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PAGE TWO
THE DAILY TAR HEEI
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 1952
auns site muMtt
The official newspaper of the Publi
cations Board of the University of
North Carolina at Chapel Hill where
i is published daily at the Colonial
Press, Inc., except Monday's, examina
tion and vacation periods and during
the official summer terms. Entered as
second class matter at the Post Office
of Chapel Hill, N. C. under the act of
March 3. 1379. Subscription rates:
mailed $4.00 per year. $1.50 per quarter,
delivered $6.00 per year and $2.25 per
quarter.
Glenn Harden
Bruce Melton
David Buckner
vBill Peacock
Mary Nell Boddie
Jody Levey ..
Joe Raff : :
Beverly Baylor
Sue Burress
Ed S tames
Nancy Burgess
Ruffin Woody .
Editor-ln-ehief
Managing Editor
News Editor
Sports Editor
Society Editor
Feature Editor
Literary Editor
, Associate Editor
Associate Editor
. Assoc. Sports Editor
Assoc. Society Editor
, ,. Photographer
If
iree-i-en
tains
In a recent nationwide survey, George Gallup found out
a large segment of the American adult population does not
know answers to such questions as, how many three-cent
stamps can be purchased for seventy-five cents, the number
of senators from each state, anclour country's population.
The significance of this poll is dire. Not only does it indi
cate a mentally static , nation, but a disinterested one.
Either too many "people belong to the T. V. set and sub
stitute a mess for the press, or education is at fault.
Graphically, this is what happens to a lot of college stu
dents: Sam S. gets all A's in grammar school.
. This same boy gets all A's and one B in high school, wins
Brightest Boy . contest, receives scholarship to near-by uni
versity. .
At the university, Sam excells in such hybrid courses as,
The Social Problems of J;he Zulu Indians, Pythian Games,
Psychological Mathematics, and Twelfth Century Sculpturing.
Upon graduation, he gets a job -in the production depart
ment of a toothpick factory.
Sam does good work. He gets promoted several times.
Soon, he becomes manager of the department.
One day, the president of the company comes in with a
new idea for quicker and cheaper production. "At three
cents a dozen, how many dozen toothpicks can be purchased
for seventy-five cents, Sam?" , -
Sam does not know.
He gets transferred to a menial job in the research depart
ment and spends a hand-to-mouth existence for the rest of
hir life testing toothpicks.
What we need is a college course called Fundamentals I,
and a newspaper printed entirely in 48 tempo bold.
Or maybe we ought to go back to "McGuffey's Reader."
B.B.
By Rolfb Toy tor
R
The average yankee has the
wrong outlook on southern eat
ing. The only chance he has to
observe the way his black sheep
brother eats below the Mason
Dixon line is along the routes
to the yankee colony of Miami.
All along U.S. 1, we can see
"Mammy's L'il Ole Barbecue
served with Mammy's L'il Ole
Greasy Cornbread." Last
summer, I was coming south
from Baltimore and stopped to
chow down at a place that
advertised such eatings. I got
string beans , that had been
boiled until they were a palid
grey. The potatoes were burned
on the outside and still cold
in the middle, and I wouldn't
have given a self-respecting
coon hound what they called
meat.
. That is the trouble with road
houses. They give bad impres
sions of sectional food. From
this the yankees think that the
southerner won't eat anything
that is not green, leafy, and
served with fat back.
I picked up a ya:ee cook the
other day 1j4l siJbear) should
be cooked 15 nujiutes. t ate some'
like that once -but jiearly,; died
from the effects. Aid their di
rections for fried chicken are
as bad. "Take a chicken from
three to three and one-half
pounds." it says. The only reason
we kill chickens that size is be
cause they quit laying.
And as for the salt pork
seasoning we use, I had rather
eat a little healthy grease than
get tight every time I eat , a
mal. The yankees have to add
a dash of wine to everything
they cook. They put wine in
calre.?, on meats, in spagetti,
ir.:l then serve a glass on the
side. No wonder there are so
.many alcoholics in this country.
Now a word of advice for
tourists seeking- good southern
chow. Go out to the farm any
farm in any section of the
country and you'll get some
eating like. you never had be
fore. Out where the corn grows
and all the 'folks eat because it
is necessary, not because they
have to finish a business deal.
There are no ulcers out that way
despite all the grease and course
corn bread. Ulcers were, bred
in the city where people have
a cigarette for breakfast, a salad
for lunch, and wine for supper.
By 6. Moc Whife
Worm's Eye View
(All characters, events, and
references in this little story
are purely, ficticious, but any
coincidence or allusion to actual
characters or events is intended.)
"Joe, elections ain't far off,
and we gotta find some goop to
run for that legislature post on
the Superficial Party' ticket.
'I know, Chief, and I think'
I've found just the man for it."
''Who?" replied the Chief with
obvious anxiety.
"A sophomore named Carl
Clamhead. He's ;a genius acade
mically, and makes Phi Bet
grades, but he's sorta shy, doesn't
know what's going on around
him, and best of all he handles
like putty I've got him con
vinced that he should take more
interest in student government
and be of service to the student
body, and that under the gui
dance of our astute party with
its astute principles, he can't
go wrong."
"Great!" bubbled the Chief
in his excitement.
'A11 we gotta do now," con
tinued Joe, "is figure out a plat
form for him to run on."
"Oh, I figured out a platform
long ago. Just been looking for
some jerk who would fit it."
revealeM the Chief with the
satisfaction of a job well done.
"See what you think of it.."
I believe that students
should help blind men and
old ladies across the
street."
'2. I do not think it proper
for students to go about
the campus clad in tee
shirts between Octoger and
May.
"3. In my love for our great
University, I think that
students should aid in its
economy by not leaving
" hts on all night and by
turning off the water spi
gots when they have
finished washing their
hands. 1
'4. As University students
should, at all times be
gentlemen, I believe that
male students should re
move their hats in eleva
tors when there are ladies
present."
"It's perfect," ycried Joe. "No
one can argue that. It's per
fectly sound.'
The next day we find ourselves
in the Universal Party head-
AH'M TARD O'
STJCKIN' PJMS .INTO
THIS DOLLY, AUNTIE
NIGHTMARE..'' AH
THINK AH'LL HANG
IT ON THIS LI'L.
GALLOWS VO'GIVE
ME FO'HALLOWE'EKJ-
T GOOD GIRL, J
J SCARY LOU.'TjJ
Jt U -1
&4MM-DJD AH HEXTHET
DOLLV.OR WDN'TAH?
i VJAL-EF AH DID- ITS Wi
HUMAN COUNTERPART
? IS GONNA FEEL EVERY
THINS WHICH HAPPENS
T THE
DOLLY.
quarters confronted with another
-Chief and Sam.
"Sam, the SP pulled a march
on us again. They pulled Carl.
Clamhead right out from under
our noses for that legislature
seat? You know how. important
it is that we maintain a majo
rity in' he. legislature. It don't
make no difference how many
other offices the -SP -holds as
long as the legislature is in our
power. Then no matter what the
SP puppets propose, we can vote
it down and maintain .that good
old status quo,. And that's our
aim, you know, to keep things
at a good old standing."
"Chief," Sam broke silence
after a little moment of thought,
"what's wrong wjth Sydney
Spoonnose? ?He likes to hold
, offices."
"You might have something
there, Sam."
"And Chief," Sam continued,
"I think I found a loophole in
that Clamhead's platform. The
fourth plank about men remov
ing their hats in elevators when
there's wimming on it."
"Yes, Sam."
"Yeah. What if the elevator
is crowded. I mean really
crowded. Say a woman comes on
and can just squeeze in. There's
a man with his hat on. If he
takes it off, he has to hold it in
front of him. If the elevator is
crowded the man has to move
his arm with quick, jerky mo
tions. That means the poor old
lady is going to. get goosed
through the . ceiling or shoved
forward and get caught in the
closing door.
"So I think we got a case,"
Sam said with pride. "The'
Superficial Party is campaigning
for indignities and physical in
jury for womanhood."
"Sam," the Chief squealed,
"you're a genius!"
Signs of our changing times:
Phi Delta Theta Fraternity, in
a breakfast fare revolt last year,
literally voted out French Toast.
At their meeting this week,
the worthy brothers in a majo
rity ballot gave the boot to
pancakes. . , ' ;
DAILY CROSS WORD
ACROSS
1. Outer --
covering
of t tree
5. Cicatrix
9. Worth . .
10. Egyptian
dancing
girl (var.)
12. Light
sarcasm
13. Piece of
furniture
14. Incite
15. Christmas
song
16. Merchan
dise 20. Marsh
23. Apprehends
27. Aside
29. Perfect
SO. Stays
32. Crooked
33. Percolates
35. To long for'
38. Mist .
42. Sprite
44. Collier
45. Grievous
46. Follow
47. Headland
48. Afternoon
receptions
DOWN
1. Fishhook
2. Genus of lily
(S. A.)
3. Stunted
things
4. Part of
a lock
5. Perched
6. Rattled,
as chains
7. Large
pulpit
8. Chest noise
(Med.)
9. By way of
11. Goddess
of death
17. Potato
dial.)
18. Gold
(Heraldry)
19. Brittle
20. Stripe
21. Open
(poet.)
22. Herd of
whales
24. Stitch
25. Sailor
(slang)
26. Cunning
28. Slices of
bacon
31. Northeast
(abbr.)
34. Gleam
35. Part of
"to be"
36. Metal
37. Father
30. Parts of
Saturn's
rings
40. Chief
Olympian
deity
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41. Before
43. French
river
44. Encountered
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