DTHOmnibusThursday, March 30, 19899
In a different way, Sneetches provide 'happy'
By RANDAL BULLOCK
Staff Writer
Tuesday, midnight - the tire
less record reviewer, soaked in
coffee, is beginning to get second
thoughts about this entire pro
cess, waxbail etal.
A Thursday night in the not-so-distant
past, midnight - the
innocent reviewer begins to get
not the first, but as it turns out,
perhaps the last subtle hints that
maybe the void into which his
murmurings are spewed is just a
bit too void-like, almost uncomfor
tably so.
Re-, one GH Scott-Heron concert,
sparsely attended. Which is not to
imply that the show transcended
all other forms of reality that may
have happened that night, but
that there is such a thing as
respect, and by association, a lack
thereof as well The empty seats
mocked all that is good in this
world.
The thousands of records that
have rolled across my body since
I began writing this column have
cut their own groove in my flesh,
threatening virtually to cut me in
half.
General College
By ANDREW LAWLER
Staff Writer
. After a week-long hiatus.
General College returns with an
all-new episode.
Scheming Sarah is back, arriv
ing just after Lisa and Joseph's
plane crashes, killing Joseph and
hospitalizing Lisa. Chris and
Sarah plan to pin Sarah's abduc
tion on the late Mr. Wngsley by
leaving Sarah bound in his room
and leading Mary Catherine to
discover her.
Meg's attempts to cheer Kyle
up fail miserably he tells her
to take a hike.
Brendan confronts Mary
Catherine at her parents' home.
She tells him their marriage has
no chance of succeeding, inex
plicably, Brendan and Mary
Catherine begin to kiss and end
up making it.
Margot informs Simone that
her father is dying. Simone, who
is bitter over her teen-age rape
by Dad's best friend which
resulted in pregnancy, couldnt
care less. Dear old Dad had
reacted sensitively to the rape
by calling her a whore. But
Margot reveals that Dad lied
when he told Simone one of her
twins was stillborn.
Mark and Randy discover
fugitives Courtney and Jason
hiding in the woods. Mark offers
his grandmother's inn in S.C as
Answers
ACROSS: 4. UMPIRE
7. MANTRA 9. AROMATIC
10. STUPOR 11. IDEAS
12. CALABASH 15. TRUANCY
19. AUTARKY 21. OVERTURE
23. SODOM 25. OPAQUE
27. SINISTER 29. SUMMER, v. '
30. STOKER v.; v,v.v v.
They tell me that the album is
on the way out, anyway, and that
I should "convert" to tapes and
CD's. As anyone who knows me can
tell you, my only talent is the
ability to buy records. I was hoping
l could do this until I collapsed
under my own weight, instead, I
am a dinosaur, waiting for my
food supply to dwindle completely
so l can fail to the ground and
begin rotting.
And a half-filled arena for Gil
Scott-Heron confirms my most
vivid nightmares. The voices that
scream at me from deep inside are
right this town is owned by the
Connells. By Love Tractor. By
10,000 Maniacs. (Did I mention
R.EM. . . . and l feel fine?)
I am a dinosaur. I cannot even
write a review using the "inverted
pyramid" like I'm supposed to. UNC
has one of the best journalism
schools in the country and here
I am, unable to write like this
"The Sneetches are a band from
San Francisco and their debut
album harks back to simpler times.
They play simple, ingenious pop
tunes that might remind the
listener of the Beatles, if the
a hiding place - a highly illegal
but noble action that Courtney
and Jason agree to readily.
Trisha and Tonya discover
from Zoe that Jack and Alex are
back together. Priscilla, over
hearing this, tells them she has
some news of her own about
the two lovebirds.
Tessa tells Trisha and Tonya
she was the one who plugged
Trevor and is taking advantage
of Anne's amnesia to blame
Anne for the deed. Damon
Davenport calls to have his
Davenport sisters come to his
club to pick up frumpy runaway
sister Tara, who has just arrived
to enroll at UNC
Alex tells Trip it's all over
because she's back with Jack.
Jason's brother Josh, a More
head finalist, hears from zoe
that his brother is a fugitive
murder suspect.
Detective Hooper interro
gates Anne and Tessa.
Billy and Paige decorate Billy's
younger brother's (Charlie's)
new apartment. Charlie will be
attending UNC
Lovely, innocent Violet, we
learn, led a double life as a
hooker for Damon Davenport.
Damon demands she peddle her
wares for him or hell tell Ken.
her true love, ail about it.
"Curioser and curiouser," said
Alice, indeed she was right. Stay
tuned for the next exciting
episode of General College.
from page 5
DOWN: 1. DART 2. STOP
3. PATRIA 4. UXORIOUS
5. PEACE 6. RUINS 8. NAUGHT
13. ABBA 14. AIN'T 16. NEWT
17. YEAR 18. PROMPTER
19. YOGURT 22. EGOIST
23SAINT24. DRINK 26. ARMS
Beatles ate a lot of sugary things
(ha ha). It also might remind one
of the Partridge Family. (When
unscrambled, "inverted pyramid"
yields "I did pervert many" now,
who is the I in that sentence?) This
record is enjoyable, sort of for
when you want to get away from
it all and just listen to good music
l recommend it. ". . . and I consider
that maybe if I had only gone to
a liberal arts college .
The black obelisk in "2001: .A
Space Odyssey" her name is Bea
trice. (But they are from San
Francisco, and they do sound like
the Partridge Family.) For anyone
under the age of 25, the Partridge
Family is, in a sense, primal. There
were the dreams of Susan Dey's
legs, David Cassidy's winning smile
dreams that belied the pre
pubescent spring from whence
they sprang, dreams that foretold.
CM R M Pi ft
Mariakakis
Restaurant and
Bakery
Famous in Chapel
Hill since 1963, offers a
variety of famous Greek
pastries and breads made
fresh daily in its on
premises bakery. Pizza is
the restaurant's trade
mark but many authen
tic Greek dishes are
offered along with sand
wiches, homemade
barbecue, chicken,
seafood and 60 brands of
domestic and imported
beers and 25 wines.
Marco Polo
International
Restaurant.
Chefs from Italy and
China prepare fabulous
dishes from the finest
provinni veal, stuffed
clams, to szechuan
shrimp. Thailand
chicken and spicy In-.
; diati curried ;dishes;
"And the Sneetches came in,"
they will say, "and they wiped the
slate clean. They are the unmoved
mover, unabashed, scrubbed, dan
gerous. Music will never be the
again."
"But wait a second," the atten
tive reader says. "Are you saying
that Beatrice is Hal and Hal, Bea
trice?" The light fills the face, the
face falls. "But - but - but that
means ..."
Exactly.
The "musically-minded" reader
takes up the fight. "But '2001
didnt have a happy ending, and
the Sneetches are happy music
This does not fit into my "inverted
pyramid understanding of the
not-so-inverted pyramid struc
ture of the music business. Besides,
movies without happy endings are
no fun. The Partridges didnt play
pleasing the most criti
cal palate. Come for a
casual lunch or delight
ful dinner. The average
price of our 100-item
dinner menu is about
$8.00.
II Palio
Ristorante
There is no spectacle
in all of Europe like The
Palio in Siena, Italy. In
Chapel Hill there is no
finer dining than that at
The Siena Hotel. II
Palio serves breakfast,
lunch and dinner. Its
highly trained chefs
prepare magnificent
Italian cuisine that is
served by attentive staff
in an elegant setting.
Brass Rail
Come enjoy "Magic at
Your Table" on Friday
and Saturdays at The
Brass Rail, 1301 E.
Franklin St. 933-1323.
Steaks, grilled seafood
arid chicken dishes -' 4,v
pop music
any of their own music either, so
they were just puppets."
Puppets? Like puppets in the
sense of "we are just being manip
ulated by outside forces, our heads
are made of wood, when they tell
you to dance, I dance" puppets?
Oh, I'm sorry. My mistake. I must
have lost my own head for a
second. That often happens when
I defend the powers that be.
For indeed: all accusations of
conspiracy are absurd and a
defense in their favor is needed
and noble. Conspiracy implies
secrecy. Hal and Beatrice are quite
aboveboard, coupling openly and
wetly to bring you the very best
for your music dollar, and the
reviewers to tell you exactly what
that is Invariablv it will not be the
p. sometimes irs aii we Have.
served in an elegant
atmosphere provide for
a special evening that
won't kill your budget.
Colonel
Chutney's
When it's time to
relax! Serving gourmet
burgers, super salads,
fresh seafood, prime rib,
grilled steaks and
chicken, homemade
desserts and lots of fun.
The best late night
menu avbailable seven
nights a week until one
a.m. at reasonable
prices. PATIO NOW
OPEN! Just a block
from campus, 300 W.
Rosemary St. 942-7575.
i i j i m
27.USER
, v r v.
f , I - . t