese resistance.
I j Acheson also opposed sending
military staff support to China
f and condemned the idea of an
American military man to run
China's defenses. He pointed out
, tjiat Roosevelt had tried to do
thii, that Ambassador Hurley
I didn't but thanks for the tip."
Resolved by us DTH column
nists: Somehow to find some
one else who deserves as much
praise for continuous good work
as Bill Friday. . .To give the
printers kredit for all mispelled
wirds. . .To continue to keep
Bett Dixon's secret about her
coming out of the movie "My
Friend Irma" laughing so hard
at the dumb heroine's walking
into a manhole that she herself
stepped off the curb smack-dab
into a knee-deep mudhole. . .
To easily manage, to awkwardly
spilt enough infiinitives to often
get disparigingly mentioned in
English classes.
Thank you-, at least, Fred
Coker, for reading this far into
all the left-overs of ' columns
that yours unruly was merciful
enough not to write last quar
ter. You asked for it!
January 16 Playmakers present
Margaret Webster's production
of "Twelfth Night" and "Othel
lo". . .January 31 - February 2
Carolina Forum presents Elea
nor Roosevelt as the Weil Lec
turer. . .Last week in January or
first week in February first
Campus Chest drive. . .February
10-12 YM and YWCA's mid
winter Montreat Retreat.
Formosa
had recommended it, and that
General Stilwell had attempted
it. But it had failed even when
the Chinese nationalists still had
the mainland. He asked, there
fore, how it was possible to
defend China now when there '
was very little left to defend.
Acheson informed the se
curity council that Briiian
would recognize China in
about a week, and that Britain
also would support Red China
for a . seat on the security
council of the United Nations.
Once the Chinese secured U.
Nf recognition, Acheson
warned, they will have every
right to bring the United
State before the council, on t,
charges of aggression if we t
occupy Formosa. - - -It's
a question of just how
important the island of Formosa
is to us, Acheson said, in effect,
and whether it is important
enough to send an army for its
defense. He added: "I don't
. think so."', v (
; . WereHawaii in jeopardy, the
situation would be different, he
said.
Acheson also pointed out that
the Chinese Communists may
decide not to attack the island
after they get the rest of China
consolidated, particularly if they
are aware that they will face
stubborn resistance, reinforced
by , military advice and some
supplies from the United States.
DREW PEARSON
ON
WASHINGTON (
MERRY-GO-ROUND
MS
WASHINGTON. HoUest
problem facing Congressional
leaders as 'they got back to
Washington was how to pre
vent another Parnell Thomas
kickback scandal.
This will be a major topic
at a secret meeting of the House
Republican steering committee
early next week. House GOP
Leader Joe Martin will tell his
lieutenants that house Republi
cans must immediately rid their
payrolls of any nonworking em
ployees who draw salaries from
the taxpayers.
Also, he will do some blunt
talking about members who
bring disgrace upon them
selves and their party by .
accepting kickbacks. Martin
himself has set an excellent
example in keeping his pay
roll honest. Since coming to
Congress he has never had f
a relative or a nonworking
employee in his office, and
last year he refused to hire
an extra $3,000-a-year clerk
authorized by Congress, on
the ground that the extra
clerk wasn't needed.
Speaker Sam Rayburn and
Majority Leader John McCor
mack also will privately warn
House Democrates who have
been chiseling on the taxpayers
to clean up their payrolls pronto.
Photoing the Russians
The Russians have their own
way of keeping an eye on
American officials in Moscow.
Some time ago, Maj. Gen. John
W. O'Daniel, U. S. military at
tache in Moscow, was watching
a gala military parade which
included a flight by the Red
Army's latest planes. He was
anxious to know, more about
these planes, sso, leaning half
way out of his office window,
he took a series of pictures.
What General O'Daniel didn't
know, however, was that across
the street Russian cameramen'
caught him in the act. And the
newsreels they took of him tak
ing pictures of Russian planes
are to be featured in Soviet
theatres as an illustration of
so-called American espionage;
Note Recent;. U. S. "Spy" .
trails have shown that the FBI
has used the same tatics in
watching the Soviet embassy on
16th street namely, placing
cameras in a building just
across the street.
Congressional Prediction '
Privately, leaders agree that
the second session of the 81st
Congress will set no records for
productivity or progressive leg
islation. It will be a , cautious
session, with both parties play
ing politics up to the hilt and
striving to keep their skirts
clean for the November elec
tion. There will be a lot of shout
ing about civil rights with an
eye on November but nothing
enacted into law except, possib
ly, the anti-poll tax bilh This
has already passed the House
and needs only Senate approval.
The Fair Employment
Practices Bill, hottest of the
ACROSS
1. Possesses
4. Soft food
7. Coast
12. Beverage
14. Town in Maine 42. Spanish title
i.i. snort siac-p
16. Workeil out
carefully
IS. Oil of rose
43. Unrefined
47. Salutation
4S. Dfcais out
sparingly
49. Chinese pasroda
petals
20. Hub of a.wheel 50. Social affair
21. Kauai
51. Make eyes
22.. Existed
23. Mineral spring
26. Source of ore
2S. Tardier
30. Pad -
C2. Sober
i. urge
53. Tree
DOWN .
1. Ancient goblet
2. Winged
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AP Newjfeoiire
X
civil-rights measures, also
will pas the House, but
Senate foes are prepared to
filibuster it lo death. Thus,
Northern Democrat can
boast in the - next campaign
that they were able to get this
hot potato through one House
of Congress, while Southern
; Democrat can boast about .
killing it in the other.
The Republicans ' are strictly
in the middle on this one and
can be counted on to outyell
the Democrats in the losing
fight for civil-rights legislation.
However, they are not willing
to revise cloture to back up their
yells. Here's the outlook on
other major issues:
FEDERAL AID TO EDUCA
TION Already passed by the
Senate, this hot potato will be
revamped in the House to meet
Catholic objections. One con
cession will be an amendent
providing bus transporation for
parochial as well as public
school students.
TAXES The House will pass
legislation - increasing, either
corporate income taxes or tax
ing progits, but Senator George
of Georgia and other business
minded colleagues will put up
a stiff battle against, this in
the Senate.
TAFT-HARTLEY REPEAL
Not a chance, despite White
House demands for action. Con
gressional Democrats want to
save this one for an election
issue to use against Republi
cans. Senate and House Requbli
cratic leaders will do some
shadow-boxing for the news
papers, but that's all.
. THE BRANNAN FARM PLAN
No chance. Republicans are
almost solidly against it and
the Democrats are badly split.
Meanwhile farm incomes con
tinue to skid.
FOREIGN AID Some form of
President Truman's - Aid-f or
Backward-Nations (or point 4)
Program will pass, but look, for
a backward shift to isolationism
on Marshall Plan spending. With
income-tax boost sidetracked
and excise taxes repealed, Con
gress will have to look else
where for money to balance
the budget and the likelist
spot will be the European aid
program. It will be cut a billion.
OLEO TAX REPEAL Will
pass, though modified to provide
that colored oleo sold in hotels
and restaurants must be so
labeled.
OTHER ISSUES The im
portant national science founda
tion bill, to coordinate and ex
pand scientific, research, will at
long'last become law. However,
the crystal ball for the second
session of the 81st Congress
holds little hope for public
power and 'health insurance
enthusiasts. Neither the Colum
bia Valley nor the Missouri
Valley "TV A bills" stand a
chance of enactment. The f ed
eral health insurance bill, sav
agely fought ; by the American
Medical Association, is in the
same boat. -
35. Equality - I-H gD N P,jO 1 nTeIS
38. American actor ' A j N E j R iRj A j N j P """f
41.' Masculine ' EfPIPiMEaMr 1 (aISA!
PIA TjEtg6jWgT7ri?
- jlAiSTIylEjsKiAtia
- HEl SIfTwM M?S
T AEMRj lkcA
Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle
Month of the
fall equinox
4. Dock
5. Everything
6. Smoothing
tools
7. Scoop: (1
Let
9. Early English
10. Rodei.t
11. Uncle: Scotch
' -e3-l profesNioa
w 6,1 coverings
-.j. Moisten.
paving stamens
Z4. J-avorite
2o. Exist
on" ynnecessarjr
29. Sun-dried
brick
30. Summit
31. Arabian
, garment
32. Plant
34. Law-making
body
37. Old piece i
of cloth
39. Book of fiction
40. V ision seen
,n s,"?r
. T,owarl shelter,
41. Male deer
13. Artificial
.. 'anffuase
44. Eeg drink
4a. Addition to a
building
'6 Hers
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