Newspapers / The Rocky Mount Record … / April 30, 1908, edition 1 / Page 6
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p Ph iter's Drug Store! I | Solicits Your Patronage | For Wants In The Drug I Line* . . . . . . \. | Next Door To Post Office. E b KILL the COUGH i AND CURE THE LUN w,th Pi 8 '• fi ] New Yr ' FOR08l ; ' AND ALL TKROaV • -,ES. I GUARANTEED OB MONEY BOUNDED. i AN OPTICAL DELUSION. The Story of a Martinet Colonel, Captain and a Sword. The colonel, a rigid martinet, is sit ting at the window of his room when, looking out, he sees a captain crossing the barrack yard toward the gate. Looking at him closely, he is shocked to observe that, the rules and regula tions to the contrary notwithstanding, the captain doos not carry a sword. "Captain!" he calls from the window. "Hi. captain, step up to my room for a moment, will you?" The captain obeys promptly, borrows a sword of the officer of the guard, the guardroom being at the foot of the stairs, and presents himself to the colo nel in irreproachable dress. The colonel is somewhat surprised to see the sword in its place and, having to invent some pretext for calling his subordinate back, says, with some con fusion: "Beg your pardon, captain, but really I've forgotten what it was I wanted to speak to you about. How ever, it can't have been very impor tant. It'll keep. Good morning." The captain salutes, departs, returns the sword to its owner and is making off across the barrack yard, where he again comes within range of the colo nel's vision. * The colonel rubs* his eyes, stares,, says softly to himself: "How in thun der is this? He hasn't a sword to his waist!" then calls aloud: "Captain! Ho, captain! One moment, please!" The captain returns, borrows the sword again, mounts the stairs and en ters the colonel's presence. His com manding officer stares at him intently. He has a sword; he sees it; he hears it clank. "Captain," he stammers, growing very hot, "it's ridiculous, you know, tut—ha! ha!—l'd just remembered what I wanted to say to you, and now —ha! ha!—it's gone out of my head again! Funny, isn't it? Ha, ha, ha! Losing my memory. Never mind.' I'll think of it and write you. Good morn ing." The captain salutes, departs, returns THB-6LOMOOS-68LDEH CLOCK-FREE for a few minutes of your time. No one who has SPG 3 11T 2¥ LY a home to live in can afford tj miss ch;s truly GOLDEN OPPORIHN^-Jkj To secure FREE of charge a Clock, the * to K „„ most important thir.g in the home. a " J ' such a Clock, too! BEAUTIFUL GOLD 7fc3 fST Tan AND GUARANTEED FOR TEN YEAK3. READ V;:PID rollect ss°Yn°thfs way to iMfM jy/Q EXTRA GIFTS make this Glorious Clock Go fi,u Clock wBSS TWO "BEAUTIFUL EXTRA GIFTS T tn the Clock I have two other lovely presents which I will give !5u tenyoSSl sbJutVhi r .J extra I *end the first one. which I will do as soon as I h««x trom you, so HURRY UP. YOU TAKE NO CHANCES »««« SVr MdlVui %lyyU\l o nd»ora t .lJ"!lfcLrfoJ\:rrTroTbk 7 Al. , r[ / f yo« eet^ok S for IS S&»*reason «• of the ««• STJS EflS Kodol For Indigestion Our Guarantee Coupon \ If, after using two-thiTds of a st.oo bottle of ' Kodol, you can honestly say it has not bene fited yon, we will refund your money. Try Kodol today on this guarantee. Fill out and sign the following, present it to the dealer at the time of purchase. If it fails to satisfy you return the bo.ttle containing one-third of the medicine to the dealer from whom you bought it, and we wfll refund yoor money. Town . State i . Sign here . ». Cut Thla Out - w Digests What You Eat And Makes the Stomach Sweet £. c. DeWITT & CO., Chicago, lIL the sword to"its owner"and~makes Tor the gate. As he crosses the barrack yard the colonel calls his wife to his side and says, "See that officer out there?" "Yes." "Has he got a sword on?" The colonel's wife adjusts her eye glass upon him, scans him keenly and says, "He hasn't taste of a sword." The eolonek "That's just where you fool yourself. Yes, he has."—Londoo Graphic. THE PICTURE CRITIC. If He Doesn't "Quits Likfe the Face," That Settles It. Some liberal minded people will ad mit to you that a slight preliminary training is required before a serious attempt is made to criticise music, but almost anybody with eyes is willing to , embark buoyantly on the job of tear ing a picture to pieces. This seems to be because the picture will stand with out hitching. Moreover, it will patient ly submit to all the verbal harpoons you find time and strength to throw, and the average friendly critic will find sufficient of both to make even a reasonably good painting look like a cross between a fourteenth century St. Sebastian and a hedgehog. Music, on the contrary, is both pro longed and evanescent,, and by the time the composition is finished and the applause has quieted down the critic has forgotten most of the good things he intended to say to its detri ment. But the picture stays, irritating you by its mere passivj* endurance to the point where after awhile you feel that if you don't say something to destroy Its smug self complacency it will go on I thinking that if s all right. So then yo« begin to work over I it, and you say: "Yes, I see now. It j looked pretty good at first, but that J arm is hopelessly bad, and I don't quite !ike the face," There's nothing The Rocky Mount Record, Thursday, April 30, ISGB to be done if you don't "quite Tike the face;" there's no answer to that propo sition. It's a clincher. Rembrandt himself would have wilted and would probably have given up trying to be an "old master."—Everybody's. The Word "Ale." What could be more English that the word ale? It carries us back to the banquets of our dead ancestors in Wal halla, and some of its compounds open up vistas into that old England which is fast disappearing, becoming a tale that is told, obsolete itself. Such are alebush, a tavern sign; ale Conner, ''an officer appointed In every court feet and sworn to look to the assize and goodness of bread, ale and beer." Ale cost, the name of a kind of tansy used to flavor the rustic's home brewed, has a good old English look. Yet it bears witness to the mongrel nature of the speech of this mongrel nation, cost be ing from the Greek kostos, a savory herb of species unidentified. Alegar is eager or sour ale, used as vinegar.— Cornhill Magazine. Wellington and Waterloo. Heine, in speaking of Wellington's good luck at Waterloo, says: "This man has the bad fortune to meet with good fortune when the greatest man of the world is unfortunate. We see in him the victory of stupidity over genius —Arthur Wellington triumphant when Napoleon Bonaparte was overwhelmed. Wellington and Napoleon! It js a won derful phenomenon that the' human mind can at the same time think of both these names." No Chance. "Do you think his interest in art will ever amount to anything?" "No," answered Miss Cayenne. "He is too weH off to become an artist him self and not rich enough to become a connoisseur."— Washington Star. Her Stolen Jewels. "Yes, Mrs. Swellman has been rob bed of her jewels, and Mrs. Sneeker is the guilty party." "What? You don't mean to say she stole"— "What else can you call it? She of fered the cook $6 and the maid $5 a week, and now she's got them."—Ex change. For Herself. "Are you sure you love me for my self alone?" ask ad the romantic young woman. "Well," replied the practical young man, "I don't think I love you for any one else." A Luxury. "My daughter," said the father, "has been accustomed to all the luxuries of wealth." "Yees," said the count, bristling up; "zat ees what I am."—Christian Reg ister. Secure A Home By Paying Rent. f We offer for sale two five room cottages, conveniently located and good as new upon the payment on each house of S3O per month for five years. Not a cent of interest charged on deferred payments. A splendid chance to secure a home on easy terms. Call and see us. ."We have some bargains in real estate, im proved and yacant. Our office is headquarters for IHSlirlltCC in the best companies. We are giving special attention to the collection of rents. * Put your property in our hands and you will be pleased. ;.•••• * • Rocky Mount Ins. & Realty Co. R. B.JDAVIS, Jr.,|Sec'ty. R. LJHUFFINES, Gen.'Mgr. v- I > DO YOU ?! i I * mil I hi gararaaraganarf WISH TO BtJY ' , / A Diamond, Piece of Jewelry or Cut Glass • • o 3f so, place your orders at home. By buying from a home dealer you have a guarantee that the article is what it is represented to be, for a home dealer can't afford to misrep resent. Besides you can do as well at home as you can by buying from foreign dealers. EVERY ARTICLE bought from me is guaranteed to be as represented. I have a large stock to select from and the prices are as low as you can get any where. £§>* Geo. .L. ParKer JEWELER Main Street Rocky Mount, N.C.
The Rocky Mount Record (Rocky Mount, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
April 30, 1908, edition 1
6
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