Newspapers / Daily Tar Heel (Chapel … / Sept. 5, 1991, edition 1 / Page 13
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DTH Omnibus Page 5 Thursday September 5, 1991 Names that make you go hmmm ... W hat's in a name? In literature, a character's name often carries great signifi cance, whether it re veals an integral part of the character's story or explains his circumstances. Authors themselves like to use pseud onyms, whether it gives the public a new character to analyze or covers up a real name that sucks. Artists don't change their names as much as writers, but musicians, particularly those in rock bands, con trive crafty, catchy and crudely evoca tive names more than anyone eke in the arts. Rock artists before the 1960s shied away from outrageous group titles, usually using the lead player's name common with blues groups or a name of personal or historical signifi cance that wasn't too eclectic. These days, rock'n'rollers use band names to grab fans' attention, sell records, stir controversy and come across a bit different than the next guy or girl. Here are some band names and the stories behind them (NOTE: some accounts may be fabricated): Boyz II Men Four post-adolescents from Philadelphia, these soul meisters got stuck in a huge rut while reading Faulkner's short story "The Bear." (Back in high school, they used to dream about it every day.) Obsessed, the musicians only drank black coffee and popped zits, dwelling on their delicate balance as orbs of celestial fabric manifest in human flesh, struggling personally and on behalf of humankind while stepping on life's moving sidewalk en route to an inevitable rite of passage from in nocence to experience. Songs evolved after hours of humming and chant ing. They memorized William Blake; now they got cool hairdos. a-ha After optimistically jet ting across the Atlantic Ocean, the Hair Gel Dust Sprinklers concluded their first American gig, and the liquored-up Lubbock, Texas, crowd bellowed with belly-bustin' laughter. The Swedish band thought the show was a success and immediately changed their name. Too bad, the joke was out. Milli Vanilli When Ben & Jerry's bagged the name as a new ice cream flavor, these hop-scotch jokesters snatched it away and lo!, the tomfoolery had just begun ... Poison After John Hinkley Jr. spiked junior high buddy Bret Michaels' orange juice with hemlock in an effort to win the heart of then pre-pubescent Heather Locklear (now the wife of Motley Crue's drummer), Michaels' life was never the same. He vowed to change the world with elo quent prose and deep thoughts, deliv ered atop gracious melodies and su premely aesthetic movements. Dizzy Gillespie Smack wasn't around when he was a kid, so the boy who eyerxoneteaseVas ''dieeky'spent . Layton Croft hours in his backyard with neighbors named Moe and Suzette spinning vio lently just to catch a free buzz. Color Me Badd These four imbeciles failedalltheirnursery school coloring book exercises and were held back so many years they quit school at fifteen and pledged never to leave each others' sides, simultaneously vowing to dress worse than rejected Ken doll proposals and to walk close to each other on the beach wearing overall shorts and latex bun-huggers andchest-tight limepink-striped tank tops and many gold anklets, espe cially when huge waves are wont to splash the damn shore exciting them to give each other super-duper bear hugs. Trash Can Sinatras These young Brits were strolling in London years back when they discovered Old Blue Eyes face-down in a dumpster outside a nightclub. They took his wallet ... Men Without Hats Mysteri ously born with 5-inch circular bald spots on the tops of their heads, these dudes were ridiculed and beaned with milk cartons all through elementary school. They joined together and wore caps to signify their bond as an ostra cized, though real and deserving, group of human beings. Their first gig was an outdoor show, and as the mighty wind gusts of that somber day in late November sent the men's hats sailing to Dover, a name was born. Vixen Girls who grew up on "Strange Brew" and "Cat Scratch Fe ver," these wanton wanderlusts never satisfied their insatiable carnal thirst for consummate bondage, so they started a metal band. Van Halen A little known fact: these four guys from Middletown were hoodlum youths who spent every af ternoon stealing automobiles. Alex, the really crazy one, would steal vans and sniff glue naked in the back while parked near 1-hour photo places. Eddie, the timid one, always asked his brother what he did after school, and Al would always reply, "Dude, snatched a wicked 7 1 Econoline and was doin' some van halin'. Uhh." The Who A large rock fell off a cliff on top of these four boys during an audition at the famous Marquee Club in London. It was actually a meteor. Knocked unconscious, they all got amnesia, and when told by the club owner that their songs sounded great and that he liked their band, then called Men Trapped In Women's Bodies, Keith Moon and Pete Townshend shimmied and chimed, The Who?! r The The When fledging musi cians, these lucky Englishmen found See TONE DEF, page 9 Rappin Is Fundamental The Doo-Hop Legacy ' A&M Records 12 Aside from the group's ridicu lous name, absolutely nothing even remotely special, musically or lyri cally, manifests itself on this LP. Granted, it'stolerable,but I'drather listen to rap acts with a message (Public Enemy) or at least a solid groove with creative sampling (Beastie Boys). The DoO'HopLegacy has neither of these. The some times palatable but overly repeti tive beats soon equate with all the listening enjoyment of a faucet leak ing on a tin pan. Most of the rhymes, though creative, do nothing but boast. The group hopped on the BBD bandwagon by adding a third element of harmonized backup sing ing. (Imagine Boyz II Men cater wauling in a drunken stupor.) Noth ing more off-key and overwhelm ingly recurrent throughout an al bum (yes, every song) ever existed. Yet despite all these complaints, , The Doo-Hop Legacy merits two and a half blobs because of its inventive rhymes and generally non-lame rhythms. Those indelibly fused in the rap genre might think it worth listening to, but certainly not worth spending money on. - Summer Burkes Birdland Birdland MCA Records What an insult to the Manches ter scene. I cannot believe the lengths to which corporate America will go to make money and at the of an already-established musi cal genre. J ust because these four ugly children have identical haircuts and hail from England DOES NOT mean the public will be fooled into vio lently moshing and exing at their shows. The musicianship is dread ' fully elementary the guitar, if not strumming blandly in 44 time, as cends and descends on a major scale for the obligatory solo. The vocalist moans with all the self-importance (and half the talent) of Mick Jagger and doesn't even have the courtesy to use reverb and other effects to soften the blow. And the lyrics Lord have mercy. Songs like "Sleep With Me" and "Everybody Needs Somebody" : either recount all the banal, shallow themes that educated rock'n'roll ab hors or are completely lost in the unintelligible muddle of noise that Birdland has the audacity to call mu sic. This album is at the least a pun ishment to the aural cavity and at the very best a shocking musical example of what not to do. Summer Burkes Yasmin Yasmin Geffen Records 12 Hold on to your martinis, hip middle-aged Americans and mellow artsy-fartsies this LP's for you. Yasmin is a slightly more-happenin' version of Basia, Sade andThe Man hattan Transfer. Her voice floats ad equately over emotionally tepid lyr ics (but it's jaxz rock, so that doesn't matter).The musicianship issubstan tial, although a great deal of it con sists of weak synthesized keyboards and the now-and-forever-present swing-dance beat originated by Soul II Soul. Noone song on Yasmin stands out except for the absolute WORST adulteration of George Gershwin's s "Summertime" in existence. The jazzed-upcoverhasa too-happy beat s and pseudo-soulful vocals (toward the end, she scats like a WHITE GIRL Ella Fitzgerald would lose i her lunch). This LP personifies the lighter side of Video Soul and the heavier side of Weather Channel background music". Buy it for your parents. Summer Burkes Apollo Smile Apollo Smile Geffen Records Yet another bandwagon that has been jumped upon: the resurgence of late '60s flower-power mentality i and mod; go-go fashion expressed through dance music ironically reminiscent of the 70s. I daresay Deee-Lice was the first and best. Apollo Smile, though, does a fair follow-up. She looks like Twiggy and sounds like Stacy Q. The music itself is lighthearted househip hop : with an airiness characteristic of the Cocteau Twins and an easy listening variation on Sly and the : Family Stone. Songs like "Temple . of Love" and "Hymn To The Sun" , exemplifythefloaty.upliftingdance ballads that seems to be Apollo Smile's signature. Funkier cuts like "Peace Sign" and "Thunderbox" make ample use of wah-wah pedals and sampling, respectively. The i optimistic, inspirational lyrics om- : nipresent on this LP are a nice ges ture but often seem to ignore ... well, everything but peace, love, : friends, blah, blah, blah. Hence, Apolb Smile grows old quickly. This album lacks much serious musical merit or revolutionary technique but is perfect material for teen clubs, house parties and short attention spans. Summer Burkes Titanic Love Affair Titanic Love Affair : : : . , Charisma Records :- - : ' This Illinois band sounds just like The Replacements or Soul Asy lum. They do justice to the bands they worship. The upbeat songs move along at such a good cl ip, you hardly realize you're listening to an imitation. What more can you say? Mike Long It's from aliens. I seen 'em. OMNIBUS. Thursday. 3
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Sept. 5, 1991, edition 1
13
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