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VOL. X.
PLYMOUTH, N: C, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1898.
NO. 10.
fi f u
A!
AT THE
Oh, wkat care I for wealth or fame !
They vanish as a dream,
When night is drawn through gates of Sawn
On Slumber's ebbing stream!
Let others sing of Death and War,
Or Sorrow's tragio lore;
But Love has come and calls me home
To meet him at the door!
Oh, what care I to weave my Fate
On Life's mysterious loom,
Its warp and woof from peace aloof
The glittter and the gloom!
Let others sing of Death and War,
Or Sorrow's tragio lore;
But Love has oome.and calls me home
T6 meet him at the door!
THE CONVENIENT TIGER. I
Adrentare of a Maa Who Fonad Himself In an Eait Indlaa Jnngle with a Hag of Rupees w
j and a Dishonest Servant. Jj
BY J. C. POWTOK, I. C. 8.
f-ygnm yt y spry jjyijajainprjnajtjyt jsjrijpi.ifnyygr
"I don't know that 1 have ever met
a full-blosomed yogi in all my years in
India. One has to come to America
to find out the wonders and mysteries
of. theosophy. But I have seen per
k.forinances of Indian fakirs quite as in-'-f'-
explicable as anything I have heard
H of the Mahatmas. There was one in
,, particular in which I was concerned
a matter of some 20 years ago. It had.
tragedy in it and some things which
neither you nor I can explain. You
understand, no doubt, what an Indian
fakir is a man of the Brahminical
fiaith who devotes his life to commun
ion with the Hindoo gods. Through
player and' contemplation and the
leading of an ascetic life the fakirs at
tain powers that Beem miraculous to
the Western mind.
"The fakir that I am to tell you
about came one afternoon to Archie
Eedvon's bungalow, near Charpore,
where I had been staying for a few
days during a round of inspection. He
was an old, brown-skinned man, with
$5 a long, intellectual face and hair and
I beard snowy white. A waist cloth,
f turban and sandals were all he wore.
and the rest'of his visible belongings
consisted of a prayer mat, a hubble
bubble, or native water pipe, and an
earthen bowl from which he ate his
food. He spread his mat in the mid
dle of. the compound, seated himself
cross-leged upon it and began to take
tinsel balls from somewhere from the
mat, it seemed, although none could
be seen upon it and to throw them
one by one up into the air. Each one,
as he threw it, went sailing up, up,
until it was out of sight, and none of
them came down. Then he did the
boy and ladder and the mango tree
V' trick in a mauner that showed that ha
- was a fakir of no common order.
"Then he took a hollow reed, fash
ioned it into a sort of pipe and went
round in the compound and on the
outside of the bungalow, playing a
weird tune. Presently a cobra poked
; its head out from a hole in the wall, its
body followed, and the serpent came
to the'ground and glided along after
the fakir. Soon another cobra crawled
out of the grass and followed the
sound'of the pipe. When the fakir
stayed his steps the snakes stopped,
and as he played on the reed they
reared their hooded heads from the
ground, and their bodies swayed to
and fro as if they were keeping time
with his piping. He called for a bas
ket. A house servant brought him
one, and the fakir, with his bare
Tiands, took the snakes each by the
neck and body, placed them in the
basket, pressed their heads down and
tied a cloth above them.
"This ended his performance. Red
von gave him a rupee, and I handed
him five, for I had never seen any
thing to compare with what he had
done. He gravely took the coins, after
the manner of the Brahmins, without
a thank or salaam. But as he dropped
them somewhere in his waist cloth his
eye fell on my servant Nagho, standing
at my shoulder, and he looked at him
with a strange intentness, then turned
to me with a gaze as searching. Have
you ever chanced to notice a Hindoo's
eye so sombre black, so keen to see
and comprehend and revealing no
more than a pool of ink might the
thought behind it. But I noted in
the fakir's eye what seemed to me to
be a flash of perception, of discovery,
as his look rested on Nagho and then
on me. It was the episode of a mo
ment He said nothing, but picked
up his mat and pipe, put the basket
and snakes on his shoulder and went
his way, taking the direction of Char
, pore, three miles away.
"On the next day I had to go to
Baghra to meet the deputy collector
there. To save distance I decided to
travel in a palanquin over a bullock
trail too rough for a carriage, instead
of going twice as far round by the
kMghway. I made my start in the
Jniddle of the afternoon, expecting to
fTr& n Baghra in the early evening.
X :Y ray traveling satchel were notes
and coin to the value of 12,000 rupees,
which I was taking to the deputy col
lector. At the last hour Redvon
showed some anxiety about ray taking
the route I had chosen.
" 'Once your start is made, don't
waste any time in getting through to
Baghra,' he said. 'Beyond Charpore
the road is through jungle all the way.
There's a chance of dacoits and then
Y if your palanquin bearers should run
H npoa them or get a tiger scare, they
DOOR.
Oh, what care I for clashing creeds,
Or hostile schools of art,
If I may wear through smile and tear
The ermine of the heart!
Let others sing of Death and War,
Or Sorrow's tragic lore;
But Love has oome and calls me home
To meet him at the door!
Oh, what care I for houseless winds,
With rain and darkness blent.
If through the blight on me may light
The shy dove of content!
Let others sing of Death and War,
Or Sorrow's tragio lore;
But Love bus come and calls me home .
To meet him at the door!
Harper's Bazar.
would think nothing of setting down
the palanquin and leaving you in the
jungle. Of course, you have your re
volver by you in working order?'
"I had cleaned and oiled and re
loaded my revolver that morning and
told Redvon so. But he had still
another caution to give me. He looked
at Nagho, who was tilling a water ves
sel from a chatty at the further end of
the veranda.
" 'That servant of yours have you
had him long?' he asked. 'My stew
ard tells me that he is a hill man by
birth, that he talks the argot of the
Indian thieves' guilds, and he carries
a tulwar. Do you know that you can
trust him?'
"This was news to me about Nagho.
I had hired him two months before in
Calcutta. He had come well recom
mended and had proved a capable ser
vant. I did not like the idea that he
should have carried a tulwar unknown
to me. The tulwar, let me explain, is
the wide-bladed knife which the men
of the hill tribes use so effectively in
lighting, wielding it at close quarters
or throwing it. With his tulwar, a hill
man can cut off the branch of a tree
20 paces away or lop a man's arm trom
his body. I made up my mind that I
would find out more about Nagho be
fore I took . him with me on another
trip, but today there was nothing I
could well do in the matter.
" 'I think the Hindoo is all right,'
I said to Redvon. 'I'll have my eye
on him, though. Good bye. Hope
I'll see you at Baghra next week. '
"We shook hands, and the four
bearers of the palanquin trotted away
with me at a four-mile-an-hour gait,
with Nagho and two relay bearers fol
lowing. At Charpore, where we
stopped a few minutes to rest,, the
bearers got hold of a report about a
tiger, which was said to have killed a
man or two lately on the road to
Baghra, and when they, started on it
was with little of the willingness that
they had shown in the beginning.
We had got about four tniles beyond
Charpore when we met a crowd of
grass cutters coming on the run for
the village, and they shouted 'Tiger 1
Tiger!' as they came near us. I man
aged to find out from them that no
one had been hurt, but that one of
them thought that he had seen a tiger.
That was enough for my six palanquin
bearers. They set the palanquin
down and joined the grass cutters in
their run for the village, leaving me
with Nagho in the jungle.
"I reckoned that it was about ten
miles further to Baghra and decided
that I would walk there rather than
turn back. I spread my umbrella to
protect me from the sun and started
along the path, with Nagho following,
carrying the satchel. It was a rough
road, miry in places. I had to stop
often to rest, so as not to be overcome
by heat, and darkness fell before we
had made a third of the remaining dis
tance to Baghra'. But I plodded on in
the darkness, feeling rather than see
ing my way, and hoping that nearer
Baghra the road would improve. I
was beginning pretty thoroughly to
distrust Nagho. There had come an
unpleasant change of expression in
his face since the palanquin men had
left us, and I did not like the furtive
look in his eyes which I had caught
several times in turning suddenly
toward him. Now that darkness had
fallen I carried my revolver in my
hand, quite . as much on his account
as on the chance of falling in with a
tiger or leopard.
"I had ordered him to walk ahead,
which command he obeyed sulkily.
He was walking about 30 feet in ad
vance of me when he turned suddenly
round justas my foot tripped against
a tree root, sending me sprawling to
the ground. As I fell somethiug
whizzed above my head, and I heard
leaves and twigs falling far back of
me down the road. It was Nagho's
tulwar, and but for my lucky tumble
it would have split my skull as neatly
as you please. The Hindoo ran as
soon as he saw that his knife had
missed, taking the satchel with him.
I sent three shots after him from the
ground, then got up and started on at
an easy pace, for there was no hope
of my overtaking the Hindoo, for,
leaving the darkness out of the ques
tion, he could have outstripped ma on
such a road two to one. My only
hope of recovering the satchel and
money and bringing him to punish
ment was in getting to Baghra and
setting the native police on his trail.
"It soon became clear to me that I
should not get to Baghra that night.
The air was horribly hot and humid,
and the road got worse as I went on.
I could feel the jungle fever clutching
at me in the miasma that rose from
the moist ground, but it was better
to chance that than risk falling from
heat and fatigue. I had rested myself
under a tree by the roadside and had
begun to nod with drowsiness, when
the roar of a tiger somewhere off in
the jungle gave a new turn to my
thoughts, and I got up and stumbled
on. Just as the tiger roared again
I saw a smouldering fire in the clear
ing off to the right. It was an even
chance whether it meant a camp of
woodcutters or a rendezvous of da
coits, but I turned off the road and
approached it. Only one man was
by the fire an old white-bearded man
seated cross-legged on a mat and I
saw that it was the fakir who had been
at Redvon's bungalow the day befere.
Here in the jungle he was sitting, ab
sorbed in contemplation, as calmly as
if such things as tigers or jungle fever
did not exist. Two cobras in a basket
by his side reared their heads and
hissed as I crme near, but the fakir
did not raise his eyes until I stood be
fore him. Then he looked at me with
out the slightest sign of surprise and
motioned that I should seat myself
opposite him.
" 'I expected yon,' he said, in Hin
dostanee. 'You will remain here until
the morrow. '
"He returned to his contemplation
and spoke not another word through
the night. The tiger's roar came
tnearer, and I clutched my revolver as
it changed into the low, eager,purring
cry that tells he has scented his prey
but the old man gave no sign that
he had so much as heard it. I
watched the misty darkness around
for an hour or more, but there was no
more roaring, and no tiger appeared,
and I laid my pistol across my lap and
prepared to pass the night as comfort
ably as I could. In searching my
pockets for cigars I found a package
of quinine. I took 50 grains of it be
fore morning and thus saved myself
from jungle fever. Hour after hour I
sat on the ground smoking cheroots,
with the old man sitting opposite me.
"Part of the time his eyes were
closed, but he did not nod or change
his position, and whether he slept or
not I could not tell. From time to
time he fed the fire from a little heap
of dry branches at his side, and two or
three times he lighted his hubble
bubble, but he did not once rise to
his feet or leave the mat. Toward
morning sleep overcame me, and I
woke to find myself on my back on
the ground with the beams of the ris
ing sun streaming into my face and
one of the cobras crawling across my
legs. I kept still, and the snake crept
away in the grass hunting his break
fast "The old fakir, who was smoking,
presently laid aside his pipe, collected
his snakes and other luggage together,
told me with a look that we were to
move, and we left the clearing and
turned into the road toward Baghra,
In the dust, and more plainly in the miry
places, we could see the tracks of Nagho.
Presently there were other footprints
above the man's and taking the same
course the tracks of a tiger which
had come into the road from the jun
gle. I had not said a word to the
fakir of what had occurred the night
before, but he pointed to the tiger's
tracks and said gravely, the first
words he had spoken that morning:
" 'These are bringing you to your
property.'
"We kf pt along the road until we
came to a place where the tracks
showed that the swinging trot of the
tiger had changed to a succession of
long bounds, which ended at a spot
where the dust had been stirred by
marks of a strnggle and caked with
drops of red. The bushes and long
grass crushed and bent to left and
right, showed where the tiger leaped
back into the jungle, and there was no
track of man or beast in the road be
yond. But in the tiger's path at a
few paces from the roadside, strung
along the bashes, was the unwound
turban of Nagho with a long smear of
rod upon its white.
" 'It was so appointed,' said the
fakir. 'He was weaving the plan of
his own death when he thought he was
compassing yours. Now, take your
own, restored to you, and we will go
on into Baghra.
"He pointed to my satchel, which
I had not seen, in the grass by the
roadside. It was unopened, and all
its contents were safe. We went on
to Baghra, where the fakir left me at
the outskirts of the town, takiug his
way, I suppose, to the house of some
person of his religions order. I gave
him a bag of rupees at parting, which
he accepted without thanks or com
ment to him it came by appointment
of the gods, aud I feel sure he would
ha3 received a sentence of immediate
execution with the same calm fatalism.
I saw him once more, when he was
called before the magistrate to give his
testimony as to the manner of Nagho's
death, but he gave me no sign of rec
ognition. To one like him, wrapped
in eomniuniou with diety.a mere man,
whatever his degree, was worthy of
nothing more than a passing notice.
"My story of the fakir is told, and
you may explain it if yon can to your
atisfaction. His tricks at the hnnsa-
low were incomprehensible to the
Western mind. Beyond these, -what
do you think of his reading of the hu
man soul, as when his glance at Nagho
rovealed my servant's thought of
murder and robbery against me? Of
his knowledge of the events occurring
V.J his case beyond the perceptions of
the recognized senses of seeing and
hearing? Was it the reading of Nagho's
mind at the bungalow and of mine by
the fire in the jungle? Let that ex
plain it if you will. But what a gen
uine and lofty order of mind reading.
Compare it with the jugglery that
passes by that name among people of
the Western hemisphere." New York
Sun.
PASTIMES AT SEA.
Curloni Way in Which Old Salt Enjoyed
Themselves.
There are many curious instances of
the way in which the "salts" of former
times enjoyed their pastimes at sea.
A custom called the "ambassador"
used to be practiced upon "ignorant
fellows or landsmen" in warm lati
tudes. The sport is thus managed:
A large tub was rilled with water and
two stools placed on each side of it
Over the wholoa tarpaulin or old sail
was thrown. This was kept tight by
two persons who represented the king
and queen of a foreign country, aud
were seated on stools. The person
intended to be ducked was called the
"ambassador," and after repeating a
riduculous speech dictated to him,' he
was led in great state to the throne,
and there seated between the king
and queen, who, rising suddenly, the
ambassador'rell back into the water.
Another observance practiced near
the Hue was called "Autor, or King
Arthur." A sailor, who represented
the king, ridiculously dressed, and
having an immense wig made of oakum
or some old stuff, was seated at the
side of, or over, a large vessel of
water. Every sailor i'n his turn was
to be ceremoniously introduced to
him, and to pour a bucket of water
over him, crying, "Hail, King Ar
thur!" If during this ceremony any
seaman laughed or smiled (to which
he was provoked by the wry faces and
facetious gesticulations of the mon
arch), he had to change places and
assume the throne, until relieved by
some brother tar, who had as little
command over the facile ' muscles as
himself.
Another game on board ship waa
called "hoop." To turn the hoop was
an ancient marine custom. Four or
more boys having their left hands tied
to an iron hoop, and their - right to a
rope, called a "nettle," being naked
to the waist, waited the signal to be
gin. This was done by the application
of a stroke of the cat-o'-nine tails,
given by the boatswain to the back of
one of the boys, who struck the next
to him, and so on until all became en
gaged in what can hardly be called an
amusing game; for though at first the
blows were gently administered, each
boy irritated at the strokes of his
neighbor, at length laid on lustily and
the play became earnest. This cus
tom was practiced when a ship was
wind-bound.
These sports, the off-shoot of others
practiced in earlier times, such, for
instance, as the rude and boisterous
ceremonies on "crossing the line,"
have in their turn yielded to the more
refined and reasonable mode of whiling
the tedium of a long voyage bj
theatricals, recitations, concerts and
the like.
Chinese Economy.
No people in the world can exceed
the Chinese in the matter of economy.
They waste nothing. The old cast
off account book of the merchant is
cut into pieces and oiled to serve in
stead of glass, in windows or lanterns.
A coolie who has a six hours' march
with a heavy burden will return tc
his point of departure without having
broken his fast in order to save the
two cents his breakfast would have
cost away from home. Nothing is
more curious than to see them eat,
although, with their famous chop
sticks, they do not perform all the
wonderful feats generally supposed.
Everything is served them in bowls
or saucers, and with the chopsticks
they raise the pieces of meat or fish
to the mouth with sufficient grace.
Each one has a bowl of rice, which he
holds near his Hps, and with the aid
of the chopsticks he pushes the con
tents into his mouth. It is curious
to see them pick up with their chop
sticks the grains of rice that fall on
the ground. The children are taught
this art L'om their earliest years.
Nothing must be lost, not even the
smallest grain.
Use of the Electrophone.
Bv the aid of the electrophone, whicl
is au improvement on the telephones
person seated m his own house lr
Loudon can hear what is going on it
any of fifteen theatres in the metrop
olis. and on Snndav he can listen tc
sermons by noted preachers. Sixteen
churches and sixteen theatres are al
ready oi the electrophone circuit
i
Fenoclous Humming Birds.
In the' Island of Minora, one ot
the Philippines, the humming bird
are pugnacious little creatures. Thou
sands of them frequently attack hunts
men without the slightest provoca
tion, inflicting sometimes serious
wounds on the face and neck.
SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS.
The common caterpillar has more
than two hundred muscles.
Some insects are in a state of ma
turity thirty minutes after birth.
At sea level an object one hundred
feet high is visible a little over thir
teen miles. If five hundred feet high,
it is visible nearly thirty miles.
One of the most interesting features
of modern industrial- chemistry is the
synthetic production of odorous sub
stances, closely related to the odors
of flowers, plants, and animal sub
stances. The longest wave hitherto observed
is said to have had a length of half a
mile, and to have spent itself in
twenty-three seconds. During storms
in the north Atlantic waves sometimes
extend to a length of 500 and 600 feet,
and last from ten to eleven seconds.
A peculiar nervous
mali mali, is sometimes
in old women, among
disease, called
noticed, chiefly
natives of the
Philippine Islands. Th
e victim, whose
symptoms may appear
only on being
excited,has an uncontro
liable desire to
imitate the movements
before him.
of some persoD
MAUSERS VS. KRAG-JORCENSENS.
Some Comparisons Kecently Made by
Experts at the Springfield Arsenal.
Whilo no decision has yet been
made as to what shall be done with
the Spanish ilauser rifles which ar
rived in the United States arsenal re
cently, it is expected that, after hav
ing been cleaned and repaired, these
weapons will be sold to the public as
curiosities.
Officials at the arsenal1 state that
these Spanish guns, besides being in
every way inferior to the Krag-Jor-gensen
rifles used by our regular
army, show rough and ignorant us
age at the hands of the Spanish sol
diers. The main difference between the
Krag and the Mauser is that, while
both are bolt guns, the former has a
magazine which, filled with five car
tridges, can be cut off so as to make
the rifle practically a single shooter ;
the latter's magazine cannot be so cut
off. It is, therefore, really a repeat
ing rifle. Furthermore, in the Krag
the bolt is opened and closed by the
iction of cams an application of
power similar to that used on chain
less bicycles while with the Mauser
the man has to compress the main
3priug by direct force.
It is probable that these Mausers
yill be sold for not less than $15
apiece, so that for every one sold the
government will be a little more than
reimbursed for the manufacture of
Dne Krag-Jorgensen, which, as made
at the arsenal, cost $14.50.
Several Krag3 have arrived at the
irsenal for repairs after having been
used by rough riders. They show
that they can stand very hard usage
without impairing their efficiency,
proving thereby the excellence of
their pattern, manufacture and ma
terial. There are two which, after
having been carried through the surf,
filled with sand aud wet with water,
and having gone through all the fight
ing, were quite ready for use just as
they were when they arrived without
my cleaning or oiling. The butt of one
Df these carbine pattern was split
and jerforated by a Mauser bullet,
which most likely bored a hole also
through the arm of whatever Rough
Rider held the gun at the time.
One reason of the inferiority of the
Mausers is that they are made by con
tract by a firm in Berlin, Germany,
while our guns are made at the
Springfield arsenal under the direct
supervision of ordnance officers. Our
guns are therefore exactly alike, one
to the other, while the material and
workmanship of the Spanish rifles
mow many degrees of
Springfield Union.
quality.
Swallowed n Hole.
The other day Jimmy, four years
old, found one of those bone-rimmed
sircles which, I believe, ladies call eye
lets, and, while playing in the garden,
swallowed it. The family were inthe
nouse busily engaged with a work on
sntomology, when Jimmy ran in,
with mouth wide open, and eyes dis
tended to their utmost capacity. His
mother caught him by the arm, and
trembling with that deep anxiety which
only a mother can feel, inquired:
"What is the matter? What has
aappened ?"
"Water!" gasped little Jimmy,
nearly scared to death.
It was brought him, when, after
Iriuking copiously, he exclaimed
"Oh, mother, I swallowed a hole !"
"Swallowed a hole, Jimmy ?"
Yes, mother, swallowed a hole, with
piece of ivory around it !"
liuried by His Name.
It i3 said that the full name of the
Sultan of Ternati, who received the
Order of the Lion of Nasrah at Queen
Wilhehaina's coronation is Tadjui
Mahsnl Bindjatillahillhanan Siradjui
Mulki Amiraddin Iskander Mnnauur
russadik Wahn waminaladiliri Sjah
Patra AJanhar Rnsidhiuktank Sudib-
.
Electro magnets capable of picking
jp a load not exceeding five tons are
used by one of the great steel compa
nies to transfer steel beams or plates
kozi ont part of a shop to another.
FOLK SONG.
This la the lore the old wife knows
Who sees the storm draw nigh,
And wind and cloud together close
The windows of the sky:
"The north wind is man's wind.
Entangled with his fate;
In tbat he joyed, in that he sinned, 1
It chants his love and hate. 9
"The west wind is the angels' wind,
He sweeps their lyre strings;
And where the gray storm elonds ar
thinned,
"We see their rushing wings.
'The east wind is the devil's wind,
And etings with Are and ice;
But the south wind is God's wind.
And blows from paradise.
"And whence they go none mortal knows
Who hears them riding by;
We can but watch them as they close
The windows of the sky."
HUMOROUS.
My friend, don't put your oar into
& general conversation of sensible
folk, unless you have a good skull.
Spain's map is not mounted on the.
right kind of cloth. It shrinks dur
ing the reign of every one of its
rulers.
"My grandparents married in
haste." "And did thov repent at lei
sure?" "Oh, yes, both lived to be
over ninety." .
"What can equal the warmth of a
true woman's love?" asked the Dear
est Girl. "Mer temper," replied the
savage bachelor. "
Harry How very dull it was at the
Cutlers' party last night. Vera Yes,
in the early part ot the evening; but
it was brighter after you left.
"Would you please help me?" said
the poor beggar to the pedestrian; "I
have a wife and five children at home,
and an installment to pay on my bicy
cle tomorrow."
Stranger That man is evidently
crazy. Why is he not put in an asy
lum? Native His property is so
heavily mortgaged that none of hia
relatives want it. . '
Yeast Jesse tells me that he . ia
practicing in the courts; I didn't know
that he had been admitted to the bar?
Crimsonbeak He hasn't. It's the
tennis courts he means. .
Bumps (sadly) You are not what
you used to be, Viola. . Mrs. Bumps,
(sharply) Of course I'm not. I used
to be your best girl, but, now I'm your
wife, and it makes all the difference. '
Mother How did papa's new book
get in this condition? Bobby Why,
mamma, I heard papa say last night
that the book was too dry for him, so
I put it in the bath and let the water
run. .
A Michigan farmer abused his mother-in-law,
and then asked her to lower
him down the well to recover the lost
dipper. The coroner decided that the
rope broke, though others thought it .
had been cut. '
He It seems to be generally ac
knowledged as a fact that nearly all
women admire a soldier. She I don't
know as to the married ladies, but
none of the single ones would object
to a good offer-sir.
Elsie was trying to eat a dessert ot,
gelatine, and had some difficulty in
conveying the quivering spoonful tc
her mouth. "3Jamma," she said at
length, "I don't b'lieva I like such
nervous desserts. " 1
"Yes," remarked the Widow Tacum,
"before we were married I. used ta
admire John because I thought he
was so noble. I continued to admire
him afterwards; but it was because he
was such a splendid humbug!" -
She Do you know, that kitten
there reminds me of you? He I'd
like to know where the connection is?
She It seems to have just about as
much success in catching its tail as
you do in finding your moustache.
"Madam, you've already overdrawn
youraccouut." "What's that?" "Yon
haven't any more money in the bank."
"The idea. A fine bank, I think, to
be out of money because of the little
I've drawn! Well, I'll go somewhere"
else."
Freshman (to dentist) I wouldn't
pay nothing extra for gas. Just yank
her out, if it does hurt. Dentist
You are plucky, sir. Let me see the
tooth. Freshman Oh, 'taia't me'
that's got the toothache; it's my wife.
She'll be here in a minute.
She had been arrested for .shoplift
ing. "Do you wish to make, any state
ment before sentence is passed on
you?" asked the judge. "I hare
nothing to say," was the response.
Those few words were her undoing.
Everyone knew then that the prisoner
was a man masquerading as a woman.
Meeks My wife is nothing if not
original. Now, what do you suppose
she said when I asked her to marry
me? Weeks Oh, something about
its being so sudden,! suppose. Meeks
No, indeed! She said, "Well, I
think it's about time; I've been ex--pecting
you to make a break for three
months."
Gillings You said that kerosene
was perfectly safe, and that it could
be used without the least danger. I
took your word, and what is the re
sult? The stuff has exploded and
made a ruin of our kitchen." Dealer
I said the oil was not dangerous. I .
did not say anything at all about ihm
servant girl.