pack rou THE DAILY f AR HEEL SATURDAY, MAY 14, lf60 On the Bench Ken Friedman lllowiiM jN ,v l tkr uhidi was utcivid ly the Dill v tlitl not print it lauwsc tlic author laKilicd his I ditoi . I II. Mill . "I .1111 slum. WIkii i Imst conic litre- i wasnt as smart as ' nun. Colics- K nlun. The koj)1c a u- "mid to inc. I.v tiv mmi ilu liM- doll.ns mnl lor inc. i am a lutlull pint i. litis is uh iIu-n do this to inc. When i ct out ol ',!,t 1 'h- juM as sin. it as ainbody to. You cant jiM mii, in .ill ,ti Miiic nu haw i to wotk hard il you want to 4 i that w.i. Almost cci da i to Liss and at nitc i stu 'x "'I hud soim t inns i study foi aloii time. One time i slawd up iin! niiIm1 li to hoius. - :! i iiiics i dunk i an think too gallons ol ben ami not 1 d'utik. .S.Miii iinu s i do ct some hi.li hut ewn thru i u-j nu mU i m tuthall and make my mussels touh - i am iood '' nid si inn- i tan take a tclclonc off the wali or i tan kick doui, ,, door. Sometimes i tear up people and kick them ij t"!c up m ole looinmate hi. was .1 liitul ole kid kinda puny! !ik(- . ui! weighed ahout a httndret and ninetv. hi'. Tiled a lit ' " in tie i .t . lake i s.iid tho i am a sell made man. I am so smait !iu nines i wuntlet il i mi-ht u;o ray. theie are so many ol' ihtse little uis ,itound who walk aiound with hooks and "iud and iitxei raise hell, i would like to kick all their u lh ut. !m ,ue the sir k. Thev will newt Irani noihiii. i "ii hae mt to 1 1 1 1 il hv doin;. sometimes i tolc hv the ;irH i with that i am had. im not had i just like to haw a; "kI time. 1'iiit i tan woim her up car.se i know a lot ahout; m . (!ause i am t i and stioii'4 i tan make them like me. I .in nitc looking to. lxteptin that part (r my teeth are rot-; ted "lit and i haw ot a whole lot ol pimples and i tlont smell ;iMd. ihev aie some people who aie stupid who tall us ani-j in. ils hut 1 1 ii aie tiay and stupid. They dont no that we aie smatt. Mosj ol the .tn.U are almost as smart as me. I wont ou to know lite now' that we aie :4d as cwrybody and bet K i i -uess. i just want people to-shut their stupid mouths. Il nii wont to bee ical smart and et money thin you just p!.i ball and -ct to be leal stion and hansom like me Sim erelv. I lot 1 Tmh Ii Cobb l)oi ill I !iis n iiiscatini; liteiaiy ciii took us bat k to a cool cw 1:111; this past tall, at the Woman's College Orientation I ! "l e. Ilu piiii little liosh pointed wth awe towaitl the in i ir In nk siiuttuie which Nat imposin-lv .itioss honi the i. inn, ("nils. ' I hat's the no!." he ilcd spastically. Then h.- flamed .Hound huriiulU at .1 sound nearby. A hoy. al i' .i , i m.isi e as the hi it k sf. tu t in e, - lain ett at him. shook 1 v In. id .nid walked awav. "I woiitler wheie lie's onr. the I . ,!( ("inniied I'min.; not to show that his knobby knets , u haki;ui. "ProbabU link to. his ia;.;e." His companions - pis:ii ai'fl pun as liimcll' - tiller cd ami aetl at Cobb !) .!-! 1 1 mii theii vbdl entuiuhed jHisitioii in the sta- line -, jicsiiion whitli lhe held ihiou-hout the evening. I'ovsiblx the bo who wiole the letter ahow and tan Sylvia Meets Cull en In ACC Tennis Finale Here Today By RIP SLUSSER . North Carolina's tennis horizon is bright with Bruce Sylvia in the fi nals of the singles competition and with the team championship vir tually locked up! Yesterday, the second day of the three-day Atlantic Coast Conference Tennis Championships, Sylvia gain ed the finals with victories over teammate Marshall Hspper and Maryland's Chuck Abelson. Bruce did not have much trouble with the surprising Happer, as he whip ped him 6-2, 6-2. The Abelson match was another story. Abelson, who made the quarter- ference title unais Dy virtue oi nis m-z, t-z ae- mere were the Tar Heel. The second set saw Sylvia using that same script, plus several excellent passing shots, to wrap up a 6-4 deciion. The third and final set was all tension. Both players committed several costly errors. Abelson grabbed a 4-2 lead in games before Sylvia caught fire. Battling with his back to the wall, Bruce parlayed his booming serve and his forcing game to eke out the victory, 7-5. For the Carolina team, the cloudy, ominous (Friday the thirteenth) day brought assurance of John Ken field trophy, the symbol of the con- via. ""yfir. The championship matcTies for the doubles and singles crowns will be played this afternoon, beginning at one thirty. .timirnnirn- t : cision over Duke's Dickie Katz, made Sylvia's hopes ,for the title seem very dim at times. Chuck took the hard fought opening set by a 7-5 score. He used his booming serve av.d his net game to befuddle A BIG- PITCH Warren To Hurl For Heels In Title Match Durham, N. C. North Carolina jub against challenging North Caro- Elon Beats ACC, 3-0 WILSON, N. C. u?) Gary Hen son fauaed nine batters and walked only one Friday a.s he pitched Elon to a six-hit shutout over Atlantic Christian 3-0. A home run by Steve Wall with one an in the fourth inning gave Elon its first scores and all that were needed or the North State Conference victory. Wall had two for four and Terry Harris had two for three. other exciting PATRONIZE YOUR y ADVERTISERS i i ii i.i Mi.'ii -kih ft heio o t ne cuius tour s are one ami me iiik , II not. thc aie both ol the same spet ies. II a bo's an athlete. tht tall Inn haw men on ym i I I t nc W !l I- ' K t an animal. Anil may oii t hoose to liw in the ';ood l.oitl Cobb Doim. ia;ile - do not toutli" paikaes bind together and itlx net r tome out in the open) "oo . . . animal . . . . ta-e" ami the other bnntetl terms ol their narrow o tabiil.nies at noii (when ou'te not looking, ol course.) I hey must tompeiisate lor their just kvling ol inleri oiitv with thcH- juxenile whispeiiu campaigns. Siuh a pcr sou is ihe author ol the afore-mentioned Icttci-who tlidn't lU,i hae the -uts to si-n Wis name. Most likely he. and the uihcts like him. will icinain in a perpetual sta- line thiou-h- oiif theil liws. 1 l's late the fat ts bos. 'oii'ic simply jealous ol the athletes. Sine they date more than you do (about one date a wat would aicoinplish this). Sure they're more muscular than oii aie. lut there's one other tiling. They're probably a hell ol a lot smarter than you are too. And - no - they don't m t their grades because they're athletes. In many cases this situation hampers them. Some teachers are alraid to be mark ed by :iiii4 an athlete a break on his jrade - a break an oidinaiy student would receive nine times in ten. I hev just have a bit more upstairs than you do. It wasn't tlie loot ball team which elected Wade Smith "Mr. Alumnus'' the other day. It was his own classmates. It w .isn't "most ol the an'' who selected Jack Ciuiniiinj;s on the lto Pop Warner All-America team of College Scholar Athletes. It tettainly wasn't our spastic little liiend of the tennis coutts who captivated the Mock Democratic. Conven tion the way Lee Shaller did last week . . . or was named to i he Oidei ol the (iolden Fleece, as were Smith, Cummin's Ray St aulc ami so many others over the years. No. little boy ...it wasn't you. You'll remain in the tiowd lov etcinity - whispern, making snidc remarks, etc dootned to the obscurity which your kind always achieves. So ciawl b itk in your hole and try to convince yourself that you'tc c ramiiiiii4 on Saturday niht Ix'cause "ou don't real Is want to date, anvhow." .ad Duke square off today in a ,ame lhat will decide the Atlantic v'oast Conference baseball cham pionship. Starting time is 3 pan. Carolina carries a 10-3 loop rec ord into this tilt. A win would wrap it no for the surshig Tar HeeLs. 1 w Duke is i-3. A game with Maryland was rained out last Monday. If the J.lue Ikvils win, they will have to auike up the contest with the Terps. Nick Warren, the soplwmore stop per, will return to his home ;own puch what must be the most ini pur.av.i game of his youthtul ca .ccr. u'aiien lias been tlie surprise package in Tar Heei pitching, light .vhen tne chips have been down. Duke coach Ace Parker plans to iturl his mainstay, sophomore Don ,4,i!li;m Ahman had a 8-1 record. ,v i i h a .'J7 earned run average. War ren Is uade.euted on the campaign 1 3-0 . w.-ivnp y niinii s brilliant nurnn Una State set up the title match. Voung limited the Wolfpack to two cheap hits in the 1-0 v ictory. Bruce j Crump's triple scored Vaughn Bry-; son with the winning run. John Burgwyn leads the Heels in to the game with a .348 batting mark. F'erg Norton, the powerful '.hird-sacker is at .329. Crump fol lows at .322. Gerald Gritiin, ia iket center-fielder, paces the squad in rbi's, home runs and stolen bases. Carolina dropped their first three coaferencc games. But since then ihey have been on one log streak, taking ten in a row. A combination wf air-tight pitching and solid hit ting has done the job. matches during the morning and! afternoon sessions. Defending singles champion, Bill Cuiien of Wake For est, came within a very points of being eliminated from competition. Carolina captain, Ben Keys, gave it everything he had, but lost to the! big red head, 9-7, 4-6, 6-4. with a I capacity crowd watching. Keys made his finale a brilliant and a j memorable one. He simply rushed j rushed, rushed. He was constantly; forcing the game. It was very good ' strategy, but just not enough. At; the end of the match, the senior i from Greenville, N. C. had won the ! hearts and a standing ovation from the fans. Cuiien was Involved in another breath-taker in the afternoon matches. Clemson's Bobby Burns made the champs life miserable in the second set of their match, be fore bowing 6-2, 13-11. Cullen's vic tory put him in the finals with Syl- The World's Most Honored Show MICHAEL TODD'S -V HOURS OF SHOWS: 12:00-3:05-6:10-9:15 NOW PLAYING SCHOOL FOR SEX ; IN MOSCOW The 'Man On A String' discovertd this beer buster to be a Sergean In The Russian Army! This juke joint was Inside the Kremlin! This is Moscow's famous Shoo1 for Spies! They train teen agers to spy on our Gl's! They claim se is one of their most deadly wea pons! 1 Boris Morros reveals startling Rus sian secrets in 'Man On A String the true story of his 10 years ! of adventure as a counterspy. Ex ; citement begins Sunday with th j daring 'Man On A String' at th ' Carolipa Theatre. j v r T v t " Add Zest To A Summer of Leisure?? Enroll in TYPEWRITING (air-conditioned class rooms). 5 week Basic Course begins June 13, 1960. TOWN CLASSES SECRETARIAL COLLEGE PHONE 9-2631 CHAPEL HILL MURALS MONDAY SOFTBALL 4:01) - Phi Dtlt vs. (hi I'si (Blur), Chi I'si vb. Dclt Sig-2 V), Alexadrr vs. Cobb (finals). 5:01) - Peacocks vs. Med Sch-1 (finals). TENNIS 4:00 - Parker vs. Ruffin, Beta vs. SAE W, Peacocks vs. Med-1 5:00 - Zeta Psi vs. Phi DeN, Sig Nu vs. winner (Beta-SAE) (W) BANQUET The annual Intramural Awards Night banquet will be held Tues day night at 6:45 in the Monogram Club. All Intramural awards for the year will be presented at that time. FOOTBALL TICKETS Season tickets for the University of North Carolina football games next fall -go on sale this week to ! tne txiucauonai r ounaaiion, inc.. which has priority on seat locations until June 15. Orders also will be accepted for individual tickets, with servicing beginning July 15. The Kducaiional Foundation spon sors grants-in-aid to UNC athletes. Beginning June 15, orders will be accepted for season tickets from other University alumni, with a priority period extending until July 1. The season ticket sale opens to the, general public starting July 1, with season priority concluded an July 15. After that tickets to indi vidual games as well as season tickets will be on general sale. The season tickets for the five home games are priced at $20, a savings of $2.50. Tickets to all individual home games are priced at $4.50 again. itminiiTTtTirfhfiiimil l-. r ::vv.,;.,v. . -t. , kstcin smat surat eensoi DEOwj etofriea ma ho ski mmm mo uu tmtmm mm Last Time Today E-X-A-M-S O Here's tho Panic Button you can push it if you want, but why not get a study aid from THE BOOK EXCHANGE at Five Points in Durham Or A Translation . . . Or An Outline . . . Or A Reference . . . The Rathskeller Pizza-rama is, undoubtedly, the subterranean Pizza-Capital of Chapel Hill . . . pizzas: sixteen inches, de licious, well-crusted, well-cheesed, well-toma-toed . . . and, above all, well - baked. If y o u wish, they can be well-pepperonied, well-an-chovied, well-sausaged, or well-mushroomed. Eat well to stay well -and please do not forget, there are Three Blind Mice but there's only one Rat. Order a dozen pizzas and have a party. The Pizza-rama phone number is 2-2000 (or 8-3141). Also, well-delivered to campus and downtown, 25 for as little as per month Monthly payments based on manufacturer's suggested factory delivered pric rtfc Vi down payment, 36 months at 6 interest, with Federal taxes paid. ifsYOUBS NEW The Rambler American 2-Door Deluxe Sedan, above, is America's lowest-priced car only $1795. You save at least $117 over other U. S. economy cars. Parks anywhere. Full family room. And so easy on gas. You save when you buy you save aa you drive when you Go Rambler. AM pftets d prici compjrisMtt b() on manuftcturers suggested delivered price It factory. Optional equipment, transportation, state and local taies, if any. eitra. See Your Rambler Dealer Today SAVE Al LEAST 205 $ . U . , IM 'JXX.t 9 Rambler American ?-0oor Deluxe Station Wagon is lower priced by at least $205 than any wagon offered by tht foir other major U. S. car makers. SUMMER EMPLOYMENT FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS Here's your chance to earn in excess of $1400 during the summer and pick up a minumum Cash Bonus of $400 while you're at it. For information and applications see Joe Friedberg and Dick Pustorino at the Carolina Inn between 11 A.M. and 6 P.M. Monday and Tuesday. H3

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