. -,-, '-. By . Henry Bowers
Presidential "Memo' .
C Faces Probable Suit
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! 1
tlondlized and is not intended to disparage any individual or
individuals who helped to make or break the news during
the eventful years 1951-52. Editor.
The following summary of the.y ear's news is slightly fie- osopher Kant as saying, "I don't
believe nan oi wnat you say,
but I will, defend with my life
your right to say it," and agreed
with Shotts and Currie that the
problem of trash on South Build
ing steps was as yet unsolved.
Dr. Gordon Gray, president
of the Consolidated University
was unavailable for comment,
as he was in Washington xxinning
the national Government.
Meanwhile, the two centers of
controversy were discovered in
a booth at a local bistro sipping
chocolate milkshakes.
Word came to this small vil
lage today that the University
of North Carolina faces a prob
able court suit in regard to dis
crimination against women.
Mrs. C. O. Drearson, Durham
attorney for the Militant Rights
of Women League, said yester
day "by all that's feminist, the
University can't get away with
this. We'll bring a writ of
womandamus and make them
treat those girls like human,
beings.
Mrs. Drearson was referring
to the recent fracas in which
two coeds demanded the right
to be treated as adults.
"A lot of nonsense," assistant
Dean of Women Marcy Denny
averred. "But they're real sweet
girls." ,
"Obviously, the two are
trouble-makers," she. added. "No
other coeds have ever made
such a claim. But they;re real
sweet girls, aren't they?" .
(Meanwhile, the two coeds
had accused "someone in the
Dean's office" of trying to per
suade them td leave the Univer
sity.) .
Student Body President
Arthur Bowers said, "the stu
dent body is insulted. The ad
ministration obviously thinks
the student body is incapable cf
handling, our own problems.
Women have always been our
problem, and we can continue
to handle them." ,
Chancellor Robert House at
first declined to comment, but
after warming up on a few bars
of "a pretty girl is like a mel
ody," said, Students have al
ways been my friends. Where is
Arthur Bowers?"
Bowers retorted promptly, "He
didn't come to me, why should
I go to him?"
-( .
Printer: Please delete above
paragraph of character as'sina
tlon. Judy O' Grady, spokesman for
the Woman's Council was over
heard In informal discussion to
comment grimly, "We believe
in God, country, and the Dean 6f
Women's office. Don't worry,
weH get those girls on the rack
for failure to report them
selves for a 10-minute lateness."
Larry Blotter, natty leader of
the Student Council said softly,
"Well uphold."
ISSss O'Grady, also the pres
ident of a secret night-riding
organization known as the WV
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(V aliant Venom Vivisectionists)
said- meaningfully, "The gong
will never ring for those two,"
Dick Murphy, genial elder
statesman said, "a student is a
student is a student," while stu
dent columnist Tito Farber com
mented in print, "In Yugoslavia,
women work in the coal mines.
Think of the impact of this in
cident on our international re
lations!"
Claude Shotts and Miss Gay
Currie, secretaries of the YMCA
and YWCA heard the question
debated in the joint Y ballet
committee, and commented that
it might be possible to get the
two girls to pick up trash in
the Y court.
A more religious viewpoint
on the issue was heard when
the president of the Interfaith
Council asserted '"You can't
leave God but of this,"
The Phialected Weekly Talk
heard heated debate on the
topic, "Is A Woman A Student?"
and the Student Entertainment
Committee was reputedly try
ing to engage the two women for
a date in 1962 for a panel on the
rights of married women.
Popular Dean of Students
Fred Weaved quoted the phil-
"Just what is it you object to
in the rules?" a Freshman re
porter for The Daily Tar Heel
(student newspaper) asked.
After looking about carefully
to see that there were no mem
bers of the FBI or Coed Resi
dence Board in or under adjoin
ing booths, one of the girls
whispered, "Last Thursday
night, I wanted to take a drink
with my boy friend. But we
didn't have any ice in the car
so we demanded that we be
allowed to go in a house for
the drink."
The other chimed in, "Last
Thursday night, I wanted to
take a bath."
"What's wrong with that?"
asked a reporter unfamiliar with
the Carolina way of Life.
"It was midnight," the
explained sadly. G, H.
girl
DAILY CROSSWORD
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cavern
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10. Baking
chamber
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third power
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weight
(Ind.)
17. Genuine
18. Lofty
mountain
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22. Energy
(colloq.)
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Russian
Tuler
25. Punishment
27. Little child
29. Digit
30. Constant
sufferer M
(colloq.)
33. Daub of
color
36. Sash (Jap.)
37. A series
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receptacle
40. Ancient
coin (Gr.)
42. Lamprey
44. Half an em
45. Memoranda
47. Brandish
49. Prong
50. Border
51. Scrutinize
52. Source
DOWN
1. Knots in
wood
2. Seize
3. Opens
(poet.)
16. Royal Air
Force
(abbr.J
19. Possessing
love of
country
4. River (Eur.) 21. Damp
5. Mountain 24. Decay
pass
6. Affirm
7. So. Am.
republic
S. Necessitate
11. Outer
garment
13. Leather
flask
for
oil
26. Steal
28. Norse god
30. Satellite of
the earth
31. Heads of
monasteries
32. Regret
34. Kind of
egg dish
35. Company
38. Fresher
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48. Self .
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In Student Government, as in
other forms of government,
there is a continuing need for
organizational improvement, in
order that the government may
best serve the needs of the
governed..
Ifis particularly important at
this period in the development
of Student Government at Caro
lina that every effort be made
to perfect as far as possible the
mechanical aspect of our govern
ment. If this can be done, it
should then be possible to pro
ceed to the next step in the
development of our government
to establish joint faculty-student
government of the University,
with the students necessarily
playing the role of a junior
partner.
In order to remedy, in part,
two situations which now exist
in ' regard to the Legislative
-branch of Student Government
the administration is sponsoring
two bills.
The first would cut the size
of the Legislature to thirty
five members. This action would
increase competition for the
seats, thereby eliminating some
who look upon the office of
Legislator as an honorary one
which entails little work. It
would give each Legislator a
more vital function in the Legis
lative process; it would give
each legislator an adequate
amount of work to do, which has
not always been possible in the
past in the un-necessarily large
body. There is really no need for
fifty legislators.
The second bill would make
the electoral districts smaller
and would add one district for
the students who live in town
in private homes or apartments.
These students have not had
adequate representation and
they do have special interests
which should be represented in
an all-student-body government.
The administrative branch
plans to sponsor legislation in
the near future to solve the
knotty problem of the appeal in
our court system, and to estab
lish a Student Government re
cords office to provide greater
continuity and better informed
student officials.
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