Friday, August 4, 1967
gfrg (Har Hjttl
Page 3
How BATDEAN Got His Name
Editor's Note: Dean Long is
affectionately known to upper
classmen at UNC as the Bat
Dean, thanks to a column which
appeared in the Daily Tar Heel
on January 16, 1966. For
trasnfer students and freshmen,
the Tar Heel reprints that
memorable column by
Armistead Maupin Jr.
By ARMISTEAD MAUPIN
JR.
GROSSEM CITY, U.S.A.
PANIC has broken out in the
PLUSH OFFICES of the
Consolidated University
Building. Commissioner Thurs
day has received word of a
DREADED DEVELOPMENT!
Commissioner: That dastardly
villain! He's struck again right
under our very noses
Assistant: Who, Com
missioner? C: The Grosser! The fiendish
arch-fiend dedicated to GROSS
ING OUT the entire University!
UNC Helps Avoid
'Street Violence'
Work is being done in North
Carolina today by the North
Carolina Good Neighbor Council,
University of North Carolina and
Duke University and others in
education, business and industry
to get jobs for drop-outs and
other young people will forestall
violence in the streets" in
North Carolina towns and cities
in 1974 and 1985.
A plan for matching jobs with
Calendar
THE CAROLINA CHRISTIAN
Fellowship (Inter-varsity) is
meeting Friday from 6 to 7
p.m. upstairs in Lenoir Hall.
Everyone is welcome for
honest, informal discussion.
LOST A K & E slide rule
between ' down town and the
Book Ex July 31. Rule was in
light brown leather case with
initials WAC inside flap.
Would greatly appreciate
assistance in return of this
slide rule. Reward offered.
Call Andy Cook, 115 Battle
Lane, 929-3549.
LOST A PAIR of tortise-shell
prescription sunglasses in a
brown case. If found, contact
Al Blalock, 968-2256. Reward
offered.
DAVID, DELLA ROSE and
Brook art performing tonight
and Saturday night in the Ren
dezvous Room of GM. Shows
are at 9 and 10:30. UNC
students and their dates are
admitted free.
young people needing work a
project supported by 45 North
Carolina businesses and in
d u strial establishments was
praised here by Robert Goode of
the "Plans for Progress"
organization i n Washington,
D. C.
Goode is an executive of the
Mellon Bank in Pittsburgh and
is on leave to aid in the Plans
for Progress efforts to help
youths find employment over
the nation.
His remarks came at the con
clusion of a vocational guidance
institute held here, under direc
tion of Prof. William D. Perry.
David Coltrane, chairman of the
Governor's Good Neighbor
Council was one of the speakers
at the institute which has been
going since July 17.
The 40 school teachers at
tending the institute will be
armed with new information and
techniques in assisting young
people in getting jobs.
Mr. Goode praised Duke
University for its announcement
Thursday that it would help with
housing needs of Durham's low
income people who need hous
ing. He also commended the
University of North Carolina for
its leadership in programs such
as the occupational and voca
tional job-acquiring efforts, in
dicated in the institute con
cluded here today.
Prof. Perry said support of
the institute was guaranteed by
contributions from 45 business
and industrial firms in North
Carolina.
We thought we had captured
him three years ago at the Beat
Dook parade, but he turned up
this faU disguised as a home
movie producer. Now he's on the
loose again!
A: GRAT GUNS! Where is
he this time?
C: Big Mom Residence Hall!
Somehow or other, the devilish
monster had persuaded those
upstanding, clean-living
American boys to publish a
pornographic rush booklet! The
A: This sounds like a job
for. k .
C: Yes! BATDEAN! I don't
know who he is behind that desk,
but we need him. And we need
him NOW!
In a matter of seconds, the
deathly urgent phone call had
reached the Bat Cave of 02
South Building. To the outside
world, this seemingly innocent
enclosure is the office of wealthy
socialite preacher Bruce Long
and his bright young ward, Dick
Kepner. But we know better!
Within these walls dwells
BATDEAN, the caped crusader,
and the incredible BOBIN.
Together they form a
DYNAMIC DUO that strikes
fear in the hearts of BROOKS
BROTHERS BIGOTS
everywhere.
A quick change of clothes and
BAM! WHOOSH!) they are off
in the powerful BATMOBILE
the only car in Grossem City
that bears a B sticker.
Within seconds, the trusty
twosome is standing in the
awesome lobby of Big Mom.
Bobin surveys the in
creiminating rush booklet.
Bobin: HOLY REPRIMAND!
This is serious stuff, Batdean!
BATDEAN: Yes, Bobin, but
one day Truth, Justice, and the
Campus Code shall prevail over
all. Confiscate several hundred
copies of that VILE BOOKLET
so that we may have sufficient
evidence. Wonder Woman will
be interested in this!
In a flash, the GROSSER ap
pears from a nearby elevator. A
fiendish grin spreads across his
distorted face.
GROSSER: Well, &!(!?$$!)
it's Batdean.
BATDEAN: Don't talk like
that, you VULGAR VILLIAN.
Your time has come!
GROSSER: My time will,
never come, Batdean! Even as
we stand here, my work is going
on. Just wait till you. see what
the boys of Alexander have plan
ned for the girls of Winston! Hee
Hee! Wait till you see the water
tower next Tuesday! Wait till
the Grill has Happy Hour!
(Chuckle) Wait till Jubilee!
BATDEAN: You FIEND!
The Caped Crusader lunges
towards the Grosser in a
powerful effort to bring the
villain to his feet. But the
Grosser moves like a REPTILE
and springs toward a nearby
stairwell. Bobin helps Batdean
to his feet.
BATDEAN: Don't let him. . .1
JOSEPH E.LEVINE
Shirley MaclAiNE
ALAN
ARKIN
ROSSANO
BRAZZI
MICHAEL
CAINE
VITTORIO
GASSMAN
PETER
SELLERS
ARTHUR COHN
PcrtuctiM
-
.. xWM CP
.JsM-k
Everything that a
man should know
and a motion
picture could
show about
WOMAN!
VITTORIO
DeSICA's .
ANITA EKBERG
ELSA MARTINELLI- ROBERT MORLEY
LEX BARKER PATRICK WYMARK
RIZ 0RT0LANI CESARE ZAVATTINh JOSEPH E.LEVINE.
ARTHUR COHN VITTORIO Da SICA . COLOR pmm
An Embassy Pictures fillets
SlartS Today! Daily at l:10, 3:08, 5:06, 7:05, 9:04 R I ALTO
think I'm going to black
out. . .after him, Bobin. . .(he
droDS to the floor).
WILL BOBIN CAPTURE THE
DASTARDLY CRIMINAL?
WILL BATDEAN GET TO
THE WATER TOWER IN
TIME?
WILL THE GROSSER
FULFILL HIS THREAT TO IN
STALL 300 COPIES OF FANNY
HILL IN THE RESERVE
READING ROOM?
DON'T MISS THE NEXT
THRILLING EPISODE!
r ' i ' F
rTTrVi .17 i
A Hi ' .- .it f W
ik:ms&U. lU f testis
RIGHT NOW IT'S lust a bis hole next to the Bell Tower, but
when completed it will house power and telephone lines.
Tar Heel Staff Photo by Gene Wang
I '
j CLIP OUT AND SAVE
i PINE ROOM
! CAFETERIA
! THIS WEEK'S
DINNER SPECIALS
j -Sunday & Monday -
! Rare Roust Docf
j Baked Potato with Sour Cream,
I Clover Leaf Rolls, Salad Jg
j - Tuesday -
j Pizza Pie 75
I Wednesday
I Chirco Broiled
i Hamburger Steak
j French fries, salad, rolls OO
l - Thursday -
j Choice of
! Spaghetti or Ravioli
salad, garlic bread .95
I - Friday -
! Combination Seafood Platter
j Hushpuppies, French fries, cole slaw 1,25
5-7 P.
Summer Serving Hours
Breakfast 6:45-9:30 Lunch 11:00-1:45
Dinner 5:00-7:00
The SNACK BAR is open 'til 11:00 P.M.
Closed Saturday Open Sunday 4-1 1
. J