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Page Two The Chapel Hill Weekly Chapel Hill, North Carolina IMJL ary Ttteph—•» *1271 —' M«1 Bwy Tocaday sad Friday % lip Chapri Hill PabHatog Company, lac. Gp A '.xs Conmbatmfl Editor jjS'lhMß Marnffing Editor qmnuu as Mcood-cJtMi matter February a in at ■>l pnjtnffl ~~ at C!um; BUI North Carolina, under of March 3. UTO SUBSCRIPTION RATES Ib Orange County, Year M-00 (6 months $2.26. 3 months, $1.50) Outside of Orange County by the 't «er State of N. C., Vs-, and S. C. Other States and Dist. of Columbia 6.00 Canada, Mexico, South America '•-00 Europe 7 - &0 ADVERTISING RATES National, for agencies, 84c col. inch . . . Ixical transient, 75c; open, 65c; regular, 60c; consist ent (50 inches or more average per week), 54c . , . Classified, payable in advance, minimum, 60c for 22 words, every additional word 4c; All classified ads running four or more times carry a 25% discount . . . Legal and tabular. 1 time 80c per inch; 2 tunes 75c; 3 times, 70c; 4 or more times, 65c . . . “Readers,” separate from reading matter and clearly marked “ad'.,' 75c . . . Political (in advance), 75c. <* “Are You a Bromide?” (By Louis Graves in the Baltimore Sun) Bromide, in the sense of a flat, com monplace statement—such as, for ex ample, “New York is a fine place to visit, but I wouldn’t like to live there;” or, when acquaintances meet at a place where they are astonished to see one another and one remarks, “Well, well, well, the world is a small place after all” —is a word that has been in common use for many years. Its establishment in the language is attested by its inclusion in the dictionaries. Will it be there al ways? Os course nobody knows. Some words are dropped from dictionaries or are marked bsolete. But thus far there is no sign of bromide s losing ground. I dare say that among the millions of people who have uttered the word not one in ten thousand—and my guess would be that the proportion is even less than that—is aware that bromide, in the sense mentioned, is a perversion. The Oxford English Dictionary defines perversion as “a turning a.-ide from the truth or right,” and Webster’s New In temat ional defines it as "a perverted or corrupted form of something.” Both of these definitions are correct as applying to bromide. The article by Gelett Burgess entitled ‘The Sulphitic Theory” appeared in the Smart Set in April, 1906. (That was before H. L. Mencken joined the staff of the magazine which he and Gqprge Jean Nathan as co-editors were to make famous ) I was a reporter in New York then and I remember how joyfully the article was acclaimed by the intellectuals (which term J am now stretching to em brace not only scholars, novelists, essay ists, poets, dramatists, and editors, but also writers of all ranks). The intel lectuals talked and wrote so much about the article that they made its subject familiar to almost everybody who was able to read. The article, with revisions and addi tions, was put into book form the year after it appeared in the magazine. It attained a tremendous popularity and went through many editions. With the subtitle the article had been named “The Sulphitic Theory, or Are You a Bro mide?” But in book form the title was simply “Are Y'ou a Bromide?” Some of us who were disposed to be cocksure in the confidence thas we were not platitudinous were humiliated to find that we had uttered several of the commonplace remarks listed as speci mens by Burgess. You know, like “It isn't so much the heat as the humidity,” and, “The Salvation Army reaches a class of people that churches never do.” (A digression: As time passes, the authorship of epigrams, jokes, and rhymes that have become fixed in the popular mind is often forgotten. For the benefit of younger people to whom Gelett Burgess is no more than a name and maybe not even that, I had better set down here the fact that he was the author of the famous quatrains: “I never saw a purple cow, I never hope to see one, But I can tell you anyhow, I’d rather see than be one, and the sequel, headed, “Five Years Later”: "Ah, yes, I wrote the Purple Cow, 4 I'm sorry, now, I wrote it, But I can tell you anyhow, 111 kill-you if you quote it.” Burgess died in California in 1951 at the age of 85.) Now for the perversion. The per version is that in Burgess’ book the word, bromide, was never used to mean a remark, the sense in which it is universally used now. It was only a person, as it is in the title, “Are Y'ou a Bromide?” The commonplace remark was a bromidiom, a word that today is never heard and never seen in print, and is not in the dictionaries. Burgess said that the iate Frank O’Malley, cele brated writer for the old New York Sun and later for various magazines, suggested to him the word, bromidiom. Both the Oxford and Webster’s dic tionaries bow to history by giving one definition of bromide as a person along w-ith the definition as a remark. Estab lished practice would justify attaching the notation, “obs”, to the former. In every single citation in the Oxford the word mean-; what is said, not the person who said it. Os course, the word is not in the regular B volume, which was pub lished long before Burgess’ article ap peared, but in the Supplement (Voi. 13), which contains many words coined in America, such as bunnyhug. Charleston (the dance), turkey-trot (another dance), realtor, beautician, and mor tician. Among the citations under bromide are: Robert Hichens: “For once Mrs. Bar atrie gave way to a bromide.” Con temporary Review (British): “. . . in spite of this oft-quoted bromide.” . . . Publisher? Weekly: “The old bromide that poetry never sells is once again proved to be wrong.” . . . Evening News (the London newspaper): “This is one of those self-evident propositions which are now referred to as bromides.” “Are You a Bromide?” is hard to lay your hands on now. I asked around and wrote for it a long time before I could get a copy. Finally I managed to bor row one. So many old favorites are being reprinted in these days that maybe I’m wrong in declaring this one rare. I shouldn’t be surprised if some body would correct me, saying that one of the reprint publishers has recently brought out the Burgess masterpiece. Well, if none has, one ought to. If this fcdone, it’s a safe bet the new issue will i)ot have the pretty illuminated borders and tailpieces in the copy her<- beside me. It’s amusing, to renew your acquaint ance with Burgess’ original list of bro midioms (pages 24 to 32 in the book). Here are some of them: “I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like." . . . “It isn’t the money—it’s the principle of the thing.” . . . “I’m afraid I’m not educated up to Japanese prints.” . . “It’s a mistake for a woman to marry a man younger than herself; women age so much faster than men.” . . . "I’d rather have a good hor.-e than all the automobiles made.” (Automobiles were still new when Bur gess wrote his piece. The commonest form of joke in that era was about the mishaps of motorists, usually on lonely roads—punctures, failing engiiTes, cur tains torn to pieces in fierce wind—and rainstorms, and such like. Often driv ers of horses were shown, comfortably smug, in the pictures accompanying the automobile jokes.) “If you would only write stories the way you tell them you’d make your fortune as an author.” “. . . The most ignorant Italian laborer seems to be able to appreciate art.” . . . “Os course, if you happen to want a policeman there’s never one within miles of you.” The following passages in the book are a fair summing-up of Burgess’ Sul phitic Theory: “Sulphites are agreed upon most of the basic facts of life, and this com mon understanding makes it possible for them to eliminate the obvious from their conversation. They have found, for instance, that green is restful to the eyes, and the fact goes without say ing. They are aware that heat is more disagreeable when accompanied by a high degree of humidity, and do not put forth this axiom as a sensational Above all, the Sulphite recognizes as a principle that, if a story is really funny, it is probably untrue, and he does not seek to give an adjuvant relish to it by dilating with verisimili tude upon the authenticity of the facts in the case. “To the bromide all matters of facts and fancy are perpetually picturesque, and, a discoverer, he leaps up and shout* THE CHAPEL HILL WEEKLY We have talked to several people on the street recently about the status of the Chapel Hill-Carrboro Merchants Association. They want to know why we can’t keep an Executive Secretary, why a better job is not being done, etc. While it is not true all of the time, in most cases the person doing the com plaining does not even have enough interest in the association to attend the opening meetings. The average mer chant will probably never realize how valuable the Merchants Association really is until he is forced to do without it a few months. President Crowell Little and the Board of Directors have spent many, many hours this year working for all the merchants. The recent appoint ment of Mrs. Jane Whitefield as the new Executive Secretary is a step in the right direction. She is well acquainted with the inner workings of the organi zation. She knows the merchants and their problems. While on the subject oft he Merchants Association, it is worthy to note that * the Board of Directors last week ap pointed a nominating committee to pro enthusiastically that two and two are four,, and defends his statement with eloquent logic. Each scene, each inci dent. hits its magic spell—like the little woolly toy lamb he presses the fact, and ‘ba-ba!’ the appropriate sentiment comes worth. Bromides seldom listen to one another; they are content with talk for talk’s sake, and so escape ail chance of education. It is this fact, most likely, which has endowed the bromidiom with immortality. Never heard, it seems always new, appropriate, clever.” Doesn’t Like to Sit.. . Man Who Helped High School and University to Football Championships Is Veteran Member of the Police Force By J. A. (’. Dunn A little after 1J o’clock one night thin week we dropped into the police station to see Serge ant J H. Merritt. The Serv ant was sitting at the desk behind the little iron bars with his feet propped up, combing a newspaper for time-killing reading matter. We asked him about himself. “Well, ) was born and raised in the country about two or three miles out on the Pitts-- boro Road,” he said. “1 came into town when I was about five or six, and my father ran a livery stable right behind where the Carolina Coffee Shop i.S now.” How about football ? We had heard a good deal af*>ul the Sergeant’s pig.skin exploit.-. “Weil, yeah, 1 played football at the Chapel Hill high school for four years. We won the eastern state championship for four years, and the state cham pionship two years. One year we won the state championship for football, basketball, and track, all three. That was— let’s see 1 b’lieve it was in 1021. Then I played a couple of years for the University, too. In 1022 we didn’t lose hut one game I think it was Yale we lost to. I played in 1022 and 1024, but 1 had a lot of trouble with my studies, and I dropped out in 1023.” At this point the radio put in a remark. “Car one.” The Sergeant leaned over, pushed the transmitting button and replied, “Go ahead one.” “10-8," said Car One tersely. “10 4, one; KIA 736, 11 20. As I was saying, I didn’t play in 1023. And I didn’t finish school. I left to get married and went to work. I werked first with Jack Lipman iri the clothing store he used to have right where Robbins is now. Then I worked for Mr. Ben nett (J. S.) at the electric and water company. Then I work ed at the coal yard as a fore man. The University used to sell coal to people all over town, but then a couple of coal dealers got mad because the University got all the business, so they went to Raleigh and got it fixed so the University couldn’t sell coal. Then 1 came down here in 1339 and I’ve been here ever since. I’m the sec ond oldest man to the Chief.” The Sergeant leaned over and pressed the transmitting button again. "Testing, 11:30, KIA 736,” he said, giving his half-hourly time call. “One,” said Car One. “10-4, one.” How about the war years? We had been told the police had a busy time during the war. “Yeah,” mused tha Sergeant, “we had quita a time with that Pre-Flight School. They jvara Bits of Chapel Hill pose the slate of officers who will take over January Ist It consists of Presi dent Little and the three immediate past presidents, Herb Wentworth, Miss Elizabeth Branson, and R. B. Todd. Suggestions are welcomed. There are openings on the Board of Directors plus the regular officers. The Merchants Association is also in valuable to the people who live here. It strives at all times to see that the mer chandise sold in Chapel Hill-Carrboro is of the highest quality and reasonably priced. The association urges all mer chants to stand behind the goods and services they sell. Complaints against any merchant should be reported to the office on North Columbia Street. Y'ou can be certain they will be investigated. We were discussing high taxes with Bill Basnight when he showed us a clipping about taxes in Great Britain. We felt a little better after reading same, and thought perhaps you would. Here it is: “In America, paying income taxes is a duty—in Britain, it is a disaster! “So says an American who knows both countries well. ‘ “On top of a straight income tax, high even after the recent reduction, the British pay a surtax on ail income over $5,600. This rises swiftly: at the $42,- 000 Level, for instance, it takes $2.66 out of every $2.80 of income. “As a result, in the fiscal year 1952- 53, there were only thirty-five people in all Great Britain whose incomes, after taxes, were more than $16,800. To have that amount left, a single person has to have, before taxes, an income of something over $140,000 a year!” Photo by I.itve: tii.*- JACK MERRITT pretty tough, but we made it all right. 1 like police work OK 1 don’t like to punish people, but 1 like to get. outside in the fresh air. 1 don’t get out much now. Just about the only way I can get out of the office Chapel Hill Chaff the only linotype operator I’m not scared of, can us ually pick the winner of the Preakness, and this year married Ed Hodges of the Durham Herald. Betty became a linotype operator when she was in high school in her home town of Waynesboro, Va. It was during the second World War when men op erators were scarce. The superintendent of a Waynesboro printing plant came to the high school and made an appeal for girls to learn the trade. Os the ten or twelve who tried it, Betty was one of the few who stuck and be came a linotype operator. Now she is one of the world’s best. • • • The following letter from our Contributing Edi tor was written Sunday, August 8, in Nice, France: Dear Joe: After ’an eleven-hour ride on a de luxe train cal led “The Mistral,’’ which left Paris at 1 p.m., we are at Nice, on the Mediter ranean. Yesterday we were taken on a bus to Monte Carlo over the spec tacular road that winda , is to call the boys in and make one of them handle the desk while I ride. I’d rather be out riding than here on the desk.” We supposed the Sergeant went to ail the football game-. "I wouldn’t miss a game. I’m crazy about athletics football, basketball, baseball. All young men ought to go out for some sport, for the exer cise and the fun of it, and the physical training. You never can tell what kind of trouble you're going to get into some time if you can't protect your self.” The tele; hone rung, and the Sergeant talked for a couple of minutes to a woman ori the oth«-r end, then hung up and leaned on the radio button once more. “Station to f ar One.” “One.” “Go by the patrol barracks, contact Jack Reynolds, have him call 4-6365 Raleigh, advi.-e him emergency.” *•10-4.” “KIA 736, 11:42. I really do b’lieve in physical education,” said tha- Sergeant dreamily. <Continued from page 1) through the Maritime Alps and gives the passengers one glamorous view after another of land and sea. The people in our troupe (Brownell Tour No. 107) are amiable and jolly. No croakers or whiners. W’hat good luck! Twenty-one in all, including a compe tent, smooth-tempered and handsome young matron from Tennessee named Mrs. Nora Surface. Yesterday we went into the famous Casino at Monte Carlo and roamed through the palatial rooms with hundreds of other tourists. We stood behind the players at the roulette tables and observed that the bank, at every table, was the heavy winner. The only person in our troupe who won was a sweet 76-year-old lady from Richmond, Virginia, Mrs. Ruth N. Gordon. This morning she has gone to the Protestant Episcopal church in Nice, either to give thanks for her luck or to pray for forgiveness for the sin of gambling. One of the players, point ed out by Casino attend ants and recognized by many of tha tourists, was ' "" -■ ' • - rrrr 7 mm I Like Chapel HUi It always seems to happen. When I think things are running smoothly, up comes one of the daggondest days! For instance, we were working away in the office, each in his individual sphere, when suddenly Joe Jones hopped from the chair and walked into the other office, looked at O. T. Watkins and returned, saying, “I was wondering whom he was arguing with, and you know he was talking to himself.” I laughed aloud. And O. T. stuck his head in the door, pointed his Anger at me and declared, “If you put that in your stinking column, I’ll kill you.” That was incident number one. The second came during the coffee consumption when I happened to think of something and pulled out my paper and pencil to make a note. JL Hap Perry, who was even looking in the other di rection, snapped his head around to me, and he too declared, “Now don’t you go putting that in the paper.” I told him I wasn’t but that wasn’t satisfying. “You gotta be careful what you say around Billy,” he con tinued, “or it’ll turn up in that paper.” So wha’ hoppin? From then on nobody said any thing worth quoting. Then, in came Crowell Little and Dick Young. “Listen, you little . . Crowell started. “I know, I know—you’re in dutch about what I quoted you as saying about your trading for pigs.” “It isn’t that I object,” he said, “but the folks who read that I say I have often traded with pigs and jerks might get offended. You got to get me off the hook. And fast.” “How many folks objected?” I asked. “I hadn’t seen it until my wife showed it to me at breakfast and said it had been called to her attention,” he replied. “Do you reckon as many as several hundred persons might have read it and will say something to you about it? If they do, it’ll show you that the Weekly is read from cover to cover and is a good place to put your advertising.” “No kidding,” Crowell went on. “You got to off the hook. I don’t want my customers to think iMt I regard them as pigs and jerks. That’s bad business. My customers are the finest people in the world.” “You mean to say that some of the folks you’ve pan i ned off used cars on are not jerks for buying ’em ?’’ “No, never. I only handle good used cars. I wouldn’t sell a lemon.” "You mean to say that the way some folks have beaten you down in a trade that you don’t regard them as pigs?” “Nope, just better traders and businessmen than I.” “You mean to say that some folks who have let you have a used car in on a trade don’t regard you as a jerk for taking it?” “Could be, but I don’t want ’em to tell me about it.” "And you mean to say that some of them don’t call you a pig because you wouldn’t give them as much on a trade in as they’d like?” “They probably do. But that doesn’t straighten out what you printed that i said,” Crowell insisted. “Well, all I could print now would lie the truth, we put the words in your mouth.” "That’s OK. That’s what I want,” he interrupted. “And all I could say would be that you said you had once traded a car for some pigs, and that actually jt was Orville Campbell who added that you probably have traded with pigs and even jerks. And you laughed agreeably. And that when I put it on paper, just for the heckuvit I left out Orville and gave you credit for the whole shebang.” “Lemme tell you something, just for the heckuvit you get that corrected. And quick! I’m telling you!” He told me. The British Navy has discovered that paddle whe|L tugs are more effective than those with propellers f™ pushing aircraft carriers in dockyards, says the Na tional Geographic Society. Rainfall reaches as much as 140 inches a year on mountain slopes of the Olympic peninsula in Washing ton, says the National Geographic Society. European death rates are lower than ever before in spite of hardships of World War II which could have lowered the vitality of some residents. Fifteen per cent of U S. families with both parents working have children under 6. Greta Garbo. The oppor tunity to see her, and rub elbows with her as she wandered from table to table, gave thrills to the Americans who had wor shipped her in movie the atres. She laughed when she lost at roulette. About that train, “The Mistral”: A passenger who seemed to be well in formed about railroads and claimed to be an expert speed-gauger said it was the fastest train he had ever been on. Myself, I couldn’t compare it with our American trains as to miles per hour, but It seems to me to go through France with amazing Tuesday, September 6, 1955 speed. ” Well, there’s not as much time for writing aa I expected I would have. Now I am leaving the hotel in Nice for a little wand ering about. ' As ever, L. G. • • • Miss Joyce Nelson, phar macist in Drug store, says one dollar is the answer to the riddle propounded above: The 50 cents he took from the counter (which already be longed to the merchant), 35 cents for the purchase, and 15 cents for the change he was given.
The Chapel Hill Weekly (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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Sept. 6, 1955, edition 1
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