Newspapers / Daily Tar Heel (Chapel … / April 1, 1975, edition 1 / Page 8
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f "ormnn 01o"n H.C. Ststo wins cccond straight NCAA titb over UCLA, 70-?3 Vcl. 2, Issua 1 i 1 83 years of dull editorials Tussdsy, April Focrs Day, 1975, Chspel HEJ, ficrtrt CsrcSina Fountted Apr. 1, 1C43 Military leader sought for housing post S Lumpotiti KIMiittSliHiHiBRSB''''' 00" jy gg Hmg IfcMSBMfc CoemM to wofEs for prnsomi by John Russell Assistant Features Editor In a sudden and dramatic move Monday Chancellor N. Ferebee Taylor announced the resignation of Dr. James D. Condie, Director of University Housing. Taylor's prepared statement disclosed that Condie resigned to accept a high post in state government. The appointment of a new housing czar will be made official by noon Wednesday, Taylor said. Sources in the chancellor's office later confirmed that Condie's vacated post will be filled by retired Air Force General Curtis E. LeMay. Condie came to UNC in 1973 from the University Of Minnesota pledging to correct dormitory overcrowding and deficit finances with an overhaul of the antiquated University housing policy. LeMay, former commander of the Strategic Air Command, was George Wallace's runningmate in the Alabama Governor's unsuccessful 1968 presidential bid. Contacted by phone at his estate near Omaha, Neb., LeMay said he had accepted the UNC post following hurried weekend' geir Nixon named as possible replacement by Julian Eisenhower United Mess International WASHINGTON Apparently angered by increasing congressional demand for his resignation, Secretary of State Henry Kissinger today announced Monday his resignation from the State Department. Later, Kissinger boarded Air Force Two and was flown to the People's Republic of China, where it is said he will serve as military adivser to the ailing Chairman Mao Tse Tung. - . : ; .. .. - .. Prior to his departure, Kissinger was quoted as saying, "1 am sure this will be a day long remembered in the annals of history. It is a great day for a people 1 dearly love." White House Press Secretary Ron Nessen read a prepared statement to the press in response to the resignation, stating, "An era in U.S. foreign policy has now passed." A later announcement simply stated that applications for the position of Secretary of State are now available to right-minded Republicans at the White House Desk. Congressmen responded to the resignation with speculation as to Kissinger's replacement. Many Republicans reportedly favor former President Richard Nixon for the job. "I think Nixon would be a fine Secretary of State," Sen. Barry Goldwater, R-Ari.,! said. "At this juncture in our nation's history, I think it is time we let bygones be bygones and give the man a second chance." "No one gets along with the Communists as well as Mr. Nixon," concurred Sen. James Buckley, R-N.Y. "We need a man who can convince them to leave our country alone." Some Democrats, however, disagreed. Speaker of the House Carl Albert, D-Okla., said, Ml think it would be a tragic mistake at this point to reopen any government job to a man who has betrayed his country in the Chapel Hill Places President Friday held an all-day conference Monday concerning the creation oj more jobs jor Chapel Hill unemployed. He jinally suggested that new workers could tear up the sidewalks, replace the sidewalks, tear 'em up, put 'em back down, tear 'em up . . . Former SCAU chairperson Janie Clark was spotted at Fowler's Saturday buying the high price spread ... Academic Affairs Committee Chairman Lisa Bradley actually stopped talking for 10 minutes Monday. Concerned friends rushed her to Town and Country Exxon for a battery recharge. , , . Newly-elected AWS chairman Grasshopper Ussery was seen buying a copy of Cosmopolitan Saturday at Jeffs Confectionary. "I only bought Cosmo? Ussery said defensively,' "because they were out of Playgirl . . . " Rumor has it that Patty Hearst is now hiding in the Bell Tower. Chapel Hill police have notified the FBI, but they replied, "We don't want to move in too fast. The chase is so much Jun. We've gotten to see a lot of America already ..." Chancellor Firefly Taylor was spotted Saturday night running through the Arboretum wearing dark glasses and a trenchcoat. It's not Halloween is it? The job must be getting to him ... . t Le?.!ay negotiations. Reliable sources in Raleigh report that! Condie will be appointed within the week to a cabinet-level post as Special Consultant on Housing for the state Department of Corrections. ; 1 Neither David Jones, state Secretary of Social Rehabilitation and Control, nor Gov. ; James Holshouser were available for comment. Former Commissioner of Corrections Lee' Bounds, now a professor of sociology at UNC, said he had not been informed of Condie's appointment, but expressed skepticism at any future success the trouble shooting administrator may achieve in his cpits fashion Mr. Nixon has. Let the poor fool rot in San Clemente; we have enough problems with the Republicans who are in the White House now." There is some question as to the necessity, for a replacement for Kissinger at all, since the former secretary has moved most of the State Department to China with . him. Sources report that sometime last week Kissinger had all the State Department files boxed, to be "moved to another part of the building," but no one is. sure where in Washington th&filesare. : However, Air Force personnel spent several days loading wooden crates onto Air Force Two, informed sources state. "For all we knew, it was simply necessary material for the secretary's next shuttle diplomacy effort," one Air Force official News briefs DTH inaugurates security force Determined to put an end to recent DTH office burglaries, editor Cole Campbell has. announced the formation of a D 77 security task squad. Six DTH staff members will don uniforms and caps beginning next week and will operate three two-hour shifts from midnight to 6 a.m. There will be two security "student officers" assigned to each shift, one patrolling the outside of the DTH complex and one stationed inside the office. Security squad members will armed with water pistols, rubber inflatable blackjacks, and Radio Shack "space patrol" walkie talkies. Campbell has designated himself commander-in-chief of the force and has set a modest salary increase of $750.00 monthly for his additional duties. Members of the security squad will be paid $1.25 per hour. "The campus police didn't care much for the idea," admitted commander Campbell, "but we're going ahead with the idea any way." The day after Campbell assumed office last week, a burglar entered the DTH office during the early morning hours through a secret trap door in the editor's office. The newspaper's seventeen typewriters, its UP1 telephoto and wire machines, all photo darkroom equipment, and file photographs of Richard Nixon were stolen. "I haven't yet figured out how in blazes the devil found out about the secret trap door," lamented Campbell, vowing an end to further embarassments. Elliott "Grabass" Warnock will serve as deputy Commander of the new unit. Ralph Irate . O'Neal denies coup In a prepared statement released Friday, presidential aide Mike O'Neal denied rumors that he has engineered a plot to depose Student Body President Bill Bates. O'Neal, former president of the Residence Hall Association and a Bates campaign worker, said he joined the Bates campaign because he shared Bates' concern for spending student money. "I have never thought of myself as president," O'Neal said, "and 1 have no intention of using my high position and influence in the Bates's organization to further my own ends." Bates has not made any public statement regarding either the rumors or O'Neal's denial. He has, however, expressed privately his concern over the bodyguard assigned to him by O'Neal. "This is not the way a new role. "1 hope Condie is a praying man," Bounds said. In answer to newsmen's questions after Taylor's statement, Condie acknowledged that he had discussed prison housing problems with both Jones and Holshouser, and had advised various Department of Corrections personnel unofficially for several months. "I think the inmate housing situation is bad now, but certainly salvageable," Condie said. "We've just got to reorient our thinking somewhat. Trustees, for example, don't have to live on the yard. 1 do think, however, that first offenders can get acclimated much easier to prison life in on-cellblock housing. "The thing has got to be run on a business like basis," Condie continued. "There's no reason we can't be operating in the black within four years. Lifers may be upset at first that they can't move closer to the ballpark or something, but you can't please everybody. Central Prison, is not like being at home with Mama." Condie denied rumors that his departure was pressured by a $1 million lawsuit brought against him by M elver resident Barbara Earnhart. whined. When asked about the status of the State Department files, Nessen replied that as soon as some could be located, the President planned to have them read aloud to him. In a related action, the White House announced today that it will recommend North Carolina Republican Senator Jesse Helms for appointment as ambassador to shrinking ally South Vietnam. "We think Helms can definitely fill this important job,"' a spokesman for the White House said. Helms expressed interest in the job, but seemed doubtful about the ambassadorial residence located in Communist-held Da Nang. ' "It is not that I fear for my own safety," Helms said. "I simply wish to be careful of the environment in which my children are raised." married man operates," sources quote Bates as saying. Student Supreme Court Chief Justice Darrell Hancock told the DTH Monday that coups were strictly forbidden under the Student Constitution. "I would be forced to issue an injunction stopping such an endeavor," Hancock said, "even if it would delay the operation of Student Government until next fall." Chuck Diarmid Mitchell to speak Former U.S. Attorney General John Mitchell will give the keynote address at UNC's 1975 commencement. The topic of Mitchell's speech will be "integrity in Government." Mitchell accepted the invitation after the UNC Board of Trustees unanimously and enthusiastically voted to approve the proposed invitation. "We're extremely grateful to have such a Dean Smith if' " (V 1 Condie aso denied rumors that complaints from Whitehead and M elver residents concerning dorm sign-up procedures had affected his decision. A Mclver coed reportedly broke her collarbone in the rush to avoid being closed out of University housing for the coming term. "That stuff at Whitehead and Mclver was strictly minor league," Condie chuckled. "Back in the Big Ten with those eighteen story high-risers we had real sign-up stampedes. Three or four trampled to death every spring reminded me of a Peruvian soccer match." Asked to judge the progress of the housing department under his direction, Condie said, "In sum, we came to bat with two strikes against us, but with hard work I think we've, moved the ball conclusively past midfield." The strongest opposition to his policies came from unexpected quarters, Condie stated. ' "Those international students are always up to some mischief," he said, "and when they get .together with the handicapped people you can always expect a fight. . "But I hold no ill-will towards them. It's over now. We've all got our crosses to bear." One significant effort of Condie's administration that he said has been overlooked by many students was his behind-the-scenes maneuvering to assume full control over coeducational living arrangements. Addressing last year's Winston dorm episode, Condie said, "This is the first time I've had to work in a situation where the Cro Magnon attitudes of a sexually primitive state like North Carolina threatened the autonomy of my housing policy." "It is naive for Monday morning quarterbacks to become obsessed with the idea that coed living encourages boys and girls to make love. That viewpoint ignored other problems, such as the fact that all-male living situations encourage sodomy. If some of these people could know the things I know about what really goes on in the Lower Quad, they'd think twice before condemning a little old-fashioned hanky-panky in Winston." Condie thanked Taylor, administrative colleagues and the hand-picked staff he wilf -pass on to LeMay. In ah emotional farewell to the University, his voice breaking at times, Condie expressed sadness at leaving the academic community. "Most of all, I will miss working with these wonderful young people," he concluded. distinguished public servant attend our commencement," commented Chancellor Firefly Taylor. Although keynote speakers receive no honorarium for commencement addresses, the UNC Administration has approved payment of $25,000 for Mitchell's appearance. "He wouldn't come for a penny less," admitted Taylor, adding, "but, hell fire, this guy's well known." Bobby "Grip" Byrd, dean of the UNC law school, expressed approval of Mitchell's selection and said that he plans to talk with the former attorney general about accepting an endowed law school professorship at UNC. Mitchell, who is currently being considered by the Senate for appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court, recently received the endorsement of retired U.S. Senator B. Everett Jordan and is also said to have widespread support in Congress for appointment to the high bench. Ralph Irate by John Dunlap Staff Writer In a shocking development, Dean Smith, head coach of the University of North Carolina basketball team, was fired as of midnight Monday. The announcement was made by Homer . Rice, Athletic Director at UNC. Rice released this statement to the press at noon yesterday. "We at the University of North Carolina are saddened to announce that Dean Smith has been fired as coach of the basketball team. "His release came about because of his decision to take on the coaching job of the Olympic team. We, the athletic staff of the University, had made it clear that Dean could only coach one team at a time. We do not condone moonlighting and regret Coach Smith's decision to coach at another institution. "In the meantime we are very pleased to announce that a successor to Dean Smith, has been found. He is a man familiar with the rigors of Atlantic Coast Conference' basketball. His name is Tates Locke, and, as you all know, he just recently resigned his job as basketball coach at Clemson University." - ... j 4 s i Cam new office by "Red" Davis Staff Writer Newly elected DTH editor Cole Campbell today announced plans for the construction of the new downtown offices for the Damn TarJieel staff. . ."T; The plans provide for the contraction of a ten-floor office complex, complete with penthouse editorial suite, indoor-outdoor swimming pool, fully equipped and staffed restaurant and private helicopter landing pad. Estimated cost for the construction of the new offices ranges anywhere from $2.6 million to $7.5 million. "Sure, the new offices will be expensive," Campbell said in an interview conducted at his cramped apartment. "But I feel the staff needs and deserves the extra room, especially if we are to put out the kind of paper this University wants. "Raising the revenue for the building will be easy," he said. "We'll simply up our advertising rates. I'm sure our advertisers will understand." Campbell denied rumors that exorbitant construction plans are simply a ploy on his part to divert student funds to aid financially ailing Roberts Associated, whose construction firms reportedly are seeking the lucrative construction contracts. "These rumors are simply unfounded," Campbell said. "No one has come forward with any proof that Roberts Associated contributed one cent to my campaign." Campbell referred to rumors that much of his campaign money in the recent editorial elections came from the offices of Roberts Associated, who, in the words of one high placed Student Government official, "are out to buy student leaders the way they've bought everything else in this University, including most of North Campus and the Bell Tower." ' " ' ' I vbell A. . . coaclh .Smmnttlh ffnired. Smith was not available for comment as he was in San Diego attending a meeting of national collegiate basketball coaches. Assistant basketball coach Bill Guthridge said of Smith's firing: "I am just shocked to hear this. 1 really had no idea it would happen. Dean was a great coach and a great . personal friend of mine. All I can say is that there must be some misunderstanding somewhere because I can't figure out why a coach of Dean's stature would be fired. I'm shocked." Freshman star Phil Ford remarked, "I can't believe it, man. How did it happen, what did he do? He was the greatest coach I've ever played for. All 1 can tell you is this, wherever Dean Smith is coaching I'd be glad to play. It may mean leaving North Carolina for Olympic University, but I'll do it." Mitch Kupchak, another Carolina basketball star, said, "1 don't know where Olympic University is located, but it must be a heck of a place to lure Coach Smith away from Chapel Hill." , ..However, Kupchak said he had no intention of leaving UNC to play elsewhere. Until Monday's firing Dean Smith was generally considered to be safely entrenched as coach at Carolina. His reputation as one Ccllls Ford 'enchilada Maria Con Carne Lumpotiti, Secretary of the Interior of the tiny Indonesian island of Layaplenti, spoke to an intimate gathering Monday on the subject of "Unquenchable Hunger." The presentation, sponsored by the Survival Symposium, was held in Kenan Stadium and attended by three students, two of whom were expecting to see a skin flick. Lumpotiti viciously attacked what the called "lukanaro unda" on the part of the United States, and referred to President Ford as a "Enchilada klcrte sayabba nincummpoopha." "Dsret inkat marlingnz in der bcket und en sgrew upzer behindka," Lumpotiti said. Throughout Lumpotiti's speech a large portion of the audience cried defiantly, "Take it all off!" The foreign interior secretary appeared visibly shaken, but continued with her speech without interruption. "Sgrew zee schtudanta hoovant titibanga. Datsa niegut. Miy camradah de Layplentichga havamucha banga!" she said. When asked if she believed it was necessary for both partners to have simultaneous orgasm, she replied "Zie camaradah en Layplentichga starvontsga! Zerr schrvled tummeeska, ees unhflla. Zey kutt knota rays undhardonska evnn'n ifza Ragel Welchange dist un bayleedanska inzer bair." announces complex When asked if he did not consider the plans a bit elaborate for a six page college daily, Campbell replied, "The DTH simply needs the extra room. The extra office space would give us the sort of incentive we need to attract top journalism students to the newspaper. . It's the same principle the Athletic Department uses in recruiting football players. "You don't hear anyone complaining about all the jocks in Ehringhaus living together in palatial comfort," Campbell concluded. "A newspaper needs the same sort of team spirit." Campbell further denied that he intends to remain in office for the next several years, whether students elections are held or not. "Pish tosh," commented the new editor. Other members of the staff seemed to concur with Campbell's opinion of the new offices. Although Managing Editor Elliott Warnock could not be reached for comment, having been hospitalized over the weekend for an overdose of Jack Daniels, Associate Editor Jim Grimsley said, "1 think it's a great idea. s "So what if the students complain a little, they get over it. They aren't nearly as upset at this as they will be when they find out we're only going to print a paper once a month now," Grimsley said. "Cole Campbell is a fine editor " agreed News Editor Jim Roberts. "Did you know he's going to buy me a new car? Fake front April Fools' Day! In 1946, the Daily Tar Heel published an entire April first issue entitled The Damn Tar Heel. DTH history is sprinkled with special pages and issues. It is our pleasure to bring you this updated edition. For more legitimate news, turn the paper over and begin with page 1. of the nation's great basketball strategists along with the yearly success of his basketball teams seemed to confirm that Smith could keep the head coaching job as long as he wishes. Smith had guided Carolina to a 23-8 record and a berth in the Eastern Regional. He was runner-up to Bobby Knight of Indiana in the balloting for coach of the year. Smith's overall record at Carolina was a decent 290 wins against 104 losses. Smith guided the Tar Heels to three straight ACC conference and Eastern Regional championships from 1967-69 and a National Invitational Tournament championship in 1971. Carolina's new coach Tates Locke said he was sorry to see Smith leave and felt there would be a certain amount of pressure in succeeding the former UNC coach. "I'm sure the press will hound me if I don't win 20 games every year like Dean did. But I'll tell you this," Locke continued, "I plan to take this team at Carolina to the National Championship, something Dean could never do. You can quote me on that. "To ensure incentive 1 also plan on giving every Carolina basketball player a car of his own. It worked at Clemson" Locke added.
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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April 1, 1975, edition 1
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