NEW YORK DAY BY BUY.
Some of the Things Done Daily in the
Metropolis.
"Ilewlilskered lVIc" Dead.
Pete, a bewhlsckered goat, known
ito nearly everybody In the district
around Sixty-fourth Street and Am
sterdam Avenue, died Thursday of
over-exertion while acting as part
Of the Juvenile Fire Department,
.an organization composed of volun
teer children, one unwilling goat and
a cart. The report had It that he
was close to 22 years of age. He be
longed to George Forns. In his
youth Pete worked In Central Park,
where he was born. He was one of
the goats whose duty It was to draw
a fancy cart up and down the Mall
at a nickel a draw. Eventually Pete
was sold and taken over to the neigh
borhood where most of the patrons
of his park days lived. There they
made Pete the official fire horse He
was harnessed up to a cart and driven
madly to imaginary flres. Thursday
Pete was tuckered out after an es
pecially stubborn morning blaze
which required four alarms, and was
hardly able to work when another
alarm was rung In from the most |
thickly populated part of the district, j
But he was hustled out at n tori illc i
rate. On Sixty-third Street, near
West End Vvenue, he fell gasping I
and soon died.
Took A Patriotic Swim.
There was a lot of excitement on
the new Russian steamer Petersburg I
when she arrived at Quarantine. As I
the Staten Island shore drew near |
Harry Resfallen, a stowaway from
Rotterdam, rushed up on deck,
yelled. Hurrah! America!" Jumped
over the ship's side, and tried to
swim ashore. The chief officer or
dered a boat in pursuit, but before
It reached Besfallen he was over
hauled and captured by the Quaran
tine boat.
When hauled on deck and ques
tioned by the custom officers, the
stowaway, who says he Is an Ameri
can, said that the sight of the land
was too much for Ills nerves after
a long sojourn In Europe, and he
felt he must go ashore at once or
go crazy.
Kouglit With Mirrors.
The poolroom signal men. perched
In their high tower outside the Aque
duck race track, retaliated Thursday
on the race track police, who for
several days have been flashing sun
light reflected from a mirror In the
eyes of those In the tower to hamper
them In their work of collecting
news of the races. The poolroom
men used mirrors to throw light Into
the faces of the police, and eurly In
the afternoon there was a lively ex
change of flashes and much annoy
ance on both sides. The poolroom
men had little the better of the con
flict. The policemen gave up their
scheme of flashing light after the
second race, as it suggested that the
results might be dangerous to the
horses in the races. When the police
mirrors went out of action the pool
(room men promptly retired their
light flashing apparatus.
To Widen Fifth Avenue.
Justice O'Gorman. sitting in the
Special Term of the Supreme Court,
handed down a decision Friday de
ciding that the Knickerbocker Trust
Company must cut off the entire j
front of its building at Fifth Avenue
and Thirty-fourth Street, because
that portion of the structure en
croaches over the stoop line. As soon
as the decision was handed down
Corporation Counsel Kllisnn announ
ced that he would at once serve no
tice on all property owners between
Twenty-eighth and Fifty-ninth
Streets whose property encroaches
on or over tin stoop line. The city
has a plan to widen the a'enue
from Twenty-third Street to Central
Park, and needs every inch It is en
titled to.
Pencils Are Higher Now.
Lead pencils are among the iHtest
articles to be advanced In price.
The wholesale rate on all pencils
costing $3.60 or less a gross has
gone up, according to announcements
now being sent to stationers by do
mestic manufacturers, from 5 to 35
cents a gross. New price lists on j
some lines of foreign pencils are
also being sent to dealers
The reason advanced is the higher
cost of labor and material. It Is
supposed that the retail prices of
some grades of pencils will soon go
up, for dealers have declared for
some time that the profit is too small.
Gunners Destroy Property.
Nearly 1,000 hunters participated
in the opening day's deer shooting
on Long Island. About 40 deer
Were killed. Several persons sus
tained shot wounds through the reck
less firing on the grounds beyond
the Oakdale district, many of the
hunters being posted only a few feet
apart. The destruction of property
was constdeia'ule. and public senti
ment may result in a permanent,
close season for the game being en
forced.
Deer Swim* Across Sound.
Driven from Dong Island by hunt
ers and dogs, a large deer swam
across Long Island Sound and landed
on the Connecticut shore at Wilson
Point. It had a swim of from eight
to fifteen miles. There have been
reports of rdmilar feats, but this is
of these rumors has been vertlfleJ.
This deer was seen as he was ap
proaching the Connecticut shore by
the crew of the oyster steamer Row
land. 'The boat passed close to the
deer.
For A Mono-ltail Road.
A high-speed elevated mono-rail
rapid-transit road may be built In
this city in a comparatively short
time. At a hearing held by the com
mittee on plans of tbe Rapid Transit
Commission advocates of the liehr
mcllo-rall system made n strong
ehowing. and the members of the
committee not only displayed in
terest In the proposal, but gave evi
e*nee of being inclined to favor the
building of the road Should the
plan be adopted. New York will have
tbe first mono-rail to be built and
operated ip tbe United States.
I COMMERCIAL COLUMN.
Weekly Review of Trade and Latestj
Market Reports.
New York. -R. G. I)un & Co.'*
Weekly Review of Trade says:
Business experienced the custom
ary Interruption during election
week, but a more permanent re
tarding Influence was the inadequate
supply of freight cars and labor.
Many Industries are severely handi
capped by traffic delays. In other
cases there Is idle machinery because
hands cannot be Becured despite the
high wages offered. This difficulty
threatens to reduce the lumber cut
materially. Several strikes are
threatened, and one railway system
alone has advanced wages to the ex
tent of a million dollars monthly.
Retail trade is well maintained by
lower temperature in some section!
of the country, and the full employ
ment of labor at all points, while
wholesale business In holiday goods
?a very heavy.
Less Interest is shown in the pri
mary market for cotton goods, al
though there Is a fair volume of
business in progress. The persis
tent reaction in raw material has
had Influence at last, buyers now
I believing that concessions must fol
low a period of Indifference on their
part.
Interrupted movement of grain to
primary markets and the consequent
restriction of foreign business as
well as activity of Northwestern flour
mills checked the upward tendency
of quotations and caused some re
notion.
Liabilities of commercial failures
thus far reported for November
amounted to $1,221,132, of which
$537,780 was In manufacturing.
$672,537 In trading and $10,815 in
' other commercial lines.
Wholesale Markets.
Baltimore.?Flour?Quiet and un
changed; receipts, 9,350 barrels; ex
ports, 327 barrels.
Wheat - Steady; spot, contract,
75% @75%; spot No. red Western.
79% @ 79%; November, 75% @
75% ; December, 77 ?77%; steamer
No. 2 red. 69% @69%.
Corn?Firm; spot, 52 @52%; No
vember. 51% @52; year, 48% @49;
January, 48% @ 48%; February,
48%; steamer mixed, 50@50%.
Oats Firm; No. 2 white, 38% @
39; No. 3 white, 37 @38; No. 2
mixed, 37 @37%.
Hay?Firmer; No. 1 timothy, 18.50
@19.00; No. 1 clover mixed, 17.00.
Butter ? Steady and unchanged;
fancy Imitation, 21 @ 22; fancy
creamery, 27@28; fancy ladle, 18@
20; store-packed, 17@18.
Eggs?Firm; 27.
Cheese ? Active and unchanged.
Large, 13%; medium, 13%; small.
14%.
Sugar ? Steady and unchanged;
coarse granulated, 5.00; tine, 5.00.
New York.?Wheat?Spot firmer;
No. 2 red, 72% elevator und 84% f.
o. b. afloat; No. 1 Northern Duluth,
39% f. o. b. afloat; No. 2 bard win
ter, 84% f. o. b. afloat.
Corn?Spot firm; No. 2, 56% ele
vator and 55% f. o. b. afloat; No. 2 !
yellow, 55% nominal; No. 2 white,
56.
Oats ? Receipts, 69,000 bushels;
exports, 1,885 bushels; spot firm;
mixed oats, 26 to 32 pounds, 38;
natural white, 30 to 33 pounds, 39
@40%; clipped white, .18 to 40
pounds, 39 @4 0.
Feed?Firm; spring bran, 22.00
prompt shipment; middlings, 22.00 j
prompt shipment.
Lard?Firm: Western prime, 9.60 j
@9.70 nominal; refined firm.
Pork - Steady; family, 19 00 @
19.50; short, clear, 17.00 @ 18.50;
mess, 18.00@18.75.
Cottonseed Oil ? Steady; prime
crude, f. o. b. mills, 29% @30; do.,
yellow, 45@47.
Turpentine?Firm, 69% @70%.
Coffee?Spot Rio unlet; No. 7, In
voice, 7%; mild steady.
Eggs?Firm; receipts, 6,206; State
Pennsylvania, and near by. fancy se
lected, white, 35; do., choice. 32@
34;; do., mixed, extra, 30; Western i
firsts, 26 @27 (official price, 25? j
261; seconds, 23 @24.
Poultry ? Alive quiet; Western |
chickens, 10%; fowls, 10%; turkeys, |
14 Dressed unsettled; Western j
chickens, 9% @14; spring turkeys,
15@ 16; fowls, 8% @11. I
I
Live Stock.
New York?Beeves Dressed Deet
steady; native sides, 6 >4 to 9V4c. j
per pound; fancy beef, 9% to 10^4 c.;
Texan beef, 514 to 7c.
Calves ? Good veals firm; others
steady; grassers nominal; veals, 5.50
to 9.00; choice do., 9.25 to 9.50;
dressed calves Ann; city-dressed
veals, 8 to 13l,4e. per pound; conn- |
try-dressed. 6 to 12c.
Sheep and Lambs?Sheep quiet;
good sheep steady; lambs, 25 to 50c.
low??r; sheep, 3.00 to 5.50; culls.
2.00; lambs, 6.75 to 7.75; one deck,
8.00: culls. 4.50.
Hogs?Market weak; State hogs, j
6.50 to 6.70; pigs, 6.75.
Chicago.?Cattle- Market steady; '
common to prime steers, 4.00? 7.30;
cows, 2.65 ? 4.75; heifers, 2.60 ?
5.35; bulls. 2.40 ? 4.50; calves, 3.00
(fi>7.50; stockers and feeders, 2.40? ;
4.50.
Hogs?Market strong to 5c. high
er; choice to prime heavy, 6.35?
6.40; medium to good heavy, 6.20?
6.30; butchers' weights. 6.30 ?6.40t
good to choice mixed, 6.10? 6.25,
parking, 5.80?6.05; pigs, 5.50? j
6.20.
Sheep?Market strong to 10? 15c.
higher; sheep, 4.00? 5.65; yearlings,
5.50 @ 6.85 ; lambs. 6.00?7.75.
WORTH KKMKMBKK1NG
More than two million sheep ara
eaten in Paris in a year.
The late Premier Seddon, of New .
Zealand, left an estate of about $50,
000.
Slates are no longer used In Lon
don schools. The exercises are
wrVten on washable paper with lead
pencils. i
Through the munificence of the
widow of a New Y<wk capitalist,
the means has been supplied for the
establishing of a magazine printed
in blind point type.
f "Good" Spellin?
V Scientific Phonetic Principles Groundwork V
M of the Simplified Spelling Board's Crusade, if
By Benjamin E. Smith. ?
?????????? T is true that the only really good spelling Is pkMMtte t-p< It
X _ Z i"g. it is unfortunately true that our orthography, though
? I X not wholly unphonetlc, is front the true phonetic point of
XIX vies little less than a nightmare; but it is also true that to
X X rpform phonetically would necessitate a radical transform
?HHtMH atlon of the great majority of the familiar forms of English
X * words. because it would involve extensive alterations of the
alphabet. To say, us some do, that this alphabetic recon
struction should be the end rather than the beginning?a
goal to which a gradual approach may be made?is only to recommend the
substitution of prolonged contusion and anarchy for a quick and sweeping rev
olution. But that the great mass of English-speakers, who, as Prof. Loans
bury has said, have lost the phonetic sense, will consent to give up at once ot
gradually, through a transition period of vexatious confusion, their orthograph
ic habits, their prejudices and their convenience, in order that their spelling,
or that of their grandchildren, may assume a form which, from its strangeness
seems to them utterly repulsive, is a supposition which cannot be entertained
unless one relies upon the scientific accuracy of one's principles more than up
on one's knowledge of human nature.
The full recognition of this fact by the Simplified Spelling Board is what
chlefiy distinguishes its program and makes it a practicable and hopeful one.
All of Its members, probably heartily believe in the phonetic principle; they
muy expect or hope that some time it may be embodied in English orthog
raphy; but they are agreed that It must be subordinated to other practical
principles in any reform for which it is reasonable to work. They have not
abandoned the standard of the earlier revolt; but they have changed the point
of attack and the plan of campaign. This should be distinctly grasped by all
who are Interested in their work and plans.?The Century.
Q1/1r'lt'rKr
| Using a Giant's Strength |
?j By F IV. Greer.
?r*rtb*btb ?
r HERE are two causes that help make the conditions which
Tcall for exposure and reform. The first Is unlimited profit
and the second is the right of a strong brain to take undue
advantage of a weaker brain.
In the future we will see a legal rate of profit as we not'
Hsee a legal rate of interest, and there will be as great a
sentiment against the misuse of brain power as there is
ngainsl the misuse of physical power In the future no
person will be allowed legally to use his brain power to ex
act exorbitant profits from the people any more than a pugilist now has the
legal right to use his great physical power to commit highway robbery.
In the savage state a person uses his physical and mental force as he
chooses, but in a clviilzed community these have to be modified according to
the wishes and needs of the community. We have put a restraining hand
on the brutal exertfise of physical force; now let us put forth the same effort
and control the brutal (I know of no better word) exercise of the mental
force.
Let me illustrate: I am a person of ordinary mental force and of ordinary
strength and have a fair amount of wealth. One person tries to get my
wealth by physical force and another by mental force (high finance). One
class Is as harmful as the other to the community.
Every person endowed with extra physical and mental force is entitled
to compensation for all the extra services he can render because of such ' n
dowments, but he has no right to use such endowments to force from another
his wealth unless we go back to a nature where "every man Is a law unto
himself."
!The Growing ^
Passion for Music
By Rupert Hughes {?
*? l! ATEYiflR t he percentage of American musical illiteracy
Wmay have been a few years ago, it is beyond denial that
there is a tremendous change at work. The whole nation is
feeling a musical uplift like a sea that swells above a sub
It ? ? ? marine earthquake.
_ _ The trouble hitherto has not been that Americans were
^ of a fibre that was dead to musical thrill. Our hearts are
not of flannel, and we arc not n nation of soft pedals. We
have simply been too busy hacking down trees and making
bricks without straw, to go to music school. But now, the sewing machine
the telephone, the tyepwriter and the trolley cur are sufficiently installed
to give us leisure to take up music and see what there is in it.
We are beginning to learn that, while The Arkansas Traveler, Money
Musk, and Nellie Was a Lady are all very well in their way, there are highet
and more Interesting things in music.
There is an expression which musicians hear every day: "I am passion
ately fond of music but I don't understand it. 1 know what I like, but 1
can't tell why."
This speech has become a byword among trained musicians, but it indi
cates a widespread condition that is at once full of pathos and of hope
America as a nation is "passionately fond of music." It needs only an educa
tion in the means of expression.?Good Housekeeping.
..The..
I Fellowship of Dogs J
* By Jfc H. Bell. *
HAVE seen a few wretches tn my day; hut I never saw one
T J so utterly lost to decency that he could not be flattered by
X V 4 the friendly attentions of a strange dog.
X A it There is some hope for the man who is capable of feel
X X ing ashamed in the presence of an honorable dog. That man
H :? lius aven,It'8 "Pen to him for advancement. His soul is still
+ ??++????? fit for expansion. When a strange dog greets him, he thinks
Jbetter of himself?unconsciously he reasons: "Villain that I
am. 1 am not so bad after all as 1 might be. You can't fool a
dog: and a dog is no hypocrite; therefore. 1 have good in me which he recog
nizes " The fellow is a little surprised at himself and not a little flattered.
For my own part, I have learned a great deal from dogs. If I am natural,
they set me the example in early childhood. If I am faithful to a friend
through his disgrace nnd disaster. I cannot deny that a dog revealed this no
bility of character to me for the first time in mv life. If I have gratitude. I
saw it first in a dog. If I have enterprise, he did not neglect my early lessons.
If I have initiative, so had my first dog-friend; if I am affectionate, so was he
If I am patient in adversity and without arrogance iu affluence. 1 could not
have acquired his poise of mind better from men than from dogs. If 1 am
watchful over weakness intrusted to my care; if I am forgetful of Silf in
guarding my beloved, if 1 have the courage of my convictions, if I have any
heroic instincts. 1 could have had no better teacher than a dog.?The Culturlat
: TRI-SM NEWS.
A Little Look Around in the Land of
Song and Cotton.
Mr. George W. Vanderbilt and his j
family, while attending church at
Biltmore, have suffered much an
noyance from curious crowds of
sightseers. The Kev. Rodney Rush
Swope. rector of Mr. Vanderbilt's
All Souls' Church, endowed and kept
up by Mr. Vanderbilt, took occasion
to protest against this evil, as well j
as others, from his pulpit at the Sun
day morning service.
Dr. Swope did not mince matters
There were some things he was tired
of. and he did not propose to tolerate
them, he said. One thing, he did not
propose to be annoyed by his con
gregation coming into church at all
hours, as they had been doing.
Another, was the sightseers. Dr.
Swope said:
"1 want you to understand that
this is not a show place, but a house
of worship."
Mr. Vanderbilt pays ail the run
ning expenses of All Souls' Church,
including the preacher's hire, and
takes up the collection on Sunday
mornings. A special feature is made
of the music. There is a large paid
choir maintained by Mr. Vanderbilt, I
and an organ recital for half an hour j
follows the service.
The church is small, though very
pretty. Hundred of visitors to Ashe
ville go to All Souls' Church every
Sunday, and the Vanderbilts are
made the objects of a curious crowd
of spectators who come to see the
sights.
Five negroes were drowned in the
Yadkin River, near Simmerson's
Landing, seven miles from Salisbury. |
They were: Dave Sears, his wife and
17-year-old son, .lack Ratz and the
wife of Clint Sears.
They had been to a corn-shucking,
and on their way home attempted
to cross the river in a small boat.
When halfway over the boat cap
sized and all fell into the water.
Jerry and Heury Sears were following
in another boat. They quickly
pulled up to the capsized boat, but
those in the water had gone down.
The Sears negroes gave the alarm
and one body was located, but al
lowed to remain in the river, proba
bly from superstitious fears.
The river is being dragged for the
bodies. The water at that point is
20 feet deep.
.Maj. William E. Breese, the al
leged wrecker of the National Bank J
at Asheville a decade ago, together
with Messrs. Penlaud and Dickerson.
will be tried again in the United
States District Court. This statement
was made by a government official
Saturday.
This case has been tried four times.
At the last trial, in Charlotte, in
July, 1904, the defendant was found
guilty and sentenced to a term in
the United States Penitentiary in
Atlanta, but the Circuit Court de
clared a mistrial. The prosecution
of the Breese case has cost the gov
ernment about $70,000 already, and
another trial will make the amount
close to $100,000.
A charter has been granted the
Pigeon River Railway Company,
with headquarters at Canton, in Hay
wood County, with power to build
a line from that point to the works
of the Champion Fiber Company,
twelve miles distant, and thence to
Pisgah Ridge, on the line between
Haywood and Transylvania Counties,
a distance of forty miles. The
amount fo capital stock in $200,000,
and the principal stockholder is Peter
G. Thomson, of Cincinnati, Ohio.
Herr OUan Zilltacus, municipal
chemist of Helsingfors, a.id Herr
B.iohn Schuman, burgomaster of
Ekenas, and member of the Finnish
Diet, were in Charlotte to secure
data concerning the operation of the
prohibition laws. They have been
in America investigating for about
ten months.
cienry waiKer, wlio entered the I
residence of Col. L. Banks Holt at
Graham and shot him through the
head, was convicted of burglary and
sentenced to be hanged December 6.
Colonel Holt will probably recover.
The quick trial probably averted a
lynching.
Lieut. Franklin Swift, Cnited
States Navy, retired, who has been j
in command of the United States
Fish Commission vessel Fishhawk,
died at St. Francis' Infirmary, Char
leston, S. C.. of typhoid fever.
James Harris, an employe of the
Southern Railway at Spencer, was
kicked in the head by a horse at
home in Salisbury, and is thought to
be fatally injured.
Contracts have been let for new '
street paving in Knoxville, Tenn.
Columbus. S. C., calls itself the
City of Conferences.
Memphis, Tenn., wants men to
come out and say what they think.
Chattanooga. Tenn., has a negro
"Band of Hope" Society, organized
to aid in the suppression of negro
crime.
Charleston. S. C., enjoyed Gala
Week with a running fountain of
gala at every street corner.
Knoxville, Tenn.. is out for new
kinks.
A North Carolina wage-earner is
desecrating tradition by supplying
hotels with sprigs of artificial mint
tissue paper mint.
Sunday eight white pallbearers, I
including prominent citizens of Nash- !
ville. Tenn., conveyed to the last rest
ing place the remains of Robert
Green. "Uncle Bob," the noted old
servant of Gens. Harding and Jack
son.
At the funeral services, which were i
conducted in the colored Baptist j
Church, were many white people,
and the floral designs contributed by
white people were many and ha.id
sonte. Hundreds of white people fol
lowed the hearst, the colored con
tingent preceding them. Under the |
sod of the meadow, where stood |
Bonnie Scotland, Enquire; and mam
other famous horse3, "Uncle Bob"
was lowered.
The nallbearers were \V. J. Fwi ic.
Sr.. editor of tin American; W. O.
Parmer. John G. Greener, Howell
E. Jackson, Charles Marks, Judge j
John Morrow. C. H. Gillock and L j
C. Garrabrant.
TRIUMPH OF INTELLECT.
I have a mom Intend* respect
I always had?for Intellect.
I wonder, to a ureat extent,
At any rare aocomplisfcment.
I envy those who tc^n the start
And know how far it id to Mart.
Likewise the scientific stifTs
Who read Egyptian hierglypba.
And yet that's easy, I suppoM,
To any one who really knows.
If I should try. I'll bet a dime
That I conld do the trick in time.
But when you come to something har#
Just figure on a railway card?
A folder with its "Ivs" and "art"
And complicated section bars.
Its "z's" and "k's" and "e's" and "a's,**
Its shameless disregard of days.
Its columns filled with figures dense
Arranged without a lick of sense.
Its junction points and signal stops?
They make me just as mad as hops.
Yet men there are. I have no doubt.
Who really make the darned thing out!
And that, indeed, is where I find
triumph of the .human mind
?Chicago News.
Flnnlgan Kilosofy?Kapc yer eye on
phwat a mon turrns up 's nose at, an'
yez'll know what he's been r-raised on.
? Baltimore American.
Lawyer?Well, what was done in the
interim? Witness?I don't know, sir.
I didn't go into the interim. I stayed
in the anteroom.?Puck.
Tommy?Pop, does a diplomat have
to know much? Tommy's Pop?Well,
he has to know enough not to know too
much.?Philadelphia Kecord.
"You say your late uncle was an ec
centric old fellow. Do you think he
was insane?" "I don't know?the will
hasn't been read yet."?Cleveland
Leader.
The Bad Dancer?One more turn
and I would have lost my breath en
tirely. The Victim?Just one more
turn, please, Mr. Ponsonby.?Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"Who'd have thought we'd live tt>
see our boy in the Legislature?" said
the old man. "Nobody," said the old
lady, "but?the Lord's will be done!"
?Atlanta Constitution.
New Office Boy?You wife wants you
at the 'phone, sir. Mr. Mormondub?
Boy, how many times must I tell you
to get the name and number of the
person who calls up??Puck.
"De man dat makes de mos' noise
in dis wort'," said Uncle Eben, "some
times gits de credit foh what other
people manage to do in spite of his
disturbance."?Washington Star.
"My wife was arrested yesterday."
"You surprise me. What was the
trouble?" "She got off a trolley car the
right way and a policeman thought
she was a man in disguise."?Puck.
He?Tomorrow is my birthday. She
?I suppose you will take a day off.
"I shall." "And how do you think
I celebrate whir" I have a birthday?"
"Oh, I presume you take a year off."
?Life.
"You haven't any confidence in eith
er candidate?" "On the contrary, I
have confidence in both. I believe all
the bad things they say about each
other are absolutely true."?Washing
ton Star.
Fisherman (beginner)?Don't you
think, Peter, I've improve^ a good deal
since I began? Peter (anxious to pay
a compliment)?You have, sorr. But
sure it was aisy for you to improve,
sorr!"?Punch.
"By the way, sir," asked the waiter,
"how would you like to have your
steak?" "Very much, indeed," re
plied the mild man, who had been pa
tiently waiting for twenty minutes.?
Philadelphia Press.
"Your friend Bardlet left some
verses with me today that were quite
amusing," said the editor. "Indeed!"
replied Dudley; "I didn't think he
was a humorous poet." "Neither does
he."?Philadelphia Press.
A tourist who returned this week
from Colorado was asked if the out
ing was expensive. The tourist re
plied, "I have lost everything but
honor, and I bel^fve even that i?s
plugged."?Kansas City Star.
"I think," said the prison visitor, "It
would be helpful to you if you would
take some good motto and try to live
up to it." "Yes," said the convict,
"Now, I'd like to select, for instance.
'We are here today and gone tomor
row.' "?Philadelphia Press.
"What are college yells good for,
anyway?" asked the pessimistic per
son. "Oh," answered the self-made
cynic, "they are useful in training the
voice for pleading with Texas steers
on a Western ranch after the gradua
tion act."?Chicago Daily News.
Nicolai Looks Backward.
Nicolai has been very much im
pressed with his Sunday school les
sons. especially those telling of the
creation of the world. He asks his
mother numerous questions concern
ing the original state of things, and
does not seem quite satisfied with the
replies, as is evident from a recent
prayer he made, which included a pe
tition asking the Lord,to "please tell
me what there was way. way back,
in the years before there was any
backs to the years."?Harper's Week