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VOL. X. PLYMOUTH, N. C, FRIDAY, AUGUST 2o, 1899. No749.
A
HIRAM BAKER'S
Sometimes, when I read of the men
Who're on the tip-top notch ol fame,
While every tongas nd erery pen
Is pay in' tributes to their name,
And when I think how close and small
My life and lot is on this earth,
I have been fo6l enough to fall
Into the blues and hate it all,
And envy luckier men their berth.
Sometimes, when some chap wins the prize,
And writes his name amongst the best,
I think, 'spose I'd his chance to rise,
His edlcation and the rest,
I wonder it I couldn't climb
The ladder jest as quick as he,
And then it almost seems a crime
That he should feast, while, all the time,
There's but the hard, dry crusts for me.
I M
ISS TEROBIA'S FAILURE.
BY HELEN WHITNEY CLARK.
y "You're a stnnnin'in yer own light,
Ferobv." Tiniothv Filbert shook his
'bead solemnly aa he spoke. lie was a
large man, with small, light-blue eyes-
aud a chronic stoop in the shoulders,
suggestive of a too steady application
to the plow.
"You're a stannin'inyer own light,"
he repeated, impressively.
"Mebbe you're right, Timothy,"
admitted his sister, meekly. She was
not naturally of a meek disposition,
but there are times when the most
spirited person feels crushed by cir
cumstances, and such a moment had
iomi to Miss Ferobia. Timothy felt
somewhat placated by the unexpected
admission.
1 'Tain't too late yet, "he suggested,
r- briskly, taking his seat at the break
''''fast table, where his sister was already
' pouring the coffee. "You jest say
the word, Feroby, an.' I'll give Jason
Small weed a hint that you've changed
yer mind." '
His pale-blue eyes glanced inquir
ingly at his sister, but Miss Ferobia's
momentary meekness seemed to have
vanished a3 unaccountably as it had
appeared.
... "I haven't changed my mind," she
, retorted with much asperity. "I
won't marry Jason Srnall.weed, nor
nobuddy else." I'll stay right here an'
keep house for you the balance of my
days."
Timothy wriggled uneasily. He had
hi3 own. reasons for not appreciating
the generous offer. To fortify himself
i for the disclosure which must be made
he swallowed half his coffee at a gulp.
"I I the truth is, Feroby," he
stammered, with a crimson counten
ance, "I felt so sartin I was a-goin' to
lose you, I I asked Nancy Garget, an'
she said she'd have me."
- The cat was out of the bag now, and
V Timothy mopped his face with his
handkerchief and breathed a sigh of
. relief.
But Miss Ferobia, like a sensible
woman, bore the shock bravely.
"And how soon am I to give up my
situation?'' she asked.
11 Timothy grew uncomfortable again.
"Hey? Oh! why you needn't
to be in a hurry. -t won't come off
fur a week yet," he hastened to ex
plain. "An", of course, you know I
wouldn't hevnothin' again yer stayin'
right along, same as ever, only Nancy,
she "
"You couldn't hire me -to stay,"
. was the. reassuring answer, and Tim
othy congratulated himself on having
the matter so easily settled. "It puz
zled me consider'ble to know why Tim
othy was so sot on me changin' my
mind," reflected Miss Ferobia, as she
washed up the breakfast dishes and
polished the knives and forks. "But
it's plain as a pike-staff now. I might o'
knowed he was- sayin' one word fur
me an' two fur hisself.".
" Miss Ferobia was as unlike her
brother in appearance a3 she was in
disposition.
While he was stoop-shouldered she
Avas straight as an arrow. And though,
".a she admitted, she was "getting
U along" jn years, her bright eyes and
. fresh complexion contradicted the as
sertion. At her brother's request she re
mained at her post until the wedding
was over and the bride installed in
her uew' home.
There was very little congeniality
between the two women, aud Mrs.
Timothy Filbert was disposed to tri
umph over her sister-in-law.
"I s'pose you wasn't a-countin' on
your brother marryin'," she reniarkel,
disagreeably, as she combed out her
iuk-black tresses before the square
framed looking glass in the best room,
v "He had a right to please himself,"
..Vejoiued Miss Ferobia, composedly.
. "But what are you going to. do?"
. persisted the bride. "As I told Tim-
othy before I promised to have him,
the house wa'n't big. enough fur two
fain'lies, an you couldn't expect to
stay after I come,"
"An' as I told him, I wouldn't stay
if he paid me for it." retorted Miss
Ferobia, emphatically,
, "Oh, you're mighty independent,"
sniffed Nancy, tossing her head. "I
suppose you're a calculatin' to take
up with Jason Smallweed. You
wouldn't ketch me marryin' a widder
er," sbo added, maliciously. "If I
couldcbe the tablecloth I wouldn't
be the ttish rag. But I "s'pose he's
IIoL -ion's choice with you."
MORALIZINC.
But, then again, I think, suppose
That all our brains was same as his,
Who'd plow the furrers, plant the rows,
And do the common stints there is?
If everyone oould greatness share
This world would stop, I guess we'd And:
TV'e can't all fancy-work prepare.
The few have pleasant tasks and fair,
The many'a got to git the grind.
God made us all, and put us here
As part of His almighty plan;
And each one's got his duty clean
It's test to do the best he can.
And if my place in life ain't what
I'd like to have it, nor as great,
Why, if I can, I'll change my lot,
And, if I can't, whate'er I've got,
I'll try to keep my furrer straight.
Joe Lincoln.
afraid her sister-in-law might still
inanaae to retain a place in the house
hold by hook or by crook, aud she was
determined to provoke an altercation
in order to prevent such a sequence.
But Miss Ferobia was not to be
drawn into a quarrel.
"He may be ' Hobson's choice, but
he is not mine," she returned, coolly.
Nancy, however, was as persistent
as a gnat or a gadfly.
"I don't doubt but what you'd
rather have Felix Byefield," she sug
gested, slyly; "but you needn't to
count on gittin' him.far he's a-keepin
comp'ny with the Widder Cheeseman,
an' everybuddy says they're a-goin' to
marry after harvest,"
It was a random shot on Nancy's
part, but her black eyes sparkled with
malicious triumph as she saw by her
sister-in-law's burning cheeks that the
poisoned arrow had struck home.
Miss Ferobia deigned no reply, how
ever, but went coolly about prepara
tions for her own departure.
She had rented a small cottage and
a few acres of ground a mile or two
from the old homestead, and Timothy
oould do no less than get out the
spring wagon and drive her to the
new home.
It was yet early, in the springtime,
and the wild plum trees were white
with bloom. The tall maples and elms
by the roadside swung their light tas
sels in the soft breeze, and 'myriads of
buttercups and purple hued pansie3
dotted the grass-grown lanes.
"I dunuo what you wanted of so
much ground 'round your house," re
marked Timothy, reflectively, as the
wagon rolled easily along. "Half an
acre would have been enough, I should
fay." '
"No, it wouldn't," maintained his
sister, stoutly. "I'm a-goin' into the
gardenin' business, to raise truck far
the markets. ""
Timothy whistled.
"You'll make a failure of it, sure as
guns," he declared, ruthlessly.
But Miss Ferobia was not to be dis
couraged. "There's plenty of men make a livin'
at it, an' why not me?" the asked.
"I've got a little money laid by to
start on. An' I've got a stout pair of
arms, and never was sick a day in my
life; so why should I make a failure of
it?"
But Timothy only shook his head
aud remarked, vaguely, that it was
"onpracticable, and she should find
out," and declined to commit himself
further. And the couference wa3 cut
short by their arrival at the cottage.
It was a lonely place, but Miss Fero
bia was blessed with strong nerve?, and
solitude had no terrors for her.
She had accumulated a few odds
and ends of furniture from time to
time, the gifts of various friends aud
relative?, which went a good way
toward furnishing her diminutive
dwelling.
And when they were arranged to her
satisfaction, and a square of bright
rag carpet tacked down in the centre
of the room, Miss Ferobia felt as happy
as a king. -
She was too tired after her day's
work to do more than take a cup of
tea and retire to rest. But a comfort
able night's sleep on the old-fashioned
square-posted bedstead restored her
energies, and for the next few days
she was as busy as a nailer over her
preparations.
Lem Dodson was hired to plow the
"truck patch," a cow with a young
calf was bargained for, and a few fowls
of the Plymouth Rock and Dorking
species were purchased and were soon
cackling vigorously around their new
quarters.
After a little more help from neigh
bor Dodson, and a vigorous use of the
hoe on Miss Ferobia's part, the ground
was in readiness for j'lanting, and the
ambitious market gardener sat up till
long past her -usual bedtime looking
over her stock of seeds and selecting
those requisite for immediate use.
. There might still be late frosts, she
reflected, and such tender plants as
beans and cucumber?, summer squashes
and nutmeg melons would be better
out of the ground than in it for a few
days to come. But beets aud lettuce,
spinach and marrowfat peas and ruta
bagas would stand anything short of
a regular freeze, and might be safely
planted at once.
And, lata though sho pat up, the first
Miss Ferobia napping the next morn
ing, nor for many mornings to come.
She was up with the birds, and after a
hasty breakfast out she sallied, and
hoed and raked, weeded and trans
planted, till her back ached and her
fingers grew sore and her nose freckled
and her cheeks tanned. But garden
ing is hard work, at best, and though
Miss Ferobia labored with a will, the
grass and weeds would creep in here
and there, in spite of her vigilance.
The purslane "pusly" she called it
and horse nettles grew faster than her
buttoi-bead lettuce or white spine cu
cumbers. Then the weather was not always
propitious, and her first planting of
sugar corn and early rose potatoes
rotted in the ground.
But Miss Ferobi;), nothing daunted,
replanted the vacant rows with later
varieties, . and in due time the seeds
sprouted and gave every promise of a
luxuriant crop.
But fiom that time on it was, as the
little woman declared, a "tussle" be
tween herself and the. weeds.
Wbile she was hoeing her cabbages
and kohl robies and weeding her silver-skin
onions, the cockle buns and
wild morning glories were flouri hing
among her sweet corn and potatoes.
She worked early and late, however,
to eradicate the tenacious interlopers,
aud finally succeeded in accomplishing
her task. When lo! one unlucky night
Farmer Nubbins' pigs forced their
way through a broken panel of the
fence and played havoc among the
growing crops.
Small wonder,indeed, if our heroine
lost her temper at last and pelted
those pigs with clods, or whatever
came handiest, and even whacked one
of them across the snout with the
hoe handle.
But with all her efforts it was late
in the day when the last one of the
marauders was disposed of and the
fence patched up, after a fashion.
(I will say here, in parenthesis, that
I do believe a woman could vote, and
even make laws, and execute them,
too, as well as a man, under some cir
cumstances. When I say "under some
circumstances," I mean if 'she were
not hampered by prejudiced and un
reasonable colleagues. But when it
comes to patching rail-fences, the
least said about woman's capabilities
the better).
However, Miss Ferobia's workman
ship, if not exactly aitis tic, was suffi
ciently ingenious to prevent further
inroads in that direction.
But for some reason, from that
time on the Fates seemed to turn a
cold shoulder on her efforts.
The rabbits feasted on her early
York cabbages aud marrowfat peas, the
striped bugs worked destruction on
her cucumbers and Cassava melons,
the Colorado beetle devastated her
potatoes, and the squash bugs ate up
her Boston marrows aud atty-pan
squashes. The foxes, minks, owls
and hawks, to say nothing of opossums
and weasels, thinned the ranks of her
young Dorkings and Ph mouth Rocks;
and, to make matters worse, her cow
turned out to be a "jumper" and
brought disgrace on herself and
trouble on her mistress by daily raids
on Farmer Nubbins' cor u field.
Thi3 was the last straw, and, like
the mythical camel, Miss Ferobia
broke dowu under it.
"There aiu't no i;se a-tryin', ns I
see," she lamented, dolefully as she
set out her one cup aud saucer, in
readiness for her tea. "A lone
woman dou't have no chance at all.
An' here I've spent all my money, an'
my garden ain't wuth shucks. And
Timothy, he'll say he told me how
'twould be, and that I'd better o' mar
ried Jascn Smallweed. And I almost
b'lieve I would No, I wouldn't,
either. I won't tnke up with a crooked
stick, if I be nearly through the
woods "
'Eveiiin', Miss Feroby, " interrupted
a cheery voice, and there, framed in
the doorway, stood Felix Byefield, a
smile brightening his honest, sun
browned face.
Miss Ferobia shook hands with her
visitor, and drew forth a chair for
him, with a secret fluttering at her
heart as she remembered her sister-in-law's
insinuation.
But Felix was evidently bent on
making himself agreeable.
"An' so you've struck out for your
self," he observed. "Gittin along
first rate, I opine. You must show
me your garden. " ;
"I haven't got no garden, an' you
sha'n't see it," declared Miss Ferobia,
inconsistently. "It's all choked up
with weeds I couldn't keep 'em out.
An' what with the bugs, an' the rab
bits an' pigs I ain't got a cabbage
head left skeercely."
"Sho' now, you don't say! Why, if
that ain't too bad," responded Felix,
sympathetically.
"An' the varmints has took all my
yonngchickeus," continued Miss Fero
bia. "An Farmer Nubbins is a-goin'
to shoot my cow, an' an' "
The 'bought of all her woes was too
much for her, and she began to sob
hysterically. .
"L'oa't cry. Miss Terobv; please
don't," urged Felix. "He shan't
shoot your cow, I promise you."
But Miss Ferobia shook her head
aud dried her eyes on the corner of
her aprou,
"I'il sell the cow," she dcared.so-
somewhere. I can cook if I can't
make a garden."
"No need to hire out," put in Felix,
eagerly. "I want somebody to cook
fur me. Say you'll marry me, Fero
by!" But Miss Ferobia in her surprise
stared at him, then hung her head,
blushing like a girl.
"It's so sudden," she whispered.
"What's the odds?" asked Felix,
boldly. "I wanted you loug ago, only
I couldn't somehow git the courage to
ask you. Say yes, won't you,Feroby?"
And after a little more urging Miss
Ferobia did say yes, and felt very well
contented with her future prospects.in
spite of her weedy garden.
"Timothy will say the truck busi
ness was a fail are after all," she re
flected, as she washed up her suppet
dishes at night, with a very light
heart, "but he can't say it wasn't e
successful failure, anyhow." Waver
ley. THE CENTRE OF POPULATION.
WhereltHaa Been and Where the Nexl
Censn May Show It lo Ie.
By the first national census taken ir
1790, when the population of the coun
try was not much greater than of New
York city today, says the Sun, the
centre of population was twenty-three
mile3 east of Baltimore. It was still
in the neighborhood of Baltimore,
though to the west of that t ity, in
1800. In 1810 it was near Washing
ton. In 1820 it was at Woodstock, Ya.,
aud 1830, 1840 and 1850 in the pres
ent state of West Virginia. In 1860
it was a little to the south of Chili
cothe, Ohio, this being the first of
ficial appearance of Ohio as the centre
of population, though it has remained
the political centre of population
steadily ever since.
In 1870 the centre of population was
on a Hue in Ohio between Chilicothe
aud Cincinnati; in 1880 it was in the
neighborhood of Cincinnati, and in
1890, the year of the last national
census, it was in Decatur county,
Ind., near the Ohio boundary, and on
a line between Cincinnati and Indian
apolis. The government estimate of
the present population of the United
States, exclusive of countries over
which its sovereignty has been ex
tended, was 75, 000, 000 on June 1, and
all sections of the country have par
ticipated, though not . equally, in the
growth of population since 1890, when
it was 62,600,000.
By the coming census the Ohio and
Mississippi Valley states will probably
be shown to have gained less from di
rect foreign immigration than in any
previous decade, while the citizens of
the Middle and New England states
have, relatively, gained more. There
has been a substantial increase in
population, larger, probably, than -in
any period since the close of the civil
war, in the southern and south border
states, aud a mnch larger increase in
those of the southwest,-most notably
in Texas, the total vote of which in
creased from 230,000 in 1880 to 340,
000 in 1890 and 550,000 iu 189l The
population of Texas (2,20:000 in
1890) is probably near 3,600,000.
A state census taken of Kansas in
1895, on the other hand, showed the
population of that state to be less than
in 1890, while in the same period the
population of New Jersey had in
creased 16 per cent. Between 1890
and 1895 the populaton of Florida in
creased from 390,000 to 465,000, while
the population of South Dakota (328,
000 in 1890) was returned as 330,000
five years later.
The growth of population in Ameri
can states between 1890 and 1900 will
be in accordance with the inciease of
the urban population in each rather
than with the gaiu in agricultural dis
tricts. As a majority, of the cities are
iu the north, it appears likely that the
"centre of population" iu 1900 will be
on or near the banks of the Wabash in
the state of Indiana, at some point
northwesterly from the present cen
tre and nearer the Illinois than the
Ohio state line.
A Mixed Itelat ionwlilp.
Over the line in Ohio county, a man
named Miller married a widow whe
had a grown-up daughter. His fathet
fell in love with the step-daughter.
The father became the sou's son-in-law
and the step-daughter became his
mother. Recently the son's wife had
a child. The child was Miller's
father's brother-iu-law and Miller's
own uncle, for he was a brother of hi?
step-daughter. Miller's father's wife
his step-mother also bad a son.whc
was, of course, Miller's brother, anc
incidentally Miller's grandchild, foi
he was the sou of Miller' a daughter.
Thus Miller's own wife was his
mother's mother and Miller became
his w ife's grandchild at the same time.
And then, to top the whole thing off,
as the husband of his giaudmother he
was his own grandfather. The Path
finder.
lie Had a Strong; Argument.'
A youn? Irishman once went to i
kind-hearted old squire for a recom
mendatiou. An elaborate one wai
written and read to him. He took i'
with tbanks, but did not move.
"What's the matter with it?" roarec
the squire. "Oh, uothin,' sorr," saic
the lad, quickly. "Well, then, whj
don't you go?" 'Sure, sorr, I though'
iu ihe strintb. o' a reeommind likt
that you'd be wauting t hi o n:2."
DEVOTION OF A FISH.
It Follows its Owner Arountl After the
Manner of Dor.
A gentleman walking one evening in
the park at Durham, England, the seat
of the "Earl of Stamford and Warring
ton, came to a pond where fish in
tended for the table were temporarily
kept He took particular notice of a
fine pike, of about six pounds weight,
which,'.' when it observed him, darted
hastily away. In . so doing it struck
its head against a tenter hook in a port
(of which there were several in the
pond, placed to prevent poaching) and
fractured its skull, thereby turning the
optic nerve on one side. ,.'
The anguish evinced by the fish ap
peared most horrible. It iushed to
the bottom, and boring its head into
the" mud, whirled itself around with
such velocity that it was almost lo-t
to sight for a short interval. It then
plunged about the pond, and at length
threw itself completely out of the
water on to the bank.
The doctor caught the fish and up
on examination found that a very
small portion of the brain was pro
truding from the fracture in the skull.
He carefully replaced this, and with a
small silver toothpick raised the in
dented portion of the skull. The fish
remained still for a short time, and he
theu put it agaiu into the pond.
It appeared at first a good deal re
lieved, but in a few minutes it again
darted aud plunged about until it
threw itselt out of the water a second
time. A second time the gentleman
did what he could to relieve it, aud
again put it into the water. The pike
continued for several times to throw
itself out of the poud, and, with the
assistance of the keeper, the doctor at
length made a kind of trepan for the
fish, which was then left in the pond
to its fate.
Upon making an appearance at the
pond the followiug morning, the pike
came to the edge of the water and ac
tually laid its head upon the physi
cian's foot. The doctor thought this
most extraordinary, but he examined
the fish's skull and found it going on
all right. He then walked backward
aud forward along the edgo of the
pond for some time, and the fish con
tinued to swim up and down, turning
whenever he turned, but being blind
oh the wounded side of his skull, it
always appeared agitated when it had
that side toward the bank, as it could
not then see its benefactor.
Next day the doctor took some
yoang friends down to see the fish,
which came to him as before, and at
length he actually taught the pike to
come to him at hir whistle and feed
out of his hands.
With other persons it continued as
shy as fish usually are.
This was a most remarkable case of
gratitude iu a fih for a benefit re
ceived. Largest Moose Known.
At the Academy of Science in Lin
coln park, Professor Woodruff and an
assistant are setting up what is with-
out doabt the largest moose ever
killed. It will be on exhibition within
a month, and the public will have a
chance to see this giant of the north
ern woods.
Thi3 moosa was killed the latter
part of October, 1898, by an Alaskan
Indian named Shopuegou and a squaw
man, Ripstein, about thirty-five miles
back of Valdies, just over the big
glacier near the Copper river. It was
purchased by C. F. Periolat of this
city, and brought to Chicago last
November, where it was sold for
$1000.
The immense size of this animal
caa be better judged when a g'ance is
taken at the following measurements:
The spread of the autlers, 73 1-4
iuches; height of moose from hoof to
top of antlers, 8 feet 6 inches; height
from hoof to top of foresboulder. 6
feet 4 inches; length from tip of nose
to ho -k of rear leg, 16 feet; weight
when killed, 2000 pounds.
No other such moose was ever heard
of in this country or auy other, and
the academy is proud of its possession.
Chicago Chronicle.
Diminutive Iticyrle.
In these days of mammoth under
takings, monster buildings, gigantic
everything, it is refreshing to turn
aside to the Lilliputian land and
study the smallest things in ex- j
tstence. isiggest uoes uot a'ways
mea i best, as the owner of the small
est bicycle in the world will tell you.
This diminutive bike is owned by a
youug Briton, whise home is at Ka
rachi in India. The frame of the
wheel is 9 iuches, the wheels are 12
inches, the gear 40 aud the weight
I 1-2 pounds. The smallest working
model of a bicycle was made by an
Ameriian diamond cutter. It is a
f.retty novelty. The frames, rims and
preumatic tires are of silver, the
spokes of the thinnest gold wire, the
chain is of steel, each link bnng
forged and put together separately.
The whole machine is barely two
inches iu height, aud i3 richly en
3i uste l with diamonds.
A ' ere t X-nIve I nl.
? he 1 a gr;int ll.at your income
would le enough for ns to marry, if
onlv you didn't have such expensive
l a.K -
Ke I? Expe-sivo fads? What ex
pensive fad have I? )
!he !e, for instance. '"Lustigw
A VICTIM TO ADVICE.
A wise old man was Ebenezer Barr,
Who always tried to do as he was bid;
They said, '"Go, hitch your wagon to a
star"
And Ebenezer did.
But, oh! what trials he had to endure
When that cantankerous star he tried to
drive!
It would have been a marvel, I am sure,
Had bo come out alive.
For of the science of astronomy
So ignorant was Ebenezer Barr,
He made an awful blunder, and, you sea,
He chose a shooting star.
And though he sat up firmly In his place.
Determined he would conquer his wiU
steed,
That star went plunging madly into space
At more than lightning speed.
Of course the poor old fellow was thrown
out;
His was a fearful fate; ana they do say
That EbenHzer wns without a doubt,
Drowned in the milky way.
Carolyn Wells in Panl
HUMOROUS.
Teacher What can you tell tag
about the rabbit? Pup.l Its loft
hind foot is lucky.
"What a sanguine disposition your
wife has!" "l'es; she never lets up
when she has decided what I ought to
do."
"Beverly, did you enjoy your Euro-
riann trii-kV" 4Vm iIwIt' moat a cahI
who succeeded in borrowing mouey ot
me."
He Miss Putnam is in her declin
ing years, I take .it V Her Rival
Well, if 1 were a man I wouldn't run
the risk of jroposing to her.
"No," said the corn-fed philosojjher,
"a man should not tell a woman he
will love her always, unless both of
them are young enough to believe it."
Clara I never sing except for my
very dear friends. Maude There's
where you make a mistake.. You
should sing only for your worst ene
mies. "Dear Tim I'm sending you my
old coat by panel post, so I've cut the
buttons off to make it lighter. But
you will find them in the inside pock
et, Yours truly, Pat."
"Do.'t you think, Mrs. Spitely, that
this hat is a little too gay for a ma
tronly woman like me?" "Not at all,
my dear. You know that you're years
younger than you look."
Sister (meditatively) All geuinse3
seem to be absent-minded. Why is it
you never hear of dull peojle being
so? Bobby (promptly) Pshaw, it's
just because they haven't got the
minds to be absent,
"Of conrse, as a general thing,"
she said, "I don't believe in marrying
a man for money. But marriage is
such a lottery, you see.and it's just as
well to know for sure that there's
something about him you'll like.". ..
Miss Quickstep What part of town
are we driving through, Mr. Fibble?
Fweddy I haven't the least idea.
Miss Quickstep I was aware of that.
Still, I thought it possible you might
know whatpart of town we are driving
through.
"Oh!" sighed the poetic lady, "had
I the wings of a bird!" "Don't!"
protested her husband. "Don't wish
for the wings of a bird. If you had
them some other woman would prob
ably be wearing them on he:- hat be
fore the season is over."
Old Lady (on ocean steamer)
Mercy me! Is this all one ship? Trav
eled Granddaughter Why, yes,
grandma, and we haveu't walked a
quarter the length of it yet. Old
Lady Gracious! How near will we
be to the laud when we get to the
other end?
Mrs. Teller She told me the whole
story word for word, just as I have
repeated it tJ you, and she made me
promise not to whisper a word of it to
anybody, Mr. Teller But you told
me, my dear. Mrs. Teller Yes of
course, but I didn't whisper, did 1?
Chicago News.
He What sort of a footstool was
that you gave your husband? She
What are you talking about? I didn't
give him any footstool. I gave him a
beautiful band-worked cover for the
mantelpiece. He Ob, that was it. I
know be told me it was something he
could put his feet on.
"It is only right that I should tell
you," she said, "that father has lost
all." i'N'otall!" be exclaimed. "Yes,
all," she asserted. "No," he said
firmly; "not ail. Yo:i are still left
him. I could not be so cruel as to
add to bis misfortunes. Tell him -tell
him for me that my generosity im
pels me to leave him what little lies
in my power."
I'our Onw Nantes.
A man registered iu a Cleveland
hotel the other day, giving his place
of ' residence as Sleepy Eye, Minn.
Half an hour later another guest reg
istered from Painted l ost, Iowa. The
clerk paid no especial attention to
this, but w hen the next man to regis
ter boldly wrote " White Pigeon,
3Jieh.," alter bis name, both the clerk
and the bookkeeper began to get in
terested, bile they were talking
about the queer names that had beeu
given to some of our western towns a
oigniried looking man stepped up t
the office, whirled the register around
and Rcrmvled ".Ho;seheads, N. Y."
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