Thursday, July 5,1984
Page 11
TO
ills l& lb
Winter gets no respect
Ben Perkowski, Editor
Lynn Davis, Managing Editor
Jon Smith, News Editor
Allen Michie, Arts & Features Editor
Michael Persinger, Sports Editor
Jamie Moncrief, Photography Editor
Staff: David Biddell, Tim Cafferty, Joel Curran, Jamal El-Hindi, Erjc K. Englebardt,
Ivy Hiluard, Eddie Huffman, Lori Nickel, Andy Miller, Mary Ridgill, Marjorie Roach,
Virginia D. Smith.Camiixe Chandler Valerjo, Scott Wharton, Art Woodruff, Fannie
Zolucoffer, Mike Schoor, assistant sports editor. Business & Advertising: Anne Fulcher,
general manager; Tammy Martin, student business manager; Paula Brewer, advertising
manager; Mike Tabor, advertising coordinator; Terry Lee, student advertising manager;
Trish Gorry, advertising representative; Brenda Moore, production coordinator.
SecretaryReceptionist: Debbie McCurdy. Printing: Hinton Press, Mebane.
Soviets play politics
The Soviet's desire to talk about banning space weapons, but
not about nuclear arms reductions, and Reagan's apparent
willingness to talk about anything when it comes to U.S.-Soviet
relations might lead the overly optimistic to believe that the Cold
War is on the brink of a major thaw. However, it should be kept
in mind that Moscow is not known for dramatic shifts in foreign
policy, especially when the U.S. is involved.
Although there is no question that the chance for a U.S.-Soviet
exchange on even the singular issue of space weapons should come
as good news, the fact remains that the Soviets' intentions might
be more politically motivated than some want to believe.
For the past several months the Soviet Union has been very
critical of President Reagan's policies, going so far as to pullout
of the Olympics and calling the possibility of future talks with
Reagan "almost impossible." In short, Russia has been doing its
best not to do anything that might help Reagan get re-elected.
Yet, now the Soviets are proposing talks on banning space
weapons realizing that this could potentially give the appearance
(in the eyes of American voters) that Reagan has been effective
on U.S.-Soviet relations. Judging by the anti-Reagan rhetoric which
has been streaming out of Moscow the last few months, it is
reasonably likely that the Soviets did not expect Reagan to agree
to such talks (thus politically damaging his chances in November)
based on his expressed interest in a space-oriented ('Star Wars')
defense system.
Reactions from the Soviets to Reagan's appeal to broaden the
talks to include nuclear arms reductions gives credence to the view
that the Soviets are more interested in putting Reagan on the
defensive than actually sitting down and discussing nuclear arms
control. The Soviet news agency announced that the United States'
plan for talking about nuclear arms reductions was "totally
unsatisfactory," alleging the White House was trying to thwart
the talks by raising the nuclear arms issue.
It appears the Soviets think they can work themselves into a
no-lose situation. Either Reagan rejects their offer, thus
perpetuating his reputation for having an unreasonable hard line
with the Soviets; or he accepts and the Soviets get a chance to
negotiate in an area where they are beginning to feel inferior.
In fact, one White House official was quoted as saying, "It is
clear from what they've (the Soviets) been saying for some time
that they are deeply concerned about American technology
outstripping them in not only anti-satellite weapons, but in strategic
defense systems against incoming missiles."
Reagan's willingness to talk just might have caught the Russians
off guard enough to give them the uncomfortable feeling that their
political games arenH succeeding and four more years of dealing
with Reagan is increasingly possible.
Orient new students
Rising freshmen beginning their college careers at UNC this
summer are being robbed of some practical information and
sentimental tradition. Summer school should not be expected to
be a condensed carbon-copy of the regular term; there are many
intrinsic differences, but incoming freshmen and transfer students
who arrive before a summer term are potentially just as confused
and possibly intimidated as those who arrive in the fall.
There are very limited opportunities for freshmen, or anyone
else, to meet with their academic advisers in the general college
to work out important questions and misunderstandings about
often ambiguous requirements. There are no orientation counselors
to explain drop-add, give tours of the town and campus and relay
vital off-the-record tips about college life away from home. RA's
should not be expected to fill this gap for all of their residents.
There are meetings held on the Sunday before each summer
session, but the ceremonies and information given there are far
from complete. New students cannot be expected to know the
right questions to ask without a more complete indoctrination
into the complete UNC way of life. Freshmen and other new
students should have the option of moving on campus one or
two days early to participate in a scaled-down orientation program
that includes more than enough academic and housing information
and personal contact with a summer orientation counselor.
By WA YNE THOMPSON
A blast of 90-degree-hot air
struck me full in the face as I
emerged on the escalator from the
innards of the Capitol South
Metro station in Washington,
D.C. "Oh, honey, don't you just
love the summer here?" a tourist
from Minnesota asked her hus
band, two steps below me. "Yes,"
he answered, "it's so warm."
For 30 minutes on the Metro,
the pair had portrayed Minnesota
as a remote arctic province,
frequented only by those souls
who yearned to see a car buried
in a snowdrift. Winter is miser
able, they concluded. Summer is
marvelous.
Their remarks reminded me of
a day from my early teens when
I had just finished reading: "What
is so rare as a day in June? Then
if ever come perfect days."
Across the kitchen, my mother
was laughing at something out
side the window in the backyard.
With tears welling in her eyes, she
said, "If you want to ask someone
about splendid summer days and
romantic summer nights, go ask
your father now."
I went out the back door in a
hurry and found The Lawn Thing
my dad, with equal amounts
of dirt and grass mulch clinging
to his sweat-soaked body
ruminating over the decline of
quality control at Toro grass-bag
headquarters. "Isnt this some
thing?" he asked. While I didnt
have the heart, or the nerve, to
tell him that The Lawn Thing was
indeed something I had never
seen before, his several observa
tions on the indignity of June and
the rest of the "worthless"
summer months have convinced
me to this day that summer is not
something to look forward to for
nine months of the year.
The Rodney Dangerfield sea
son, winter, is by far the best.
Although winter's bare branches
ana icy winds have earned it
literary associations with death
and the tag "cruel-hearted,"
examination will show it to be the
season.
Winter has no flies or bees or
gnats. On my motor scooter, IVe
come to understand what some
motorcycle owners mean when
they say you're a moving target
on a two-wheeler. Last week, I
took a direct hit from a June bug
at top speed. Imagine what it was
like ordering a "Double" with
everything at Wendy's with a
green-red blob stained into a
Yamaha tennis T-shirt. I was just
waiting for someone I knew to
take one look and ask, "Tough
match, huh?"
Winter is easier on the check
book. With the exception of
France and some California
beaches, we all cant beat the heat
gallivanting around as nudies all
day. That means running the air
conditioner Duke Power's
answer to OPEC.
The hottest IVe ever been was
on the Amtrak Silver "Sweat
Express" Bullet to Jacksonville,
Fla., from Roanoke, Va., with no
AC. "How hot is it in our car?"
Mom asked the porter. "Here's
some ginger ale, lady," he said.
"You don't want to know."
In winter, if you're cold just sit
by the fire with a hot toddy or
put on a sweater like Jimmy
Carter and Dan Rather. If you're
hot, parade around your apart
ment in Bermuda shorts and a
polo shirt. Save energy.
Summer means sunburn and
embarrassment. Unfortunately, I
was born barrel-chested at
least that's the excuse Mom gave
for my mid-latitudinal bulge.
Now the SunkistSoloflex kids
are getting good vibrations every
time I turn on the TV or the car
stereo. Who wants to go to the
beach with a bunch of G.Q.'s?
And they all have Bain de Soleil
tans and white teeth.
Four summers ago, I thought
I had the perfect answer to my
burn-but-never-tan skin. I
bought a bottle of this creme
which the label said wouldn't
come off when you went into the
pool or the ocean. Later, when
my buddies and I went to get
some hushpuppies and other
fixin's for some flounder we
caught off the pier, I noticed I
was getting a lot of attention.
Then I looked at my right arm.
The creme that wasnt supposed
to come off in the water had in
some places. Now, I was the only
guy at Myrtle Beach with the
triangle tan white triangles
alternating with tanned skin.
Finally, there's the old myth
about love under the summer
moon. Look at all the weddings
in June, one might say. But how
many couples would choose fair
June if it wasn't vacation time?
Wait until winter to get mar
ried and have a honeymoon in
a lodge overlooking snow-capped
mountains, with no mosquitoes
or ticks to contend with on those
walks through the woods. I never
have understood why greasy,
sweaty, suntan-lotion kisses,
rather than the tingling kisses of
winter, are held in such high
esteem by the poets.
So as not to be called a hyp
ocrite if I am seen in running
shorts and glistening with Bain
de Soleil Maximum Sun Protec
tion 10, IH take part in the
summer ritual as I have every
year, in buy a Sony Walkman
for the hours by the pool, and
111 continue doing daily sit-ups
so I won't get laughed off Myrtle
Beach in late July.
But don't expect me to say
anything good about the summer;
my thoughts will, as always, dwell
on ways to market winter as the
superior season.
Wayne Thompson is a senior
political science and journalism
major from Roanoke, Va.
Friendly advice?
There are a lot of things incoming students need to know about Carolina and
the college experience. If you have any words of wisdom for the freshman
and transfer students who will receive a mail-home copy oThe Tar Heel
July 19, please type it up and bring it by the DTH office in the Union ask
for Ben Perkowski. We'll print the best stuff