Laura Yandell
g (liar
81 Years Of Editorial Freedom
Opinions of The Daily Tsr Heel are expressed on its editorial page. All
un.iined editorials are the' opinion of the editor. Letters and columns
represent only the opinions of the individual contributors.
Sunn Milkr, Editor January 17, 1974
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Sen. Jesse Helms may be a rookie
senator but he sure isn't sitting
quietly on the sidelines watching the
goings-on of the Senate
unfortunately.
Helms has taken up the cause of
what he calls "unborn children,"
introducing various amendments
that fly in the face of the Supreme
Court decision last year that
legalized abortions under certain
conditions.
One amendment, introduced last
week, would grant full
constitutional rights to the unborn
child from the moment of
conception. As the letter to the
editor pointed out in Wednesday's
Tar Heel, such a law is as
ludicrous as a law protecting the life
and death of sperms.
When conception occurs is not
clear and that conception has
occurred cannot possibly be
detected until medical examination.
"The moment of conception"
therefore cannot be legally
determined, so the Helms
CD
o quorum twice
speaks ill
Sometimes we wish, like last
year's student body presidential
candidates David Boone and Pitt
Dickey, that Student Government
would go jump in a lake.
The latest reasons for doubting
the credibility of SG are the two
meetings in a row of the Judicial
Committee of the Campus
Governing Council that failed to
have a quorum. Because of the
committee's failure to meet to act on
the Judicial Reform bill, the bill was
not considered at Tuesday night's
CGC meeting. This bill has had
many, many hours work and just as
many problems in its formation.
Reform of the student court
system has been attempted for five
years without success. Now that the
minority court controversy has been
Mike Rierson
asy college founinni
"It was the winter of our discontent."
Times were hard, cash was short, and 1
wasn't about to decoupage Christmas
presents again this year. Cheap, but it wears
the fingerprints off.
So, I'm faced with no other choice. I've got
to obtain what is known as A Part-Time Job
During The Christmas Holidays. It's the
price 1 must pay for squandering my money
on wine, women and song.
A friend of my uncle's half-brother knew a
neighbor that had a cousin who worked at
what will remain a large, unnamed industrial
plant. Just wait. This gets better.
"Sure, he'll get ya a job boy. Home for
Christmas, huh? Well, we'll put ya to work.
Haw, Haw!"
This is barely 24 hours after my last exam
that filled up two blue books front and
back. Haw Haw.
Word leaked out in my neighborhood that
I had a job pending. My parents rejoiced.
They called my grandmother in Burlington
just to tell her that 1 might get a job. My
father tried to persuade the local paper to
run a headline reading "Lazy College Bum
Seeks Employment."
So, off I go to seek my fortune in the world
of steel-toed shoes and never ending coffee
breaks. 1 report at the crack of dawn to the
front door and what appears to be the
original "Lurch" from television's old
rz.
Stlyp Hath
Cuzzn f.tlSfer, Editor
Winston Cavin, Managing Editor
DIE! Welch, Hews Editor
Dsvid Eskrldg, Associate Editor
Ssth Effron, Associate Editor
Kevin McCarthy, Features Editor
Elliott Warnock, Sports Editor
Ted Stawart, Photo Editor
Emto Pitt, lzh ZCAor
icy
amendment would be extremely
hard to enforce.
In addition, Helms amendment
for legal right to the unborn
completely ignores the
constitutional rights of the woman
carrying the fetus. These rights were
upheld in the Supreme Court
decision.
Another amendment offered by
Helms to the Foreign Assistance Act
would have prohibited the use of
U.S. money to pay for abortions or
abortion research in foreign
countries.
Helms' amendments are based on
the unproved belief that life begins
with conception. This belief should
not be the basis for U.S. laws that
would deny any woman the right of
life and liberty by forcing her to
carry through with nine months of
pregnancy.
Students should write their
senators and congressmen to make
sure Congress is not as ridiculous as
Helms is, by making his amendment
law.
for SG
settled at least in the making of a
bill to present to CGC, it is
unfortunate the judicial committee
could not get enough members to a
meeting to report that bill out of
committee for action by the council.
One member of the committee has
said he was not informed of any
meeting of the group. Perhaps more
fundamental problems, such as
more politicking about the problem
sections of the bill, encouraged some
members of the committee to stop
action temporarily on the bill by not
showing up to discuss it.
Whatever the reason, failure to
get quorum on such an important
thing as judicial reform does not
speak well for the judgment or
dedication of SG members.
"Addams Family" calmly rises from a desk
of monitors. He is what is known as a
Security Guard. He keeps things secure. In
their place.
"What'cha doin' here boy?"
"I say what you doing here boy? There is a
boy under that hair ain't they?"
Two other Lurches enter and begin to
laugh uproariously. The Stupid College
Bum laughs also. This is known as trying to
get started off on the right foot. Haw Haw.
"I'm supposed to report to Building 31.
I'm the part-time help. For the holidays."
"Well, O.K. Sign this sheet." It was a
security roster. Name, age, time of arrival,
and country of birth. Everyone before me
had initialed U.S.A. Every day when they
come in they attest to their patriotism.
1 was the type kid who colored outside the
lines for the sport of it, so I had a deep
yearning to scrawl USSR or Bulgaria on the
crummy check-in sheet with a red Bic
Banana. Normalcy overtook me.
"O.K. kid, go down this corridor to the
next building. And here, put this security
badge on and display it prominently."
"Well, how you doin', how you doin'? You
must be the guy Arch told me about. Ready
to go to work? Let me welcome you to
Greenhouse Janitorial Services. We clean up
around here."
And 1 have just been taken to the cleaners.
irlm
Ell"
cairn
Life can be hard for a Carolina basketball
fan, especially if he's in hot pursuit of
something several thousand other students
on campus want a ticket to the UNC-State
game.
Rising Monday before the sun, Mr. Fan
notices that half his dorm is already up. He
can guess why so he beats it on down to
Carmichael.
It is 7:30 a.m. and a few hundred students
sit sleepily inside the gym. Mr. Fan sees
sleeping bags and pillows and wonders how
anyone could have spent the night in the
cold, even if this is the biggest game of the
year. He climbs into the stands and claims
three seats on the third row: one seat for him
and two for friends Fanny and Franny.
Together they will brave the long day.
Although they are in good position for
tickets, Mr. Fan continues to worry. The
night before, the three carefully had designed
an unbeatable plan for saving seats while
taking turns attending non-cuttable classes.
But Mr. Fan has seen failproof plans fail
before. UNC ushers (students hired out by
the Athletic Department) possess magical
powers capable of charming students into
moving whatever books or coats might be
occupying a "saved" seat next to them. No
saving seats under any circumstances
whatsoever, these bouncers say. Required
classes to the wind. It's here or there. Make
your choice.
Mr. Fan has seen such incredible actions
occur before. Students, glassy-eyed from
playing too many hands of spades or
repeatedly trying to conquer the world at
Risk, oblige the ushers' orders. Mr. Fan
vows that no one will take his saved seats. He
and his henchwomen will beg, cheat, fight,
steal, bribe and maim to keep them.
At 8:15 Franny arrives and with her
support Mr. Fan tries to solicit crowd
opposition against the ushers.
"Listen. People have to go to classes, too.
It's not fair for us to have to sit here all day.
So let's all make an agreement not to move in
when the ushers say to. Ok? What do you
say?"
A lot of sleepy faces look back at Mr. Fan
as he stands hands on hips, smiling, waiting
for a response. He receives several yawns,
some nods, a few neutral stares and then the
put-down.
Letters to the editor
Reader
To the editor:
The appropriate label may be left to your
readership. Call it "yellow journalism" or
simply "protagonistic," your January 15
editorial entitled "No civil rights progress
seen since death of King" betrays the truth.
Much in fact has been accomplished in the
years since King's untimely death in moving
this nation toward his goals. This is true in
nearly all spheres of human activity. What
do you want as evidence? The influx of
blacks into the political life of our
communities? Access to institutions of
tells, off holiday job
I had expected a desk job an executive
position. Instead, I'm about to join the Mop
and Bucket Brigade.
"Come on in. Don't be shy. My name is
Lester and I'll sort of be watching over you.
But you'll more or less be on your own
You'll be cleaning up the bathrooms down in
the Forge Shop."
Haw Haw. The Lazy College Bum Gets
His.
So Lester and I made our way around the
Forge Shop and he showed me the duties of
the "Keeper of the Stables." That was his
title, not mine. He kept letting out this big
horselaugh. I kept turning pale.
They made turbine blades in the Shop and
consequently, graphite floated around in the
air and machine oil dripped from everything.
(Including Lester, but that's another story.)
He was rather detailed in his explanation
of my duties. "Now ya gotta keep these bowls
clean. Make sure there's enough soap and
paper towels, and above all keep 'em flushed.
Sometimes..."
I got the picture. As he was about to leave,
Lester seemed to make a small concession
toward reverence as he whispered "Oh yea,
here is the key to all the towel dispensers.
You'll be needing it."
Ah, I see that he recognizes responsibility.
That's Class. My own key the symbol of
penetrating masculinity.
I opened the door of the First bathroom.
There is no possible way to describe the
sheer, unadulterated filth that stared back at
me. Those bathrooms had been laying for
me. Word had gotten around that The Lazy
College Bum was coming.
As I made my way around the Shop with
mops, buckets, and all the paraphernalia of
my new trade, I actually felt some of the
long, cold stares that were sent my way by a
few of the people 1 passed.
I couldn't really tell at first what the men
working in the Shop werefeeling.Contempt?
Were they jealous at the opportunities I had
that they had been denied?
Yet I still felt like arookie. Unlike Lester, 1
found that I could never quite get the "handy
Glad trash liner" to fit over the rim of the
iillSlE 'Li
A blond on the front row looks boring'y
up from her cards and say's, "I don't think
that plan will work and besides they aren't
going to move me anywhere. I'm on the front
row, you know."
Mr. Fan looks for help from Franny but
gets only a one word summmary of the
situation: - "Bitch." she says. But Mr. Fan
can't except just that.
"Why are some people so selfish," he asks.
"Why so self-centered? Why can't everyone
help everyone else out?"
"1 don't know," Franny says. "1 don't ask
that question anymore."
Several pick-up games of basketball later,
Mr. Fan notices Fanny, who has arrived.
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says King
higher learning? Job opportunities? You
name it and evidence can generally be
produced to document the strides made by
blacks in recent years.
While no one would claim that the "goal"
has been reached (as measured in terms
either of equality of opportunity or equality
of results) and although the movement has
not progressed as rapidly as some of us might
like to see, it seems a bit outrageous to claim
so blindly that nothing is being done or has
been done in the past five years. If you have
any historical perspective at all, just look
can. Instead, I always ended up ripping one
end of the liner and then, completely
exasperated, 1 would blow the damn thing
up, tie it off with the "handy twist-tie," and
then jump down from a toilet seat and create
an explosion that rebounded off the tiled
walls.
The rush hour in the stables came just after
lunch. I found that my best recourse was to
retire back into the little room that housed
all the wares of a "Maintenance Engineer."
1 would scrunch up in the corner beside the
Ajax cans and bemoan my fate, crying out
for justice to be inflicted on those who had
perpetrated such a travesty as this upon me.
The saving grace of the entire job came
each afternoon. I would stack six rolls of
toilet paper into a pyramid, and then hurl
"New Improved Comet Cleanser" bottles at
it. At the time, it seemed a novel way to rid
myself of hostilities.
I managed to pick up one of the rarer
janitorial diseases Washerwoman's Knees.
They became stiff and waterlogged from
being down around the wash bucket for so
long. An occupational hazard was what
Lester called it.
So, around the beginning of the New Year,
I finally learned how to slide a mop bucket
across the floor without spilling a drop. 1
also picked up the art of slapping toilet paper
(Which Lester called at various times
checkbooks, diplomas, and Wipe Outs) into
stalls while reading the graffiti. (Under
"Jesus Saves," someone had penciled in "and
Pogo Joe Caldwell taps in for two points.")
The most unbelievable thing of all was the
accidental discovery that when you flushed
in a certain order, the rushing water gushed
out the William Tell Overture. I supplied the
"Hi Yo Silver Away!"
After a few spats, Lester and I formed a
warm, endearing relationship I gave him
back the key to the towel dispensers and Tie
was happy again. We learned to flush a duet
and he even asked me to come back and
work in the Forge Shop bathrooms all
summer. I told him to go grease his soap
dispensers.
" "
UN
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waving desperately from the stands. A lone
usher has appeared and stated that the
Athletic Department doesn't like people
down in the gym this early and what's more
these seats are going to close in at 10 o'clock.
M r. Fan leaps into action, waving his arms
wildly about as he argues loudly with the
usher. People begin to stare and to take note
of the guy. That joker actually plans to
defend the saved seats policy.
"What do you mean it's not fair to save
seats? Who're you to say what fair is? Just
who interprets fairness, buddy, come on tell
me. who?"
By now, Mr. Fan, who stands a foot
shorter than the usher, is giving the usher's
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edit unflattering
around.
I would think your editorial would be
particularly disheartening and unflattering
to those, both black and white, who have
made substantial personal investments, and
with some degree of success, in the civil
rights movement. 1 simply do not
understand your comment that race
relations are no better off in the U.S. today.
King had the courage, as you so aptly
pointed out, to speak the truth wherever and
whenever it needs to be spoken. Why don't
you heed his advice? Do you need to be cited
chapter and verse? The civil rights movement
fortunately has not been and is not dead!
Bruce K. Eckland
Professor of Sociology
Age no qualifier
lor driving risic
To the editor:
In his January 9th response to my
November 29th letter to the DTH regarding
discriminatory insurance rates, Gary
Thomas recognizes the absurdity of my
tongue-in-cheek comparison. Regrettably,
he fails to recognize the absurdity of his own
case.
For example, his statement that
"Automobile insurance rates are based
solely on a person's age rather than his
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shoulder little punches. Up in the stands,
Fanny and Franny are pretending they've
never seen Mr. Fan before.
He follows the usher into the lobby but
returns quickly. He swears he's seen Dean
Smith alone in the projector room viewing
films. Mr. Fan suggests they see if Smith
might use his influence to waylay the ushers.
Sounds like a good idea. So they bolt.
But when they get right up to the door of
the projector room, Mr. Fan freezes. He
can't go in. That's Dean Smith in there, he
says. THE Dean Smith.
Undaunted, the girls enter. They decide
that Smith might listen to two smiling
Carolina coeds. Timidly. Mr. Fan drifts in
behind them to face his idol the coach. Later.
Mr. Fan can't remember much except Smith
smiling and listening patiently as the girls
explained the situation. He does remember
Smith saying that students should be able to
go to school and to the games. That was
when Mr. Fan volunteered the information
that personally he'd just rather go, to the
games. Then to their amazement. Smith
called up the Athletic Department. What a
guy. thinks Mr. Fan.
At one o'clock Franny comes back from
class and the ushers still haven't closed in the
saved seats. She learns that while she was
gone Mr. Fan talked with the assistant
athletic director, was interviewed on the
local radio station and kissed and made up
with the usher. Now, he's back playing
basketball. He stas on the court the rest of
the afternoon.
Fanny and Franny snooze or walk around
the gym. They arc careful not to stumble
over TV cords or sleeping people.
At 4:50. with only 10 minutes left until
ticket time, Mr. Fan goes up for a basket and
gets his face knocked sideways. He seems
somewhat dazed but finally is able to creep
back into the stands. He sits down between
Franny and Fanny and begins to massage his
jaw. The girls say nothing when he asks if
they think it might be dislocated.
As they leave the gym, tickets in hand.
Franny and Fanny talk about eating and
supper. Mr. Fan realizes he can't chew so he
heads off in the direction of the infirmary.
But nothing has hurt his mouth, despite all
the exercise it's had that day. A true fan to
the end, he yells to the girls:
"Hey.'give you State and five!"
driving record" is doubly incorrect. First,
auto insurance rates do depend quite heavily
on driving records. Any person with
accidents and moving violations pays more
for auto insurance, if he can get it at all. than
a person the same age with an unblemished
record. Second, Mr. Thomas' statement is
incorrect because "age" and "driving record"
cannot be separated. Certainly, a 40-year-old
with 22 years of accident-free driving
experience has a better record than an 18-year-old
with a brand new license and one
week's experience.
Mr. Thomas also contends that "a person
50 years of age and a person 20 years of age
have an equal risk of having an automobile
accident." This statement is incorrect, as any
statistics listed by age will show. Perhaps
young people drive a lot more and thus have
more opportunity for accidents, perhaps age
brings caution, perhaps older people drive
less at night or use safer cars. For whatever
reason, the risks aren't equal.
Mr. Thomas raises a much more scary
issue by acknowledging that "Student
Government is only interested in fighting for
issues that will aid the majority of students"
and by suggesting that "over-40" students
look to outside organizations to further their
interests. 1 wonder if he so lightly dismisses
the needs and interests of students of other
minority groups. I wonder also whether his
statement truly reflects the Student
Government's charter and policy.
John L.S. Hickey
School of Public Health
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