Page 2
Thursday, January 6, 1966
ilovie Review
G Satlg (Ear tyetl
: Opinions of The Daily Tar Heel are expressed in its
jx editorials. All unsigned editorials are written by t h e g:
: editor, letters and columns reflect only the personal
views of their contributors.
& ERNIE McCRARY. EDITOR S
About Those Tickets
The Athletic Department is due of vote of approv
al from the student body for its eager willingness to
change regulations governing the distribution of bas
ketball game tickets.
Problems have arisen this week because we have
come to the first big game in the big new auditorium.
Students started lining up at 5:30 Monday morning to
get one of the 6,500 seats available in Carmichael for
the Duke game. There were lines coming and go
ing, opening and closing, and confusion was added
to the disgust of those waiting . . . and waiting.
The 250 date tickets available were gone almost
as soon as the windows opened. The lines bogged
down as those who reached the windows pondered
which ticket to take "Do you want section 8, 3 or
the bleachers?"
Faculty and staff members were in those same
lines Tuesday and yesterday nine professors paid At
letic Director Chuck Erickson a visit, taking their
complaints with them.
Erickson, sticking to his word of doing anything
reasonable to make the greatest number of people
happy, approved some changes which should make
the situation more tolerable, though still far from
ideal.
Henceforth, so long as any student tickets are left,
date tickets will be sold. For the Duke game, 250 date
tickets were held back from the general admission
block of 2,000 tickets. Under the new arrangement,
250 date tickets will still come from the general ad
missions but if there is a demand for more they will
be drawn from the block of 6,500 student, staff and
faculty tickets.
The number of students seeking single seats might
be reduced a little, but at least no one will be forced
out of a date ticket.
Before big games in the future six ticket windows
will be open at all times and the opening-closing con
fusion will be eliminated. One of the windows will be
reserved for faculty, staff and general admission only.
At that window faculty and staff members will still
get tickets from the 6,500 group while general admis
sion sales made at the same window will come from
the 2,000 block, so no student tickets are being sacri
ficed. The right to choose a seat at the window will be
replaced with a time-saving "take-this-ticket-and-move-on-it's-the-best-seat-still-available"
approach.
It is always possible that these changes will, cre
ate ' new problems," tut again" our - thanks - to : the Ath
letic Department for its willingness to try sugges
tions. It is really unlikely that a perfect system will
be found during the first basketball season in the
auditorium.
And this fact will always remain: When 20,000
people want in a place that holds only 8,500, some
body is going to be dissatisfied.
James Bond, Move Over
It's very fashionable to be a secret agent these
days. Every third actor in Hollywood seems to be a
cinematic spy and about half the television shows this
season are shrouded in trench coats and studded with
concealed weapons.
Now, as a UNC student, your chance in here.
You can j oin Beaumont' s Secret Service .
Spoofing aside, Campus Police Chief Arthur Beau
mont has called for your help in solving the latest
theft on campus. Somebody entered the typing room
in Manning Hall Tuesday and stole a portable type
writer belonging to a law student.
Here are the clues: It is a 1963 model Olympia,
two-tone gray, serial number SM7-219391. The thief
left the carrying case behind, so be suspicious of
caseless portables.
Agents should report findings to Mr. Big (Beau
mont) at his plush SS headquarters on the second
floor of Y Building.
And be careful, secret agents. The crook might
be working for that dreaded organization T.H.I.E.F.
(Typewriter Hijackers' International Emergency
Fund). J
ii Satlg (Ear $iA
72 Vein of Editorial Freedom
S .h ?y Tar "eel b the official "w Publication
g the University of North Carolina and Is published by
:x stadents daily except Mondays, examination periods and
Ernie McCrary. editor; Barry Jacobs, associate editor:
g Pat Stith. managing editor; Andy Myers, news editor!
:::: Gene Rector, sports editor; Jim Coghill. asst. sports
editor; Kerry Sipe. night editor; Ernest Robl. photog
:::: grapher; Chip Barnard, editorial cartoonist: Ed Freak-
ley. John Greenbacker. Lynne Harvel. David Rothman
S J)3"' rder. staff writers; Bill. Hass. Bill Rollings,
v: Ron Shinn. Sandy Treadwell. sports writers.
j: Second clss postage paid at the post office in Chanel
g Hill. N. C. 27514. Subscription rates: $4.50 per semester;
$8 per year. Send change of address to The Daily Tar
ig Heel. Box 1080. Chapel irfll. N. C. 27514. Printed by the
:::: Chapel Hill Publishing Co.. Inc. The Associated Press is
jg entitled exclusively to the use for republication of all
local news printed in this newspaper as well as all ap
: new; dispatch
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Richardson Scores Again
By PETER RANGE
The joke's on everybody in Tony Richard
son's latest contribution to the celluloid
medium, a farce called "The Loved One"
which opened last w eek at the Rialto Theater
in Durham.
Richardson has gone in a single leap
from the wild and woolly of the 18th century
("Tom Jones") to the maniacal and ridicu
lous of the 20th. With the same skill at shoot
ing, editing, and directing which we saw in
"Tom Jones," this young Englishman has
taken all that is hypocritical and downright
ludicrous about being in Hollywood, about
being British there, about living or dying in
Los Angeles, and about burying your dead
there, and turned it into the fastest and fun
niest comedy available for many weeks.
Dennis Barlow (Robert Morse) mistak
enly walks onto a runway apron in England
and gets off a jet some hours later in Los
Angeles, where he is thus destined to spend
the next few hilarious weeks. He calls his
uncle, a knighted member of the local Brit
ish colony, who is paid well for poor art by
one of the big movie studies.
Poor Dennis cannot keep up with the
standards of these transplated Britons, led
by portly Sir Ambrose (the inimitable Rob
ert Morley), and soon finds himself both,
laughing stock and waterboy of the group.
In the meantime, the uncle has been dis
charged from the studio and proceeds to
hang himself from the high diving board
over his crumbling, once-gradiose swim
ming pool. The plot now really begins when
Dennis is sent to make funeral arrange
ments at Whispering Glades, Hollywood's
plushest and paganest cemetery.
A Vietv From The Hill
The Sweet Smell Of Campus Beauty
BY ARMISTEAD MAUPIN, JR.
Place: The office of a popular South
Building administrator
Time: About a week ago.
(As the drama opens, the Administra
tor is speaking on the telephone. He is an
amiable man, but he is obviously having
a difficult time concealing his current ir
ritation. There is a very persistent Lady
on the line.)
Administrator: . . . yes ma'am, it ar
rived here yesterday, afternoon. Six truck-
loads of itr It was awfully thoughtful ;ofr -'
you, but . . . really . . . I hardly -know -what
to do with 36 tons of . . .
Lady: Gracious, Chancellah! You spread
it around your shrubs, of course. Makes
'em grow like all get - out. Why folks here
in Johnson City say there's nothing' like
it for all kinds of things. You should see
my collards, Chancellah, they're so . . .
A; I'm sure they are, ma'am . . . but
we really don't have that many shrubs
here at the University. Thirty - six tons
is really far too much for our purposes.
Wouldn't it be possible for us to send some
David Rothman
back?
L: Pghaw! Ah use a heap more than
that at the Ranch. You gotta be generous
with it, Chancellah. You're livin' in the
Great Society!
A: Yes ma'am, but most of our shrubs
are around classroom buildings and dorm
itories. Thirty - six tons of this, er
substance would be rather shall we say,
distracting to young people who are ex
ploring the Kingdom of the Mind. Surely,
you can see what I mean. The odor is not
the most.. . . . ; v" ;
Chancellah, you are" trym': .mat 'pa
tience a mite. Ah'm beginnin' to wonder if
you're supportin' me in the Wah on Ugli
ness. Mah husband doesn't take kindly to
folks who don't support his programs.
A: It's not that, ma'am. It's just . . .
L: As ah recall, mah husband gives
your school a good little bit of federal aid.
A: Yes ma'am, that's true, but . . .
L: And you appreciate everything mah
husband has done, don't you, Chancellah?
A: Of course, we . . .
L: Well now, Chancellah. Won't you
A New Kind Of Southerner
A new kind of Southern Provincial has
sprung up within the past decade. He is not
a hillbilly. He doesn't belong to the Klan. He
accepts the fact that the South lost the Civil
War. In fact, he may be against the singing
of "Dixie." And he might wear a beard and
picket against U. S. Viet Nam policy. And
call the governor of his state a racist.
The New Provincial belongs to a small
but growing group of Southern college stu
dents and intellectuals whose most impor
tant goal in life seems to be Atoning for the
Homeland's Sins. But in his eagerness to
atone, his condescending sympathy becomes
hate bitterness far more intense than that
of the most emotional Northern civil rights
leaders.
Realizing that his region is economically
and educationally inferior to the rest of the
nation, he habitually blames
these deficiencies on The Establishment
the Southern press, the Democratic Party,
the leading businessmen and the educators.
Sometimes, the New Provincial's criti
cism is justified; but usually, he attacks
The Establishment because he cannot dis
tinguish between the South of 1965 and the
Dixie of the 19th century, whose leaders
lacked the moderation of their modern
counterparts.
The New Provincial satisfies some of his
need to atone by constructively working to
correct his area's failings by helping vot
er registration efforts, by participating in
the War on Poverty and engaging in similar
positive action.
But generally he mourns the' South's trou
bles with the assistance of coffee house col
leagues who spend their time uselessly
chattering about topics like the latest bomb
ing in Alabama; or, if the bullshooters are
hard-pressed for conversation, they discuss
Viet Nam trying to convince themselves
that U. S. Viet Nam policy has earned the
United States the condemnation of other na
tions just as the South's racism brought
forth the disapproval of the country's other
regions. '
The New Provincial probably has never
used the word "nigger" within the past five
years and once he may even have furtively
spat on a Confederate flag; but he feels as
if Americans outside the South hold him just
as responsible for the racism of the Klan
and the Citizens Councils as they do the or
ganizations' actual members.
And where Viet Nam enters the picture,
the New Provincial's logic is similar: he has
not napalmed any Vietnamese villages, he
hasn't fired a shot at the Viet Cong, he
doesn't support the corrupt Saigon govern
ment; but people in India, Japan and the
rest of the world think he has caused these
atrocities by his supposed lack of opposition
to the State Department's policies.
Therefore, the Provincial believes, he
must protest damning his country's Viet
Nam actions without really knowing wheth
er the United States is an international vil
lain. He knows only that his native section
of the country is frequently in the wrong
when others condemn it; so, he reasons, why
not the entire United States? Perhaps the
slogan of the New Provincial should be:
"My country right or wrong is wrong."
show just a teeny bit of that appreciation
by participatin' in mah beautification pro
gram? A: I can assure you, ma'am, we'll be
most happy to do our part. It's awfully
good of you to want to send us these ship
ments, but, frankly, we can buy our own
uh fertilizer.
L: Fertilizer! FERTILIZER! Ah'll have
you know, Chancellah, that you are speak
in of one of the most celebrated products
of this here ranch! You are speakin' of the
Pride of the Pedenales. It's found only; on
the banks of our beloved rivah!
A: That's quite a distinction, but . . .
L: You bet your boots, it's a distinc
tion! Why, Chancellah, ah've shipped Ped
enales Pride all over the world. It's be
come a major part of our foreign policy.
Why, just yestiddy, ah got the sweetest
note from President DeGaulle. He tanked
me so grandly for the 73 tons ah sent him.
He said France hoped to have a fertili
zer force of its own some day. Chancel
lah, ah don't send mah Pedenales Pride to
jest anybody.
A: I can't tell you how much we ap
preciate the thought, but . . .
L: Now don't you rile me, Chancellah.
That Rhodesian feller got sassy a while
back and we cut off his shipment before
he could say Arthur Goldberg.
A: I am trying my best to tell you
that . . .
L: Ah don't want to hear another word,
Chancellah. Ah know you'll give us your
full cooperation. The next 36 tons will ar
rive in Chapel Hill in about two weeks.
Good bye, Chancellah. (She hangs up.)
A: But . . . (He grips his desk in an
effort to contain himself.) I can't stand it
any longer. This place smells like a ba
nana republic. (He leaves his desk, closes
a window, and reaches for his dictating
maching) Memo to the Board of Trustees
. . . Gentlemen . . . After a great deal of
thoughtful consideration, I have decided to
resigt from my post at the University. I
have cherished my days here, but I can
only say that the atmosphere here is not
totally conducive to the free and unhamp
ered pursuit of academic excellence and in
tellectual inquiry. Therefore ....
At Whispering Glades Dennis is guided
through bucolic vales, over bubbling brooks,
past the music of the spheres, and into the
Gothic Slumber Room by lovely Aimee
Thanatogenos (Anjanette Comer). Aimee
prepares the stiffs for their last public ap
pearance and sees the mortuary as her
cloister. Dennis falls head ever heels for this
self-appointed nun and tries quite unsuccess
fully to win her heart from the start.
Dennis soon finds himself in a counter
part business, the animal mortuary. He also
soon finds the key to Aimee's heart: poetry.
He plagiarizes daily from Tennyson and
friends, passing himself off to innocent
Aimee as a poet.
His rival is Mr. Joyboy (superb perform
ance by Rod Steiger), a male Goldilocks
who does the embalming at Whispering
Glades. Aimee consults a newspaper Brahm
in sage for advice and finally chooses Den
nis. But Joyboy uncovers the source of the
poet's words and wins her back.
In a final climax of desperation, Aimee
commits suicide by embalming herself.
Both distressed lovers load her into a casket
intended for the first astronaut destined to
be interred, not in the ground, but in outer
space. Dennis departs again for England, his
aching heart at rest, after watching on TV
as the unsuspecting Air Force rockets his
beloved into eternal orbit.
Everybody gets a jibe in this incompar
able satire on the human comedy in our
midst. Lyndon Johnson, Queen Elizabeth,
the English, the Americans, the Jews, the
Negroes, the military, a number of famous
guest stars, the space age, and above all the
American way of death in its most glorious
ly ridiculous extremes.
Richardson's technique is fast and furi
ous. His actors are like marionettes suspend
ed from his hand, even if all but Rod Steiger
play their own stock roles.
You'll laugh so hard for over two hours
that you should not go if you tire easily or
have a heart condition or take yourself
very seriously!
Letter
Stop Line Breakers
Editor, The Daily Tar Heel:
This letter is to protest the actions of
those who broke into the ticket line Tuesday
morning at Carmichael Auditorium. Every
year when tickets go on sale for a big game,
such as the Duke game, the problem of line
breakers gets worse, but this year it ap
proached an outrage.
I arrived at the Ticket Office at 6:45 a.m.
and found that a line had already been
formed. (I was told that those at the front
of the line had been there since 5 a.m.) As
the line began to grow, I noticed that many
people were not going to the back of the
line, but instead were pushing in at the
front.
People who had been waiting in line pro
tested to these 'Carolina Creeps' but in
many cases to no avail. One lady reminded
a couple that they had broken in line; the
Coed replied, "Yes, I know." The situation
was somewhat eased by the arrival of sev
eral Campus Policemen who began keeping
these prople out of the lines.
What kind of student body are we that
we have to have policemen to keep stu
dents from breaking a ticket line? These
line breakers were certainly a minority but
they were enough of them to pose a problem.
Had Otelia Conner been there, she would
surely have rapped them over the head with
her umbrella, for they lacked any sense of
fair play or courtesy for those who were
waiting in line.
This situation is a disgrace to the UNC
Student Body and unless something is done
it will continue to exist. Therefore, I pro
pose that the Athletic Department or Stu
dent Government take positive steps to keep
this from happening again.
Dwight McAlister
48 Barclay Road
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