THE-
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ADVERTISING MEDIUM)
' Official Organ of Washington County,
FIRST OF ALL THE NEWS.
Circulates extensively fa the Counties el .
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l.oo a year ix Advance. " for god. for coustby, and for truth." sixgjb copy, 5 cents.
VOL. X. PLYMOUTH, N. G., FRIDAY, JUNR 16, 1899. NO. 39.
IF.
"If I were a man," the woman said, v
"I'd make my mark ere I was dead; ,
I'd lead he world with a battle-cry,
j And I'd be famous ere I should die
If I were a man."
"If I were a youth," the old man cried,
"I'd seize all Chnnces.I'd go with the tide;
I'd win my way. to the highest place,
And stick to honor, and seek His grace
If I were a youth."
THE EXPLOIT OF ANTOINE
4
Tty Frnnlclin
This is the true story of an exploit
of ,ntoine' and Pierre Le Beau, lads
who were born in the little French
Indian village of La Saussail. Their
father, Baptiste Le Bean, was a trader
ui peltries and their mother a half
blood Mandan woman.
Pierre was two years the older and
very Indian and lazy by nature. An
toine was more like the French, and
'clever, and therefore was sent away
to school in St. Louis, where he re
mained until his father was killed, an
accidental vctim, in a tight between
Red DogV .nd Three Feathers' bands
of Bois-Brules.
Autoine found that during the four
years 01 ms aosence tne mr traae naa
. , , .i i . i
been ruined. Settlers and stockmen
had come into the country across the
river from La Saussail. He found
Chavbonueait, his father's partner, in
possession of the store and his mother
and lierre with nothing left them
save a few ponies, the log house they
lived in and the Indian title to a tract
of land above the village.
' Although but 15 years old, Autoine,
thrifty and clever,saw his opportunity
in t.hn rmt.i-nl nf the land, which in
cluded some excellent grazing ground.
The stockmen across the river had
great droves of horses and cattle, and
they were already crowded for room
So Antoine took horses to herd. He
succeeded'in gathering 300 during the
first spring and received two dollars
per head for the season. He lost but
two out of this "bunch," and the ani
mals did so well that more than 500
were placed in his charge the follow
ing year.
So the Le Beaus were again highly
important among the people of mixed
complexion of La Saussail. Pierre
wore the gayest of blanket jackets,
lived merrily and sometimes amused
, himself by going fishing He loafed
much in Charbonneau's dingy store,
Which smelled of hides, dried fish and
Stale tobacco.
Now it happened one chilly morn
ing, when Antoino had come in to
warm his hands by Charbonneau's
fire, that a couple of young men from
the settlements were in the Btore seek
ing to buy rope and blankets.
- "This old rope no good," said
Pierre, as one of the newcomers
stopped to examine a coil upon the
floor. "My brudder Anloine, hees
buy some of dat rope las' summe)-,and
fle knots dey rot oft' hee? picket-pins."
At this Charbonnean flew into a
rage, called Pierre some hard names
In French and ordered him out of the
store. Then, as Pierre merely grinned,
Charbonneau rushed at him and flung
him violently upou the floor.
Antoine's French-Indian blood got
the upper hand of his school training
at this. He seized the irate trader by
the beard, thrust a pistol in his face
and said such enphatic things that
Charbonneau's legs shook like willows
in the wind, and his customers left in
alarm.
Charbouneau begged pardon, and
Antoine's wrath quickly subsided. The
lad was rather ashamed, in fact, for he
knew Pierre had been impertiuent in
talking to customers about Charbon
neau's goods.
The matter would have ended Amica
bly but for Charbonneau's Ogalalla
wife, who was of a temper quito as
choleric as her husband and far more
steadfast. She was greatly enraged
when she learned that Charbonnean
had been taken by the beard, whreh
she seemed to consider a most humil
iating thing. It made her despise
Charbonneau and thirstfor revenge on
Antoine.
When the first warm days came after
the going out of the ice Madame Char
bonneau gathered her small effects and
departed in a canoe with her children,
a well-grown boy and girl. This little
family paddled far down the Missouri
and thence up White Biver to the big
Ogalalla towns.
Whether the angry squaw-wife ap
pealed more signally to the spirit of
revenge or of cupidity among her
friends is not quite clear, but certain
it is that shortly after her appearance
among them a party of Ogalallas set
out across the great stretch of plain to
Ihe northward, descended upon An
joine's horse-corral3 one night in June
ind drove off all the herded stock.
Antoine had built his corrals a mile
ibove the village. As these hordes
,ere under "sacred medicine" and in
sharge of "one of the blood" there
ivas no danger that they would be
Stolen by Cheyennes, Oros Ventres or
Bther tribes of the upper reserve.
Another and final element of safety
Klj in the fact that most of the horses
"If I were rich," the poor man thought,
"I'd give my nil for the poor's support;
I'd open my door.and rd open my heart,
And goodness and I would never part
It I were rich."
Andlo! if all these ifs came true,
The womnn a man, the man a youth,
The poor man rich then In all truth.
This world would be, when we got through,
Just as it Is !
James Oppenheim, In New York Sun.
E
L. t
Welles Cnlltlns.
were of a large breed not much in use,
except for beef, among the Sioux. Thus
Antoine had felt doubly secure in leav
ing the animals at night unguarded
in the corrals. He could not wateu
all night and work all day, and Pierre
could not be depended on for guard
duty.
On the morning of his loss he rode
home from the broken corrals with
despair in his heart. His occupation
and his reputation were gone unless he
could recover the stock. The owners
of his herd and other whites across the
river would not hesitate to accuse him
of having a hand in such a wholesale
robbery unless he could prove his in
nocence absolutely, and they would
trust him with no more horses.
It was barely daylight, so early was
he out of a morning, when Antoine
aroused his mother and Pierre. The
woman immediately took a canoe and
paddled across the river to warn the
owners of the stolen horses. As for
Pierre, he suddenly awoke to the im
portance of doing something. His In
dian blood was aroused, and he readily
joined Antoine in an arduous chase
after the horse thieves.
Sunrise saw .the brothers well
mounted and galloping hard to west
ward. The broad trail of the herd
led straight away toward the Bad
Lands of the Little Missouri. The ani
mals had evidently been taken from
their corrals in the early night and
were being pushed hard, for when the
pursuers had mouuted the bluffs above
the Missouri they saw no cloud of
dust upon the miles and miles of near
ly level plain. At night they passed
down into the valley of Thunder Creek,
which marked the limit of the country
they knew. They camped on this
creek, nearly 70 miles from home.
They were up and off again at break
of day, and'night brought them to the
breaks of the Bad Lands warm, at
last, upon the trail of the stolen stock.
Hitherto they had passed three camps
where the Ogalallas more than 20, as
thf -others had made out by the
s; n ad halted to rest and g'aze the
st ck, .i id at one of them the skull
auu ..dshlv picked bones of a horse
were found.
Just before sunset the brothers rode
to the summit of a red buttj and
looked back over their trail. Were
the stockmen following the stolen
horses? Oa all the vast stretch of
sun-baked rdain there was no slightest
cloud or trail of dust to cheer the boys
with hope or aid from the settlements.
In another direction lay rough ridgas
of chalk cliffs and a narrow, gorge
like valley cast in forbidding, shadows.
At some point or turn in that tortuous,
fading canyon the stolen horses would
be guarded for the night. But dared
any two pursuers venture their lives
in that narrow pass?
Did the brothers turn back? Did
the lazy Pierre, dust-begrimed,choked
by thirst and half-famished from a
slender diet of dry, chopped beef, want
to go home? Not he. The Sioux's
persistence and the white man's bold
ness had seized upon the lads and
urged them on to a deed almost in
credibly daring aud yet planned with
great shrewdness.
From the appearance of the trail be
low they knew the stock thieves were
two hours' ride in advance and that
they would go into camp soon after
dark. So, with plans already formed,
the two rode down the red bluff into
the narrow valley.
Upon reaching the creek a swift,
shallow stream they turuel their
ponies loose, quenched their thirst and
immediately set out to search the
banks. They found a bog hole where
were tufts of old dry grass which had
escaped the fall fires. Of this they
gathered enough for their purpose.
With dry twigs and bark of willows
they twisted dry grass ropes some two
inches in diameter and half the length
of a lariat. To prevent these ropes
from untwisting they tied them here
and there with interlacing twine. -
The task finished, the brothers ate
some stringy chips of dried meat and
stretched themselves on the ground
for an hour or so of rest.
Thus refreshed, they remounted and
rode leisurely and cautiously along
the trail. Turn after turn of the nar
row valley was made. They moved in
a silence broken only by the light
footfalls of their ponies. Their ani
mals were kept at. the sbuffliug,nearly
noiseless trot characteristic of the In
dian-bred pony.
On either hand loomed the chalk
cliffs; fringes of cottonwoods and
willows marked the crooked channel
of the creek. The trail, a broad swath
AND
in the thin, tall grass of the bottom
lands, was easily followed.
The thieves were depending upon
their advantage in start, their celerity
of movement and the unlikelihood of
pursuit except from fort or settlement
This they hoped to elude finally among
the intricacies of the Bad Lauds.
Leaving the trail, the boys hugged
the little stream, keeping well within
the shadows of its bordering trees.
It was after midnight that the rustling
murmur they had listened for came to
their ears. Quite plainly now they
could near the trampling of a herd.
hungrily cropping the coarse, thin
grass. But no fires, no sign of In
dians or of horses could be seen in the
night.
The brothers dismounted and led
their ponies deeper within the shad
ows of a cluster of cottonwoods. They
stripped the animals of saddles and
bridles and turned them loose. Each
then wound his surcingle and grass
rope about his body and slid softly
down the ditcli-like bank of the creek
They left their saddles under the
trees and carried their rolled blankets
under their arms. They followed the
creek channel, hugging the bank, half
creeping on the shore or wading in
the water with great caution where
there was no foothold on land.
The creek channel led them by a
curve within the shadows of over
hanging cliffs, and they knew the In
dians were encamped in this bend.
Sounds of the herd grew more dis
tinct, and they were creeping with
greater eautiou whan a loud, familiar
whinny broke upon their ears, then
yells of Indians and a brief clatter of
hoofs.
What Antoino and Pierre had cal
culated upon had happened. Their
own ponies had come on and joined
the herd. Therehad been a momentary
alarm as the nuimals had passed In
dian guards aud camps. In the dark
ness there was little danger that the
incident would excite suspicion. The
savages 'would simply ccnclude that
ponies had strayed and returned or
been left behind in some shelter of
brush or trees.
In the meantime the lads had dis
covered the Sioux's camp and their
first outpost. Fortunately, horse
stealers do not allow dogs to follow
them, and Antoine and Pierre were in
no danger of discovery from these sen
tinel pests of an ordinary Indian camp.
Thanks to the shelter of the creek
bank and its fringe of willows, they
passed this camp in safety. The
horses were farther on. Presently the
brothers ascended the creek bank
upon the grass land and were in the
midst of the graziug herd. They
walked carelessly among the animals,
talking in low tones and in the Sioux
tongue, which they spoke with a per
fect accent. "
They were some time in finding rid
ing ponies among the herd. At last,-
by cautious aud friendly advance, each
secured a pony, bridled the animal,
strapped his blanket upon its back aud
mounted. They rode together boldly
along the creek bank. As they passed
the limits of the herd a Sioux arose
from the grass a few yards distant aud
hailed them. Autoine replied.
"Wego to the hills," he said, gruffly,
"to look for pursuers when light
comes."
The Indian grunted approval, aud
the riders passed leisurely on. This
simple,bold proceeding, and the noise
and confusion 6f the stamping, snort
ing herd, saved an alarm. Its success,
and the knowledge that the Indians
were herding their booty unmounted,
filled Pierre and Antoine with elation.
The Sioux, as they had hoped, were
giving all of their ponies complete rest
for the night.
The daring, riders passed on down
the valley until they were well out of
sight and hea ing of the herd. Then
they hobbled their ponies and flung
themselves upon the grass. Here they
waited, resting and talking in sub
dued voices until that darkest houw
which comes before the dawn. Then
they remounted, uncoiled their grass
ropes aud lode back toward the herd..
They approached, riding cautiously,
until warned by coughing snorts that
the horses were near at hand.
There was no longer the rustle of
trampling feet the herd were lying
at rest. So much the better for the
plan the boys had adopted, a plan sim
ple and bold, requiring dash and cour
aff beyond ordinary conception. They
were to stampede this herd of 500
horses and ride at its heels directly
through and over au Indian camp.
Truly, it was to be neck or nothing
with them! They rode a dozen rods
apart and halted. They scratched
matches under the cover of thei-
horses' flanks and lighted the frayed
ends of their grass ropes.
In the next instant Antoine fired
his revolver in air, aud with shrill,
terrifying whoops the daring fellows
rode at top speed directly at the sleep
ing herd. They whirled their lighted
rope ends, fanned to flame as their
animals ran, and rushed in upon a
startled crowd of horses, encircled in
hissing, writhing coils of fire.
Pierre rode like one possessed and
yelled like a veritable war fiend. As
the herd broke away iu his front ha
ran plump upon an Indian guard.
The Sioux was directly in advance
and running, but turned to shoot. As
he did so. F'iesre, whirling his fire rope,
swept the b!azing end directly into the
savaged face, thrust out a foot and
left him, aprawiing and blinded, it
the grass.
Then there was a wild and moat ex
citing rout. The whole herd of horsei
fled like mad things before those cir
cling, shrieking snakes of fire.
Despite a mob of yelling Indians,
aroused from their blankets and rush
ing frantically hither and thither, th
horses, gathered in a flying masfl,
Bwept resistlessly on, taking theii
own back trail instinctively.
Antoine and Pierre galloped int(
the Sioux camp ground, riding at th
heels of the herd and in a smothering
cloud of dust. They were fired upor,
by several Sioux, whom they nearlj
ran dowa as they came together at the
tail of the herd; but bullets aimed
chiefly at whirling streaks of fire and
in dust and darkness, went amiss, am'
the daring stampeders came off with
out a scratch.
They yelled and whirled their Art
ropes until those effective torches had
burned nearly to their finger ends, and
when that happened they were beyond
the Sioux camp and had the whole
herd with 26 Ogalalla ponies besidt
in front of them and going like th
wind. A score of disconsolate Sioux
bucks were left to make their way od
foot to the Niobrara country.
Four days later the French-Indian
boys drove the recovered stock, minus
four or five head killed and strayed,
down the bluffs at La Saussail.
The owners of the stock had not
thought it worth while to follow the
Indians, but they were delighted with
the exploit of Antoine aud Pierre.
Even the lazy brother was a man of
consequence thereafter and was al
lowed to assist in looking after the
herd.
This recapture of stolen stock was a
piece of daring so admired by the-most
renowned Sioux braves that even
Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull always
spoke of the Le Beau boys with some
envy aud great respect. Youth's
Companion.
COULD NOT SERVE AS JUROR.
Had Been the Victim of Circumstantial
Evidence Himself.
A good story is being told about a
juror who was drawn for service in
the criminal court, Buffalo, recently
oh a murder case. He was willing tc
do his part as a good citizen, but he
had a prejudice against circumstantial
evidence which was so strong he could
not dispel it from his mind, and it
finally became necessary to excuse
him.
He answered the questions put to
him by the prosecuting attorney to
qualify, but when the attorney for the
defendant got down to where he asked
him if he would convict a person on
circumstantial evidence he hesitated.
"Why do you hesitate?" asked the
judge.
"Well, I'll be fra-ik with you," re
plied the juror. "I don't believe in
it."
"If the evidence was so overwhelm
ing that there could be no doubt of
the guilt of the prisoner, wouldn't you
vote to convict?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Judge, can I whisper to yon?"
"Yes."
There was a three-minute conversa
tion between the judge and the juror,
at the conclusion qf which the judge
smiled, and then he said: "Juror, you
are excused."
The attorneys did not forget the in
cident, and at the end of the day's
session they asked the judge what the
trouble was with Mr. , naming
the juror who was excused.
The judge said the man told him he
was the owner of a farm in Cheek
towaga, and among his live stock was
a handsome pet calf. One day while
he was out in the barnyard chopping
at a fence with an axe this calf made
a break to get out of the yard. With
the axe still in his hand, he ran aftei
the animal and caught him by the tail.
Just as he was dragging it back from
an opening in the fence a member of
the family happened along, and, seeing
him with the axe in his hand, con
cluded he was suffering with an attack
of senile dementia and in his fury was
trying to hack the poor beast into veal
cutlets.
"Judge, I was perfectly rational.
and I protested that I was attempting
nothing of the kind, said the juror,
but appearances were against me,
and to this day lam unable to convince
my family that I was not crazy and
was not trying to murder that calf.
That's the reason I am against cir
cumstantial evidence."
Mont Fragrant Flower.
It is an interesting thiug to know
that 4200 species of plants are
gathered and used for commercial pur
poses in Europe. Of these, 420 have
a perfume that is pleasing and enter
largely into the manufacture of scents
and soaps. There are more species
of white flowers gathered than of any
other color 1124 in all. Of these,
187 have an agreeable scent, an ex
traordinarily large proportion. Next
in order come yellow blossoms, with
95L Beventy-seven of them being per
funred. lied flowers number 823, of
which eighty-four are scented. The
blue flowers are of 594 varieties,
thirty-four of which are perfumed, and
the violet blossoms are pleasantly
odoriferous. Tit-Eits.
VIA NIL A IIEMP TRADE,
THE CHARACTER OF THE INDUSTRY
IN THE PHILIPPINE ISLANDS-
The Plant From Which the Hemp Is Made
Belongs to the Banana Family Used for
Halting Bope, Cordage and Cloth The
Crude Machinery Used Injures the Fibre.
Manila hemp, called in Spanish
abaca, is grown successfully in the
Philippine Islands only. Attempts
have been made to grow the plant else
where, as, for example, in Saigon,
China, and in Britisli North Borneo;
but the results have not been satis
factory. The plant from which the hemp is
made belongs to the banana family
and resembles very much the ordi
nary banana tree, its leaves, however,
being darker and Bhorter than the
leaves of that tree. The hemp plant
flourishes best on hilly lands and
mouutain sides, where it can be well
shaded by trees of thick foliage. Al
though it requires a considerable
amount of moisture, it does not do
well in swampy lands.
The province of Alhay, in the island
of Luzon, is the greatest hemp-producing
district in the archipelago; but
the finest quality of hemp comes from
the island of Leyte, which also nearly
equals Albay in amount of output.
The other hemp-producing districts
are: Provinces of Camarines Sur,
Camarines Norte and Tayabas, in Lu
zon island; the islands of Samar.Mar
induque, Mindanao, Cebu aud Negros.
Four years from the time of plant
ing the seed are needful before the
plant leaves are ready for the knife,
but ouly three years if shoots be set
out. The general custom among
planters, however, is to transplant
six months old suckers. The shoots
are set out in squares, about six feet
between each shoot, and in starting a
hemp plantation in forest lands the
large forest trees are left standing to
shade the young shoots. After the
first three or four years of waiting, a
hemp plantation is usually a safe aud
profitable investment, as the plants
are seldom damaged by typhoons be
cause of the protection furnished by the
forest trees; the plantations are gener
ally on high lands and therefore suffer
little from floods; locusts do not attack
the leaves in the way they do almost
everything else green on the island;
fires cannot spread far among the
rank foliage; no costly machinery is
required on the plantations, and no
plowing is necessary, although care
ful weeding is required; the plants
can be harvested all the year round,
as they come to maturity. The leaves
should be cut for the fibre, however,
wheu the plant is flowering, nor
should the plant be allowed to go to
seed, for if allowed to bear fruit the
fibre will be weakened. The average
weight of dry idbre from one plant is
about ten ounces, aud the yield from
a well-managed plantation is 360
pounds of dry fibre to the acre.
Tae method of making hemp is a
very primitive one. The leaves that
ehoot out from the trunk of the plant,
after being detached, are separated
into strips five or six inches wide, and
from five to six and a half feet long.
To separate the fibre from the pulp,
these strips or basts, as they are
called, are drawn under a knife that is
fastened at one end by a hinge to a
wooden block. A cord and a treadle
are attached to the other end of the
knife, and the operator, by working
the treadle, can tegnlate the pressure
of the knife, upou the bast. The edge
of the knife should be smooth and
keen, but too often it is serrated, as
the work then is easier for the native
at the treadle. As the bast is drawn
through, the fibre is wound around a
stick of wood. The natives work in
pairs, one man stripping the bast and
the other drawing it under the knife.
In this way two meu can turn out
about 300 pounds of dry fibre in a
week.
Machines to take the place of the
crude apparatus described have been
tried, but all have failed to answer the
purpose, as all of them discolored the
fibre. Machines with metal cyliuders
and machines with glass cylinders, to
wind the fibre on, have been tried, but
all injured the hemp. Dealers and
growers try to enforce the use of
knives without teeth or indentations,
so that the fibre may be fine, clean
and white, but they have met with but
little success.
Manila hemp for this name is given
to the product from all of the Philip
pine Islands is classified by Manila
firms as first, second and third quali
ties. The middle men, or copia
dores, in dealing with the native col
lectors of small quantities, divide the
hemp into two classes: First quality,
corriente, and second quality, Colora
do. Although there are few hemp
plants that will give a whiter fibre
than others, it is probable that all
would yield first-class hemp, abaca
corriente, if the natives could be made
to cut the plaut during the flowering
season ouly, draw the fibre under a
toothless knife the same day that the
bast is stripped and sun-dry at the
first opportunity. The native, too,
often strips the plant whenever he
needs a few dollars, and leaves the
basts exposed to the rain and all sorts
of weather until they are so'tened by
putrefaction and the fibres weakened,
because then they are easier to work
under the knife.
In Manila the large export houses
r.x the price ou corriente abaca, and
allow a proportionate price for second
and third qualities.
In addition to the uses to which
hemp is put up making rope and cord
age, the natives weave from the fine
fibres, carefully selected, a cloth called
Bicol dialect, lupis; from the coarser
fibres a very strong aud durable cloth,
called all over the archipelago sina
may, is made. This cloth is worn by
all of the poorer classes. From a
mixture of the fibres of the pineapple
leaf and of carefully selected hemp a
cloth of much finer quality, called
jusi, is made. This cloth is thought
by many to be more beautiful than the
piua, made entirely of the pineapple
fibre, for which the islands are noted.
WILL EAT UP SMOKE.
New Invention Which Will Bring Ke
lief to Soot-Laden Cities. ,
A newly-patented smoke consumer
was tested recently in Washington.
The tests were rigid ones and were
satisfactory to the witnesses. By an
ingenious mechanical device the smoke
from the boiler grate which usually
finds access to the outer air by way of
the smokestack is supplied with oxy- '
gen sufficient to cause combustion
and resnlt in the complete burning of
the smoke, the flames from the latter:
adding to the heat received by the
boiler. In the tests the grate wasf
first filled with soft coal( refuse and a
hot fire reached. No smoke was ob
servable issuing from the smokestack
connected with the boiler grate until
the inventor cut off the oxygen. Then
it poured forth in heavy volume from,
the stack. In an instant after the
burner was again put in operation
there was no smoke perceptible. The
grate was then filled with a mass of -
rags and dirt and the same experi
ment as described above again suc
cessfully carried out. The fire was
drawn from the grate and the steam
pressure in the boiler allowed to re
duce to nothing. A new fire of wood
en barrels was started, and iu fifteen,
minutes a steam gauge of the boiler
registered a pressure of 65 pounds.
By means of au aperture in the.
brick wall of the combustion chamber
in which the boiler A as located it was
possible to witness the burning of the
smoke and see its flames wreathing
the boiler on all sides. An examina
tion of th,e deposit left from the smoke
after combustion showed it to be a
light, almost white, impalpable pow
der, with none of the characteristics
of soot whatever. It is claimed by
the inventor that boilers and other
power-producing appliances requiring
great heat can be operated at half the
cost now incurred for them by use of
the burner, because the cheapest
grades of coal which produces the
greatest amount of smoke ordinarily
can be used without loss of .any heat
giving properties. i
High Lights.
Life is a bureau drawer which sticks,
and through a crack we helplessly
thrust our fingers at the things we
would like to reach.
Woman can't throw a stone, but
when she drops a flower pot out of a
window she always hits somebody.
The ideal woman is one whose pre
served strawberries hold out until
fresh strawberries get cheap.
Three-fourths of the bread cast upon
the waters returns because it has a
string tied to it.
Few women can sit through a ser
mon without hoping that the cook
won't let the dinner burn.
In the chase after happiness there
are too many crossroads and too few
guideboards.
It is a wise womtn who never re
minds her husband that he forgot ta
kiss her. . .
After a bad dinner human nature ia
cross; after a good dinner it is stupid.
Man's experienca is like his fpec
tacles seldom a good fit foyiny other
man.
You caunot forgive a friend without
lowering yourself iu his estimation.
Chicago Record. . '
Dangerou .Art.
A newly arrived German iu New
York c'ty, who was apprenticed foi
years to a trunk aud bag maker in
Berlin, Germany, undertook the other
day to paint his own sign, and the re
sult looked like this except -thai
crooked letters caunot be made with
these typei "Gustav Fritz hei mer,
maker of trunk sandbags. " "Le' ma
see some o thim sandbags," said a
new member of the force, deftly con
cealing his billy. "Saud bags?" re
peated the German. "Sant-begs? I
haf no santbeg! What you mean? A
beg for sant? Miue peezness is trunga
and begs. I sell you a hantsome beg
for tollar seventy-five " But the
policeman, seeing a great light, re
marked: "My friend, you are a prac
tical joker,- but go out and hire a
painter to change your sign. Yon
make my beat look suspicious." Ne
York Press.
One of Many.
"George, do you know of any nice,
quiet restaurant where I can get mj
meals for a while?"
"Why, what's the matter, old fel
low any trouble at home?"
"Yep. My wife has begun talk"
ing about taking up carpets." Clav
land PlaiD Dealer.