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PAGE TWO THE DAILY TAR HEEL SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 10 mytMuHp Max fieri The official newspaper of the Publications Board of the University 'of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where it is published daily during the regular sessions of the University at the Colonial Press, Inc., except Mondays, examinations and vacation periods and during the official summer terms when published semi-weekly. Entered as second class matter at the Post Office of Chapel Hill, N. C. under the act of March 3, 1879. Subscription price: $8 per year. S3 per cuarter. Member of the Associated Press, which is exclusively entitled to the" use for republication-of all news and features herein. Opinions expressed by columnists are not necessarily those of this newspaper. Editor .. ROY PARKER, JR. Executive News Editor CHUCK HAUSER Managing Editor '. -- .- ROLFE NEILL. Business Manager .'. ED WILLIAMS Sports Editor ; I...;... ZANE ROBBINS Staff Photographers Jim Mills, Cornell Wright Neics Staff: Edd Davis. John Noble. Walt Dear. Charlie Brewer, Barrett EouKvare, Stanley Smith. Billy Grimes. ,' Sports Staff: Joe Cherrv, Lew Chapman. Art Greenbaum. Biff Roberts. Bill Peacock. Ken Barton, Harvey Ritch. Dave Waters. Leo Northarx. Eddie Starnes, Bill Huhes. Paul Barwick. Society Staff: Nancy Burgess. Margie Storey. Evelyn Wright, Marvel Stokes, Sarah Gobbel, Lula Overton, Nancy Bates, Helen Boone, Jimmy Eoust. For This Issue: Night Editor, Rolfe Neill Sports. Buddy Northart U. Of Virginia Cavalier Doily. Tome-Tossing In D. C. Sometimes in the course of human events there comes a pause that refreshes, a zany instant when normally serious people take a vacation from solemnity and gather together to do something absolutely ridiculous; Such an occasion was celebrated last week in Washington, when a conclave of learned lawyers, publishers and federal officials met to test the quality of Volume I (A to Anno) of the Encyclopedia Brittanica by tossing it in the air, and observing how hard ;t hit the floor. The tome-tossing, it turns out, was actually carried out in dead earnest, durmg the course of a full-dress legal hearing, presided over with black-robed sobriety by a federal trial examiner, no less. The examiner, the Hon. Clyde M. Hadley, was being asked to rule on charges of unfair advertising levied against one of Brittanica's competitors, the Funk and Wag nalFs New Standard Enclycopedia. j Apparently, the Unicorn Press, which publishes the New Standard, had been bandying it in public print that their volumes were of such compact and handy size that, when dropped, the binding wouldn't smash like the "heavy, un wieldy books" of the competition. The Brittanica people, it seems, had taken this personally, and were out to demon strate the bouncability of their product so conclusively that a federal commission would order the Unicorn Press to cease and desist spreading such malicious gossip. As reported by Fred Othman in The Washington News, the hearing was conducted with judicial thoroughness: "Marcus Miller, attorney for the Unicorn, opened defense by insisting that it was logical that a small book would suf fer less -damage when dropped than a big one. The commis sion called in Paul E. Seaman, of New York, eastern sales manager for Brittanica, with his big, fat Volume I under his arm. "Seaman dropped his tome five feet, as if from a book shelve. Then he slid it off a desk, like from a reading table. He also tried several other methods of dropping it and then said: "There are no other ways you can drop it. Well, unless I throw it up in the air and let it come down." "Try it," snapped Jesse Kash, attorney for the commission. . Seaman took a deep breath and a hefty swing and snapped Volume I skyward. Examiner Hadley et al. cringed and the book smashed to the floor. Seaman recovered it quickly. "This book is still solid," he cried triumphantly, "but the . corners are a little dented." There's something homely and practical about the whole procedure, and it holds out bold promise for a whole new school of literary criticism. If the Seaman-Kash-Hadley technique takes hold and these days who's to say it won't artistic appreciation will at least be simplified. Grav ity and wind resistance, as criteria, would certainly have a workability - which such antiquated yardsticks as character and plot can scarcely matqh. Furthermore,' all the well equipped libraries would be a wind tunnel, a bathroom scale, and for discriminating criticism of metaphysical and mod ernist verse volumes a particularly high ceiling. What a progressive age we live in! Even if its corners are a little dented. Princeton PrinceroniaiV Watch Your Drinks, Gals , We read with alarm the small item copped from The Daily Texan. .earlier this week. The cause of the alarm is that scientists have proved that ladies may wear their drinks as well as feel them. Furthermore, we firmly believe that this serious situation merits careful consideration, along -with the foreign crisis, the phone strike, National Cat Week, and the proposed institution of National Mouse Week. Scientifically speaking, the situation is this: the flush that dyes faces at parties is usually pure Martini. Scientists have proved this with their Gieger counters and the depth of color in the flush depends on how much carbon is in the cocktail. A. J. Garrett, member of the scientific staff of the Festival of Britain, said, "We have found that the Martini you drink is actually part of the cells of your face in less than one hour." The result of this discovery is obvious careful and discriminating women will start selecting their drinks so that this dreaded flush which follows imbibing will match the delicate shades of their cocktail gowns. How is this going to effect Princeton, and the nation, and what cah.be done about it? 1 -. ,.i ';. We would hate to see the beloved Mart' disappear for ever, and,' therefore, we suggest that the Bureau of Student Aid and Employment immediately begin selling special make up kits which will hide the "dreaded flush." Special cocktail party eye-glasses could also be sold, thus helping to alleviate the Bureau problem of job scarcity. ' For the chemistry majors, the solution to, the problem is obviously a new concoction. It will taste and look like the old Mart and have the same feffects, but the carbon content vill be nil. Eat, drink, and be merry girls, but remember you're wearing that drink. WdMPLUS V by Harry Snook" Say sex and many people think you mean promiscuity And sometimes when you use ' the word .you do implyN promis cuity. On rare occasions you use sex in its prosaic sense to indi--: cate gender, such as male or fe males. But mostly you use sex to mean a general relationship between males and females. , At least this is true of me.-'-', There is plenty of basis,; though, for thinking of sex in terms of promiscuity in these hectic modern times. We hear so much more about sex than ever before. What:with commu- . nication bein? as fast and cheap as it is, sex is in the public eye constantly. But when the moral-mongers holler that we humans are de generating into a completely licentious state, J ?et my dander up in a hurry. It just isn't true. We are not degenerating at all. A few excursions iato certain history books and a little obser vation of what's going on to day convince me that human beings are at a moral zenith regardless of how low that zen ith may be. Compared to -our ancestors of the distant past, we are, by ideal standards, par agons of virtue. The. Scythians, for example, had their women in common. And they had a reason for the practice. By pooling all the women for the use of the men, they felt (hat they might all be brothers and none would have hatred nor envy toward any other. Among the Iroulas of India, however, there was a restriction even though every woman be longed to all the men in a tribe. Relations with a person of another easte or class was strictly taboo. Some African tribes and even some present day Eskimo tribes believe in temporarily exchang ing wives and lending wives to visitors. The custom is practical in one respect. If a man plan ning a trip has a wife with child, he may exchange her for one who would", not add extra hardships to the trip. Group .marriage represented another advance over unrestrict ed sex promiscuity. As an illus tration of how a group marriage works, twelve men of one group marry twelve women of another group. No individual man has any particular wife, and each man has an equal share of each of the twelve women. Everyone has heard of the oriental harem, with its one sultan and many wives. But few people seem to know that there have been many cases of poly andry, where one woman may have several husbands. There was that, magnificent era when chivalry was both an ideal and a practice. This was the time of knights in shining armour and honour! The ladies were clad in silken raiment," and of virtuous demeanor.. And the practice of courtly love reach ed a golden height. All the history I have read indicates a steady moral growth on the part of human kind. From unrestricted promiscuity of ancient times, man has climb ed to his present position of reg ulated monogamy. To be sure, monogamy is not the strict system it has been, as a glance at the divorce statistics shows. -But this doesn't mean that man is slipping into a state . of licentiousness. At most it merely indicates that man is adjusting monogamy to suit circumstances. For instance, monogamy . in . the recent past -has., meant that s 'one man -was stuck- with one 1 wOman regardless of how un suited to each other they might be. The divorce laws of today provide -a remedy for mistakes. And this, in turn, makes a mon ogamous society even stronger. The principal point is that we humans are not degenerating. We started at the bottom and the only way we can go is nip. "Going To Coll On Him For A Post-Election Speech? Tar Heel At Large by Robert Ruarks MEMPHIS I hope none of my Beale Street friends will accuse me of playing ttie dozens as a result of this piece and jump salty, wig off and blow, because I am not strictly a Cold Nose Joe. I have merely consulted with Prof. Nat Wil liams, the unofficial mayor of the fabled thoroughfare on how its denizens speak these days, which seems to be sharp as a carp, or noth ing but fine. Mr. Williams is the first Negro with sufficient courage, in these parts, to attempt a career as a disc-jockey, and in his spare time he teaches at Booker Ty Washington High School. Been doing it for about 20 'years teaching, I mean, t I know well that when you grin, your're in, and you better pout and stay out, which means that if you laugh somebody comes along your head, which means a bust in the snoo, and not even cousins play the dozens. So I will explain the dozens. It is a sport peculiar to this portion of the South. When you are playing the dozens, cat, you are standing on a corner knocking somebody's relatives, mainly female. "Big Boy" is a "dozens" word. Professor Williams describes it thus: "When you call a man Big Boy from the gravel pits you are saying that he is a country man of pretty low economic status and his mama ain't nowhere. This is a fighting piece from Memphis to Detroit." Beale Street has developed a" slang today that is a distant cast from the old, high-rolling years when Beale, Rampart and Basin were the prin cipal sin spots of the delta. Nobody on Beale today or few folks, at least could define an "easy rider" for you. An easy rider used to be a big ol' buck gambling man. The new talk is one part jive, one part cock ney thieves' jargon, and one part pure Negro inspiration. - For instance, a lad does not tell his lass he will see her in the morning. "I got to knife on out,' he will say. "I will dig you in the early bright, baby." "Knife on out" is asynonym for "It got to, cut," which means leave. You could never use "sweet man" today as a definition for a fellow who derives his liveli hood from shady .ladies. A pander, is delicately defined as a gent who is "puttin' on a silght hustle." A cop is "roach." When a Beale Street bravo says, "Man, you better reach for your Cook's ( Kill," it means the cops are imminent. Cook's Kill is a local insecticide. One cat will approach another cat in the shank of the evening and remark: "Say, man, what's happening?" He is not seeking informa tion, but is merely saying hello. The answer is "Ain't nothin' shakin'." Money on Beale Street now is "ends.". Comes from "making ends meet." Twenty-five cents is a "rough." A dime is a "deese." When a man is busy talking and a bore horns in, the Beale Street boy remarks, simply: "Later for you." Then all his friends slap their thighs and say: "Man, you sure did gas that guy." When you gas a guy you got him. He just got to cut. When a sharp chick comes down the street, quivering gently the solid way a chick can shake, all the boys lean back and murmur: "Ahhhh, but It is . . ." If her four-eyed, box ankled sister follows in her wake, they lean forward and snarl: "Ahhhh, but it ain't." Let's say a. cat is looking low. Another tat comes by and says "Come on man, let's peck on that rock." First cat says: "I ain't nowhere." This means that one boy has suggested that the other boy go to work, and the other boy just ain't up to it. He ain't got no eyes. That means he can't see it, or just plain won't do it. Well, take it easy, mule I mean man. I am just another square from nowhere, and whatever I had in mind was nothing but fine. WelHlll, ALL right, and sometmes I wonder whether jazz had to be born. Th e Guest Box (Peter Dor emus of The Cavalier Daily oj the University of Virginia proves in the following article that sex is also a popular" subject on the U-Va. campus. Ed ) - Sex and sicence have assumed increasingly important roles in modern life during the past several years. Man's sex life has undergone ex tensive investigation by the scientists, but now it seems even the creatures of the sea are facing a scientific probing which seeks to learn about their private affairs. , For "after a year of study the University of California at Los Angeles has come up with the discovery 'that lobsters are true to their wives. According to this university's Kinsey Report on the sex life of the lobster, the male lobster clings brily to. one female" and "guards her vigorously from bachelor lobsters. y t. .'. The investigation showed, however, that the clawey creature makes ho attempt to protect his better half from other fish who may have wolfish inclinations. It has not "yet been determined by the researchers whether this lobster disinclina tion to -guard his wife from other fishish eyes causes a loss of morals among the corals. Nor have the scientists found out whether any af fairs between the female of this sea species of the crawfish and other predatory water wolves ha Ve produced any unusual offspring. . Some speculation has arisen; in scientific .cir cles concerning the results of a sexular union between a female lobster and an octupus. Others are wondering what sea animals have the great est tendencies to molest the wives of the male lobsters. A few nautical scholars contend that the shark reveals the most inclinations to chase the attractive creatures of the oceanic world. Dr. Theodore Bullock, the man who is doing for the lobster what Kinsey is doing for human beings, explained that the survey was being con ducted because the. birth rate ' among lobsters was toolow. He said his findings might give rise o a cheaper and;more-constantsupply of lob sters for dinner. No reports have been received from the objects of ; Dr. Bullock's investigation -giving their reaction to this plan to increase lob liter output in order to glorify man's dinner table. - Other, important questions about the lob ster's love life are when it mates, where-it lays its eggs, and -where it goes afterward. It has been learned that their habits depend on the tempera ture, of the water. An electronic recorder showed that activity increased as the water got warmer. One question which remains to be answered in piecing together the puzzle of the lobster's sex life is the position of the bachelor belonging to this species. Since he cannot interfere with married lobsters without expecting a clawed on slaught from the husbands, it is possible that he is forced to seek out other female fish with whom to carry on love affairs. The Editor's Mailbox 'Little Thought, No Research' Editor: It takes little thought and practically no roosarch to , . the government, as Snook's Thursday column so brilli.-.nii trates: Harping on the administration, especially the Ai,;. Division of . the Department of Justice, is a popular pasting people who sell stuff to newspapers, or hope to later. Y. , have to pay much attention to the facts, or to the law i i: Just load your fun with carefully digested A and P jids, ci eyes and pull the trigger. It even makes right fair rc-adiu' Right fair, that is, for folks who like a negative attitu -! had much rather complain about the "government" than d thing about it. It is a whole lot easier to criticize the pi than.sto try and get the law changed. The Justice Depart n not enact the Sherman Anti-trust Act. And the Justice ; ment, though damned by every columnist in the eon: fr , never repeal jt. But then, Thursday's half-baked harangue may have l,. , off-day on purpose for Snook, to provoke comment. If : succeeded. D. A. Willie, Concerning U.N. Day Editor: I would appreciate the courtesy of your column to ,i; acknowledgement which I think is duo to the member- . Campus Committee for U. N. Day. I have just received a very gracious letter from Mayor Lai, Chapel Hill. In it he says, among other things: "Many have said they considered the October 24 pmra .. timely, impressive and effective. Careful planning and i'oi;.,-. through on those plans did provide this community, inekidi., local schools and the University campus, with a dramatic : a. that world peace really depends on 'U. N. and You.' "Dean Brandis tells me that he was ably and faithfu'h a by a fine Steering Committee, numerous individuals and l.v , organization called upon to help in any way. It was a In . monstration of what individuals can accomplish when th-. hands. "For the Town of Chapel Hill I am writing this letter to i you for your help and for your cooperation . . ." I would like to add. my thanks to those of Mayor Lani'-i to compliment the committee .members on the harmonious which they worked together and the quiet zeal and e! k 1 . . with which thy carried out their various assignments. Jim Wilsor Balance Sheet by Phil Newson of the United Press Balance sheet for the . week bc-tween jcod and bad news in the hot and cold wars: Bad News United Nations forces in Korea now are fighting two en emies the Communists and the weather. The temperature on the battlefields has dropped to zero one day it was 20 below and a mechanized army is finding it tough going. The en emy has two advantages; most of his troops are accustomed to that kind of weather and he is not so dependent as our troops are on mechanization. The U.N. assault troops now are equipped with winter clothing but they had a few bad days while they were waiting for their. supply lines to catch up with them. 2. There seems to be no hope cf taking effective counter-action against latest instance of Communist, aggression in Asia the invasion of Tibet by Red Chinese troops. Even if the. United Nations took a stand on Tibet, there would be no prac ticable wiy to enforce its. de cision. Tibet is too inaccessible to nations which have-the troops to make a stand against the Chinese Peds. 3. President Truman pom!"1 nut ri'inin thai vvr ;nc li.-.'hl in the war in Korea with one hah tied behind us. No fine has d vised a formula whereby C'. t Douglas MacArthur can cut ' the supplies and reinforcement for thr Chinese Commum. Army in Korea. Ho would hav to send his brothers over Ci in ese territory and as of now i doesn t want to take the ii-.il starting World War III. Good News 1. We ha-'e maintained a :. but steady advance north-.', n in Korea all week. There n't seem to be any doubt, b;,' that we can defeat the Chine Red armies now in the field, an- able damage to the enemy 4i,,. t-,.. -m ..n , i . Ol U1C IVUllUll-iUUIIUIUI kill i- der. 2. The Chinese Commum are due at Lake Success m weeK. io one is quire sine y- what attitude their deb en' -will taks on the various i .-.--a that will be discussed, bet t: mere fact that they will ! i; raises the hope that some Ol I'Ul 1 lOl Ol ! 1 Will 11,111 Korean war. lvn ytfc G yfyf VVX 4 $,"4 $ J. A . ACROSS I. Kodent 4. Seed coverings &. Snow runner 12. Large bird 13. Abatement I t. Pronoun Talking birds 17. Custom V). i:.isehall team 20. ritimiblti 21. Tliin piece Affairs 2ti. ;arden flower '11. Notes the speed 8. Near 2'J. One of the Siamese twins 30. DniKlod 31. Uiblical king 32. Former universal negative 33. Cor ton fabric for reinforcing books 34. Always 35. Hypnotic states 3J. Signs "S. ( "ommenilable 3'J. 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Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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Nov. 18, 1950, edition 1
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