North Carolina Newspapers

W. FLBTOHKR AUSBfW, EDITOR C. V. W. AUSBON, BUSINESS MANAGES. VOL. IV- PLYMOUTH, N. C, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 21. 1892. NO. 23. "FOR GOD, FOB COUNTRY AND FOB TRUTH." "4 V Directory. STATE OOYBRHMENT. aTrnAi Thrm M. Holt, of Alimauce. SUamtar ef Htate. OctaYlOUS Coke. Of Wake. A . , Treasurer, Donald W. Bain, of Wake. Udlter.deo.'W.-Sanderlio, of Wayne Cieriteudent i of Public Instruction Attereev General. Thoo. P. Davidson, of Btacexabe. - tOTTKTT aoTBBKMEKT ,t frkrUfTi Bloant. t- ; k LhDepty Sheriff, D.'Sprttinl- " . . Treasurer, K R. LaihAra. il 'Jyf Jt fttperierCoart Clerk. Thos, J. Marriner ..u f rwaa J. P. Hilliard. Oessauasioncrs, H.J. Starr, W. 0. Mar- riatr, D. D. Latham, job. aKitueiuarpe lU H. A.Lietcbfield. Board of Education. Tbos. 8. Armistead, r i. i'.rV.ion J Ti Norman ' iaperlntendent of Health, Dr. E. L. Cox. - j jaPcmienueui ut (uuuw v.w.. Kt. Luther Eborn. . v ? f . t . v t : ' .kT'Jv.:.- . jcitt. -:: . . Mayor and ClerV, J. W. Bryan. Treasurer, K. K. Latham. e . Chief of Potica, Joseph Tncker. ' Ceaucilmen, E. R. Latham, Q. B. Bate - t n ii RrinkUr. J. F. Norman. J. V LiBrye.. JVa1. Smith. Smpe!towe and u.u,riit-. Rm, .W.B. Moore, pastor imUu KrHimdxT at ll a. m., and 8 nC Prayer meeXiug every Wednesday ,1; sight at 8. Sunday school at 9 a. m., J. T. horaaan, rJupennienaeu Baptist Rev. J F. Tuttle, pastor, servi uir 1 tt and 3rd Sundays at ll a. m. , ..j m Praver nieetins eTert Thartday night at 7:30. Sunday nChool nt-inirp Banday t 9.80 a W.J.W. Bryan, Ra. Luther i-Etarn. . rector Tica ariry vd Bauday at 11 a. m., and T:3l'5m- ' Hamlay ichool at 10 a. m , L. 1 faaa, snperintandent. , MEDICAL BaCIKTT. MetiTiiedy afur the first Monday of Mft noath. Dr. U. r. uuntay, uuoiruuui, : C f H. Plymouth Lodge No. 2508 fi ieeta lei and Sd aftursday mgnte, in eacu d Z.I,aT W n: TUtADton' Dictator. ar iKeagrtinl Baporter. j t,HTu -of Ha Roanoke iLodge--Meeta td and 4th Thursday nights in. each month b t. jt Ji F. orman rroiecior, , ', T- ' ;r b..'B. Yeager tiecreUry. X O 6 F. Esperanra Lodge, No. 23 meete r ery Ttteaday nigui at dbmu juaii. . W. Bryan, U.Q , L. T. Houston, Sect'y. OOLOBSD. Beeeipie t- Kldet A B Hicka. pastor. KnadaY at 11 a. m.. 8. D. Dl. Masd s m. bunday school af 9 a, m. .. A Uii.Voll KnMriutaudent' " ' ' ,ie1hodis-ReT.C. B. Hogans, pa . - Mir-... I . . erTieea every 1st ana ?a oanuaya m M.. and at 8 and 7 S0 p. m. bunday school at 9 a. m., B. mggms, auperinienaeui 4. , W MeBonald, aecretary, "w i-Rntiat xew Chaos! - Services every uaday at 11 and S. i.ev 6 B Kuight, pastor Sunday aonooi every on naay Sd Baptist, Zion'a Ilill-H H Norman, paster Freaehiug every 4th Sunday. Sun day aehool erery Sunday,. Moaea Wynn, aperia Undent LODGES Masons, Carthegian - Meets 1st Monday night in eaeh month. S Towe, W M., A. ; Bverett, aearetaryf T X'l f T (- O U O "of O F Meridian Snn Lodge 1624-? Meet a Try id and 4h Monday night in eachaavntb at 7 o'clock, T. F. Btsmbry, M.Q., J W McDonald P. 8, Christopher A locks Lodge K of L NO- Meete svry lit Monday uigut iu each asonth at 8 o'clock Burying Btiety meets ever) 3d Monday aigat in each month at 8 o'clock, J M. Walker aecretary Roper Directory. ; - CXTIL. Justice of the Peace, Jaa. A. Chesson. Conatable, Warren Cahoon. CHTJBCHEB. Methodist, Rev. J. T. Finlajson, pastor, gsrvicea every Handay morning at 11 o'clock (except the first), and every Sunday - njgnt at 7:30. Prayer meeting erery HflU jet ly night: Bauiay school Sunday morn ing at 9:80, Ti a. Roper' superintendent, X. R. Lewis secretary. Episcopal, Rer. Luther Eborn, rector. Services erery 2d Sunday at 11 o'clock a. m aad7:30 p. m. Sunday school evsry , Sunday merniug at 10 o'clock, Taos. W. Blount superintendent, W. II. Daily secre. tary. Baptist, Rev. Jos. Tinch, pastor. ; Bar. yia every Sd Sunday at Ila. m4 and 7:30 p. at. . LODGES. Boper Masonic Lodge, A. F k A. M. No 448. meets in their Hall at Roper, N. C at y:80 p. m , Ut and 3d Tuesdays after 1st - iuaday. J. L. Savage, W. M-j B, L, " WiBi"PS.ycreaTy, t: ti' Importamt t Ladles. s . Sir I made use of your Philctokxx with my bust obild, in order to preoure a afe aad easy traraiL I nsed it about two - 'months before my expected time, until I was taken sick, and I had a very qick and easy confinement, nothing occurred to protract my convalescence, and I got about ia Use time than was usual for me. I think it a medicine that should be used by every expectant mother, for should they but try it aa I have, they, would never again be without it t etfeb limee-. I am yours re spectfully Ura. ELIZABETH DlX. Any merchant or druggut can procure Bislet's Philotofkh tor $1 a bottle. CHARLES F.RISLEY, VVliole.ale Drug gist, 62 Cortlaudt St., New York. THE NEED Or THE NATION. : ; Not a statesman uagnetie, Net a man sympathetic , ' With trusts and combiucs Is the need of the nation; -But a xturdy, reliable Strictly unbuyable, Strong aod uu pliable, . .Everyday man. ' r' Built up on the 'lines of honor and - NTtetue, V'?--"' ;;- '; ' , v Bui keen and alert, too A resolute man That's the need of the nation ; - Aud Qrover'a the man. One that's just to a foeman, , Yet truckles t uo u.au, ' . ! Nor swerves ftoni the right Though he meets condemnation. ' - s. A fe to .plutooKcy ; ' ' To snide ariBtocraoy, Firm for Demooracy, ; ' Leading the van, " Where hottest the fight , 'Gainst misnamed protection And bayonet election ' A.tboronghbrtd man. . : ; V That's the need of the nation, y 1 And Orover's the man, ' " - ..ewa and Observer. THE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA. : V On Vcdue8day 'of last .week the city. of . Philttdelphia : celebrated in gret style the .400th Ajiuiyersilry of the' diacovery of America by Christo pher Oolnmbns. The lino of parade was eight miles in length and iu it were no less than 30,000 people. : The Times gives a well written report of thidi great.quadri-centennial and it has the following to sajr in its editorial (lepahment, ! of - the great diacoyerer :tff . "Two contrary viows of ' Christo pher Columbus and hid works liave fouud frequent -expression of -late. One regards him as a mere adventur er, a daring freebooter lb search of o-nld. who stumbled unon a ereatdis- O 7 , covery wUhoVit kudwinj; iti iinport- ance. in tne oiuerj Tiew iw.ia inspired saint, itji a' knowledge aud foresight Tarjjeyoudiis age,- sailing on a divine mission to carry the faith to the uttomost parts of the world. As usual, both views aro false, tho' etch has in it a reflection of the truth. , f Columbus was neither a snperna- jturully endQwed saint nor a mere ad- ' r 39k tV-2 . . venturer xie, was a mau oi auitsnuu and a man of business, and a mau of faith besides ; but he waa man of tho fifteenth century, and liko overy man of the highest achievement iu whatever department of thought or action, he was the one who first suc cessfully applied to a definite cud the sum of all tho knowledge ana expe rience that had accumulated up to his time. This is what constitntes genius. Columbus was a navigator, a prac tical sea captain, llo settled in Por tugal becatfso the Portuguese were then J;he great navigators of the world and that was the place to fol low his profession. lie closely studi ed all that they accomplished and wherever any one had sailed he sailed to Iceland on the oue hand and to Guinea on the other. Ho was a student of geography and a maker of maps. It was an ago of geographical eitmnaion. The old idea of the earth as a flat plana had gradually .fcifen place to ine conception oi its rotun dity and little by little the hypothesis had become established that it would bo rtossible to sail around i it. The question was in which dirction to sail. - . The rortuguese generauy naa npraigted in sailing to the southward. and the continued extension of their voyages was one of the obstacles to the adoption of Columbus' sugges tion to sail due west. Wo now know that he was right, but the idea was no random shot ; it was simply the practical application of gradually ex tending knowledge, not based on his own imination, but on the results, of accumulated experience. It is true that Columbus endeavor ed vainly for many years to persuade the King of Portugal to provide the morris for his cohtemDlated vovacre : but the obstacles were not wholly - ' Lift MMtlc ari"4 . n 1ivn BUlCUMUi;. Alloy nvo m measure pecuniary and political. Tin smGntific navigator was also a man of affairs; lie insisted, first, that he must have an adequate outfit for the undertaking, and secondly, that Vtn must bo secured in the control and in tho profits of his expected discoveries. lie demanded more than the Kiug would grant, though the latter thought enough of the scheme to send off another sai.or sur reptitiously in the direction indicat ed by Columbus. He failed, of course because he had neither the knowled ge nor the character for a real ; dis coverer, but the fact illustrates the attention which the subject had re ceived; ." . . - ; Finding that commercial success had dulled the aspiration of the Por tuguese, Columbus turned to Spain, where intellectual and scientific ac tivity was then at its highest, and here he found the means to prosecute his great enterprise. He was by this time well on towards sixty years of age, and the plans he had formulated were the result of many years of thought, and observation. As we now inow, they involved a very in adequate idea of tho size of the earth but it required many later voyages to make this error apparent. Colum bus simply acted on the best knowl edge of his time. If ho had been born a hundred years earlier, he would not have known as much as he did and would never have made his discovery; if he had beon born later, somebody else would quito cer tainly have made it before him. Tho discovery came because the knowl edge of tho world had ripened to that point. . What Columbus especially-contributed to this inevitable event was mainly the force of his own character his energy, his thoughtfulnes3, his courage and persistence, aud a cer tain exalted -ideality and religious devotion that sustained him through an enterprise whose magnitude it is hard for us to realize in tho light of our later knowledge. To sail forth into the unknown vast, to sail and snil and still sail onward, with the eye of faith ever fixed on the unseen goal, though clouds were dark and comrades ;. faithless and tho sailors muttering threats, this is indeed the courage of the hero, the devotion of the saint, "''the achievement of the leader among men. No matter what dreams of avarice, what ambition of power and splendor may hare been his. He was only a man of his age, with its limitations as well as its ideals' But anions: the meu of his aso he was tl e one expressly called by a life of special training to the work that thou was to oo done, ana our appreciation of this work is in adequate if it fail to include an ap preciation of the man who was the effective instrument of its achieve ment. America was discovered when and as it was, as Caslelar has well said, "because Columbus possessed a living faith in his ideal, m himself, and m his God.'" POLITICAL POINTS. The St. Louis Globe-Democrat, Republican, is very mad at Judge Greshum, for turning Democrat and wants to know if he is going to re pudiate the g. o. p. why he doesn't "roaio-n the fifitfoo that was pivcn to O r- -ci him because he&a'a Republican ?" The, presumption' is that judicial of fices are given to men because they are qualified to hold them and not becauao thev "are Republicans." But it seems that even the judgeships are regarded by tho Republicans as partisan-spoils, and that the man who holds one is expected for life to tote tho party skillet. 1 Interest in the campaign is in creased by reflecting that the election of Mr. Cleveland, would probably carry with it the control of the House aud of enough State Legislatures to give the - democrats control of the Senate also. A happy change in the spirit and policy of the government must result from a triumph of Jeffcr sonion principles. Very many re publican Senators are now in the last year of their terms. : There is a pros pect that their successors will in some cases be democrats. Some six or seven of the republican Senators whose terms expire in March repre sent close States, They mayJbo 'dis placed, if there is a democratic land slide this year, as in 1890. That would mean a democratic adminis tration from top to bottom, for the first time since 1860. Balto., Sun. - - A special from Washington to the Atlanta- Constitution of tho 10th, says that President Harrison vas '- . . a 1 J il. . greatly irritated wncn lie neara mo elcetion news from Georgia; Ho is reported to havo said: 1 have washed my lianas oi tne south," the presideut added with considerable temper, "it is a land of rebels and traitors who care, nothing for the sanctity of ballot, and I will never be in lavor of making an active campaign down there until we can place bayonets at the polls. I am now more than ever in favor of ram We copy the above, word for word, as it appeared in the Constitution. It was sent to our contemporary by its special correspondent in vasuinr- ton City. The sentiment attributed to the President is such as his record proves that he entertains for the Southern people one which he has often, substantially expressed before. Wtirni flin frwrta liill tirna ruin (1 J n or 1 VIAL . in Congress he is said to have boasted that it would pass lust in time to enable him to make the Southern people a Christmas present of it. Let free men see that such a man is never elected President of this coun try again. State Chronicle. DEMOCRATIC PLATFORM. The following is the State Demo cratic platform as adopted by the state convennon assemoiea ssi&y is Besolyed, 1. That the democracy of North Carolina reaffirm the principles of tne democratic party, Botli mate and natio nal, and particularly favor the free coinage of silver and an increase of the ourrency, and the repeal of the internal revenue system. And we denounoe the McKioley tariff bill aa Unjust to the consumers of the country, and leading to the formation of trusts, combines and monopolies which have oppressed the people ; and especially do we denounce the unnecessary and bur densome inoroase in the tax on cotton ties and on tin, so largely used by the poorer portion of the people. We likewise de nounce the inequitous force bill, which is not yet abandoned by the republican party, but is being urged as a uaeaeure to be adopted as toon as they regain control of the Uouie of liepreteatatives, the purpose and effect of which measure will be to es tablish a second period of reconstruction in the Southern States, to subvert the liberties of our people aad inflame a new race an. tagonietn and sectional animosities. 2. That we demand financial reform, and the enactment of laws that will remove the burden ef the people relative to the existing agricultural depression, and do full and ample justice -to the farmers and laborers ef our country. 8. 1 hat we demand the abolition ef national banks, and the substitution of legal tender treanury notes in lieu of national bank notes, isued in sufficient volume to do the business of the country on a CABh system, regulating the ameuut needed on a per capita basis as the business interests ol the country expand, and that all mouey issued by the government shall be legal tendnr in payment of all debts, both publio and private. 4. That we demand that Congress shall pass such laws as shall effectually prevent the dealing in futures of all agricultural aud l mchanioal productions ; providing such stiingeut system of procedure in trials as shall secure prompt coavietion and im posing such penalties as shad secure l&ot perfect oompliaace with the law. 6. That we demand the free aad unlimi ted coinage of silver. 6. That we demand the passage of laws prohibiting the alien ownership ot land, and that Congrese take early steps to devise some plan to obtain all lands now owned by alien and foreign syndicates ; and that all lands now held by railroads and other corporations, in excess of such aa is actu ally used and needed by them, be reclaimed by the government and held for actual settlers only, 7. Believing in the doctrine of "equal rights to all and special privileges to none," wo demaud that taxation, national or State, shall not be used to build up one interest or class at the expense of another. We believe that the money of the uountry should be kept as much as possible in the hands of the people, and hence we demand that all revenue, national. State or county, thrill be limited to the necessary expenses of the government economically and hon C8tly administered. 8 That Congress issue a sufficient amount of fractional paper currency to facilitate the exchange Uruugh the medium of the United tftates mail. - Bxsol vzd. That the General Assembly pass suou laws as will make the publio school svstem mere effective tht the bles sings of eduoaiion may bo extended to all the people of the State alike. 'that we demand a graduated tax on in comes. THE DEMOCRATIC PLAT. FORM ON THE FORCE BILL. 4,Wc solemnly declare that the need of a return to the fundamental principles of free popular government, based on home rule aud individual lioerty, was never more urgent than now, when tho tendency to centralize all power at the f ederal capital has become a - menace to the reserved rights of toe States that strikes at the Tory roots of our Government aud the Consti tution as framed by the fathers of the republic. "Wo warn 'be people el our common country, jealous for. the preservation of their free institutions, that the polioy of the Federal control of eieetionc to which the Republican party haa committed itelf is fraught with gravest dangers, scarcely less momentous than would reuit from a revelation preotically establishing raooarohy on the rains ef tbe.repubtio. It strikes at he Korth.as well as the South and injures the eelored eilixen even more than the white. It means a Lotdc ol deputy bar shals at every polling place armed with Federal power; returning boards appointed and controlled by Federal authority the outrage of the electoral rights of the peo ple In the several ;ate s ; tne suojugauen of the oolorcdpeople to the control of the party in power, and the reviving of race antagonism, now happily abated, of the ntmoat'nerii to the safetr and.haDDineas of all a measure deliberately) and fuatly dej scribed by a leading Republican benator as the most infamous bill tbat ever crossed the threshold of the Staate." COPY OP A LETTER WRITTEN BY OUR BLESSED SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. Found eighteen miles from Ieoniuni, sixty-five years after our Blessed Savior's Crusiflctien, transmitted from the Holy City by a eonverted Jew ; faithfully trans, lated from the original Hebrew copy, now in the Lady Cuba's family of Mesopotamia This Letter was written by Jesus Christ, and found under a great stone both Bound and Large at the foot of the Cross, near a Tillage eJled Mesopotamia, upoa that stone was written and engraved, "Blessed is he that shall turn me over." All people that saw it prayed to God earnestly, and deaired he would make known te them the mean ing of this writing, that tbey might not attempt in Tun to turn it over. In the meantime there came a Child about 6 or 7 years old, and turned it over without help, to the admiration of all the people that stood by ; and under this stone was found a Letter written by Jesus Christ, which was carried te the City of Iconium, and published by a person belonging to the Lady Csba. On the letter was written the Commandments of Jesus Christ, signed by the Angel Gabriel, 98 years after ur Ba Tior's birth. To which, is added, King Agbarus' Letter to our Savior, and our Savior's answer. Also His Miracles. A COPY OF THE LETTEB, Whosoever worketh on the Sabbath day shall be cursed. I command you to go to Church aud keep the Lord's day holy, without doing any manner of work. You shall not idly misspend your time is be. decking yourselves with superfluitice of costly apparei and vain dresses, for I have oidained it a day of rest. I will have that day kept holy, that jour sins may be far- given you. You shall not break my Com mandments, but observe and keep them, written with my own hand, write them in your hearts, and steadfastly observe; this w&s written with my own hand, spoken by my own mouth. You shall not only go to Church your" selves, but also your Man-Gervanis and your Maid servants, and observe my words, and, learn my commandments You shall finish your labor every Saturday, in the afternoon, by Six o'clock, at that time the preparation for the Sabbath begins. I ad vise you to fast five Fridays in the year, beginning with Good Friday, and to con tinue four Fridays immediately folio wiug, in remembrance of the Five Bloody Wouuds I received' for all mankind. Yon shall diligently aud, peaceably labor in your respective vocations, wherein it hath pleas ed God to call you. You shall love one anoth -er with brotherly love, and cause them tLat are not baptized to come to churoh and hear the Holy Sacrament, nam ly, Bap tism and the Lord's 8upj er, and be made members thereof ; in so doing I will give long life and many blessings, and comfort you in the greatest temptations ; aud sure' ly he that doth to the contrary, shall be cursed and unprofitable. I will a bo send hardntss of heart upon them, till I have destroyed them, but especially upon Lard, ened and impenitent unbelievers. .... .He that hath given to the poor shall iot bo unprofitable. Remember to keep holy the Sabbath-day, for the seveath day I have taken to rest myself. He that hath a copy of this Letter, written with my own Land and si okeu with my own mouth, and keeps it without publishing it to others shall uot prosper, but he that publisheth it to others, shall be b'essed of me, and though bis siua be in number as the vtars of the sky, aud he believes iu this, he shall be pardoned, and if he believes not this writing, and my commandments, I will send my plagues upon him, and con.unie both him aud his ohlidren, and bis cattle ; and whosoever shall have a copy of this letter, and keep it' in their bouses, nolhing shall hurt tLem, neither Pestilence, Lightning or Thunder shall do them any hurt. If a woman be with child and iu labor, and a copy of this le'lter b about her, aod she firmly pats h-r trust in me, she shall safely bs delivered of her birth. You shall hat e no news of me, but by the Holy Spirit, until the day of Judgment All goodness and prosperity, shall be in the house where a copy of this letter shall be fsUiid. CHRIST'S CURES AND MIRACLES . Ho cleansed a Leper by only touching him; he erred the Centurion's servant afflicted with tha P-Isy ; Peter's Mother in- la wiib a F-ver several possessed with the Devils: a man sick of palsy ; raised a maid from the dead ; cured two blind men. a dumb man possessed with a devil ; a violent tempe-t stilled by him ; be fed about five thousand with five loaves and two fishes; walked on the eea ; enrtd a woman with a deul. atid multitudes tbat were lame, blind, dumb, maimed, Ac , nil the diseases ia the land of Genetaret healed by the touch of his garment. Fed above fenr thousand with sven loaves and two little fishes, &o. KNO AOBAKt'S'. LlTTEtt TO OCR BAVIOC8. I have heard of thee, and the cures wrought by thee, without Leibs or medi cines. It is reported thou restorest sight to the blind, nuketh the lame to walk, cleanssth tho leprous, ralaeth the dead, and healeth those that are tormented with diseases ef a long centinoanoe. Having heard all this of thee, I was fully persuaded to believe one of these two things, either that thoo srt the very God, and oamest down from heaven to do such miracles ; or else that thou art the Son of God, and performest them ; wherefore I have sent these lines, entrea;ing thee to ceuie hither aod cure my disease. Besides, having heard that the Jews murmured against aud con trived te do thee mischief. I invite thee te come' to my city, which ia a little one indeed, but beautiful, and suf. ficient to entertain both. OUB SAVIOUR'S AKSWIB, Blessed art thou Agberus, believing In me whom then bast not seen ; for it is written of me, that they which have seen me should believe on me,' that they which have not seen me may . believe and be saved. But concerning the matter thoo hast written about, these are to acquaint thee, that all things for which I am sent hither, mast be fulfilled, and then I shall be taken np, and return to him that sent me : but after my ascension, I will tend thee one ef my die. ciples. who shall cure thee of thy distem per and give life to thes and to them that are with thee. PSALM OF THE BALD HEADS. , Tell me not In mer.-v eu-cents That 1 have an unthatobetl roof I Tls the hairy bead that lacks sense- ' H Baldness la of thought a proof. Hair is vulgar, hair la useless. And to brush and comb a bore; Making life but dull and juiceless. I need brush and comb no more. "Not for wise men matted hair Is, Black or brown or red or fair; " . Let the savage of the prairies Waste his time in raisins hair. ' v Life is short and hairs are numbered. And. though flies are hardly borne. Still at night I've always slumbered. When the night-cap I have worn. In the world's broad field of battle. Who'd be at the barber's call. Listening to his tiresome tattle I Better bare as billiard ball. Tear no future, bald-headed brother; You were bald in infant days; . Crave not hirsute of another Brain it is, not hair, that pays. Lives of great men all remind us ' That our smooth and polished pates Leave all hairy heads behind us Let us thank the favorino; fates Footprints of Old Time's fleet walking No one sees on our smooth crowns; Mind no more the Idle talking Made by anxious mop-head clowns. Let us then, O hairless brother. Proudly through life's pathway roll; ' We remember that dear mother Earth is barren at the pole. ' - A Candid Opinion. Civil Engineer (in search of data) Is it not the opinion of many peoplo in this locality that the excessive over flow of these bottom lands is due to the lock and dam system ? Native (of Illinois Hirer bottom) I reckon. - . Based on the fact that dams retard the velocity of the current and increase the deposit of sediment in the rives bottom, thus gradually elevating ita bed?" " I guess that's about bit." . ' You have resided in this ricinit many years, have you not ?" . "Ever since I wuz a boy." - " May I ask if your theory coincides with that I have just suggested ?" "Hey?" "As to the flooding of these lands, I dare say you have an opinion concern ing the cause of it ? "You bet I have." "In your judgment, then, what b the cause?" 1 -Rain." 1 Takes another chew of plug tobacco and gazes away into vacancy as before. 1 Chicago Tribune, Tory Queer. Effie Did Georce clav football wMl he was at college ? Maud No, I don't think he did. Effie Did he row on the crew ? Maud I never heard anvthintr ahnnf it. ' Effie Then he must have Tilnml baseball. Maud He never said anvthinc ahnnt it I'm pretty bum he didn't, though. sumo mat s very queer. Maude Why? Effie Because I heard that he was graduated with honors. Harvard Lam poon, Time Is Money. Colonel Simpson, who was . aTwavs asking people to advance him money, died Dot long ago at the age of pighty six. Two gentlemen, one of whom had advanced him money very frequently, were talking about the deceased, when one of them took occasion to say : ' "With him the ruling passion waj strong in death." W. tenM mrjrtMag. W. Mart voa. Ho rta. Ta . your .par aoaiui, or au war flm. to lb. wk. atlnty a.w lradjii betr woadwfU ac.m to Bwfcuun an auniiog tr-ai Hit . T. CM per ir.t auI Mvtm tftwt a 1UU. umMm. Wa caa ferl.t i ptoroiMil and Muto fnm m a- No r.r..,. fcuonuik'aa aB. '1 It tdl Al, ,