" .
V
THE-
V .A.N EXCELLENT J
ADVKE&ISING EIEDIUTI.
Liflclai Organ of Washington County.
PIEST OF ALL THE HEWS.
Circulates txUnsIvely in the CountlM of
J:b Printing In ItsVartous Branchas.
Wasb!otdn, Martin. Tyrreli tnj EsaaforL
. l.OO , YEAR IX ADVANCE. ' . FOR GOD. FOR COUNTRY, A'1 FOR TRUTH." . . ' 8IKGLE COPT, 5 CENTS.
. VOL. IX. PLYMOUTH, N. C., FRIDAY, JUNE 24. 1898. ' . NO. 40.
BABY'S
When mother wakes
Her babe and breaks
The silence with hor speech,
No word of It,
Despite my wit,
Doth my awed reason reach.
Choctaw and Greek
And verbal freak
Of languages -long dead
Did ne'er before,
The wide world o'er,
Such barren nonsense shed.
3 An Old Maid's Love Affair.
j BY JAMKS BUCRHAM. F
A child crying down in the swauip
what could it mean? Miss Abigail
Drew stopped and set down the heavy
basket of lunch she was carrying to
thimen in the hayfield. It surely
wm a child's cry and a baby's, too!
How it stirred the chords of her lone
ly, longing heart! Mis3 Abigail loved
love, and yet it had been years since
she had even heard a baby cry.. Liv
ing alone with her brother and his oc
casional help on that remote farm, all
social relationships, all neighborly
amenities and delights were almost
entirely denied her. And above all
things she missed and longed for the
nunny presence of children. She felt
that, if she only had a child to care for,
her barren, empty life would overflow
with joy and purpose., The days, now
so sad and meaningless, would be so
rich and blessed then! Ah U there is
nothing like the infinite aching of the
mother-heart in a childless breast.
Therefore, that child-cry, floating
up trom the swamp, was heavenly
Wusic to the heart of Miss Abigail
I li'ow Sim slnanArl lipr Tianrlfl and lis
tened, her whole being absorbed in
the associations connected witn tne
sound. Suddenly her heart surged
Jnf- lior tlirnaf an A ' uTia rfl11orht. llAr
breath with the thought that rushed
across her mind what if a baby had
been left in the swamp deserted !
And what if Bhe should be the one tk
find it and take it home, and, oh, what
if nobody should ever come to claim
it! The wistful face of the woman
paled and flushed and flushed and
paled in swift succession as her heart
brooded upon this wonderful possibil
ity. At length, with a little cry that
was all a prayer, she sprang toward
the swamp.leaviug the basket of lunch
ander the blaze of .the July sun.
When she emerged from the thick,
low woods at the bottom of the pas
ture, her dress, was torn and her face
scratched and streaming with perspi
ration, but the rapture and triumph that
shone in her eyes, as she looked down
npon a bundle strained to her breast,
showed that life for her had suddenly
been lifted above all ordinary conditions
and considerations and that she was
only conscious of walking upon such
roseate air as the old painters limned
beneath the feet of their exalted Ma
donnas. ' A little face peeped out trom
the ragged shawl that wrapped Miss
Abigail's precious burden, but the
plaintive cry had ceased, aud the blue
eye3 of the little foundling were gaz
ing up into those "two springs of lim
pid love" that shone above them.
Nathan Drew and his two hired men
werer waiting impatiently under the
shadow of a big elm tree when their
breathless provider finally arrived
with the basket of lunch and that
strange bundle upon her left arm. It
was long past noon, and Nathan Drew
was fretting and fuming at his sister's
unaccountable delay.
"What in 'tarnel kept you so long?"
he demanded, as the panting woman
dropped the basket under the shadow
of the elm. "And,for goodness' sake,
what ye got in yer arms?"
"A baby, Nathan!" replied his sis
ter, in a voice full of soft, reverential
joy. - "A poor little baby that was,
left in the swamp. I heard it crying
v nJ went to find it, and that's what
ide me so late."
"HumphP'said Nathan Drew, taking
the covering from'the basket aud in
specting its contents. "What be ye
goin' to do with it?"
A cloud swept across the radiant
face of the woman. There was some
thing distinctly forbidding in her
brother's tone and manner. Evident
ly, the only question that had entered
his mind was how to get rid of the
unwelcome encumbrance that had
been left upon his land. Their
thoughts were traveling in diamet
rically opposite directions the
woman's towards retaining the child,
the man's towards disposing of it.
There was something of the protec
tive cunning of love in Abigail's evasive
answer to her brother. "Probably
Bompl",',w"ill come along and claim
it i ' "ile," she said.
V'aughed derisively.
"Hjjrite out of one
thicken 6and
with a g'nlp
V. "Very
very
"tain.
"?in
1
WISDOM.
Yet baby's eyes
Make glad replies,
And baby's tiny hands
Applausive move
To deftly prove ' .
How baby understands.
And though my store
Of lingual lore
s my chief boasts among,
The facts disclose
That baby knows
More of the mother tongue.
Richmond Dispatch.
"Well, come on, boys. Hitch up
here and have something to eat!"
cried the farmer. "We can't bother
about a baby all day. There's work to
be done.'!
The tongues of the hired men were
loosed as their anxiety disappeared,
and one of them, a smart little French
Canadian, exclaimed:
"Ah guess ah know where dat
bebby come from, me! Dat mans leev
in lumber shanty on Coon Hill; he
gone, an' heez ol'. hooman have free,
four, five bebby prob'ly too. Ah
bet dat mans left dat bebby.seh!"
"I shouldn't wonder," replied Na
than Drew. "Shiftless chap! Camp
ing down on my property with
out even asking permission and using
my lumber shanty, stove and wood!
I'm glad he's gone, but I wish he'd
taken his hull blame brood with him.
The young un '11 prob'ly grow tip jest
like the rest of 'em, lazy and wuth
less!? "Ah heard say," continued the lit
tle Frenchman, "dat man's Hinglish
man, good fambly, but not ver' strong
for work. Los heez health an' 'bliged
for take to de wood3. No money no
health big fambly. Ah guess ah'll
do 'bout same t'ing as him, bah gosh,
if ah get too much bebby!"
"Don't doubt it, Alphonse," re
joined the farmer." "That's jest the
sort of a critter you be and yer hull
'Canuck tribe."
Alphonse grinned appreciatively and
took no offence. Then silence fell
upon the three men until the last
crumb and drop of their noonday lunch
had disappeared.
Abigail tenderly laid the baby down
in the grass while she gathered to
gether the dishes and napkins and re
packed them in the basket. Her
brother stood over her, watching. He
was a spare, hard-faced, iron-gray
man, who showed by every line and
feature the absence of sentiment in
his make-up. The woman's hands
trembled as she worked. She knew
he was about to say something con
cerning the child. Presently, he
spoke:
"You
kin keep that young un jest
two days, 1 Abigail. Then, if there
don't nobody come to claim it, I am
goin' to take it to the Foundling Hos
pital." Having thus delivered him
self, he shouldered his pitchfork and
walked determinedly away.
Tears obscured the homeward path
of the little woman as she struggled
through the shimmering sunlight with
the infant on her arm. She knew that
her brother would be turned from his
purpose neither by argument nor by
entreaty. He had spoken, and that
was an end of it. the inflexible ulti
matum of that old Puritan-bred tyr
anny that survives in so many heads
of New England households.
But, though the path was blurred,
it took her home the only home she
had ever known, the roof under which
she had been born and reared and
which had descended to her elder
brother when their parents died.
Hastening to thepantry.she took milk
and warmed it for the babe, half stu
pefied by starvation. Then, clumsily,
yet with a woman's instinct, she spar
ingly fed the child with a spoon, a few
drop? at a time. As life came back to
the little body with nourishment, the
baby cried weakly, and Abigail
strained it to her bosom, while tears
of mingled joy and pity rained down
upon the little head. What a pretty
child it was, despite its suffering!
What a clear, white skin; what a lit
tle, pointed, dimpled chin; what blue,
blue eyes; what breadth of forehead
and fullness of temple; what daiuty
little hands; what' a soft, sweet neck
for nestling a mother's lips!
For two days Abigail Drew lived in
the awful joy of one who drains the
nectar from a cup . which, when
emptied, must be dashed to earth.
She tried to put away the thought that
she and that little baby girl must part.
She tried to make those two precious
days heaven enough for all of life.
She tried, with all the dutifnlness and
reverence of her nature, to bow to her
brother's will and be content. But
every hour the whisper in her heart
grew stronger and more insistent
"Cleave to the child. Keep her, cher
ish her. She is yours, a gift of God,
the answer to your life-long prayer."
At last she went to her brother and
poured out her heart with an intensity
of passion he had never suspected in
that quiet, reserved, meekly subser
vient sister of his. But, although
onmriiuil nml A i tnrli(i Na t li nn Drew
Vas not moved. His hcrt remaiued
Vivlarato. To him the thought of a
vndling child in the house was uu
'vlurable. Never a lover of children,
convinced in his own heart
that ' childlessness was the more
blessed state, how could he be ex
pected to look with favor upon an
adopted baby, a child concerning
whose antecedents and propensities
one knew absolutely nothing? No! he
would not hear to it. To the Found
ling Hospital at Mayfield the little
waif must go.
Towards evening of the last day of
her probation Abigail Drew began to
gather together certain little treasures
of her own heirlooms. Her mother's
Bible, the laces left her by Aunt Ju
dith, an old-fashioned watch and
chain, six silver spoons, worn as thin
as paper these, and a few other
things, she wrapped in a bundle; and
then, taking I a by and bundle in her
arms, she went out,closing the kitchen
door reverently and softly behind her.
Down the road, through the haze of
the late afternoon, she walked, as
one in a dream, leaving behind her all
that she had ever known and loved
hitherto.
From the distant meadow came tho
sound of whetstone on g-ythe-blade
what a clear, cheery ring! How
could Nathan beat such music with
banishment for the babe for both of
them, did he but know it! in his
heart?
Beyond the bridge, Abigail turned
into the woods and followed the
stream westward, for the road ran too
near the meadow where Nathan and
his men were haying. The child fell
to crying, but she nestled it and kept
on. Just before sunset she came out
of the woods upon another road and
followed it southward. The summer
dusk began to deepen, yet she met no
traveler and passed no house. What
a lonely country it was, that New
Hampshire mountain valley! The
great hills looked down over the
woods like stern-faced giants. The
night air smelled of swamps and piny
glens and deep-buried solitudes. The
voices were all those of wild creatures,
mysterious and hidden. How the
weary, heart-sick woman longed for
the sight of a roof, a chimney, an open
door especially for the face of one
of her own sex. Only the heart of a
woman understands a woman's heart!
At last, when the fireflies began to
drift across her path like sparks from
the crumbling .embers of the sunset,
Abigail, turning a bend in the road,
came suddenly upon the welcome
glow of a farmhouse window. She
hastened forward and, turning into the
little path between the lilac bushes,
approached the open door. A man
sat upon the doorstep smoking, and, as
he saw the approaching figure, ; he
rose and called his wife.
A buxom, sweet-faced woman came
bustling to the door, skewer in hand.
The moment Abigail's eyes rested
upon her face she cried:
"Lucinda Jones!"
The skewer fell clattering upon the
floor, and the two women rushed to
gether, like amicable battering-rams,
the arms of the larger embracing
friend and child in their expansive
embrace.
"Abigail Drew! Be you still living
in these parts? I heard, away out in
York state, where we just moved from,
that you and your brother had gone
west 20 years ago. My! and you've
been and married and got a baby?
Come in come in! Lorenzo.fetch the
rocker out of the settin' room. How
glad I am to see you again, Abigail. I
thought you and me was parted for
ever."
How straight love had led her wan
dering feet! Abigail sank down in
the cushioned rocker and marveled at
the cheerful firelight playing on the
face of the sleeping babe. Welcome
refuge sympathy! Ah! she had
not obeyed the inward voice in vain.
Six weeks was Nathan Drew a-search-ing
for the treasure he had lost. He
drove east, west, north and south,
stopping at every mountain farmhouse
to seek news of his sister. Nobody
had seen her going or coming. The
yawning earth could not have swal
lowed her more completely.
But at last he found her. She was
sitting, with her baby, on a low chair
under the lilac bushes, and he spied
her before he had reached the house.
She saw him at the same moment and,
springing up like a hunted creature,
made as if she would have fled. But
he stopped her with a pleading ges
ture and a look on his face such as she
had not seen since they were children
together.
"You don't know how I've missed
you, Abigail," he said, simply, draw
ing rein in front oi the lilac bushes.
The man looked haggard and worn,
and there was a pathetic tone in his
voice.
"I can't go home with you, Nathan,"
said Abigail, firmly; and she pressed
the rosy child closer to her bosom.
Yet there was a yearning look in her
eyes that her brother was not slow to
interpret.
"I've thought it all over sence you
left, Abigail," he said; "and it's b en
borne in upon me that, per'aps, I was
wrong about the child. Come home,
and you shall keep it as long as you
live. I won't say another word. It's
the only love affair you ever hed, Abi
gail, and I ain't a-gpin' to stand any
ionger between yoji and your heart."
The tears welled, to Abigail's eyes as
she came out into the road with her
child. "Put yonr hand on her head,
NathaJ," she sari, "aad swear to mo
that you will never part us. Then I
will go home with you."
, Nathan Drew hesitated a moment.
Then he touched the child's head with
the tips of his horny fingers and said:
"I swear it, Abigail."
So they two and the child went
home together. New York Post.
CETTINC NEWS FROM MANILA.
It Makes a Circuitous and Laborious
Journey Before Keachlng New York.
News trom Manila, which is perused
so eagerly nowadays by all Americans
and probably by Spaniards also
has to make a circuitous and laborious
journey before it reaches either Mad
rid, London or New Y'ork. It travels
about 14,000 miles under sea and over
land, and is passed from station to
station by inort Jhan a dozen opera
tors, almost each one of them in a
different country. In consequence of
the cutting of tne single telegraphic
cable which connects the Philippine
Islands with China, the news which
has recently been received from Man
ila was carried to Hong Kong by boat.
The distance between Hong Kong and
Balinao, the cable station of the Phil
ippines, is about 1000 miles. Balinao
is 30 miles from Manila.
From Hong Kong, telegraphic news
destined for New York is flashed over
a second cable under the China sea, to
Saigon; thence it goes to Singapore, at
the end of the Malay peninsula, where
it is taken up by another operator and
sent on to Penang; its next objective
point is Madras, India, from whence
it is sent overland across India to
Bombay. From Bombay a cable takes
the message under the Indian ocean
to Aden; from Aden it passes along
under the Bed sea to Suez, thence to
Port Said and Alexandria successive
ly. Upon leaving Alexandria it goes
through the Mediterranean sea to
Malta and from Malta to Gibraltar.
The operators at Gibraltar may then
transmit the message in either one of
two ways; they can send it direct to
Land's End, the western extremity of
Cornwall, England, or they can send
it to Lisbon, Portugal. " Tho usual
practice is to send cable messages
from Gibraltar to Land's End; from
the latter point the message goes
overland to London. The London
operator sends it to Water ville, on the
west coast of Ireland, and from there
it crosses the Atlantic oceau to Canso,
Nova Scotia, and the Canso operator
passes it on to New York. All the
cables used from Manila to Great
Britain are owned and controlled by
the Eastern Cable company. Coming
across the Atlantic, tho cables of the
Commercial Cable company, or those
controlled by the Western Union and
other lines may be used.
Any individual sending a message
from Manila to New Y'ork would have
to pay $2.35 for each word. If the
message is sent direct from Hong
Kong it costs $1.60 per word. The
rates between the Philippines and
Hong Kong are higher in proportion
than between any of the other points
along the route. This fact is explained
by old telegraph men on the theory
that there is so little cable business'
done between Manila and Hong Kong
that the rates must be pretty high in
order to make the cable pay.
Ordinarily the transmission of a
message of any length from Manila to
New York will actually consume five
hours of time. One word could be
sent through in a little less than two
minutes, but in order to accomplish
that feat an operator would have to be
on the watch at each station and rush
the Avord along. In the regular order
of business, however, delays of a
greater or lesser degree are inevitable
at each station.
The difference in time between
Manila and New Y'ork is about 13
hours. While the resident of this
city is eating his 9 o'clock breakfast
the person of regular habits in Man
ila is wooing slumber, for it is there
10 o'clock p. m. If a telegraphic mes
sage sent from Manila at 10 o'clock in
the evening could come through to
New York instantaneously, it would
reach here at 9 o'clock in the morning
of the same day. But allowing for
the five hours consumed in transmis
sion, a cablegram sent from Manila at
10 p. m. would reach here at 2 p. m.
of the same day. In the ordinary
course of business a telegraphic mes
sage will come through to New l'ork
from Hong Kong in about four hours
and a half.
Expert handlers of telegraph cables
say that with a properly equipped
cable ship a cut cable in the deep sea
can be put together in a very few
days. The electricians are able to
locate the break within a nr.le 6it the
actual point of separation, and 'the
grappling apparatus of the cable ship
is able to pick up the loose ends of a
cable very quickly. New York Times.
A Nebraska School ma'am.
An editor down in Nebraska visited
the schoolma'am and found her "hot
stuff." Here's what he swears to:
"She is the pride of the town, the stat
of invention aud a jewel of brilliancy.
She drew a picture of an iceberg on
the blackboard. It was so natural
that the thermometer froze up solid.
With rare presence of mind she seized
a crayon aud drew a fireplace on the
opposite wall. The 'prompt action
saved the school, but nearly all the
pupils caught a severe cold from the
sud'ien changes. Crookston Tia-es.
JACK "KIUS CHUECH."
HOLDING SUNDAY SERVICES ON A
U. S. MAN OF WAR.
When a Small White Triangular Pen
nant Bearing a Blue Greek Cross Flies
From the Gaff Divine Worship Is Being
Held-Duties of the Ship's Chaplain.
When there is seen flying from the
gaff of a United States man-of-war a
small, white triangular pennant, bear
ing on its fie,Id a blue Greek cross near
the pike or halyard, it is a signal that
divine service is being held on board.
"Big church!" is one of the regular
naval orders, issued usually at about
10.30 on Sunday morning. Church is
"rigged" in various places according
to the weather conditions. If the day
is fine and not too cold, the quarter
deck will probably be selected, although
in some ships it is customary to hold
the service on the forward part of the
gundeck. In stormy weather the
berthdeck below is used, where the
men may be under shelter, though
they are more cramped for room.
Assuming that the service is to be
held on the quarterdeck, the arrange
ments for it will proceed about like
this: When the bugler gives the sig
nal the "church ensign" is hoisted to
the gaff, and some of ' the men, under
the direction of an officer.bestir them
selves briskly in making the simple
preparations which are necessary. A
few wardroom chairs are brought up
from below and ranged along the star
board side, where the officers are to
assemble, and benches, capstan bars
resting on buckets, make seats for the
crew on the port side. The organ
for every ship that has a chaplain is
provided with an instrument of this
nature is put in a convenient place.
If there is a band, and its services are
desireM, a few musicians are selected
and stationed near by. Then the ship's
bell is tolled for about five minutes,
giving the officers and men, wherever
they may be on board, sufficient time
to assemble, if they are so inclined.
The boatswain may call down the
hatchways, "Silence, fore and aft,
during divine service!" but it is well
understood by the entire crew ' that
the ship must be quiet now for about
three-quarters of an hour. Finally
the bell stops; the captain after a
glance around, makes a sign to the
chaplain that all is ready, and the ser
vice begins.
How it is conducted depends upon
the denomination to which the chap
lain belongs, and various sects are
represented among the naval clergy
men. The singing, aecompatried by
the organ, which is played either by
an officer or by some musician among
the crew, is generally fine. The men
enjoy it, and their voices ring out
strong and fresh in the open air. Dur
ing the prayers they are required to
remOve their caps, but throughout the
rest of the service they may remain
covered. When it is over, th9 order
to "Pipe down!" i3 given, and church
is "unrigged." Sometimes an even
ing service is also held, but this is not
the general custom.
Attendance at church on the war
ships, is, of course, not compulsory,
but the officers are expected to attend,
by way of furnishing an example,
and most of them usually do, accom
panied by perhaps about half the crew
sometimes more and sometimes less.
But by no means all the ships of the
navy are provided with chaplains.
For the fifty or sixty war vessels now
effective for service, there are twenty
four chaplains, or less than one for
every two ships. They are attached
to the largest and most important ves
sels, where their ministrations may
reach the greatest number of persons
A queer incident happened a few
years ago, when one of the modern
cruisers was put into commission. It
had been intended that she should
carry a chaplain, but when the officers'
quarters were completed it was found
that his room had been entirely over
looked. No accommodation for him
thus being available, the ship put to
sea without a chaplain, and did not
have one for at least two years. In
an action the chaplain's duties are with
the sick and wounded. Occasionally,
however, his aid has been required at
the guns, and in many instances the
chaplains have proved themselves
heroic fighters as well as good preach
ers. In the old days of tb.9 navy the
chaplain wore the full uniform of
his rank lieutenant, lieutenant-commander
or commander but it is now
customary for him to wear, a suit of
black, or the regular costume of what
ever church he represents, sometimes
with the insignia of his rank upon his
sleeve.
' ' Property in Animals.
Beasts which have been thoroughly
tamed and are used for burden, oi
husbandry or for food, such as horses,
cattle and sheep, are as truly proper
ty of intrinsic value, and are entitled
to the s4me protection, as any kind of
goods. ( But dogs and cats, even in a
atate of domestication, have always
been held by the American courts to
be entitled, to less legal regard and
protection than the more harmless and
useful tomestic animals. Similarly
the responsibilities of the owner ol
them ar less. Thus an owner of a
dog or est is not responsible for its
trespasses on the lauds of another, as
he is for me trespasses of Lis cattle.
THE SONG OF DEWEY'S CUNS. ,
What Is this thunder music from the other
side of the world, "
That pulses through the severing seas and
round the planet runs?
'Tla the death song of old Spain floating
from the Asian main;
There's a tale of crumbling empire In the
song of Dewey's guns!
The hand that held the sceptre once of all
the great world seas,
And paved the march with dead men's
bones 'neath all the circling suns,
Grew faint with deadly fear when that
thunder song drew near, ;
For the dirge of Spain was sounded the
song of Dewey's guns !
There is music in a cannon, yet, for all Sons
of Peace
Yea, the porthole's belching anthem Is soft
music to her sons
When the iron thunder song sings the death
of ancient wrong
And a dying wrong was chanted by tha
song of Dewey's guns.
Sam Walter Fobs, in New York Sua.
HUMOROUS. '
Kirby (gloomily) Wheat went down
from $1. 05 to 94c today. Mrs. Kirby .
I thought men didn't believe in
bargain days.
"Do you know Flo's engagement u
broken off?" "No. How did it hap
pen?" "He sent her a song called
When We Were Young. "
"Dab, is some folks," said Uncle
Eben, "dat 'ud a heap rather hab a
reputation foh bein' . unlucky dan er
record foh industriousness."
Little Pitcher I don't think papa
loves me as much as he loves my
mamma. Mamma says papa tells her.
fairy stories. He never teila any to
me.
Giles I just heard that Hawkins
referred to me as a perfect idiot,
Smiles Oh, don't mind what Haw
kins says; he always exaggerates more
or less.
"When er man gits de reputation o
bein, able to exuhcise patience," said
Uncle Eben, "folks gin'rally don' let
'im run much resk of 'is gettin' outer
practice."
He Have you heard of this new
cure for nervous prostratioa? The
patient is not allowed to talk. She
I'd just as soon die from prostration
as exasperation. '
"Of course," observed the thin
wheelman, "water won't run up hill."
"Well," replied the fat wheelman,
who was still puffing and blowing, 4,I
don't blame it."
Millie Why do you never speak to
Mr. Marples now? He is uncouth,
but I feel sure he is a diamond in th
rough. Clara So do I. That's why
I'm cutting him.
Watts Did you know that a piano
has been built that can be heard sis
miles? Potts That isn't so bad as It
sounds. Plenty of guns will carry
twice that distance.
Briggs Was the Boston girl pleased
when you proposed? Griggs Inn
mensely. ,., She said that in twenty
minutes' straight talk I didn't make
one grammatical error.
There was a time in every man's
life when his wife would have believed
him if he had reported that the streets
were rivers filled with swimming ele
phants; but how time flies!
Mrs. Quiverful Do you know, dear,
that I think the baby sometimes criea
in hef sleep? Mr. Quiverful (savage
ly) I don't know about that, but I
know she often cries in mine.
Singleton Now that you have been
married to the heiress for several
months, I want to ask you: Is mar
riage a failure? Benedick Well, my
wife has suspended payment.
"Ah, there's nothing like the bi
cycle. I've been unable to sleep for
years, and " "You rode a wheel
and it cured you?" "No, but a wheel
man ran into me and I was insensible
for several minutes."
Housekeeper (to book agent who
brings tenth installment of a novel)
I can't take the book; Mr. Meier is
dead. Book Agent Oh, what a
shame! It's right in the most excit
ing part of the story!
Little Edward Papa, what ,is an
agnostic? Papa Your mamma is an
agnostic my dear. When I comj
home at night and tell her what I have
been doing she doesn't exactly dis
believe she just doesn't know..
"What iutensely red hair that young
man has!" exclaimed Maud. "I'm
surprised that you seem to like him
ao well." "Oh," replied Mamie, "
don't like him very well. I never in
vite him to anything but pink teas."
Edith Mrs. Mauve appears to be a
regular iconoclast Bertha Yes.
Edith You know she used to saj
that her husband was the idol of hei
heart. Bertha I know, Edith
Well, by her extravagance that idol
is dead broke.
Judge The witness says he saw
you take the w'atch out of the ptwket
of the complainant and hand it to a u
other man. What have you to say ta
that? Prisoner Doesn't that prove
that I didn't mean anything wrong
I only did it for a pass-time. See?
"Tartly's a mean old joker," de
clared the fashionable doctor. "Wh:tt
has he been doing now?' "Jut met
him on the street and asked hitii how
he was. He handed me a $2 bill,
said he never felt o well in his life,
asked me to mail receipt, and was
gone before I realized -what he was
at."
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