ft
16 The Tar Heel Thursday, August 4, 1977
Summ
er: paradise lost for DTH
Nothing is worse than nothing for a
newspaper.
The newsroom is a sad sight during
these days of nothing. Pale, tormented
looking people slither in and out of the
office with the same plaintive question:
"Anything happening?" The answer is
always the same.
The news editor sits quietly at her
desk. The last time she spoke was in
May when Graphics was dissolved for
the first time. She stares at the
telephone. . It never rings (Except for
once, a month ago. The poor girl was so
happy she nearly cried. It was a wrong
number.).
Joni Peters: Editor
Nancy Oliver: Managing Editor
Sara Bultard: News Editor
Karen Oates: Features Editor
Jeanne Newsom; Arts and
Entertainment Editor
Skip Foreman ; Sports Editor
L.C. Barbour: Photography Editor
Chapel Of The Cross
An Episcopal Church Serving U.N. C.
Since 1848. Next To The Planetarium
At 304 E. Franklin St.
Sunday Services: 7:30, 9:15, 11:15 a.m. & 5:15 p.m.
Weekday Eucharists: 7:30 a.m. Tuesday, 10 a.m. Wednesday,
5:15 p.m. Thursday; Evening Prayer
5: 15 other days.
The Rev. Peter James Lee
The Rev. Charles J. Cook
929-2193
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Little does she know that the phones
have all been disconnected because of
articles about Southern Bell.
The editor slumps into her office
every morning. There is no mail in the
mailbox. No letters to the editor. She
stays in the office with the door shut all
day long. Sometimes strange sounds
come from behind the door.
The photography editor does nothing
but take pictures of near-nude female
sunbathers. They all look alike after a
while.
Nothing happens in Chapel Hill in the
summer. Sometimes we draw straws to
see who will go out and commit a crime.
Sometimes we make up news. Bill Moss
is only a figment of our imagination.
There isn't really a Student Graphics.
We made it up.
So the associate editor comes in and
says, "Write me a sixty line column for
the edit page."
"About what?" 1 say. Already, a
tactical error. Now I'm trapped into it.
"Isn't there something you can write
about?" he begs.
1 laugh in his face.
Let's see there's already too much
Graphics, too much about gays, no
racial issue, nobody cares about
Southern Bell or utilities even the
thought of Chapel Hill drying up and
blowing away is unexciting.
I ask the managing editor for a
column idea. She looks like the word
"blurb." She swears too much. I am
scared to death of her. I must really be
desperate.
By the time I get away from her, I'm
obligated to research the (improbable)
closing of the University, go get my
fortune told (it cost five bucks), and
shine her shoes for a year. Editors are aH
alike. . :
What happens to all the excitement of
the regular year? Where are the four
course loads, the campus beer sales, the
Upendo Lounges of the past? What we
need is a good Mike O'Neal to piss
everyone off.
But then again, Mike O'Neal was also
made up just to excite everyone.
What kind of summer is it when Star
Wars is the social event of the season?
The features editor comes in. She has
a distant look on her face. She mumbles
something about an article on mating
habits of killer bees, and flees. Nobody
notices.
Someone suggests we run a twelve
page paper witrrnothing but a cover and
advertisements. The editor gets a
slightly glazed look in her eye and an
insane chuckle comes from her throat.
She runs out of the room laughing.
Nothing is happening. Nobody cares.
There really isn't a U niversity. We made
it all up.
Is it sixty lines yet?
Howard Troxler is a sophomore journalism
major from Burlington, N.C.
RAY
of Chapel Hill, N.C.
On the sunny side
of University Square
The
indefatigable
blazer . . . .
To wear with
jeans, pants,
skirts, dresses
In wide, wide ,
wale corduroy.
Beige, brown
or black 4 to 1 6.
$80.
Plaid wool slacks
are $40..
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