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Thursday, November 4. 1Q65
"I Don't Give A Happy Damn What Otelia Says!" rjavjfi Rotinnan
j Oil? iatlg (Ear tfcel
Opinion of the Daily Tar Heel are expressed in its
ijij editorials. Letters and columns, covering a wide range
:? of views, reflect the personal opinions of their authors.
ERNIE McCRARY, EDITOR
Roger Retard And The
Draft, Or How To Beat
The Mental Standards
No Place For Love
The self-appointed guardian of UNC's manners
and morals is well-known for being as quick on the
draw with her words as she is with her umbrella.
Always conscious of her "tiuty" to save poor
bumbling students from themselves, Otelia Connor
has submitted another letter to the DTH, and we think
it is deserving of special attention.
She says:
Yesterday I had a card from at anonymous writer
asking me to write about the necking and petting in
the Arboretum. She said it was disgusting to visitors
who want to see the Arboretum.
Well, I didn't think I would ta)ce her up on it, but
so many people said they thoughth should, that here
goes.
In my opinion young people hope got to have some
place to neck. The Arboretum is closed to couples at
night. They cannot neck in the dormitories, so the
Arboretum seems to be the only private place around
here, except for a few visitors. It certainly is a better
place than the campus or automobiles, or the woods.
Someone said 1 ought to have seen them necking
in the autos in the parking lot on Rosemary Street
yesterday! If anyone thinks thai 12,000 young people
are going to spend four to seven years at the Univer
sity, just sitting around twiddling their thumbs, they
have another thought coming.
The dormitories and the churches should provide,
rooms for courting couples where they can do their
love-making in private. Theve should always be a
hostess on hand, but she will not be in evidence. And
there should be a limit on the time, say eleven o'clock,
when the male would have io leave. In that way we
would have some control over the young people. As
it is now, all love making is strictly off limits. We
know what happened during Prohibition. It also
applies to love-making.
This is a problem which the administration has
always tried to sweep under the bed, but Otelia is
not going to let it go untouched any longer.
The only factual error in her argument is her
statement that couples are not allowed in the Arb
after dark. Legally, couples may make nocturnal vis
its to the garden, but technically Otelia is right
many of them avoid the place because of the danger
oi Deing sieppeu on. r.."; ;.c-
It is indeed a "sad situation when that wild and
dangerous Arb or terribly uncomfortable and non
private cars are the . only places couples can go to
make love.
But really, Otelia, we think it is too optimistic to
ask the churches to provide such facilities, even with
invisible hostesses on duty.
We think a much better idea would be for. the
President of the Student Body to personally investi
gate this vital matter, and give us his recommendations.
4V7 7-- -n: -rftM 5 v r
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Mike Jennings
What happened after the Army lowered
its mental standards?
To find out, I visited a training center.
The first soldier I encountered there
was Roger Retard.
"How'd you get into the Army?" I
asked him after learning he had an I.Q.
of 67.
"I told my Selective Service Board I
wanted to get drafted," he said. "Ordinari
ly, they're quite suspicious in these cases,
but since the adoption of the new mental
standards, they've changed their minds.
Now they figure that anybody wishing to
get drafted is dumb enough to serve. So
they promptly snapped me up and sent me
to Officers Candidate School."
"And?"
"They knew right away I was top-notch
material when I volunteered for K.P. duty.
They said that showed I had initiative."
"Did you continue to progress through
the ranks?"
"Sorta. I informed' my base command
er I barely managed to graduate from ele
mentary school never read books and al
ways had to be told where the men's room
was. 'Excellent,' the commander said,
you're obviously the type who'll feel com
pelled to follow orders. "
"But tell me, Retard, didn't the Army
worry about your lack of book learning?"
"The people said: There's only one way
the Army way, and we're very happy
you've never learned to do things another
way.
"Then they explained how proud they
were of the Army's history. You know, that
tank they used during World War II was
quite a machine. But why the heck did
they name it after a humorist like Allen
Sherman?"
"I bet they didn't take you into the
Army because of your personality."
"Sure they did. They especially liked
my cussing said they wanted me to tutor
the drill sergeants."
"How far have you gone through the
ranks?"
"Far enough to quarrel with Secretary
of Defense MacNamara."
"Why'd they send you back to the train
ing center?"
"I know it's a sad story but I'll tell it
to you anyway. Here's why I'm no longer
a major general:
"I stcfpped filching liquor from the PX.
"I went on to college and did graduate
work in sanitary engineering.
"I didn't show up at the right cocktail
parties.
"I no longer chewed tobacco.
"I worked overtime.
"I had dinner at the MacNamara's.
"Immediately, everybody said I'd lost
the necessary esprit de corps. They insist
ed my character was unsatisfactory for
military service.
"Moreover, they resented the fact that
I no longer did the dirty work the other
major-generals so bitterly detested.
"Yes the final blow came after I
stopped volunteering for everybody else's
K.P. duty."
Col. Penkovsky Knew
That US And Russia
Were Not Compatible
Nobel Peace Prize Is
Overdue For UNICEF
Things Could Be Worse
. For those who feel that UNC is having a less-
than-successful football season, there is consolation
! to be found at Susquehanna University in Pennsyl
: vania.
; Head Coach James W. Garrett had built a proud
39-4-1 record during his five years at the school. But
: something went wrong this year. The team lost its
: seventh consecutive game last week, and Garrett and
his three assistants blew the whistle and called it
quits Monday they all resigned.
The team has two games left this season, and Uni
versity President Gustave Weber has left his desk to
fill the coaching shoes. He isn't exactly without ex
perience, though, because he won nine letters in foot
ball, baseball and basketball during his college days.
It's handy to have a versatile school administra
tion. And by the way President Friday, did you
ever play football?
--.V V.V1V1V1V1VWAWAV,VAW.WWMVWAVWiWWTOV.W
Slip Sattg afar ti
72 Years of Editorial Freedom
The Daily Tar Heel is the official news publication of
the University of North Carolina and is published by
students daily except Mondays, examination periods and
vacations.
Ernie McCrary, editor; John Jennrich, associate editor;
Barry Jacobs, managing editor; Fred Thomas, news
editor, Pat Stith, sports editor; Gene Rector, asst. sports
jditor; Kerry Sipe, night editor; Ernest Robl, photograph
er; Chip Barnard, editorial cartoonist; John Greenbacker,
political writer; Ed Freakley, Andy Myers, Lynne Harvel.
Lynne Sizemore, David Rothman, Ray Linville, staff
writers; Jack Harrington, bus. mgr.; Tom Clark, asst. bus.
mgr.; Woody Sobol, ad. mgr.
Second class postage paid at the post office in Chapel
Hill, N. C. 27514. Subscription rates: 14.50 per semester;
IS per year. Send change of address to The Daily Tar
Heel. Box 1080, Chapel HOI. N. C, 27514. Printed by the
Chapel Hill Publishing Co., Inc. The Associated Press Js
entitled exclusively to the use for republication of all
local news printed in this newspaper as well as all ap
news dispatches.
Sometimes, I think, even the most pa
triotic American wonders whether the issue
between communism and democracy is
really so clear-cut. . , '
Peaceniks and some" political scien
tists tell us that clear-cut differences
between governments don't exist anymore,
if they ever did. Russia's evolving image
is that of a rambunctious adolescent who
is finally learning some responsibility. It
would seem that Russia and the U. S. will
become increasingly more compatible as
each plugs along toward the Great Society,
until finally all differences are erased.
Then, in a world swathed in a blue haze
of consumption and socialism, colleges in
the two countries can exchange folk singers
to further cultural understanding, and all
will be well.
I'm not so sure. All Will Rogers knew
was what he read in the papers. If he were
alive today, he'd know this: .
Communist countries are jails. They
lock people inside.
Whenever communist countries open
their doors, as they did in Hong Kong,
people stream out by the thousands. No
body goes in.
No communist government has ever
ever been elected by a popular vote.
Colonel Vladimirovich Penkovsky proba
bly didn't read those facts in the papers,
but he knew they were true. Colonel Pen
kovsky . was an intelligence officer in the
Russian Army. He was also the most suc
cessful spy in modern history. He was a
spy for the West.
Penkovsky rocked Nikita Khrushchev's
regime to its foundations. He began furn
ishing high-priority information to Western
officials in April, 1961. For two years he
transmitted a flood of Soviet secrets, con
cerning such projects as the Cuban missile
buildup and Russian nuclear capabilities.
Penkovsky's own story of his thoughts
and activities as a spy will soon be pub
lished by Doubleday. Here are some ex
cerpts: "... I happened to marry a general's
daughter and quickly found myself in a so
ciety of the Soviet upper classes. I was
one of the privileged.
"But I soon realized that their praise
of the party and communism was only in
words. In their private lives they lie, de
ceive, scheme against each other, intrigue,
inform, cut each other's throats . . .
"The ideals which so many of our fa
thers and brothers died for have turned out
to be nothing more than a bluff and a de
ceit. I know the army and there are many
of us in the officer corps who feel the same
way. But they are afraid ... Each man
here is alone.
v "From what I have learned and what I
have heard, I know that the leaders of our
Soviet state are the . willing provocateurs
' of . an atomic . war . . - - - - - 7
." Moscow I have lived in a nuclear '
nightmare . . . I know the poison of the
new military doctrine, as outlined in the
top-secret Special Collection the plan to
strike first, at any. cost ...
"This' you must understand. That is why
I write these observations of mine to the
people of the United States and Great Bri
tain. I ask only that you believe the sin
cerity of my thoughts. Henceforth I am
your soldier . . ."
It seems ironic that a Russian should be
willing to be our soldier, when many of our
own people are not.
Penkovsky was caught in October, 1962.
He plerded guilty at his trial; apparently
he did so in order to secure decent treat
ment for his family. In May, 1963, he was
shot.
By ALAN BANOV
Both the United Nations and the Nobel
Prizes have been criticized for some time
for various reasons.
Recently both institutions were given a
deserved boost when the United Nations In
. ternational - Children's Emergency F und
nUNICEF)"was;awarde!d the 1965 Nobel ;
Peace Prized
The Nobel Prize Committee was criti
cized last year by segregationists for
awarding the peace prize to Dr. Martin
Luther King, Jr., the civil rights leader.
The committee is always under attack for
its selections in literature.
The Nobel Peace Prize has the noble
purpose of recognizing the person, persons
or institution which "shall have most or
best promoted the fraternity of nations and
the abolishment or reduction of standing
armies and the formation and extension of
peace congresses."
Past winners have included Ralph
Bunche, Theodore Roosevelt, Woodrow Wil
son, George Marshall, Lester Pearson,
Letters To The Editor
Editor, The Daily Tar Heel:
: I wish to call attention to a serious
typographical error made either by me or
you in my article, " "Deplorable' Recall Is
Symbol Of Public Face Versus Private
Morals," published in the "Liberal Com
ment" column on November 2. In the con
cluding paragraph a phrase of a sentence
reads ". . . and by which even the univer
sity lies' . . ." The phrase should read
". . . and by which even the university
lives . . ." I do not wish to suggest that
the university exercises its freedom by
lying.
There is also a typographical error, or
misprint, in the name of one of our most
distinguished political philosophers, quoted
in the second paragraph. The philosopher
is Hannah Arndt.
Banks O. Godfrey, Jr.
Chapel Hill
Editor. The Daily Tar Heel:
Although Castro's offer to let Cubans
leave their country is not the same as free
elections, it is a humane action. The U. S.
should reciprocate by encouraging the emi
gration from the U. S. of the small minori
ty, including SPU "soup-fast" enthusiasts
and SDS backbiters, dissatisfied with our
country and its policies, so that they can
seek a happier life in Cuba, North Viet
Nam, or any other paradise.
Don Thompson
113 Mangum
Jane Addas, the International Red Cross
(several times) and the American Friends
Service.
UNICEF is the second U.N. organiza
tion to receive the award. The U. N. High
Commission for Refugees was honored in
1954, and various U. N. leaders have often
been considered for the prize. t...1
Almost ' since its inception, though, the
international organization has been criti
cized for having too much power, for
having too little power and for other rea
sons. In this country such conservatives as
Robert Welch, Edwin Walker and Robert
Shelton have demanded that the U. S. with
draw from the U. N. Liberals have depre
cated the omission from the world body of
Communist China and other states.
Such criticism has often reared its ugly
head at this time of the year when children
and adults "Trick or Treat for UNICEF."
In some areas of the country the John
Birch Society and other conservative or
ganizations have waged active campaigns
against the UNICEF drives. :
UNICEF, which has been headed by
Americans since its beginning, is the
branch of the U. N. that collects monies
in affluent countries such as the U. S. to
be used to feed and heal the needy chil
dren of the world. The organization, like
CARE, is able to send a great deal of food
and medicine abroad for amazingly small
amounts of money.
For exmple, a few cents given in the
U. S. are enough to furnish a starving child
in Brazil with several quarts of milk or a
hungry kid in Algeria with a few loaves of
bread.
It is very fitting that UNICEF was hon
ored during U. N. Week, which was cele
brated at Chapel Hill, in North Carolina
and throughout the world.
Some forms of nuclear disarmament
may not be economically or politically
feasible, but feeding hungry children has
always been an effective cure for social
problems and an important aid for world
peace.
No one should expect to see complete
peace in the world in the foreseeble fu
ture. However ,the Nobel Peace Prize is a
meritorious incentive to those few persons
who are striving conscientiously for it.
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LETTERS
The DaHy Tar Heel welcomes letters
to the editor on any subject, particularly
on matters of local or University inter
est. Letters most be typed, doable
spaced and must include the name and
address of the author or authors. Names
will not be omitted in publication. Let
ters should be kept as brief as possible.
The DTH reserves the right to edit for
length or libel.
A
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