V
""--'-L
-THEJ-
AJSf EXCELLENT)
u!:ial Organ of Washington County.
PLBST OF' All THE V
ADVERTISING MEDIUH.'
1
Circulates cxlensivtly In the Ceunllas tf
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FOB GOD, FOU COUNTRY, AND FOB TRUTH."
SINQLK COPY, 5 CENTS.
VOL. IX.
PLYMOUTH, N. C, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 1898.
NO. 51.
'IlSiil T',:''-''V
lit
n
i
1
" FATE' .'
Fair as the summer azure
, A timid ylolet blew ,
Close to the fort's embrasure,.
O'er which the hot shells flew.
'Koath battle-smoke and thunder .
I The fort was quickly stilled,
Its huge wall blown asuuder,
Its brave defenders killed.
Still on the fortress battered,
- Whose heroes lay entombed
Beneath their banners tattered,
The peaceful violet bloomed.
-E. K. Munkittriek In Collier's Weekly.
A City Tragedy.
"My goot frient, what shall I haf
Jone nut this ?"inquired Stomp pathet
jcaljly as I entered his room one day.
vere is a man who haf to see me
5atennd he cannot speak der words
.' a6f hear, and he haf hurt der hand so
. ic he to write is not able." .
. tomp was evidently in a state of
tome excitement, for his nervous energy
sras always in direct ratio to his in
ability to speak the Queen's English.
What's wrong?'; I asked.
"More monkey dricks,"said Stomp;
"Pah! I with der human race dis-
gasted am. I colne home and my dih
ner'expect, und l find dot, und he haf
give me dis!" saying which he flung
i dirty scrap of "paper across to me.
l'tinfolded it, and saw an erratic
scrawl,. evidently written with a blunt
pencil, and so much smudged and
smeared as to be illegible in parts. I
managed to decipher painfully a few
words.
'Kommen sie gleich. . Folgen- ;
Sie haben mich gefangen. Eringen
ein anderer iq-
rPVe8-.
irt. A. de B. -
Hng the paper back. ' .;"
"Ach, drifei you shall gall it, my so
goot friend! Dot is der language of
der gods," -;v. -
"Possibly, "I answered. "It's Greek
to met anyway."
"The paper haf say," said Stomp
solemnly: " 'Come at once. Follow
(brobably der bearer). - They haf
saught me. tiring another man with
yon. Urgent.' Und it is sigued 'A.
de B. : Dot is. De Brenne, who haf
been gone from England six months.
. I do not onderstand, but I haf think
i Hhat rows there will be. This bagan
is der servant of my frient. He was
born mit dree senses only. You will
come with me? Und on der way I will
tell you der story of De Breune. "
fYes; of course I'll come," said L
'I'm spoiling -for a row.
"Dere shall be der very big rows,"
aid Stomp.,
All this time the deaf-and-dumb
messenger sat motionless a3 a carved
" statue, watching our.faces as we talked.
I think that, in common with others
. afflicted as he was, he had the power
of understanding our speech by the
movement of our lips. . At any rate,
his face brightened when he saw
Stomp making preparations to start,
and sprang from his chair with a' low
gutteral sound unlike anything I ever
heard before. It gave me quite a
shock, and, turning rapidly to the
man, I saw that the hair on the back
of his head was darkened "and matted
together. Stomp's eyes followed
mine. .
"Ya, I haf noticed," he said. "Dere
will da der first-glass rows. Haf you a
revolver?"
I shook my head.
V Stomp unlocked a case on the man
telpiece, and hauded me one, a long
1 barrelled 32 Smith & Wesson; the
fellow to it he slipped in his pocket.
"They're not, loaded," said I, snap
ping the breech to.
, Stomp grinned. "I have der shells
in niy bocket. Butder moral force ia
der safest; you might shoot me in der
log or der pinafore."
"You do make a fair target," I re
" .-ted, a little nettled, for I think
. jJvjthing of myself as a revolver shot,
""" i 1 tjnmp'fl waist measurement is a
record. - '
Ha loloked at the uncanny mes
senger, who, with another of his gut
tural BoAnda,, nodded, and made swift
, ly for thje door.
When' we got out-side Stomp hailed
a four-Wheeler, and glanced inquir
ingly at our guide. "Piccadilly?" he
8VvL The man grunted, and Stomp
ited the word to the driver.
rJow,"said he, as the cab lumbered
ag, l snau tea yon aer siory.
ihia De Brenne of whom I spoke.der
writer of der note, is a great friend of
rnine. I haf known him many years.
Jn is very rich man; his uncle haf
' 1 ' i sH the money. There is also
Brenne dot ia named
rle Bortugaest blood
Vj also der nephew
N '
my frient
"-3d he haf
" ,dot he
was
wet, half-deserted streets, and .finally
pulled up at the entrance to a narrow
little passage at the back of Berkeley
square. ,
"So'said Stomp, "they have caught
him in his own house."
The deaf-and-dumb messenger
scrambled off the box and opened the
door for us, and we followed him along
the narrow pavement in the pouring
rain.' About fifty yards from, where
the cab was standing he stopped op
posite a small door let into the Wall,
and motioned us to be quiet.
. Ha opened the door noiselessly with
a small key, and we walked softly
along a dark, narrow passage of con
siderable length. As far as I could
make out we were entering one of the
Berkeley square houses by a private
entrance. I whispered as much to
Stomp, who nodded in rejjly, at the
same time holding up a warning finger
not to speak.
Our guide, who was leading, stopped'
suddenly, and Stomp and I stumbled
up against him in the darkness. Just
ahead I could see a tiny spot of light,
evidently a hole in the panelling,
through which the interior of the bril
liantly lit room beyond was visible. "
Stomp applied his eye to this, and
for a second or so the point of light
was blotted from view; then he drew
back his heacTwith a jerk, and with a
sudden hissing, indrawn breath.
"Ach! der villains!" he said, in a
hoarse whisper; and, slipping his hand
into his pocket, he handed me some
shells. "Der play-agting business is
over.' Der rows shall be real rows."
And he snapped the breech of his
revolver to with a vicious snap.
The panel slid noiselessly into its
casing in the wall, and Stomp and I
stepped into the room. I shall never
forget the view that met my eye. It
seemed as though I were dreaming,
acd had suddenly been wafted back to
mediaeval days; it was incredible that
such a scene should be enacted here
in the end of the nineteenth century,
in a smart house in the very heart of
a great city. Firmly lashed to an
ordinary kitchen table chair sat a man
whom I immediately recognized as De
Brenne from Stomp's description. His
head was bent forwards, and round
his temples was a . piece of thin cord
twisted so tightly that it had cut into
the flesh. A man behind him was in
creasing the pressure from time to
time by turning a short piece of stick
which was inserted in the cord, whilst
two others were making preparations
for even more ghastly and inhuman
torture. 1
De Brenne's face was a putty color,
and great beads of prespiration were
streaming. down it. On a small table
in front of the group was what looked
like a legal document, pens and ink,
and, a jug of cold water, which had
evidently hem used to revive De
Brenne should he lose consciousness
under the terrible ordeal.
The room was perfectly quiet, save
for a low moan now and again from
the victim as an extra twist or so made
the pain unendurable. , The three
fiends were so occupied with their
brutal task that they did not'' notice
our entrance. '
"Will you sign?" asked the mani
pulator of the string in a low.pleasant
voice.
A stifled moan was the only answer,
which rose to a sharp wail as the stick
was turned another half revolution.
Stomp raised his arm, paused for a
second stea.lily. as a rock, pressed the
trigger, and the man's arm dropped
limp from the elbow downward, fie
gave a yelp of pain and surprise, which
was echoed by his two companions,
and clapped his other hand to the
wound. The string relaxed and De
Brenne's head dropped forward on his
chest he had fainted.
"Hands up!" shouted Stomp. One
of tire two uninjured men slipped his
hand behind his coat-tails.
Crack! wfnt the revolver again, and
a small pocket-pistol dropped to the
floor, whilst the fellow's band was
splashed with crimson drops.
It was wonderful shooting. I be
lieve Stomp cauld have picked out the
buttons ou the man's waistcoat, had he
chosen. .
i'Now," said Stomp to me, "will
yon haf der goodness to take down the
der curtain-ropes and to tie up der
hands of our friends therewith?"
This I did whilst Stomp still kept
them covered with that ominous black
smudged barrel. After which he
crossed the room and, throwing open
the windows waked the stillness of the
night by requesting the presence of
"a boliceman" in stentorian tones.
Marvellous to relate, one came in less
than five minutes, followed by three
more whom he summoned.
Meanwhile I had been doing my ut
most to revive De Brenne, with suffi
cient success to enable him to make a
short statement to the inspector, which
resulted in our three friends being
marched off in safe keeping.
The story was briefly as follows:
De Brnne had gone to the continent,
but his pursuers had tracked him, and
with fiendish ingenuity had hunted
him back to England to his awn
"' ouse, so that he would be handy for
Wiling the required documents. The
" use was empty.save for a caretaker,
'nrii they had speedly got rid of.anff
IJrenne s own deaf-and-dum aerv--vhom
they retained "ier ensur
v.oelves" ajai'""' llie possibility
ring with the out-
1
They had then calmly kept Da
Brenne a close prisoner in his own 1
house, and started to torture him
systematically until such time as he
would sign a will in his cousin's favor
(dated some year's previously). Had
they accomplished this, they would
have again carried him abroad and en
sured a fatal alpine accident by the
simple process of dropping - him over
the edge of a convenient precipice, and
leaving him to be discovered.
Luckily for De Brenne, however,
he had been able to get a note con
veyed .by his servant to Stomp unob
served, and so was enabled, as the
latter remarked, "to finish up on.der
topside." "
LIABILITY . FOR SA HORROR.
Captain of the William Brown Convicted
of Forcing Passengers Overboard.
Since the terrible fate that befell the
passengers on board the French steam
er La Bourgogne much speculation
has arisen as . to the liability of the
French crew under the charges
brought against them in connection
with the sinking of the ship. It is
'well settled that the law in England
and. the United States is adverse to
the crew.
The leading American case is that
of the people against Holmes, which
was tried in Philadelphia by the bril
liant lawyer, David Paul Brown, as
prosecuting attorney. The story is
an interesting one. The ship tVilliam
Brown sank off Nova Scotia in March,
1811. The passengers and crew over
loaded the boats. After drifting for
several days a storm came up, making
it evident that the overloaded boat
which Holmes commanded would be
swamped and all lost. Under these
circumstances he gave the order to
lighten the boat. Twelve passengers
were thrown overboard, and two sis
ters voluntarily jumped into the sea.
The remainder of the passengers in
the boat and the crew were saved and
brought to Philadelphia. Holmes
was indicted and tried. In his de
fence the above circumstances were
shown and additional evidence ad
mitted that Holmes was one of the
most active in saving the passengers
and getting them in the boat; . that at
the risk of his life he had personally
saved several. Nevertheless Holmes
was convicted, and the United States
court sustained the conviction on the
ground that the contract of the sailor
bound him to use every means iu his
power, even to the sacrifice of his own
life, to deliv r each passenger at the
port for which he shipped.
The point of jurisdiction was raised,
when it was held that the flag con
verted the ship and her apparel, in
cluding the boats, into national terri
tory. As to acts done in the waters
of the high seas, it was further held
that the contract controlled as to the
sailors. The court also held that as
to the same acts done between pas
sengers on the high seas a different
rule prevailed; in the absence of inter
national law as to them they owed no
duty to one another; they were, from
the moment of leaving the ship, re
mitted to their natural rights, and the
law of self-preservation prevailed.
. Much sympathy throughout the
country was manifested for Holmes in
this case from its purely doctriual law,
and, its being a case of first impres
sion, his sentence "was commuted to
imprisonment. After 18 months he
was released, but the principle that
the sailor owed a duty to passengers,
even to the sacrifice of his own life,
was established.
. An Invisible Monkey.
There are many animals, especially
birds and insects, which mimic in
their colors and shapes the natural
objects amid which they dwell, and
thus frequently escape the eyes of
their enemies, but, as Dr. Lydekker
says in Knowledge, "Until quite re
cently no case was known where a
monkey, for the sake of protection,
resembled in form or coloration either
some other animal, or an inanimate
object." Such monkeys were discov
ered by Dr. J. W. Gregory during his
recent journey in East Africa. Near
relatives of the monkeys seen by him
have long been known to naturalists
and have excited surprise by' the bril
liant contrast of the black fur cover
ing their body and limbs with the
snow-white mantle of long, silky hah
hanging from their shoulders and the
equally white plumes on their tails.
The contrast, Dr. Gregory found,
serves to render the animals practi
cally invisible.for the trees which they
inhabit have black stems and are
draped with pendant masses of gray
white lichen, amid which the monkeys
can hardly be distinguished.
Why Slgsbee Turned Scuttler.
On one occasion Captain Sigsbee
deliberately sank his, ship to save het
from a still worse; fate. He was in
command of the ccasf survey steamet
Blake and was anfihored in a West In
dian port when a' hurricane came up,
and in the h?eavy sea the ship's an
chors begr4to drug. She was drifting
to utter ail ieTtab!e destruction on f
reef. Wlf he lay there was a soft,
sandy lip'
hen.-.srf
lie captain ordered
md down she went.
Imped out and raisec
- "
pration, but for lesf
tg a new ship.
Munsef
SearlS
drought!
said to
: other.
static
PAYING OFF THE TROOPS
THE COMPLICATED TASK WHICH PAY
MASTERS HAVE TO PERFORM.
One of the Pleasantest Features of Army
Life Is His Arrival With a Gripsack
Full of Money How the Soldiers Get
Their Fay The Volunteer Paymaster.
One of the pleasantest features of
army life is the coming of the paymas
ter with his gripsack full of money.
Since the ' declaration of war with
Spain the war department has added
seventy paymasters and twice as many
clerks, under the Emergency act pro
viding for an increase. The work re
quired is almost wholly that of ex
pert accountants. Especially is this
true of the department of the east, in
New York city, where, in addition to
keeping the accounts of the.volunteers
in this vicinity, the paymasters are
obliged to take care of the accounts of
regulars and retired officers and sol
diers. There is no mercy shorr to a
green paymaster. Whether he under
stands the work or not, he has to do
the same amount as is given to a pay
master who has1, been in the, service
twenty years. In fact, there is a
growing suspicion that the volunteer
paymaster gets- the worst of it all
round. .
The retired list which new paymas
ters are required to wrestle with in
the paymaster's office in this city
comprises the accounts of 400 officers
and men who have been retired from
the service, but who are drawing
three-quarters pay. These payments
are made once each month under an
intricate system of bookkeeping. It
is so complicated that no business
man of today would think of applying
it to his own business.
The retired officers and men are
paid on the first day of each month.
Those residing in New York receive
their pay in currency at ''-he paymas
ter's office, while those residing out
side the city are paid by check. The
New York pay department is under
the control of Lieut. -Col. Wilson, who
ranks next to Paymaster-General
Stanton. Under him at the present
time are two regular army paymasters
and three emergency or volunteer
paymasters, all ranking as majors. ,
As in the army proper, there is noth
ing done in the pay department with
out orders, and the soldier who be
comes impatient at not receiving his
pay at the anticipated time should not
blame the paymaster. It may be that'
he has not received his orders.
The First New York Volunteers
were paid off recently by Major Fow
ler at Fort Hamilton, and the method
of procedure will serve to illustrate
all payments in the field. On the
rolls furnished by the company com
manders an estimate due each man,
less fines, was made by the paymaster,
and the latter, with his clerk, went to
the camp with sufficient currency to
pay off. At Fort Hamilton the place
selected for paying the troops was the
hall of the local lodge of Good Tem
plars. Each company was lined up,
one at a time, in front of the paymas
ter's desk, and as his name was called
out each man stepped forward and re
ceived his money.
First comes the captain, who re
ceives $150; then the first lieutenant,
who takes S125. The second lieuten
ant walks off with $116.67, and then
follow the non-commissioned officers,
beginning with the first sergeant,
whose compensation is $30 a month.
After, the non-commissioned officers
come the privates, who receive $15. 60
a month instead of $13 a month, as
formerly. In fact, in all the salaries
of non-commissioned officers and pri
vates there has been a uniform in
crease of 20 per cent. t
Wrhen an entire regiment is paid off
it is done from what is known as the
roll of the field, staff and band, ccra
fcaining the names of the brigade or
regimental field officers. Those offi
cers are paid by the paymaster in the
same manner that other payments a're
made, but the amounts are much
larger, the brigadier-general receiving
15458. 83 a month ; colonel, $291.67;
lieutenant-colonel, $250, and major,
1208.83. - Regimental quartermaster
and regimental adjutants receive
$150, while the regimental chaplain's
pay is $125 a month.
Commissioned officers may draw
their salaries from any paymaster, and
it is not infrequent that accounts are
iuplicated. In such cases there is
trouble in store for the officer. Pay
masters, although they handle large
sums of money, are only under $10,
000 bonds. - They are responsible for
the accuracy of their accounts, and
the overpayment of money to soldiers
is a loss to the paymaster. The pos
sibility of error is a constant worry to
the volunteer paymasters, who are
unfamiliar with the work, and who are
largely dependent upon their clerks.
For this responsibility their com
pensation is $208 a month. Were it
not for the gold shoulder 6traps and
the rank of major which goes with the
office, there are few paymasters in the
volunteer service who would accept
the place. There are among the vol
unteer paymasters some whose in
comes from their private business ex
ceeded that of their salary, but whose
age disqualified them for army service,
ho have joined the pay department
that they mkht acquire a military
Me. " Such V)f these vavmasteia as
have been assigned to the department
of the east are fast realizing that they
are paying dear for their titles. 5few
York Sun.
,' CURIOS OF THE PHILIPPINES.
Ancient -War Weapons and Idols That
" Are- Attracting Much Attention.
In the University of Pennsylvania
are curios which are tlosely allied
with the earlier periods of the Philip
pine Islands. They consistof a num
ber of specimens of primitive weapons
and are the only examples of the kind
in the country. The collection, meagre
as it is, has already attracted consid
erable attention, and the many visitors
attest to the deep interest the people
feel in all that pertains to the new
territory.
The curios are five in number and
were obtained at the Eastrow (rag
fair) at Madrid, Spain, and deposited
in the university museum.
' From the saw of the swordfish sin
gle and two-edged swords are con
structed. In the case of the former
the teeth were carefttlly sharpened on
one side and the larger end cut down
for a handle. It presents a formidable
appealing implement of carnage.
With the other the two edged sides
were preserved. In the hands of a
muscular native these crude swords
would make most frightful wounds.
A third weapon of later date is a
short cutlass-shaped affair of -iron.
The Philippine Islanders became ex
pert as iron workers, and the ancient
weapon shows how well the natives of
old patterned their death-dealing ap
pliances. The handle of this iron
sword is ornamented with tufts of
hair and fanciful raised designs, in
token, perhaps, of the valuable qual
ities as a hair-raising tool.
A fourth weapon resembles an ex
aggerated meat cleaver of uninviting
appearance, with a sharpened edge on
one side and a longpoint on the other,
in solid iron, with a long handle. -;
A Malay creese is the fifth weapon
in the collection. These weapons were
made by the Visayas, a Malay tribe
who inhabit the islands to the south
of Luzon. The creeses are short
swords of the dagger species, with
exquisitely carved handles and grace
ful blades. .
In the Colonial museum at Madrid
many other odd relics are preserved,
including idols of the natives. The
principal idol was of the male persua
sion, the female being a lesser deity.
Cast iron cannon and small swivel
guns of the early natives, with their
military uniforms, are also displayed
there. Milwaukee Sentinel.
Safety for Miners.
A recently invented device for
miners will no doubt result in lessen
ing the loss of life. It is designed to
render the miners immune from the
deadly effects of carbonic oxide in the
after damp which follows gas ex
plosions in mines. It is a helmet
which will enable the- wearer to live
for at least" half an hour after such an
explosion takes place. It is worn over
the head and face, and is constructed
of a special asbestos tanned leather,
or cloth, rendering it proof against
fire, heat, steam, boiling water. and all
poisonous fluids. It comes down close
over the shoulders, and is held firmly
in place by means of two straps pass
ing under the arms. At the back of
the helmet is a metal reservoir, from
which the wearer is supplied with
fresh air at the, natural air pressure
and twenty degrees cooler than the
outside atmosphere. The tank has a
capacity of 100 pounds, pressure of
compressed air, and is always ready
for service, the same pressure of pure
air being retained for months. . The
amount of air in store can be seen on
the gauge attached to the reservoir,
which can be quickly changed by an
air pump. A lever on the top of the
reservoir forces the air through the
supply tubes to a point inside and di
recty in front of the mouth and nos
trils. , The supply can be adjusted to
the comfort of the weareiv The neck
gear has an outlet for the foul air, and
the two lookouts are constructed of
double plates of clear mica, with re
volving cleaners and protected by four
cross wires. The side or ear plates
have special diaphragms, or sounding
discs, which give perfectly distinct
hearing. Philadelphia Record.
" ' Early Kail way Travel.
A New England traveler, writing of
early railroad travel, says:
"There was no soft, effeminate cush
ions in those grand old days; no cun
ningly contrived easements to back,
body aud legs, were imposed upon the
passenger, to rob him of his manliness
and his energy and his powers of re
sistance. Everything was conducted
upon heroic principles;! everything
was so ordered that death, at any time
likely and at all times probable, was
robbed of half its terrors and often
times looked upon with complacency,
if not with longing." Pall Mall Maga
zine.
rn Battle Facts.
"What is
ttle like?" she asked.
well," n
rned' the veteran
thoughtfully,
them, haven't
"Of course,
"Tlion fill.-
u've seen pictures of
u?" ;
be answprd.
have to do." he
tjon
"elm
plained, "i(
that ia cut' r
PosL
. iiLincie someth
'i'rvut." Chicffo
THE WILLOW BOWER.
I know a be
orer.ma
lade of willow trees,
Low leanin? from the erasflv waterside.
The long leaves drooping in the ripplln
Btream,
Like lady's fingers trailed in cooling tide.
Within the bower is never seen the sun, 1
Though fiercest rays assail Its leafy
screen,
And, 6ave for lowing of the distant herd
And lapping waves, the silence is serene.
Herein I sit within my little boat,
Soft-cushioned as in dreams of weary
men;
and little reck I that the world without
Is full of care and strife of sword and
pen. i "
With eyelld3 closed and pillowed cheek oa
hand, , '
I dream the happy, idle hours away,
Till twilight comes and goes, and night has
come,
And then I leave my bower, fain to stay.
May Belle Wlllls,ln Boston Transcript. ,
HUMOROUS.
"Do you regard late rising as in
jurious?" "It certainly shortens one's
days."
Judge Don't let me see you here
again. Prisoner Where shall I see
you, Judge?
"Mine, miner, minus!' This is
the general upshojt of speculation in
mining stock.
Bob Saw Tom and his wife out
wheelinsr veHterdav. WillTnndAm?
o j 1 -
Bob No; perambulator.
Aunt Harry, do you love your
baby brother? Harry What's the
use? He wouldn't know it if I did.
A great "many girls say "No," at
first; but, like the photographers, they
know how to retouch their negatives.
"What's the matter, old man? You
look hot and excited." "Ju3t been
crying to dodge a cross-eyed girl on a
bicycle."
He Poorman says he is convinced
now that the world does go round.
She Well, he doesn't look as if he'd
got very much of it yet.
Mamma Oh dear! Jimmy, I don't
believe you know what it is to be
good. Jimmy Yes, I do, mamma.
It's not doing what you want to do.
Little Pitcher I don't think my
papa loves me as much as he loves my
mamma. Mamma says papa tells hei
!airy stories. He never tells any to
oi e. ; ' .
Clerk How did you discover that
me man in do wa3 olann, the great
detective? Bell Boy He had to rin '
for some one to find the towel ioi
him. ''" ',
Husband (angrily, after a somewhat
heated argument with his better half
Do you take me for a fool? Wifq
(soothingly) No, John! But I may
be mistaken.
"Pa, can I go to the circus?" "No,
my son; if you're a good boy, yoij
won't want to go to the circus.'
"Then, I'd better go while I'm bad
enough to enjoy it, hadn't I?"
"I say," asked Jinks, as he walked
into Blinks' store, sample case in -hand,
"can a cowhide in a shod
store?" Blinks wasn't at all slow
"No," he says, "but calfskin."
The Cabman Gimme your bag,
lady, and I'll put it on top of the cab.
Mrs. Oatcake (as she gets in) :No
that poor horse of yours has enough1
to pull. I'll carry it on my lap.
,"If you had an apple, Johnuie, and
your little brother asked you for o
piece, you'd greet his request with a
cheerful smile, wouldn't you?" "Yes,
ma'am, I'd give him the merry ha,
ha!"
"Lady," began Mr. Dismal Dawt
son, "you see before you amanwhosq
name is mud m, u, d." "There must
be some mistake in your calculations,''
replied the lady. "It takes water ta
make mud."
Mrs. McCall It's too bad of you,
Ethel, to worry your mamma so.
Ethel '(aged 5, tearfully) Oh, well,
Mrs. McCall, if you'd lived with mam
tea as long as I have you'd know which
of us was to blame.
He I had a queer dream about you
last night, Miss Louisa. I was about
to give you a kiss when suddenly we
were separated by a river that gradu
ally grew as big as the Rhine. She
And was there no bridge or nb boat.
' "If it wasn't for your father," sai J
the wrathful citizen, "you would have
starved to death long, ago. You
haven't sense enough to pound sand.'"
"Haw," answered the - chappie, "J
had sense enough to be born into a
wealthy family, and that is more thai)
you had."
Lung Gymnastics.
One of the most important items in
health culture is to keep the lungs
and heart in good condition. It is
possible to breathe sufficient air to so ,
oxygenate the blood that it will con
sume the waste and poisonous matters
of the system as fire barns up cha0
or tinder. People who feel dull, heavy,
stupid, unwilling to exert themselves,
indeed often unable to do so, will find
that a regular course of breathing ex
ercises will be more benefit to them '
than all the medicine in creation. Ther
are many times when the use of medi
cines merely aggravates the existii!;i
ill. xi is simpif a runner aeeuinuia-
of undesirable material that must
carried about uutil "nature U
I tan'ast it out o- L
iati Wti "