Page 10 DTH Omnibus
Thursday April 12, 1990
CINEMA
As Waters loses touch, Depp stones
Figures indicate total gross
1. Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles
$51.0 million, 2 weeks
2. Pretty Woman
$44.3 million, 3 weeks
3. Ernest Goes to Jail
$6.1 million, 1week
4. The First Power
$5.7 million, 1 week
5. The Hunt for Red October
$83 6 million, 6 weeks
6. I Love You to Death
; $4.0 million, 1 week
7. Driving Miss Daisy
$3.2 million, 17 weeks
8. Cry Baby
$3.0 million, 1 week
9. Opportunity Knocks
$6.4 million, 2 weeks
10. Joe vs. the Volcano
$33.0 million, 5 weeks
Cry-Baby
Johnny Depp.Traci Lords,
and Ricki Lake
directed by John Waters
Ram Triple
967-8284
0mm ry-Baby isn't subtitled
fj "Johnny Depp moves up
and John Waters sells out,"
In but it could be.
v, Johnny Depp, a Sassy
magazine coverboy who began his
career as a teen detective on Fox's
21 Jump Street, acts and lipsyncs his
way across the silver screen as Cry
Baby, a sensitive, pretty greaser. The
role is obviously not a real acting
stretch for young Depp. The audience
believes Johnny is a hip, good-looking
teenager. Not too bad for a 27-year-old,
eh?
Tom Parks
But Cry-Baby won't be remem
bered as Depp's movie no matter how
many teenie-boppers flock to subur
ban malls to pay homage to the ris
ing star. No, Cry-Baby will be re
membered as the swan song of a bril
liant, caustic director who sold out.
John Waters, known for his clas
sic on-screen flights into the campy,
the homoerotic and the truly weird,
has definitely made a hip movie. But
Waters' latest effort lacks the dan
gerous edge that his early work was
so rightly praised for. Hairspray was
not a fluke; Waters is obviously court
ing mass appeal, and the man is will
ing to lose his edge to do it. Cry'Baby
could almost be shown on television,
for crying out loud.
Waters made his reputation with
films like Female Trouble (or was it
Female Troubles! Who can remember
the 70's, anyway?), Desperate Living
and Mondo Trasho. These were wacky
films made by wacky people for a
wacky time. Well, those wacky times
are no more.
Waters was apparently so con
cerned with making Cry-Baby hip
with cute kids, cool cars and campy
women that he neglected the sub
stance. Johnny Waters, that is we
hardly knew ye.
But it wouldn't be fair to judge
Cry-Baby only by Waters' early work.
The movie is a giant step back for its
director, but compared to the pab
lum Hollywood puts out on a regular
basis, Cry-Baby rocks and rolls all
over the screen.
Plus, this is probably the only
chance most young kids will have to
legally see porn star Traci Lords act.
She plays a tough chick (another big
stretch) in Johnny Depp's gangrock-a-billy
combo. Depp's "band," by the
way, needn't have even brought in
struments on stage for the big song
and dance numbers. Actors who play
musicians should learn to play the
instruments at least well enough to
fake it. If Dennis Quaid can do it,
anybody can.
The movie's plot centers around
you guessed it Depp, an or
phan born bad. Cry-Baby's parents
were sent to the electric chair and
fried when he was just a lad, hence
his great sorrow.
So Johnny sets out to avenge their
deaths by falling in love with a high
society babe and actually riding in a
car driven by lggy Pop. I'd sooner let
Capt. Hazelwood fly me across the
country in an Apache helicopter.
Depp, of course, isn't the movie's
real star, which is obvious to anyone
in the know. It isn't Lords either,
although she's a contender.
The real draw is lggy. Anyone who
can survive that much heroin and
still act should be declared a national
treasure. In any sane universe, Pop
would be dead, but this is not a sane
world.
Iggy's still alive and kicking, al
beit very skinny and step slow. But
he's still as pretty as he ever was
and seeing Pop in his birthday suit is
worth the price of admission.
Cry Baby (PG-13)
7:30 9:30
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PG)
7:15 9:15
AMERICA'S SPOKESFISH
The Sturgeon General will now speak:
"Eat Fish and seafood twice a week!"
This big guy is the animated star of the National Fish and Seafood
Council's new campaign to promote the eating of more fish and
seafood. With Landlubber's variety, you can!
4fl
SEAFOOD RESTAURANT
Chapel HillDurham HWY 54 at 1-40 493-8096 967-8227
Raleigh 'Atlantic Ave. at Spring Forest Rd. 790-1260 ------
L&rfdh'tt302:00Sljh.W.rthW 5:OO-9!0a StlnVrntTrS;' 5:00-10!CKT Frf.-Sat.-
Definitely, undeniably absurd
Ernest Goes To Jail
JimVarney
directed by John Cherry
Plaza
967-4737
Alan Woodleif
There isn't much chance
that Ernest Goes To Jail will
be nominated for any
Academy Awards next
year. Jim Varney won't
receive any prestigious
acting awards from film festivals in
faraway Mediterranean paradises like
Cannes. Of course, this movie isn't
supposed to do any of these things.
Ernest Goes To Jail is supposed to be
so silly and so absurd that the audi
ence can't keep from laughing. It is
definitely silly and undeniably ab
surd, and this reviewer laughed a lot
more than he'd like to admit.
When it comes to movies like
Ernest Goes To Jail, most reviewers
are harshly critical. They look for
serious acting and complicated plots.
Ernest Goes To Jail doesn't take itself
seriously, and the audience is mak
ing a mistake if they take it seri
ously. A movie should be judged on
its own merit and for the things it's
trying to accomplish. Ernest is trying
to do anything and everything, no
matter how stupid or ridiculous, to
get laughs. It's not Shakespearean
theater, but if you suspend your criti
cism for a while, it'll probably make
you laugh.
Jim Varney has turned his por
tl.Qf.eppprryumpkinestintq. ariaft7oHB:.He,.ha5.pla'yb,thbctotl
fused, lovable buffoon in so many
commercials and other Ernest mov
ies (Ernest Goes To Camp, Ernest Saves
Christmas) that the actor is indistin
guishable from the character. His
facial expressions and. body move
ments bring to mind the funniest
moments of all those old Jerry Lewis
movies. His slow, Southern drawl is
so exaggerated and monotone that it
is hilarious. Who can resist laughing
when Ernest utters his most famous
line, "Ya' know Vern?"
Still, Ernest Goes To Jail isn't just
a collection of sight gags and one
liners. Director John Cherry has
actually given this film a little bit of
plot a simple plot, but it's better
than none at all. The film starts
with Ernest working as a humble
janitor at a local bank. His life is
simple and mundane. The pinnacle
so far is being selected for jury
duty the next week.
The prisoner being tried that par
ticular week spots Ernest and notices
his uncanny resemblance to a Mr.
Nash, a jailed friend of the prisoner.
It is obvious what is going to happen
next. For some reason, at the
prisoner's request, the judge agrees
to have the trial moved to the prison.
When Ernest arrives, he is jumped
by the twin double and his hench
man (Randall 'Tex" Cobb). Ernest
is left to waste away in jail, while his
look-alike assumes his identity .
What seems like a basic plot twist
turns out to have some pleasant sur
prises. Of course, Mrt Nash sets his
sightSLon ihp yjaults at. Errtjbank. .
The funny thing is that Ernest has
to assume Mr. Nash's identity, too.
Nash's henchmen make sure that he
plays the part. He has to be the big
boss around the ceil block so that no
one will suspect that he's not really
Mr. Nash. It is outrageous watching
Ernest try imitation after imitation,
attempting to sound like every tough
guy in movie history, from Humphrey
Bogart to Sylvester Stallone.
Varney does a good job with his
dual role. His Mr. Nash is tough
enough to be believable, but remains
a comic foil throughout the film. No
bank robber that looks like Ernest P.
Worrel is going to be completely sane,
or successful. Some of the film's fun
niest moments come at the expense
of the "serious" and ruthless Mr. Nash.
While Ernest Goes To Jail has more
going for it than just sight gags, there
are still plenty of those too. Scenes
that have Ernest magnetized and
attracting all the metal objects in
the room are particularly funny.
Seeing him "chased" by file cabinets
is hilarious. His automatic tooth
brushing machine and his washing
machine-for-people are also comi
cal. There aren't a lot of bad things
to say about Ernest Goes To Jail. It
was enjoyable and easy to take, which
is difficult to say about a lot of mov
ies. It was full of funny moments
and genuine good laughs. A lot of
people wouldn't enjoy it, because they
wouldn't take it at face value and
would expect too much from it.
If you go "see Ernest Goes To Jail,
don't expect anything but the ri
diculous. And if ridiculous isn't what
you want, then don't go see it. Go
see Ernest Goes To Jail if you're in
. the mood for, a lot of nonsense and
; lofepnaughs;;; :iiJ' J; I