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PAGE TWO THE DAILY TAR HEEL FRIDAY, APRIL 17, 1953 tag th,. ..uicwm ttl-SfiSSl 3, 1879. Su- $2.2 per quarter. - Dan Duke 1964 Memoirs of J. McGurglefreely Editor Managing Editor Business Manager Sports Editor WALT DEAR ROLFE NEILL JIM SCHENCK BIFF ROBERTS News Ed. Sub. Mgr Ass't.- Sub. Mgr. Office Mgr Bob Slough Carolyn Eeichard Bill Venable, Tom Witty Buzzy Sbull '. Nina Gray, Jane Carter Soe. Eel Circ. Mgr. : Asst. Spts. Ed. Adv. Mgr. Exeh. Ed. Deenie Schoeppe Donald Hogg Tom Peacock Bob Wolfe A1a rlmtvmfltl illlbE ... rmBIAT. stapvA. Z. F. Wood Jr., John Gibson, Dorman Gor- dell. Dan Duke, Ron Levin, Norman Jarrard. ' t zi t i rMar RTnrrl Creed. Ken San- KKSr5?DJ, 2Ki3 Nettles, Tom Neat Jr., Jennie Lynn, Joyce Adams. -. , ; - , - SPORTS STAFF Vardy Buckalew, Paul Cheney, Melvin Lang, Everett ISeJolnnussey Sherwood Smith, Al Long. Dick Crouch, Benny Stewart. Wilbur Jones. PHOTOGRAPHERS: Cornell Wright, Ruffin Woody, Bill Stonestreet. Night Editor for this issue: Rolfe Neill Keep El e cting Him ; We don't feel that it's too late to discuss the advisability of an editor being elected. This year the campus was extremely fortunate in having to select onlv one man, Rolfe Neill, a newspaperman experienced in most phases of journalistic work and a real servant to the campusonce he entered Carolina. In the past, however, there have bees numwj candidates for editor, some of them very incompetent, f prd 1951, there were as many as five candidates for editor, two of them joker candidates. Many students, pondering the mass of possible politicians as edSrs thought that the editor should be elected by the Publications Board the body that handles financial matters of this paper and the Yaekety Yack, and approves staff appointments. Some suggested that the School of Journalism should take a direct hand in the management of the newspaper. Some have suggested that a select board made up of student government officials, representatives of the faculty, and the Publications Board pick an editor. The charge is: Students aren't capable of picking an editor.. Maybe they aren't. But we think they are enuuea iu cr editor for many reasons. vou as a student pay about $1.25 per quarter for subscription to The Daily Tar Heel. That's $3.75 a year. The block is universally ap plied. By tacit agreement, students have allowed this system of sub scription to'continue. They therefore have a right to direct the policy of the newspaper. The Daily Tar Heel is a student newspaper, first of all As such, it must be a student voice. The election of an editor is one way to insure that this voice is adequately heard. Student participation in the selection of an editor naturally makes the students more interested in the operation of the newspaper. Though it is difficult to gauge the effects of this interest, we believe that students would be very much less interested in their paper if they didn't vote for the editor. . The charge is frequently made that the best don't become editor that it is unfair to ask a newspaperman to campaign because he doesnt have time, and he should be utilizing his time with journalistic en deavors We can't measure the quality of editors over a period of time. We can say that there have been excellent as well as poor ones, however. Any newspaperman might not be happy about campaigning, but after some thinking, he may realize the value of campaigning Wha greater opportunity is there to learn about people than to talk to PePle; JSTmowit of them. Electioneering by newspapermen is a valuable a . experience. We believe the job of editor to be the most important one on campus We believefurther, that the editor has a significant responsi bility to find out opinions, to make them, and to present them. We have tried to think of another agency, other than political par ties to choose candidates. We can't think of any at the present Jhe editor of The Daily Tar Heel is the representative of the students on their paper. Until the block gee is abolished we see no reason why the editor should be appointed by a special group oi siuu DAILY CROSSWORD ACROSS 1. American Indian. S. Tab 9. Play 10. Fastened with a cord 12. Rowing implements 13. One who deserts his party 14. Evening" (poet.) 15. Garden tool 16. Italian, river 17. Military or naval duty 19. Vitality 20. Covered with ice 21. God of war (Rom.) 22. Kind of cotton fabric 25. Of ahorse 26. Robust 27. Cry, as a dove 28. Any fruit drink 29. Piers 33. Smallest state (abbr.) 34. Scorch 35. Fetish (Var.) 36. Pad 38. Scoff 39. Pry 40. Walked back and forth 41. Marbles 42. Mimicked DOWN 1. Desire greatly 2. More infrequent 3. Type measures 4. Water god (Babyl.) 5. Lamina 6. Tardy 7. Perform 8. Makers of peeping noises 9. Performs 11. Edema 13. Soorty (slang) 15. Wealthy 18. Endorse ment on a passport 19. Equal 21. Secure, as a ship 22. Maps 23. Glowing 24. Malt beverage 25. White with age 27. Talk 29. Sobs 30. Speak 31. Subsided STE NlEIBlAll IE TjA r gtg g. als PiNt-4 -t ami llltrlelH 5HSBH 32 34 T56 SL 3., Yesterday's Answer Plant ovule Not fast 37. Long, feathered scarf Breach Father 38. 40. The purpose of the McGurgle freely Education and Sulture Pur ification Bill, briefly, was to strike at un-Americanism where ever it appeared in education, lit erature, music or art. Specifical ly the first part dealt with edu cation: it demanded 1) a loyalty check of all teachers, and 2) pro hibition from the profession of all persons with I Q's above 100. (We had long known that intelli gence was correlated with indi vidualism, and that individualism in the teaching profession was iallv dangerous.) The sec ond rart. dealing with literature music, and art. provided first, the destruction of the works of some 11.081 authors (including, of pniirse. the work of such un- American radicals as Al Capp Thomas Jefferson and Jesus Christ): second, the compositions of some 8403 musicians includ- incr Shostakovich, Tchaikovsky and "Red" Foley, for example were to be destroyed; and finally the naintines of some 3269 ar tists were also to be destroyed A rider attached to the bill forbade the manufacture or sale of "pink" undergarments to la dies. Also all women were pro hibited from wearing any such subversive garments. (This led, when later passed, to the famous Marilyn Monroe investigation The sub-committee asked Miss Monroe over and over: "Are you now wearing, or have you ever worn, subversive undergar ments?" Miss Monroe, standing on her constitution, at first re fused to submit to the thorough investigation necessary. But when the sure hands of McGurglefree ly undertook the task, the bare facts were revealed, and Miss Monroe, as we now all know, was cleared of all charges.) In a very close vote, Congress an obsolete legislative body whose functions I now handle for security reasons and in the intprpsts of democracy) voted down the bill. This was the cue: if even the Congress of the "Un ited States" would not fight un Americanism, ' who would? I knew instinctively my duty to my country. I called for the im mediate formation of a third party, the Ultra-Nationalists. Instantly, the nation rallied be hind me, and with the help of some very able colleagues (Pat McCrayon, a real American boy; Joe McCromwell, of the Chicago Tribute, and Louis Fulton, Sr., a Mutual friend, as typical ex- nartv swept the country by storm and I was elect ed President in 1956. All that has happened since is ancient history. The people were good and ripe for some sweeping rpfrirms. and I really gave mem some. First, there was the revolu- 99nH Amendment, trie nuuai j . "Mfltma Charter" of our Amen can democracy, which 1) made the Constitution inoperative on nf vital security, 2) abolished Congress and the Su preme Court, and portions of the restitution dealing with these -hnriips. 3) turned over all judicial and legislative functions to the ovprntive (in the interests of nrnffrpss and security), 4) dissolv ed all the states of the "United States" and turned over all their functions to the central govern ment, the executive administra tion of "United America" as it was thenceforward called, 5) changed the flag, so that one huge white stor (with a picture of McGurglefreely in his shirt cWves in the center) on a blue background replaced the former anri fil outlawed the colors xib a ninlr or anv close facsimile with strict prosecution provided if, omr nprsnn or Drism caught 4. W JL WIIJ X irinlntintf that law. Thp 22nd amendment was im- TnAfiiatplv followed by the 23rd which incorporated the McGurgle freely Education and Culture Purification Bill, with about 71, 915 names added. This was fol lowed by the 24th, which set up the National Security nad Purge mincil. and set the pattern for our present day purges. Perhaps von remember some of the trials which followed; the fantous "Tppr" case in which William Doakes was convicted for a sub versive leer at yours truly; the riiarlpv Smith case, in which a minister was convicted of putting Christ before the security of the 'state; etc. And of course our ingenious foreign policy of "Blowentohell ism" will go down in history. Logic convinced us in 1960 that all other countries were hopeless ly un-American, so we decided simply to blow them off the map for their own good and for the good of their children. Of course this policy brought repercussions at home when bor dering nations like Canada and Mexico were blown up. (We did not miss those Texans, but some of those Wisconsins were real, fine Americans. But as we all know, the cost of security is high.) But all this, as I said,- is an cient history and beside the point. All Americans know how all-American America is today. The future? I don't know. In spite of all my efforts, hints of un-Americanism still crop up. Too many people are still think ing. People must come to do good and act American automati cally, instinctively (like me). We will have to recruit more EMSP Agents, make our practical edu cation more practical, and tighten our propaganda channels. But in the large I think Amer icans can look with pride at our nation, this golden age of dem ocracy. America has demonstrat - ed that Aristole was wrong. We have established a real and a permanent democracy of , by, and for the people, which shall not perish from the earth. (Note: All facts and dataf found in my "Memoirs" are carefully documented and verified in the source book, McGurglefreelyism the Flight from Americnnism, by Joseph McGurglefreely played daUy on all TV channels. Joseph McGurglefreely The Ram Sees Overheard at Annapolis: "He graded so tough that he flunked me because I had a period up side down." Acp Want Ad in the Michigan State news: "Single room for rent for male student with parking space on east side of Lansing." Michigan State News .. "A. I?It HI Our bright, glittery, and bouffant dresses have the charm of a Strauss waltz . . . the color and romance of a Tango . . . and the dream of a perfect eve ning . . . Make them your partners on your next big date . . . youMI have a wonderful time . . . -B. . vsX&PW.. O'-. ascsvi i ii ii b m bir i i i i 1 1 ?w v. 'tfzfs, s -3i LI I 111 tvtlliuu srr DRESSES p ji:Mml mm ( i 7 kh; V U: v 4K- (A- mm jifv.'ii r if - ,1 f t :.. w An invitation to every girl to come in and see our beautiful Spring and Summer collection of "Lighter than Air Formals . . . " All you Summer Brides . . . don't forget we have the wedding dress of your dreams ... Crystal Room Second Floor :' ' v" - if I i ft K . s JJ i V V Durhams best store since. T885
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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April 17, 1953, edition 1
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