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Opinions of The Dally Taj- Heel ere expressed on its editorial page. AH
unsigned editorials are the opinion of the editor. Letters and columns
represent only the opinions of the individual contributors.
Suzzn Miller, Editor January 16, 1974
Assembly
Imisiiiiirainice
The General Assembly
reconvenes today after delaying
most of the important issues of last
year's regular session until this year's
trial session.
The state representatives will be
setting policy on a number of issues
important to students here.
However, probably the biggest
issue, arousing lots of emotion and
perhaps some feelings later in the
game, is the future of the East
Carolina medical school. ECU
Chancellor Leo Jenkins has been
pushing the legislature for years to
budget money for a full four-year
medical school, for the main reason,
he says, that more doctors are
needed in the eastern part of North
Carolina.
Yet a study by medical experts
authorized by the UNC Board of
Governors, which has authority
over all 16 state-supported
universities, including ECU. has
concluded that a new medical school
Pressure
legislature
tlhromislii
Apathy kills.
If you are not yet a victim, or
believe yourself to be concerned
about the laws of the land, you can
join the State Affairs Committee of
Student Government. The
committee wants students interested
in organizing support for student
issues before the N.C. General
Assembly, which reconvenes today.
Age discrimination in auto
insurance is one major issue that
directly affects students. The
committee is planning to organize
letter-writing campaigns and trips to
Raleigh to protest the present
system.
State legislators are responsive to
unified student support especially
when those students are state
residents, taxpayers and voters.
Working with the State Affairs
Committee is one way you can make
a difference in Raleigh.
The committee will also be
working with groups on other state
campuses and with the
administration to inform students
about other issues of concern,
including out-of-state tuition and
abortion.
If you care about your rights, now
is the time to stop griping about
discrimination and do something
constructive. Sign up in Suite C of
the Carolina Union. Do your part to
change unfair laws.
Adrian Scott
T1
The Daily Tar Heel office is full of flotsam
and jetsam, some of it dating, back years.
It is astonishing how one drawer can
contain a complete record of recent history,
arranged in layers like soil strata.
Envelopes with "From the Office of Rep.
Nick Galifianakis" are near the top, lying
cheek-by-jowl with "Sanford for President"
bumper-stickers.
In another drawer, you might find the
rejected draft of a story which proclaims that
the Allman Brothers and Joe Cocker are
coming to UNC for Jubilee.
The deepest stratum may contain
publicity photos of Lenny Rosenbluth or a
gem like a first edition review copy of "What
the University of North Carolina means to
me."
All of this was inspired by my discovering
a relic which could not be called ancient
history but which I hope is deeply buried by
the obliterating sands of time, it is a poster,
adorned with a somewhat familiar
photograph, and bearing the legend"Adrian
Scott is running for Editor of the Daily Tar
Heel."
With a sickening crunch, the memory of
that idiotic month of anguish descended on
my shoulders, ruining what had up till then
been quite a promising day.
SG
to view
policies
is not the best way to meet the need
for more doctors.
The need for more doctors is thus
the surface issue of contention
between the pro and con forces on
the ECU med school. A major
underlying issue was best expressed
by the ECU coach, who said after
the ECU-UNC football game this
fall, that it was about time people
started recognizing the people pf the
eastern part of the state.
Another issue related to the med
school is the role of the Board of
Governors. The board was created
to have jurisdiction over all state
supported universities, and yet the
assembly threatens to supercede this
authority by opposing the board's
decision against expansion of the
ECU med school. (The board
decided, in keeping with the medical
study, to pursue other methods to
improve health care in North
Carolina.)
Other issues that will Cause some
controversy are related to insurance
rates. No-fault insurance will be
discussed, and the powerful
insurance lobby threatens to defeat
no-fault, an obviously better system,
if the consumer is considered instead
of big business. -
Also likely to come before the
assembly, 'insurance lobbies don't
succeed in keeping it in committee, is
Insurance Commissioner John
Ingram's merit insurance plan. This
plan would end discrimination in car
insurance rates based on age and sex
and would set rates according to
driving record.
Unless students make their
feelings known to their
representatives on these insurance
issues, legislators will not feel the
pressure of their constituents and
thus vote with the insurance lobby
and against too-quiet consumers.
She
Hatli
Sat HppI
Susan r.iller, Editor
Winston Cavin, Managing Editor
Bill Welch, N3W3 Editor
David Eskridge, Associate Editor
Seth Effron, Associate Editor
Kevin McCarthy, Features Editor
Elliott Warnock, Sports Editor
Tad Stewart, Photo Editor
Ernie Pitt, Night Editor
mines ffiro
EM
po
.Li.
It also brought the realization that what is
a depressing memory for me is about to
become a pestilential reality for all of us. I.
mean, of course, that the season of Student
Politics is nearly upon us.
Thank God I live in an apartment. If I was
a dorm-dweller, I would be engaged right
now in either moving out or buying a big,
strong lock.
Here, for the edification of those who have
never experienced Spring in Chapel Hill, and
to bring back happy memories to those who
have, is your 1974 Election Glossary,
compiled by one who speaks not only as a
world-wise senior but as a grizzled veteran of
the whole silly mess himself.
CAMPUS OFFICES: You've probably
heard about these. They include President of
the Student Body, Editor of the Daily Tar
Heel and Campus Governing Council seats.
Also Chairman of the Carolina Athletic
Association and other such vital, meaningful
positions that have so much to do with life on
this campus. Mention of CAMPUS
OFFICES looks very, very good on Grad
School applications, Rhodes Scholarship
forms and college transcripts. They can even
make up for poor grades.
CANDIDATES: These are the people
who want to be elected to CAMPUS
MeettM
I've always wanted to meet a rock n roll
star. Little did I suspect that I would meet
him sitting in the lobby of my dorm watching
MASH. drinking rot-gut wine, smoking
bad dope and laughing at the wrong times.
"So this is central North Carolina!" he
blurted out unexpectedly, and eliciting no
response from several boggled dorm
residents, continued ""Man, you see I'm on
the road... I just slept in yo r parlor
here . . . What are you dudes doin lor thrills
in amongst your forthwith education youse
is receiving and being receptive to here in
Chapel Hill? And why'd those guys bolt this
dive whenever I passed the joint and where's
Town Hall, man and who painted that
groovy picture it looks like Dagus or Degas,
or Deja vu or whoorwhatever it is so this is
MASH, eh what a ripper1"
Mildly startled by this outburst my
roommate (who I'll call Tom) asked the
There's been a gas
i Jul ffpul. PM ;0U
tg. ,,, mmmmmm 1n, muni ii n li him iimmi iMiwiiiiillllill iim l il urn I m nnm
Letters to the editor
UNC males hold
To the editor:
In regard to U.S. Senator Jesse Helms' (R
N.C.) recent statements concerning the
immorality of newly handed-down abortion
decisions, I would like to make a few modest
proposals of my own. Senator Helms
recently stated that he "felt sorry for the little
girls who get in trouble. But getting them out
of trouble doesn't warrant the taking of a
life."
A very noble sentiment, don't you think?
Chapman urges students
to communicate openly
To the editor:
In response to the editorial by Nyle Frank
in the final fall issue of the Tar Heel, which
concerned the failure of the U.S. system and
which voice an appeal for inter-community
discussion and communication, I would like
to inquire of the student body in general and
townspeople, too, if anyone is interested in
getting a political discussion group off the
ground, then would she or he please meet me
tonight at 8 p.m. to the right of the
information desk of the Student Union. We
can then move to a suitable room.
If you are interested but cannot make this
OFFICES. They are usually Big Persons On
Campus, running because they want to go to
Law School, want to be senators, or have
poor grades, or all three. They are often
biggies in the Carolina Union, the Y or Chi
Psi Fraternity or all three. They have usually
spent time hanging round in Suite A, Suite B
or Suite C, or all three.
THE ISSUES: These are the things the
CANDIDATES say they will do if they are
elected, and they are usually expressed in
CAMPAIGN PROMISES. Past
CAMPAIGN PROMISES, and thus
ISSUES, have included the establishment of
a viable minority court, more accessible
student government and efficient delivery of
the Daily Tar Heel.
POSTERS AND LEAFLETS:
POSTERS are large pieces of paper, usually
nailed to trees, which provide a profit for
Student Graphics. Lots of people put them
up, but few take them down. LEAFLETS
are smaller pieces of paper, which tell you
what a BMOC some CANDIDATE has
been and how he will change your life if you
elect him. They are shoved under doors at 2
a.m., and may take on a completely new
significance if the toilet-paper shortage
continues.
GOING DOOR-TO-DOOR: A quaint
custom, generated by the suspicion felt by
so.
obvious question "Where're you from?" 1
started to tell him where he looked like he
came from the guy looked like a Bowery
bum of the first magnitude dirty tie-died
denim shirt and incredibly dirty jeans that
looked like they'd been used to clean the
main ring of a circus after the elephant act.
"New Jersey, man. The local gendarmes
arrested me for public drunk look I got
the warrant somewhere here," he said,
shuffling through his pockets . . . and 1 mean
shuffling... "Hey, look, where's Town
Hall 1 got my axe and I've got a gig!! (Only
later did I realize that Tom thought he meant
a real axe. Now I understand why he
changed color so abruptly . . . )
"I'm Joe Walsh's brother, and I'm on
tour."
For some unknown (no doubt suicidally
inspired) reason (probably because I figured
I could get a column out of it; or maybe just
shortage here, too
The illustrious senator further stated that
human life exists "from the moment of
conception, that is, at the moment of the
fertilization of the ovum by the sperm."
Once again I agree. Indeed, the senator
bases his campaign against abortion on the
premise that we should respect the right of
the unborn from the moment of conception.
I advocate a stronger position. I propose
that this protection of the unborn should
extend back not merely to conception, but to
particular time, please send me a postcard
with your name and phone number on it and
I will get in touch with you before the next
meeting.
I really have no idea what the topic(s) of
discussion will be, so don't worry about any
structure that will have to be followed. I'm in
the dark as much as anyone else about what
is just plain going on.
Anyway, please attend, bring a friend and
any weird ideas you may have.
Gerry Chapman
C-9 Carolina Apts.
Carrboro
ISM
C
CANDIDATES that their POSTERS and
LEAFLETS are not goint to get the ISSUES
over well enough. They therefore spend their
evenings going round the dorms knocking
on doors and trying to convince you
personally. Dorm dwellers will find these
nightly visitations, starting at 6 p.m. and
going on until midnight, a soothing
complement to reading, writing papers,
watching TV or smoking dope.
THE DAILY TAR HEEL: An organ with
a multitude of purposes. Its Editorship is a
CAMPUS OFFICE (sigh), it is the
mouthpiece of the various CANDIDATES
and involves itself in long, boring discussion
of the ISSUES. For another function during
election time, see under LEAFLETS.
ENDORSEMENTS: Recommendations
on how you should vote expressed on the
back page of THE DAILY TAR HEEL. In
past years, written by the Editor. Always
defended by those who are so endorsed, and
always called irresponsible by those who
aren't. Exactly who will be endorsed is
always a closely guarded secret, and this year
is no exception. (Amelia Bellows for
President, Winston Cavin for Editor.)
THE VOTERS: About 5 per cent of the
Student Body.
Have fun, everyone, and you'll find me at
the beach.
O
morbidly curious) Tom and I decided to
walk downtown and show this throwback
where Town Hall is. Remembering that he
was a rock 'n roll star, and realizing that he
was stoned, drunk and God-knows-what
else, I decided it would be best not to let him
demonstrate his virtuosity on my guitar, so
we slipped in and out of the room in the dark,
grabbing our coats and exchanging
disbelieving glances ...
II
"Spare change?" he asked desperately.
"I was gonna ask you " (Nice reply, I
thought).
"Well speak up man . . . It's a free country,
ain't it?... Well, is it?" he demanded
throwing his arm over Tom's shoulder.
"I don't know," Tom said in characteristic
fashion.
"What's wrong, man? You're free. I'm
free, the man here with education (myself) is
free we're all free man, you just gotta do
it!"
"Do what?" 1 asked hesitantly.
"Live. Take me, oh well, I'm a musician on
the road, or course, but other than watchin
out for the local gendarmes I can do what I
want to. What do you guys here in central
North Carolina do for fun surely not just
watch that, that, tube?"
"Yeah."
"What?"
"Yeah ... or go hear a band or
something. There's stuff to do ... "
"StuffT
"Yeah" ... I think.
"Spare change, man? I'm goin' to the
Town Hall and they won't let me in without
money for a beer , . . I promise I'll spend it
on beer . . . honest?"
"Look, you already hit me up for change
once today . . . You didn't remember me!
I'm hurt . . . Tell him how hurt I am,
Jim . . . "
"Oh, he's hurt alright," I said. He didn't
realize they would meet again in the middle
of the night when Seth would find our
"friend" going through his records (looking
for Humble Pie).
"You gonna buy me a drink?" he said,
putting his arm around my shoulder. His
breath smelled like the county morgue.
"Sorry, sir, but we aren't going to the
watering hole with you ..." (Jesus, I
thought, I'm beginning to talk like him
life, death
preconception stages; i.e. I propose the
.formation of a male coalition for S.O.S.
(Saving Our Sperm).
Who only knows how long the silent,
senseless destruction of half-lives has gone
" on in our morally decrepit society. Why a
recent survey of the Carolina Apartments
and Granville Towers came up with the
astounding figure of over 15 trillion sperm
deaths in the month of September alone!
Such a wanton waste of potential human
life cannot continue unnoticed. As the
immediate installation of sperm receptacles
in individual dorm rooms would appear to
be too expensive for feasibility at this time, I
propse the setting up of public sperm banks
in centralized locations.
These public receptacles would operate on
first come first serve basis and the actual
machinery could be supplied by a newly
Caught in the act
Plumbers grab files
To the editor:
LOS ANGELES, May 4, 1974 The
infamous White House Plumbers were
arrested at 2 a.m. today in the office of Dr.
Herman Nudnile, psychiatrist of President
Nixon. It seems they had missed their target
by one door. Their assignment had been to
raid Bob Hope's psychiatrist.
Hope had been suspected of conspiring
with the Viet Cong when he did not take his
annual road show to Viet Nam this past
Christmas. It appears that someone higher
up forgot that the U.S. is no longer directly
engaged there.
One plumber was caught wheeling away a
whole file cabinet marked with only the
letters R, M and N. Columnist Jack
Anderson was on hand to claim the files for
people's evidence. Among the files were Dr.
Nudnik's notes of the previous week, some of
which follows:
"Richard wanted to start a campaign to
save his face presumably for Mount
Rushmore. Dirty tricks of previous years did
not pay off.
"Personal philosophy only way to get
absolute power is to be absolutely corrupt.
Letters
The Dally Tar Heel provides the
opportunity for expression of
opinions by readers through letters to
the editor. This newspaper reserves
the ri;ht to edit all letters for libelous
(Uternents and good taste.
"Letters ihould jb;irJted to 3C J
words in) must include the rune,
address and phor dumber of (hi
writer. Type letters: on a 60-space Unr
and address them to Eiltor, The DtT;
Tar HeeL, In canrjef. the Student
Unlpn.
1
I
Wt'AWWAVW
W.'AiWAV.'.V
So.m
We showed him where Town Hall w as and
told him to go around and sneak in the back
door.
"Back door? Man, I'm Eric Clapton's
brother! I got a gig there. I go in the FRONT
DOOR!"
"Sure ..."
"Oh yea. I left some stuff under the couch
back at the dorm, help yourselves . . . And
my axe is there . . . Nobody'll bother it will
they?"
We assured him the dorm was full of
honest people and left him there, asking for
spare change so he could afford to go in the
front door.
HI
The next day, this guy told somebody that
he'd played with Led Zeppelin, was both
Clapton's and Walsh's brother (spiritually
now) and demonstrated he couldn't play the
guitar. At all. (Of course, that does fit with
the Led Zeppelin story . . . ) He tried to
take a few records from our R.A. and
various other people; blocked the T.V.
during the State-Maryland game demanding
wine (which, incidentally, he got from a
DTH editor, thus speeding up said DTH
editor's already frightfully advancing
neuroses . . . ) and took a chicken pot pie
which he removed from the package and
proceeded to fry on a red hot burner. He was
eventually carted away by the local
gendarmes, true to form, adding another
warrant to his collection.
I'd always wondered what happened to
guys who "spent their life on the road."
These are the types who we glorify post
mortem, at least the musicians among them
(Leadbelly, Jimmie Rodgers. Woody
Guthrie, Hank Williams, et al) but it's a
different story when you contemplate a life
where the sort of thing our friend went
through (and put others through) is
commonplace. Most people I've talked to
that came in contact with him recount the
experience with bewilderment and awe. It
must be some life, and although he but
slipped through like a garbage scow that
passes in the night, I think we all probably
have a big of envy mixed in with our self
satisfaction and bewilderment at "that poor
guy."
So who's free, him or us?
in hands
created syndicate in Climax, N.C, the
Getcharoxoff Eazy Freezy Company.
It has been suggested to me by the afore
mentioned company's local representative.
Miss Rosey Hyman, that in the event of
delayed delivery of the said receptacles all
female assistance in. the UNC community
must be strongly solicited for this worthy
cause.
Miss Hyman asserts that she feels it to be
the right-nay, the obligation of every
available female to do her part in preventing
this sperm drain.
But, gentlemen, the responsibility must
finally revert back to its source, for, indeed it
is us. the males of UNC who hold the power
over life and death in our very hands.
Bill Wall
Phil Wuck
B-27 Carolina Apartments
So decided to create energy crisis crisis
always pulls country together after pull wool
over their eyes.
"Strategy: A. International rekindle
Middle East War. Special agent Kissinger to
set up all deals. B. Homefront block
deliver of gas and oil to service stations and
fuel dealers.
"Benefit of Crisis:
1. divert public attention from tricks
2. repay campaign contributions of big oil
companies by creating higher prices.
3. rich get richer, poor freeze to death
prove there are no poor in U. S.
4. weaken Europe they've done nasty
things to the dollar."
Bill Brieger
Rte. 5, Chapel Hill
Pointer Sisters
talented, popular
To the editor:
The Pointer Sisters shameful? Jim Taylor,
where have you been this past year?
Apparently spending more time talking to
"real live farmers" than music-minded city
folk. Are the Rolling Stones the only band in
your mind worth booking? Are you really
that ignornat or did you just decide to
sacrifice editorial accuracy for consistancy
of cockiness in your writing style? The
Pointer Sisters, although Carolina's only
"biggie" for the season, are extremely
talented and popular, and perhaps one of the
hottest acts in the country right now?
Who is Jim Taylor, and why is he writing
for The Daily Tar HeeP.
Name withheld
on request
P.S. Randy Crittendon, you can't boogie
to Maria Muldaur?