Newspapers / The daily Tar Heel. / Sept. 7, 1989, edition 1 / Page 14
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DTH Omnibus Page 7 Thursday September 7, 1989 Page 6 DTH Omnibus Thursday September 7, 1989 A fan's guide to the uidigenoiiis wildlife of Kenan Stadium Go bananas'! Go, go bananas 9 ! r v -vv i f . v4 ; This is Ramses, the blue-horned ram. O.K., we'll admit it. We don't know why he's our mascot either Carolina By JUSTIN McGUIRE and TOM PARKS Special to Omnibus It's that time of the year again. You know, the leaves changing colors and dropping to the ground. Back'to-school sales. Sweaters. And of course, football. In these parts, football means going to Kenan Stadium on Saturdays to drink, chill with the local wildlife and sometimes even watch the game. Checking people out is almost as popular among the "sports fans" as watching the field. With this in mind, we present the first-ever field guide to all varieties of the North Ameri can, powder blue-bellied sapsucker, the Carolina football fan. After picking up your over-priced hot dog and generic blue cup, saun ter into the stadium and get ready for a fine afternoon of fan-watching. The Yuppie-dressers are the easiest to find. They wear coats, ties and dresses. (That is to say, some wear coats and ties, and some wear dresses.) They are also known for their strange post-game rituals which involve sev eral migrations between Frat Court and Spanky's. The Carolina Fever fans are the easiest to hear because they cheer from the moment the team runs through the balloon tunnel until the last "Go to hell, State!" after the I If I''! 1 Football: alma mater. They are also famous for getting seats that are usually reserved for somebody higher in the Kenan hierarchy, namely the Rich Alumni (see Rams' Club). A Carolina Fever fan who gets a paragraph all to himself is the Mikeman, because he brought such taste and subtlety back to Carolina Stupid David Letterman Takeoff Top five suggestions from the UNO Athletic Department to stir interest in Carolina Football and increase sports revenue: 5. A halftime slam-dunk contest 4 . Defense armed with lacrosse sticks 3. All woman team coached by Anson Dorrance (We're number ONE!!) 2. Better seats for alumni t. More games with Georgia Tech football cheers. Plus, ANYBODY with the nickname "Noogie" has to get special treatment (We hear his other two choices for nicknames were "cootie face" and "wedgie.") Another frequently-spotted vari ety of Kenan wildlife is the Alumni. Spectators are half the fun These people appear everywhere on game days with their full brood in tow. I hey are known tor pointing at everv camDus dormitory and repeat ing boring stories that begin with, "When I used to live there..." The alumni often appear intoxicated, but are not so uncouth as to bring flasks into the stadium. They simply stand by their station wagons and drink domestic beer out of cans with their friends. The rich alumni, alias Rams Club members, are a whole different species, however. They have good seats in the Kenan Field House and generally don't let it hang out in the parking lot. The Professional Football Fans wouldn't leave before the end of the game if there was a fire; they're here to watch some football. Most come with Sony Watchmen to check the Notre Dame and Nebraska scores on slow downs. Football is rough sport, but in Kenan the violence is not limited to the playing field. The Korean War caused fewer injuries than the Card Section, where fans try to imitate Ninja warriors by hurling cards at innocent Band members. What was going on when they thought this up? "Really guys, giving sharp cards to thousands of drunken, rowdy foot ball fans is a great idea!" One bird you won't see at a Caro- Here's the guy who sits behind you and rings the cowbell throughout the entire game Top ten cheers you love to hate (or vice versa) 10. Chew tobacca, chew tobacca, chew tobacca, spit. Our team's great! Your team's not (or "snot as the case may be)! If you're not going to say it, ditch the cheer. OK? 9. We forced the opposition to relin quish their possession of the ball . . . And we got the ball. And we got the ball. And we got the ball. And we . . . Just think. Our cheerleaders practice this one. 8. Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar. All for the Tar Heels, stand up and holler! No kiddin'. We were subjected to this fine piece of infantile rhym- Una football game this season is our famous Ex-coach. And what a wacky guy ne is, too. Doy, uiu we pun uuc over on Kent otate or wnai: On a serious note, we hope the whole UNC family, from the lowli- est freshman to the most Grand and Exalted Rams Club member, learned something from the Dick Crum de- Program on head ketps hair dry, frow rain Anctef tool's ilres chC) Dripping chili -dog (stoten from best friend) Flask very poorly hmer in treble ox i v camera or)ly) girlfriend mM'y with M icbz or the stadium ing until last year when the cheer leaders discovered that we hated it as much as they did. 7. Kaopectate, Kaopectate, stop that run! This is not the thing you want to hear after three Cokes and six chili-dogs. 6. "That 'Sodomy cheer" Used at one game last year and alnfost got our beloved Mikeman fired. 'Nuff said. iNUttSaid. Go that way! Go that way! Go MMM Ml 1 I I I V m Omnibus Board if)irHf; 1 v. .v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.-l,.., -n- --r t-i .-.T. . .n ,,. bade. Namely, you should never fire any ACC coach who comes within iuui yvuiu u. utaiulg . imjLuau team, uiow games in a row he drops, Remember folks, those who don't learn from history are destined to repeat it. Viva Mack Brown! Piece of card tend head LlGo Hanana" . cheer (shewn here In md'auuMgghnl J Coupon tcken from ai someone's head Wt pom-pom dinging like Seaweed Also wt 6hoJr)' Tailgatty yare(t Vjonderim Ajhat hatpenea to hib flatk that way! Go that way! Go that way! Let's face it. If our team needs to hear this cheer, we can pack it in and go home. 4. Dismember them. Dismember them. Tear off their arms and legs! Freddie's personal favorite. 3. That's all right. That's OK, The last desperate attempt to salvage what's left of our I ar Heel dignity while losing miserably for the fifth time. tu; ;c o crrof rWr. Shnrr. 1 luo 10 a ' sweet and to the point, but do we iwecu anu UJ nit -- have to yell this at every single game I Aif if ' --n.. l - w .VU . Si H- ti I f i - ' I U- II ili-Li 1.. v- The 1989 Carolina Fever poster children thank you for your support Taking spirit to the open road By JOHN BLAND Staff Writer Football weekends provide college students with a perfect reason for getting away from it all. Pile six or seven guys in a VW with six or seven cases of Old Style and a Big Grab bag of Fritos and you've got an adventure-in-waiting. Or an accident-in-waiting. But before you get on the inter state, you need to find somewhere to go. Pick a weekend when the foot ball team is playing away, preferably in a college town, and point your car in that direction. Unfortunately, the Atlantic Coast Conference is not a great conference for college towns. College Park is too ugly and too near Washington, Charlottesville's too obnoxious, Atlanta's too big, Winston-Salem's Atlanta S tOO Dig, W lnblUIl-oaieiu a too boring, and Raleigh and Durham are too close. And when heading into no matter who we are playing at the time? And the number one lovehate cheer: Go bananas. Go, go bananas. Go bananas .Go, go bananas . You lean to your left. You lean to your right. You peel your banana and uh! take a bite! Didn't most of us learn this one in Elementary School? The cheer leaders must have been hard up for new cheers that dav. But it s almost , . . worth having to sit through it just to , j Li watch 10 thousand students go uh! Clemson, don't blink! If you do, you'll acquainted with floors. Spending a wind up in Georgia. weekend cooped up in a Motel 6 is There are a couple of rules you not the way to go. The most fun a need to follow before you can have a road trip can be is when you go some successful road trip weekend: place where you know absolutely no 1. Don't empty your bank ac one. And if worse comes to worse, count. The whole point of taking a dorm lounges always have really road trip is to see just how far you comfortable couches, and free show can get on $3.58 and four Barrel of ers. Fun tokens. The key word to remem- 4. Lose track of time. Remember, ber when amongst strangers is you've got from Friday night to "mooch." The key phrase to forget is Monday morning during which you "When you get up to Chapel Hill, can get as lewd, crude and obnox give me a call." After all you'll never ious as you want. Forget about that see these people again, which is as it midterm, skip a couple acts of "Rich should be. ard II;" in general, forget you even 2. Don't be overly obnoxious, go to school. You'll feel refreshed Sure, root for your team. If you're in come Monday. Clemson it won't make a whole lot 5. Lie. About everything and to of difference anyway, but be loud, be everyone, especially to members of rude. Let them know just how ugly the opposite sex and the law enforce- A (for oil fKiir An if mpnt rnmmnnifv. uiciugc icaiiy ia. i uiu on, uiv, v ... in Chapel Hill. Make fun of the red- necks, the women, the academics, De supenor. out De prepaicu iun like hell if necessary. 3. Never pay for a room, rtnd a friend, make a friend, pick up a are college students. You can do any really gullible girl (or guy). Get thing you want. ,. 6. Leave the driving to someone else. Just make sure it's someone you crust, winerwiue you uugui cnu on a milk carton. Most of all, remember this: You Continued on page 8
Sept. 7, 1989, edition 1
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