Newspapers / The Tarborough Southerner (Tarboro, … / May 5, 1827, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of The Tarborough Southerner (Tarboro, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
Communications. FOR THE T'AIir. FKESS. A SCARECROW, Tor the Town Creek Reviewer to bark at, Mr. Editor: It is my sad mis fortune to have a most desperate and inveterate enemy, inhabiting some obscure frog pond or mus quito bog on "Town Creek," as appears in your paper of the 21st instant, (April;) and I have ev ery reason to suspect, that this is not the first shot that I have re ceived from that quarter. This enemy of mine, who on this occa sion styles himself the "Town Creek Reviewer," appears to be a particular friend to those infer nal tribes of vermin called moles and crows; for this most dreadful war which he has waged with me, seems to be altogether on account of "A Siflication," or petition, which my innocent goose quill un fortunately scribbled some time since, tor the consideration of our most potent Legislature, with re gard to the extirpation of the above mentioned noxious and di abolical animals, that infest the cornfields of our honest farmers. And, instead of challenging me (this shows that he considers me a most powerful warrior) to sin gle combat, in order to chastise me for the injury done to his be loved brood, the moles and crows, we in the first place see him pad dling over to Greece, to the tomb of Homer, invoking the aid of his ghost from thence we behold him tramping post-haste to Eng land, where lie calls aloud to the graves of Byron, Shakspeare,and Milton, in all the agonies of des pair, to yield their tenants to his assistance: from thenne. with tho 7 v.vy as "a sort of breastwork or screen, behind which he flatters himself he can safely charge upon the in vincible lim the poet, without so much as receiving even a scratch from this dreadful Hector of Tar boro', who ho seems to look upon as being more terrible in war than him of Troy, who is thus descri bed by the immortal Shakspeare: "I have, thou gallant Trojan, seen thee oft Laboring for destiny, make cruel waj Through ranks of Greekish youth; and I have seen thee, As hot as Perseus, spur thy Phrygian steed, Despising many forfeits &. subduements, When thou liast hung thy advanced sword in the air, Not letting it decline on the fallen, That I have said to some my standers by, Lo, Jupiter is yonder, dealing life! And I have seen thee pause and take thy breath, When that a ring of Greeks havehem'd thee in, Like an Olympian wrestling." Yes, it is obvious that this poor frightened creature, the "Town Creek Reviewer," looks upon me to be far more terrible in war than was Hector of Trov, from the cir cumstance .of his leading such a prodigious host against me as the one I have attempted to describe, armed and equipped so war-like with lances, javelins, sabres, blun derbusses, toledos, shields, buck lers, helmets, barbers' basins and what not, and defended by such a rn.hmiif nfl,lrt..i A I tyjuui ui uuuuuu. aim iiiuilKies, ' r as would brave the artillery of the ,5ut fm(lin2 myself no longer pur whole combined world. Tim SUC(l hY tlicm 1 returned to this dreadfully arraved and equipped fatil1 froS P0Iu1' to ce w,mt natl for war, he is ready to march into become of thembut, alas! I saw the field against poor Tim the tlie,u not or a? 1liarh, King of poet but, alas! no music has he, E"-Vfjt a,ul V3 followers were no life-giving drum to inspire his swallowed up in the liquid abyss timid heart with valor, but beino- f t,lc Red c, in pursuit of the ' . W1'r i i-i a most extraordinary and evnodi. umuiuu U1 imcil-i, so in hkc man- . - i Hark! I hear those baboons howling; j hearted frog dragging the Gr liiosc monkies muttering, squeaking, rai out ot the mire. f r JI KJ V II ll . Don Quixotte's Rozinante is neighing, And Sancho Panza's ass a braying Oh! where for shelter shall I fly, Shall I run and live, or stand and die? Thinking it would be the extreme of madness and folly in me to con tend with such a host of unnatu ral warriors, I consequently re treated, and they chased me, Sir, like blood-hounds for "I tell you, Sir, they were red-hot with vengeance; So full of valor that they smote the air For breathing in their faces; beat the ground For kissing of their feet: yet all the while bending Towards their object. Then old Guinea beat his banjo, At which like unbackM colts they nrick'd their ears, Advanced their eye-lids, lifted up their noses, As thev smelt music so I charm'd their ears. By bleating sheep-like, as the) follow'd me through Brambles, briars, thistles, sharp furzes, pricking goss and thorns, Which entered their mcasrre shins. At last I left them In a filthy frog pond, or quagmire, on 1 own Creek, Dancing up to their chins in water and mire" To the enchanting tune of 'Two potatoes and a dram, Make poor niger gentleman; M assa, missa, kill debull, Massa.missi, bellv full." ner was the unfortunate Town Scott, whose aid he invokes in the name of mercy and mercy's God. We next hear him with a vocife rous voice calling aloud the names of "Blue Beard," "Palmerin," and "Amadis de Gaul," from whom he obtains a hippogriff, or winged horse, which he mounts and wiii'rs his course to Spain, where with the voice of thunder he commands the buzzards to restore the skin and bones of Rozinante, the match less war-horse of Don Quixotte, alias the Knight of the Rueful Countenance. He also demands Sancho Panza's ass, alias Dapple, from the half-starved buzzards, who in obedience to his com mands, instantly vomit forth both Rozinante and Dapple, whole, sound wind and limb. He next ransacks the burial grounds of La Mancha, in searcli of the tombs of Don Quixotte, and his Squire Sancho Panza, which he ultimate ly finds, and commands them to rise from their sleep, mount their war-horses, and follow him. Not yet content with his already suffi cient force to vanquish four score thousands of such pigmy poets as the "Tarboro' Bard," the infa mous author of that infamous "Siflication," which so much trou bles the peace of his mind, we find him levying all the baboons and noniues ot the old world, which ent Ucneral, he very soon sup- Ul Utlf u. "monunaic i own plies this defect by substituting an Cree, Kuvicwcr ami his gallant old musical Guinea ncro. with n myrmidons ingulphcd in a muddy frog pond on Town Creek, while FOR THE FREE PRES. ENIGMA. The era in which it first cxi?t y has never been known to man j! is more powerful than J,, 1 with his thunder; weaker than t creeping reptile. Splendid cife have been made to tremble at h approach, and mourn at its den;ir ture. Mountains have been n moved at its command, and tli most rapid rivers ceased to flov' It was with Commodore Perrvo Lake Erie, and without it a fojjj overthrow would have attended his whole fleet. It has been ir. strumental in more victories tb any General whose name jrracei the pages of history; vet it is scarcely ever mentioned by histo rians. It is heard and felt even where, but it is seen no where, j: is in the palace and in the cottoje: with the king and with the pcV sant. It is one of the principal ingredients that constitute human happiness, yet it is often made an instrument for the destruction cf mankind; and no man can tell whence it cometh, or whither i; rrnntli Slnlnti f7i ".,',' SATURDAY, MAY i, W27. gy'Amphimedon," and "Acrostic" in our next paper. rnni.litv nf n -l,...o I.:... u,u '"u"" "UlllUtl HCgrO, Willi a v.. . .,.. a.,u giuiis or t0 knock off , j faV0litc t Scotland, in search of Sir Walter T .. , , ,, 1 a . I 1 ivn nnf:itnrc om t i rom May Day. ...On Tuesday last the Fe male Students of the Academy in this place, commemorated the Feast of flVO nnt:itnr: nrwl t ilrim Snnmni, t k: .i:t-: i , tv and ill-will iu jiift ujviii, ailU SO II1UC11 i r to the comfort of his cowardly palpitating Jieart, that alter offer ing up orisons to the "Shades of departed heroes, to protect him, ne unsheathes his sabre, mounts his hinposTriir, and bids 1 i i ; mvrmi- dons to follow him to the field of glory, there to immortalize them selves by taking poor Tim thepo Of P'mtll'n '. 1! 1 aim in su uoinu rearess the wrongs which the moles and crows has sustained by him, the said Tim, the pitiful author of that infamous "Siflication." At the conclusion of this short but nffiw- ing harangue, a general shout of "long live the Town Creek Re viewer," and "long live the moles and crows," was reverberated throughout the ranks then the word "march," was loudly vocife rated by the General Town Creek Reviewer, who taking the lead, was loUowed by the most singular and numerous army that the world ever saw, to what may be termed the "moles and crows war," a gainst a "Corn and Tatur Plan ter," alias Tim, their poetical foe. 1 looked and beheld them hard by, and in a paroxyism of hopeless despair dropped on my marrow bones and exclaimed: nnr5iiino- n (iPrni nnl T.itm. Tl... ter " to chastise him for his rnmi-l t,owers- The spacious hall of the Aca- . . I .1 r it t i towards the DOOri was wncnuiiy uccoratea wnna:- Gods! where for shelter shall I ffy, Shall I run and live, or stand and d'ie? ho Places in the van of his ann Of b. ill 1 1 Inn. nw. nnirn .....1.. C11CS anil WlPaths n nivpr. sni a Mr Hint inwin,ii,-iyt iiiuiua aim CLOWS, I ' c as is expressed in that malicious concour5e of ,adies and Sent!emen 2: "Siilication," of which he the said !temled t0 witness the ceremonies. At "Corn and Tatur Planter" is au-j4 ,clock the students, between fifty thor. After viewing awhile in.and sixt.V in number, arrived in procs? vain the dreary aspect of this ! sion ontl Iiss Mautha Atstix, who merciless frog pond, with the hope! uas clectecl by lier associates to person: of seeing the head of a o-h0st or r' tIie Quten Flowers on this occa- uic iau oi a oauoon,pop up above the surlace ot the mud. I turned my back upon the shocking scene, and like a generous soul, dropped a tear of sympathy for my unfor tunate enemy, and said to myself T 1 w - as 1 moped along, 1 had rather be "a tick in a sheep," or "a doir and bay the moon," than to be the "Town Creek Reviewer." not withstanding he was Generalissi mo of that gallant army, that now lay entombed in the filthy abode of jocund looks and sparkling eyes of the frogs, tarapins and tadpoles. Quit scribbling prose and doggerel, loon, Hunt the Town Creek mink and Vnmv For this vocation's far more fit. 1 ban gibing me with borrowed wit. Tarboro' Bard. N. B. With tho assistanno nfn huge bull frog, I understand that the Town Creek Reviewer mndn shift to crawl out of the mire and make his escape, before I could get oacK to the frog pond to see sion, was ushered to the throne... . an cio quent an appropriate address was then delivered by Miss Delta Dancy, the mimic sovereign crowned Queen ot the Day by Miss Mary Joyner. The ceremonies were interspersed with mu sic, and a splendid entertainment serves up... the festivities of the day closed wit ' a Ball in the evening. We are pleatfi to sec this custom introduced amon'- ....the reign of Flora is celebrated in al most every civilized country, and th? students, their countenances beaming with health and animation, evinced the interest and pleasure which the occasion excited. Congressional. The Elections in th ;J State for Iltprcsentalivcs to Congress, take place in July and August. In tl! district, R. Hines, Esq. and Dr. T. H- Hall are candidates. In the Halifax district, we understand there is no opposition to Mr. W. Alitor. what had become of him and his! the present member Jas. Grant, Esq followers. I sorely lament thnt T' who vr sometime since announced as did not reach there time enough, crndidate, having declined. to behold the good old Christian-! In the Warren district, Mr. Edwards
The Tarborough Southerner (Tarboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
May 5, 1827, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75