The Daily Tar Heetuesday, October 1, 19915
Disgruntled
finds rest of
I think the owners of the National
Football League are attempting to un
dermine their popularity base by mak
ing it impossible to like any of their
teams. Actually, nothing is impossible,
but this seems awfully close.
The problem is finding an NFL team
to root for if no geographic ties exist.
Being from New England, I used to
be a New England Patriots fan. Sur
prise. I died with the team when the
Chicago Bears humiliated the Pats in
SuperBowl XX. SteveGrogan was the
coolest, especially since he refused to
throw a pass shorter than 25 yards and
to any receiver other than Stanley
Morgan.' In spite of the fact that New
England started quarterback Tony
Eason over Grogan, I supported the
Pats.
Then one of the world's Top 10
reasons for birth control, Victor Kiam,
bought the team. You know Kiam, the
man who loved Remington razors so
much he bought the company. Now I
want my money, and loyalty, back.
So, I search for a new team. Please
keep in mind, this was not a logical and
rational search because being a fan
loyal to a team through all the blunders
it is bound to make is not a rational
state of mind. Allow me to demon
strate: Searching through the AFC East for
a team to cheer for was a quick journey
as all those teams were arch-enemies
of the Pats for so long.
In the AFC Central, Cleveland is
boring and why pick a boring team?
Cincinnati is boorish with Sam Wyche
doing his favorite Kiam imperson
ations. Pittsburgh's quarterback is
named Bubby, far from a football name;
meanwhile, liking the team's quarter
back is essential in choosing a new
team. Lastly, Houston plays in a dome
with that powder blue color (It's far
from Carolina blue much wimpier).
Heading west a division, I could
never like the L.A. Raiders because
they have been the symbol of evil in
the NFL for as long as I can remember.
Meanwhile, the Chiefs have nothing
that makes them fun.
The Seattle Seahawks appeared to
be a team with hope until I remember
Steve Largent retired.
Cheering for the Denver Broncos
would not work because that is like
cheering for a second-place team over
and over again, and they wear that ugly
orange (reminding me of UVa.).
As for the San Diego Chargers ...
well, it's tough to cheer for a team that
A) you never get to see and B) you can
only name six of its 46 players. Be
sides, they have ugly yellow pants.
So, I turned to the NFC with equally
Calvin and Hobbes
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THE Daily Crossword by Rena M. Campbell
ACROSS
1 Bygone
5 To a phrase
9 Excellent
14 Melody
15 Rhyme scheme
16 Martinique
volcano
17 Mass. college
19 Pseudonym
20 Levy on
purchases
21 Finally
22 Solidify
23 God of war
24 Excelled
28 Spouted pitcher
30 Cultivated tract
34 Ability
36 Wrath
37 Friend: Fr.
38 memoire
39 Retrieved
purchases
41 Genuine
42 Kind of silver:
abbr.
43 de France
44 Remnant
46 Red deer
47 Singing poet
49 Harbor towns
50 Accessible to all
52 Keenness of
hearing
54 Moves slowly
57 Separations
62 Street show
63 Linger over
64 City in Spain
65 Country road
66 Small case
67 Ringers
68 500
69 Classify
DOWN
1 Handles crudely
2 code
3 Window part
4 Story
5 Social
status
6 Religious
person
7 Wild goat
8 Negative vote
9 Sudden
outpouring
10 Delivery
company
1 1 Kazan
12 Meadows
13 In case that
18 Ruhr city
Patriots fan
NFL boring
jf Doug
Hoogervorst
Get Me A f
J Timeout
depressing success.
In the East, the New York Giants
have always been a team I liked. I
never really cared if they lost, but if
they won, I was pleased. Still, choos
ing them now would be like jumping
on the bandwagon. Please, I can't jump
over the phone book.
The Dallas Cowboys, like the L.A.
Raiders, have always had my hatred,
especially remembering way back to
when I hated them as America's team.
Philadelphia continues to suffer in
my mind from the Buddy Ryan image
(whom I hate from Super Bowl XX).
The Washington Redskins have
Mark Rypien who is a Tony Eason
clone. I hated Eason.
Phoenix. Phootball in Phoenix.
Football is meant for frozen ground,
subfreezing temperatures and John
Madden. Next.
In the Black and Blue division, the
NFC Central seems to be the most
likable, having hard-nosed football.
Da Bears, even though they killed the
Patriots, I like in a similar way to the
Giants. Nonetheless, Super Bowl XX
is enough to keep me from eating all
that Polish sausage and claiming Mike
Ditka is the toughest man alive.
The Vikings have lost four Super
Bowls and wear purple (see Denver).
Green Bay plays in a football town on
a great field in football weather. UVa.
product Don Majkowski plays QB.
Yuck. Tampa Bay has that wimpy
dude with a knife in his mouth on its
helmets. Wimpiness, if you couldn't
tell, is not acceptable in pro football.
Skipping Detroit and heading west
once again, the San Francisco 49ers
were too good. You can't like teams
that were too good. There has to be
some challenge.
The L.A. Rams are too glamour
boyish, the Atlanta Falcons are
coached by menace Jerry Glanville
and the Saints have a quarterback who
doesn't even want to be their quarter
back. All this leaves Detroit, the Motor
City. Kind of a cool nickname for a
city and the team does have Barry
Sanders. Good enough to cheer for,
especially using the process of elimi
nation. Hope you followed that and
now understand that the Lions should
be America's team, or at least until
Kiam buys that one, too.
1991 Tribune Media Services, Inc.
Alt Rights Reserved
21 Take into
custody
23 Flying prefix
24 away (hoard)
25 Port-au-Prince
is its capital
26 Ancient
27 Drifter
29 Windshield
31 Moslem ruler
32 Cheerful
33 Blends
35 Indian groups
40 Panache
45 " in Paris"
48 Count (on)
51 Appeals
53 Tin Pan
54 Curmudgeon
55 Great review
56 Seed covering
57 Type of dive
58 Calendar abbr.
59 Scheming
60 Heavy rain
61 Fit of anger
63 551
i R 31 R f"i i p IS r"""9 ho In 12 13
14 is i
n is 19
21 -
22 23
24 2S 2i 127 " 29 30" 31 32 33
34 35 """ 36
55 39"" 40 1
42 43 """ 45
48 47 "
" ' SO- 51 " 52 53
54 55 56 " 57 58 59 60 61
62 "" 63
64"" """ 65 " 66
67 "" 68 69
Tyson should battle in
I had hoped it would not come to this,
but since everyone else has thrown their
tiny little hats in the ring on the Mike
Tyson controversy, I figured I'd better
toss my cap onto the canvas, too. After
all, what is one more opinion?
The first thing I heard about this
hullabaloo involving the former heavy
weight champion was that he pinched
the behind of the former Miss Black
America, and she was suing him for
$100 million. After being reassured by
a second newscast that the monetary
sum she was asking for was in fact a
one, followed by two zeroes and the
word 'million,' I laughed.
Not because I found Tyson's actions
comical, but because I found it hilarious
that someone thinks she should be
awarded $100 million because a very
rich man squeezed a small portion of
her gluteus maximus between his thumb
and forefinger. I know this is America,
the most capitalistic country in the world,
but ... give me a break.
And to make matters just a bit fun
nier, after this suit was brought against
Tyson, about 17 other contestants
claimed that their rear ends had also
been fondled by the fighter. That's right.
One person claims she was pinched in a
place and manner that caused her a great
deal of embarrassment, and everyone
else decides to jump on the bandwagon.
How pathetic.
But what is even more pathetic is that
Tyson also allegedly raped one of the
Tickets for
Staff reports
Believe it or not, it is time to start
thinking about roundball. Ticket distri
bution begins today at the Smith Center
ticket office for Tar Heel basketball
games.
Tickets for both the Blue-White game
(Nov. 9 in the Smith Center) and High
Five America (Nov. 15 in Carmichael)
went on sale today from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Tickets will also be available tomorrow
from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.
For the Blue-White game, students
will be able to pick up one student ticket
and up to four guest tickets by present
ing their ID, registration and athletic
pass. Guest tickets are $7. For the High
Five game, distribution will be normal.
Literacy
speech and physical impairments.
'These people cannot hold a book in
their hands or turn the pages,"
Koppenhaver said. "Also, the computer
uses a synthesized 'voice output,' or in
other words, the computer talks to the
user." .
Studying materials they find inter
esting gives people a "reason to learn,"
he said. "Because the individual has
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A.J. Brown
Staff Writer
pageant contestants. There isabsolutely
nothing funny about the violent crime
of rape, but the mere fact that Tyson is
being sued for $ 100 million for pinch
ing someone's behind, in my mind,
greatly diminishes the fact that a serious
crime of sexual violation may have been
committed.
And what is even worse is that the
guy has practically been tried and con
victed by the public without having his
customary day in court. I thought the
phrase was "innocent until proven
guilty," not "who needs a judge when
we can save the taxpayers' money by
having a public trial?" Thanks to the
wonders of A Current Affair, CNN and
other news programs; we have all heard
the women's sides of the story. Tyson
has yet to tell his side of the story to the
media, which is a smart move on his
part. The public has already found him
guilty of a criminal act without any
evidence. Why should he speak, possi
bly adding fuel to the fire?
Another thing that bothers me about
this matter is the public sentiment it has
stirred. Some have claimed that be
cause he still plans to fight Evander
Holyfield Nov. 8, Tyson is sending a
message that rape is acceptable in our
basketball available today
By presenting the aforementioned, stu
dents can pick up two student tickets. If
guest tickets are available, they will be
sold Thursday for $5.
The Wake Forest football distribu
tion has also changed. Block requests
are to be submitted Oct. 9 from 8 a.m. to
1 2 p.m. Successful blocks will be posted
by 4 p.m. that day. They may be picked
up Oct. 10 between 12 a.m. and 5 p.m.
Individual tickets will be distributed
Oct. 10-1 1 from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Call the CAA office at 962-4300 for
more information.
Water polo dunks Duke
DURHAM The Tar Heel water
polo club waded through Duke waters
actually created and said the text, their
memory of it has become the basis of
learning."
General classroom teaching usually
does not focus on an individual's per
sonalized interests and therefore may
be one of the reasons for students' lack
of motivation, he said.
The Z. Smith Reynolds Foundation
Inc. of Winston-Salem awarded a
Fire
count for many of the fire department's
calls, there is no animosity between the
two organizations, officials said. The
fire department works with University
Police to investigate any alarms involv-
Ranking
Heyd said.
"In a broad variety of areas, Carolina
still has a lot of excellence. These are
things U.S. News did not record. This is
excellence."
Heyd encouraged students to write to
the magazine and describe their own
experiences at UNC that they think show
excellence in the University.
Fordham said he did not believe the
University would drop completely from
the rankings next year.
Robert Eubanks, General Alumni
Association president, said he had been
organizing alumni to work with politi
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the ring, then in court
society. Compared to the noise this situ
ation is eliciting, a 1988 affair involv
ing an Olympic diver only caused a
murmur.
On Aug. 1, 1988, Bruce Kimball
plowed his car into a group of teenagers
on a dark, dead-end street in Brandon,
Fla., killing two people and injuring
three others. He was charged with five
felony counts of driving underthe influ
ence (of alcohol), which carries a maxi
mum conviction of 45 years. Even with
his life in legal limbo, the 25-year-old,
out of jail on $10,000 bond, was al
lowed under U.S. Olympic Committee
rules to compete in the U.S. Olympic
trials. By competing in the trials, did
Kimball send a message that drunken
driving is acceptable in our society?
According to an Aug. 29, 1 988, issue
of Sports Illustrated, groups like Moth
ers Against Drunk Driving found
Kimball's decision to compete in the
meet morally offensive. Seven friends
of the victims expressed their thoughts
about his decision to dive on the backs
of pink T-shirts: 'REMEMBER THE
VICTIMS.' Of his decision, Kimball's
father and coach said: "It 's the one thing
he has left to hang on to."
And he didn't do such a good job of
that. Bruce Kimball lost his grip on
second place and finished fourth, fail
ing to make the team.
It seems to me that a lot of people are
failing to see the Tyson rape charge for
Saturday in defeating the Blue Devils
13-8. Bill Davis led the Tar Heels with
three goals. South African Brian Orlin,
sophomore Shawn Donnegan and
alumnist Tim Watson splashed in two
goals apiece. UNC goalie Jeff Doyle
held the Devil offense in check.
Women's club soccer wins opener
GREENSBORO The women's
club soccer squad opened its season
with a 5-0 victory over the Greensboro
Sidekicks.
Alison Brooks pumped in two goals
and assisted on another. Marti Bullock
scored once and assisted three times.
Heather Deans and Laura Elliot each
tallied once.
$35,000 grant to fund the development
of the computer system.
The program has two major advan
tages over traditional tutoring methods,
he said.
"For the illiterate population in gen
eral, flexibility is a great advantage,"
Koppenhaver said. "If you are trying to
teach with just a book, trying to instruct
and create material that corresponds to
ing suspected malicious intent, Jones
said.
Ninety-five percent of the public
safety units that respond to campus
alarms are from the Chapel Hill Police
from page 3
cal leaders and others in the state.
"Our alumni are beginning to wake
up and beginning to realize that the
University needs them," he said.
The Shady Place for
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Study Europe in
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"Overall. T such a great epenence I talked to my mom last night,
and she said lust tell me you're having a wonderful time.' and l sad
I am having the most incredible time ever, because I am learning so
many things, l am domg so many things ' IT s definitely worth if "
Jo Anna HerhkoMt, University of Virginia. D'S stuaent Spring 1991
Humanities & Social Sciences International Business
Architecture & Design
Taught in English by Danish Faculty
Fall, Spring, Summer and Academic Year
Danish Family Stay
See your Study Abroad Office on Campus for more information, or call 1 -800-247-3477 for a copy
of the DIS Study Guide, which contains complete information on all aspects of the program
what it is a charge that has yet to be .
proven in a court of law. Kimball's "
careless actions resulted in the deaths of J
two teenagers, but he didn't put his life '.
on hold until his trial. Things are differ-1
ent for him now, though. Kimball is
serving a 17-year prison term and is I
featured in a 1 5-minute videotapecalled
"Decisions," in which he discusses the s
dangers of drinking and driving.
Tyson hasn't killed anyone. Yes, his .:
fondling did cause embarrassment to .;
the young woman whose behind he
pinched. If he did rape another woman,
there are bound to be some emotional
scars left behind for her. But until he is
found guilty of something, I don't think
he should be expected to put his life on
hold. Tyson should fight Holyfield Nov.
8.
And if a jury does find him guilty of
rape, let them be the ones to decide his
fate. For all the embarrassment he may
have caused anyone else, he'll suffer
the most if he is sentenced to 63 years in
prison. If Tyson wins the heavyweight
title and is then sentenced to a prison
term, he'll have to relinquish his belt in
m uch the same way Ben Johnson had to
give up his gold medal and world record
after testing positive for steroids.
The trial is set for January. At that
time, a real judge will decide Tyson's ,
guilt. Until then, no one should throw
the towel in on the Tyson-Holyfield
fight .
Basketball Tickets
Date Opponent Distribution
Nov. 9 Blue-White Oct. 1
Nov. 1 5 H igh Five America
Nov. 17 USSR Oct. 15
Nov. 24 Citadel
Nov. 30 Towson State Oct. 20
Dec. 1 Cornell
Dec. 7 Central Florida Oct. 27
Dec. 15 Florida State
Jan. 2 Purdue Nov. 5
an. 4 Colorado
Jan. 9 Clemson Nov. 10
an. 1 3 Maryland
Jan. 19 Villanova Jan. 1 2
)an. 25 Virginia
Feb. 5 Duke Jan. 26
Feb. 8 Wake Forest Feb. 2
Feb. 22 N.C. State Feb. 9
Mar. 4 Georgia Tech Feb. 16
from page 3
an individual's interest can be very time
consuming." Liz Smith, a tutor through Project
Literacy, said students and teachers of
ten are not able to spend as much time as
they would like in tutoring sessions.
"Most of the adults have their own
families and jobs," she said. "I can't
move as quickly as I'd like to, and it is
hard to get a lot of work done."
from page 3
Department. No documented situations
exist in which a response to a false
alarm has taken away from an emer
gency, said Jane Cousins, Chapel Hill
police planner.
Porreca said responding to an alarm
puts people at risk. The University Po
lice seek to help the fire department
allay some of these risks, he said.
"My real concern is to make sure
their work is facilitated, not how much
it costs," Porreca said.
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