n
i
V
to
By TOM MOORE
For incoming freshmen and transfer students Carolina is a
new world, a world f ui! of things to be avoidad and things to
be enjoyed. UNC is a final resting place for all sorts of per
sonalities, a real-life melting pot where things don't blend
very easily. If you're not going to get burned, you have to
figure out what kind of people you want to hang out with
and what type of professors you want to study with. To help
unsuspecting new students out there, here is first, a look at
the professors. V-
The Liberal Profeson Very open minded, at least he
thinks so, the liberal professor can be found in all the depart
ments on campus. He usually knows his subject well but
really is more interested in talking about the "Golden Age of
the 19G0s," the coming apocalypse under President Reagan,
or how we must strive to build a more equitable world.
Worst of all the Liberal Professor believes that each class,
member has something valid to teach every other person in
the class, which is a real pain if you don't like being called .
on or having to listen to some other moron ramble on an on
about nothing. But on the bright side, the liberal professor is
usually terribly easy in grading; he gives simple tests' because
he can't bear to give a bad grade. Best of all, the liberal pro
fessor is a push-over when it comes to giving extensions on
papers and tests. All you have to do is tell some tall tale in
volving a horrible personal problem. Get his heart to start
bleeding.
it v tri!- y v -
-a - i
New
By M HUMMEL
PROVIDENCE, R.I. The opening of public schools hee
is still a little more than a month away, but planning for this
year $ programs and the question of how to pay for them
has become the center of controversy for many towns in
New England, as school officials have had to take most of
the summer to hammer out workable budget proposals.
Faced with spiralling inflation and a budget-cutting men
tality that has swept many communities in Rhode Island and
Massachusetts, officials have run into one of the biggest
monetary juggling acts of all 'time, . ...
High property taxes, which have provided the principal
funding in the past, are not in vogue this year. As a result, at :
many financial town meetings this spring, where most of the
town budget is formulated by a relatively small portion of
residents who bother to show up, voters decided to opt for a
reduction in school programs jrather than see another jump
in their tax rates.
At the time it seemed like a good idea. After all, there is
always some unnceded spending somewhere, right? But it
hasn't been until recently that the rcal.ty of the measures
taken several months ego has really begun to sink in. Now,
many superintendents and school committees are saying
that something is going to haveto go if they hope to balance
the bud-ft
TT.2 lr.ee.-c.:r.i IZ'zi Prcfasrcn After you sit in his class
for one day you wonder how he got tenure and dacide that
perhaps ifs not all that hard to get a PhD. This brand is
more boring and inept than your worst junior high teacher.
While you're sure you know the subject better than he does
you're bound to get a "C" in the class unless a minor
miracla occurs. The Incompetent Idiot likes to emphasize
worthless knowledge anything in the notes you're sure he
won't ask, he'll ask. He likes you to know stuff like the exact
number of newspaper chains in the United States and the
number of heart attacks per square mile in North Dakota.
Don't take this sort of professor, even if it means changing
your .majojv
;'Jh l22yciScnt Prcfcrcn You hear how easy his course '
is ancftake it only tQ hear him say the f irst day of , class that
his:"cburse isn't cn easy 'A '' Don't worry, he's just trying to .
weed some folks out Don't believe him or you'll miss out on
a chance to boost that waning CPA up a little bit and make
Mom and Dad proud.
Th I Jorizori-CroaderKng Professor: The rarest of breeds, a
professor under whom you actually learn something, who
makes you glad to come to class. You won't get more than
two or three of this sort in all of your four years of higher
education, but those you do study under are well worth
searching out And when you find .him it somehow enables
you to put up with all the dunderhead professors without
them perhaps the Horizon-Broadening Professor won't look
like such a shining oasis in an intellectual desert ,
Now that we've taken a short look at professors ifs time
to survey a few of the many kinds of students at Carolina.
The Time Monopolizer: Always has something to add in
class whether it be a supplementary comment to go along
with the professor's lecture or a long-winded battle with the
professor on how he's mistaken on some obscure notion that
really doesn't matter. Usually the Time Monopolizer is pre
law. The Geek-Nerd: Pale from too many hours in Wilson
Library, this brand of student has few friends, mainly
because he's an incredible bore. The only subject he can
converse on is the time he spends studying i.e., how many
pages he read last night and how much he has to do before
the next test.
Campus Politico: The Leftist Missed out on the glorious
'60s which breaks his heart. But he's outthere in the Pit
. rabble-rousing every time it looks like an injustice is being
done. Though he's having a field day with the Reagan Ad
ministration, Leftist was deeply disappointed that El
Salvador didn't turn into another Vietnam. Well, there's
- always the next Third World country.
Campus Pc'Hjcg: The Rightist. Happy that hisboys are in
power now in Washington, the Rightist doesn't campaign as
vocally as the Leftist for this political concerns. Though in
many ways he's more sickening, especially since about the
only things he can really get excited about are ending infla
tion and bringing back prayer in the schools.
The Fan: Came to Carolina for two reasons: football and
basketball. Still, basketball is his real religion. Worships the
Almighty Dean Smith and his Four Corners Gospel. All the
mm
T
1 1 i
: '
K w -
Fan can talk about is them Heels. And though his number
are legion, some of the most zealous Fans pass out of the
holy gates of Carolina rather quickly since they're too busy
attending games to ever study.
The Druggie: He sits on the wall across from the library
with his shades on 'watching the world go by. Nothing
bothers him. Why should he worry; he's feeling fine.
The Greeks: Joe Fraternity and Susie Sorority: Did you
ever see Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Well there's this
theory that aliens are taking over people's bodies and turn
ing them into conformist morons who wear garish colors and
who talk about, getting a job at a major corporation and
"debutante balls and how much money their father makes.
Watch out you might be next.
The Good-Timer: Comes to UNC because Mom and Dad
aren't there to supervise (prevent) his every move he goes on
a hedonistic field day. You never see him studying because
he's too busy enjoying drink, drugs and sex. Usually after the
first semester he's back at home working in the mill or at the
used car lot and misses out on interaction with all the rest of
the fun Carolina crows.
Tom Moore, a senior histofy major from Greensboro, is arts
editor for The Daily Tar Heel. ,
ois mavr iace mviaaon w
10 ,
R4
That cutting of that something in most cases sports and ,;
extracurricular activities has led to an idea that is catching
on here and may spread to other parts of the country, if it
hasn't already been adopted.
Officials are, now proposing a 'user fee', which, in effect
charges students who want to play sports. Outrageous? Many
people thought so at first, but now that details are being
made available, some people have begun to accept if not
like the idea.
The formula is simple: in Cranston, a city of 70,000 just
south of Providence, student athletes are going to have to
pay $25 to play sports, starting in the fall. But the fee will
only raise an additional $20,000 out of a $200,000 budget
. needed to finance the entire sports program.
The fee also raises questions about what would happen if
a student wanted to participate, but couldn't afford the price.
For that reason, and sevcral'others, the commissioner of ed
ucation in the state has issued several opinions saying that
he doesn't think the special fees would stand up if tried in
court .
Cut at this point there are few alternatives. Some parents
have said that children learn more on the field than they do
through certain special programs in school that they feel
should be cut instead, but those parents stand in the distinct
minority. Even sorop of the diehard ltt!e league fathers realize
that Sfxxts will be the first to ret the axe in a no-fni's bud 't
In East Greenwich, a residential community about 10 miles
south of here, the school committee has taken the user fee
one step further and debated last month whether to begin
charging school children to ride, the buses. Th unsuccessful
proposal would have tacked a 10cent fare on every ride
approximately $36 per student per year,
"I'm a great believier in pay-as-you-go," said one commiStet
member who advocated die fare. But four members felt df
ferently. "The school system belongs to all of us," another
member said. "
In the meant lire, school officials across the state are
working hard to.finalize plans for this fall s sports programs.
The details are not going to be easy to work out because
met 'of the plans are venturing into uncharted wafers And
there is a very vocal minority that would love to do anything
to see the sports programs saved.
Some principals are worried about the effect on morale
the cuts will have, and whether students will have an ade
quate release in thoir spore time. As one student put it. "For
a lot of kids, the only reason to get tip in the mor n.ng is be
cause they have football or basketball to look forw-ird to I
don't know whufs g'.-ing to happen this year"
lim Hummel, a semm outmlism ;ind ix)!;tkjl cw m.)"or
from Crafton, Mas . i editor of The Da ly fr Mm-
Thursday Au;uit (j,'WMrlhe Tar Heel IDA