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$1.00 a Year, in Advance.
"FOR GOD, FOR COUNTRY, AND FOR TRUTH.'
Single Copy, 5 Cent.
VOL. XIII.
PLYMOUTH, N. C, FRIDAY, JANUARY 2, 1903.
NO. 42.
THE ALBATROSS.
FROM "THE ANCIENT MARINER."
BY SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE.
-.AHongth Jid cross an albatross
Through the fog it came;
As if it had been a Christian soul,
U'e hailed it in God's name.
It ate t ho food it ne'er had oat,
r And round and round it flew
The- ico did split with a thunder-fit;
The helmsman steered us through!
And a pood south wind sprang up behind;
The albatros. did follow.
And every day, for food or play,
Came to the mariner' j hollo!
In mist or cloud, on mast or shroud,
U perched for vesoers nine;
Whiles ail the night, through fog-smoke
white,
Glimmered the wliite moon-shine.
Thr pun row rose upon the right '
;!; of the pea came he.
'StiM hid in mint, and on the left
Went dowa into the yea.
.And the good south wind si ill Idewbchind :
Vut no sweet bird did follow,
Nor any day for food or play
Came to the mariner's hollo.
And T had done a hellish thing,
And it would work 'em woe;
For all ave'-red I had killed the bird
That made the breeze to blow!
Ah. wretch! said they, the bird to slay,
That made the breeze to blow!
About, about, in reel and rout.
The death-fires dancpd at night!
The water, like a witch's oils.
Burnt green, and blue, and white.
g3
Pea Desperado.
it 1 friend Buggies bad gone
I so far as to iut a name to
f 8 his automobile, not tin?
. graved on its various inwards, nor yet
the name of Buggies himself, dangling
m a patent leather tag just above the
steam. So you eau see that he was
pretty far gone, as automobilists go. I
tii Ink he called it the Pea Green Des
perado. The reason I happened to mention
'P.uggles and his machine at all was
thai he came round the other day and
.asked me to" take a spin in it with
him. It seemed to rue as though the
.siccount of what followed might be
.interesting. I can't hope, of course,
to stir auy oue up by a-plain black and
white story of the' "spin" as I was
-stirred up, but if I can impart to this
tale a hundredth 'part of what I felt
.1 shall be well repaid.
Understand, in the first oplace, that
I'm not an automobile man and not
used to the machines any way, and
that my heart is weak aud I have a
'; prejudice foolish perhaps against get
ting ai res ted.
But Buggies came around and asked
me to come along with him, and, as
you may have found yourself, there's
.u good deal in the idea of clattering
about the drives in one of the things,
whether you own it or not, with every
one marking you down for having
money. K you're careful not to make
up too much like a professional chauf
feur, you know, they're bound to think
; you're worth something an automobile
. js vulgarly supposed to be a sign of
lucte fht'y all cost pretty high, too.
I know how much Buggles's cost, for
-one he must have told me a dozen
times.
Well, he came around and caught
me just as I was feeling particularly
perky and daring, any., way. He had
on a shiny automobile cap and an
i.-iinglsfs eyeshade and fine large oily
.gloves, and he looked just like the
-pictures of chauffeurs in the comic
papers, drawn as standing at the pris
oners' dock in court, by preference.
"Come along with me, old boss," said
Uuggles, "I'll take you rattling up the
. Drive in the Pea Green Desperado and
-we'll scare all the old ladies out of
their wits from here to the Monu
. orient."
The long and the short of it was that
1 climbed into his machine, standing
outside my house with a crowd around
it, watching it gurgle and tremble, and
rill the neighbors hiding behind their
lace curtains and Avondering who my
oxpensiA'e friend was. I didn't see
them the neighbors but I knew they
were there. Because I've done it; my
self. It was a pretty instrument Bug-
Nor dim nor red, like Cod's own head,
The glorious sun uprist;
Then all averred I had killed the bird
That brought the fog and mist;
'Twas right, said they, such birds to slay,
That bring the fog and mist.
The fair breeze blew, the white foam flctr,
The furrow followed free;
We were the first. that ever burst
Into that silent s"ea.
Down dropt the breeze, the sails dropt
down -
'Twas sad as sad could be;
And we did speak only to break
The silence of the sea.
All in a hot. and eoflpcr sky
The bloody sun, at noon.
Bight up above the mast did stand,
No bigger than the moon.
D;iy after day, day after day,
We stuck nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
Water, water everywhere.
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.
The very deep did rot; O Christ!
That ever this should le!
Yea, slimy things did crawl with Ir ;
Upon the slimy sea!
gles's automobile. As you might have
guessed from its sobriquet, it was a
tine bright green, except the waist of
it as you might say where you sit
and Avork it. That was red and oily.
There Ave re a number of shiny lan
terns and things stuck over the front
slope of it, and down on the prow Avas
a shutter that steam came through.
You can sce that it Avas the bona fide
article.
We got into it and Buggies grasped
some levers firmly and I curled up my
mustache and glanced up at Miss
Guinnes's AvindoAV in No. 27 and
Avondered if she was home. There
was a terrific steamy clatter that near
ly shook my shoes off, a cloud of smoke
dashed into my eyes, and by the time
I had assured myself that my head had
not been snapped off Ave were in a
strange street.
The rate of speed that Buggies Avas
going at Avas positively sickening. I
am Avilling to swear that Avhen our big
fat wheels hit a manhole the Avhole
engine jumped a foot. We Avcuf around
corners on one Avheel, with Avomcn fall
ing limply into policemen's arms on the
curb, and the policemen shouting at
us until their yells sank to a drone in
the distance. We ran over a yellow
dog and threw .the animal into the air
behind us in the most talented fash
ion. It landed on the top of a brougham
a rather stylish position for a yellow
dog. I noticed these things then, but
(hey didn't appeal to mo as interest
ing. The most interesting thing just
then Avas the preservation of my life.
It, Avas in Buggles's hand I felt that
and Buggies Avas about as careless of
it as though it Avas the life of a Hock
away oyster.
We dashed into the Park on a curve
that shot a fan of gravel off of the
near Avheel and all over a belated May
party, Avhich immediately looked to me
like a coterie of landslide victims being
dug out. A mounted policeman put
his horse at us, but he got in
the trail of our gasolene gas, from .the
exhaust thing in the back, and his
horse balked. An old lady, trying to
cross the drive ahead, just escaped be
ing rolled out by such a close margin
that her silk boa was Avhisked into the
near fore wheel and twisted about the
spokes while she could ha-e said knife.
Try it on an electric fan witli a hand
kerchief, from behind, aud you get the
same effect. Later on. Buggies said,
he Avould get the boa out and put it up
in his den Avith a lot of other relics
that he Avas in the habit of prying out
of the shutter on the automobile's
prow after trips. Bits of little things
he'd hit, you know. He admitted that
he Avas a sentimental cuss, did Bug
gies. We Avcnt up the West Drive like an
express making up time and with
about as much noise. Around the
corner I saw the-Van Doutzers coming
in a victoria. They are one of the
families that I really like to bowx to,
and so, abolishing as much of my fear
for my life as I could, I got ready to
take off my hat, hoping, I must confess,-
that they'd take me for the owner
of the Desperado, instead of Buggies.
To carry out the idea I just rested
my hand on the Avheel thing that you
steer by. I boAved. but I discovered,
to my horror, that I Avas bowing to a
park policeman the Van Doutzers
must have been Avhisked by about
three blocks back by the time I got
my hat off.
All at once there was a frightful
rush of profanity from Buggies, and I
noticed that Ave Avere richotting on a
Avomlerful angle up an incline covered
Avith tulip bls. I peered Avildly be
hind me the road Avas just disappear
ing in the disvauce between trees and
IJie tracks of the automobile among
the flowers looked like the first dig
gings for a canal. Suddenly Ave dived
! into a shady grove on the summit.
ijiviv .1 iiiruuTuuua, piim IT ilia Jl
and I shot, head first into a prickly
sort of bush. The Pea Green Desper-
ado Avas trembling and gurgling, head
; on, against a tree trunk. As for Bug
gies, he had traveled some feet further
I ban I had, and landed in a sort of rus
iie summer house through the Aviudow.
on the laps of two persons already
there. They Avere very angry, both of
them, and vanished down the hill
threatening to have the law on us.
I told Buggies that I didn't blame
them, either that I had been young
myself. He got mad at that and said
it Avas all because I'd put my bally
hand on the steering gear and switched
the machine off the road, and that
he'd "like to have been killed" in con
sequence. He Avanted to knoAV Avhy
the deuce I should switch him up on
this hill did I like the scenery so
much, and Avould I pay the fine?
What's the use of arguing with a fel-Ioaa-
like Buggies Avhen he's mad, any
way? I just kept quiet and got into
the machine and sat still, Avhile he
climbed in and backed her up and
turned her around aud tried to start
her. But she Avouldn't start. He pulied
fall of the levers and things in sight.
but she just stood still and shook. Then
he got out and crawled in underneath
among the works, to see what Avas the
matter. I sat in the waist effectj that
Avas all red and oily. .
Presently I heard him say from the
bowels of the machine, .as it were:
"Are you touchiu' anything'-'' I said,
"No." Buggies said: "There's a chunk
of wood' in the chain I'm a-goin' to
pull it out."
"Pull away," said 1, and I heard him
give a grunt. Gee Avhiz! The Desper
ado leaped like the arrow from the
bow; I heard a Avail of horror from
Buggies, and the next thing I kncAV,
he aud the hill were gone, and I was
ripping across 1 lie sheepfold like the
frout of a cavalry charge.
I don't remember rightly the rest
of the trip I made through the Park
in the Desperado; it's more of a bad
dream than anything else. Those Avere
crowds that dashed up on walls, yell
ing, and mounted police that galloped
after, yelling, and horses that sat down
on carriage shafts or tried to climb
up AA'ith tiie coachman on the box the
coachmen j'clling. too. I pulled all
the movable bits of brassware that I
saw, but there avas no stopping her
Then I grabbed the A7heel and fiddled
about trying to get the hang of how 1o
steer, the blooming thing plunging for
Avard all the Avhile. mind you, like a
runaway engine. Finally, after a
couple of Avild runs onto walks and one
complete circle, I got that straight, and
started on. Avith a splintered park
bench hanging over the prow, but
happy, for at least I could put it to
right and left. By this time it was
dusk.
As the Desperado thundered around
another curve, the lake unfolded away
down below, on my left. Suddenly I
got an idea. I twisted the wheels, put
the machine's nose down the dusty
slope and scrambled from my seat.
Figuratively, I had washed my hands
of all Avorks. I slid over the back of
the machine on my waistcoat, and
dropped. My lapel caught on a hook.
I was jerked in the air, sailed like a
bird for tAventy feet, broke loose sud
denly, and struck the ground hard, but
happily. Doavu below, in the growing
twilight, I saw the Pea Green Desper
ado swaying 'toward the water at light
ning ppced. A splash, a. muffled con
cussionand a column, of water shot
into the air. , , .
Silence fell. ' ' " "
After dinner I got on my hand
painted smoking coat that Miss Guinnes
gave me last Christmas I always put
it on when I'm in a chastened mood
and smoked a pipe by the fire, waiting
for Buggies. I knew he Avould come if
he Avas alive.
The first thing he said Avhen he ar
rived was:
"Where's the Green Desperado?" He
said it quite fearlessly, too. although
I couldn't so much as hear that name
without shuddering.
I told him, though.
"In the lake!" he ejaculated, bound
ing out of his chair.
"And a good thing, too," I said, sol
emnly. "I looked forward to seeiug
you dead' , to-night. Buggies dead
flattened! That devilish machine
made my Avhole past come up in my
mind, and, by gorry. it Avas up to the
Desperado to finish."
"But my money!" cried Buggies pa
thetically. I always thought, he was
a paper sport. I should. haA'e imagined
he had a pretty good run for his money
that afternoon.
' I said nothing. hoAvever. Inwardly,
I confess, I was a little pleased.
Buggies had lost his automobile, and
I couldn't see Iioav he was any hotter
than I was now. New York Evening
Sun.
A Sane View of Mad Anthony.
In Harper's, John II. Spears denwn
strates that General Wayne, commonly
known as "Mad Anthony," was in real
ity the sanest, coolest soldier in Wash
ington's Army.
"They called the hero of Stony Point
and the Maumee Bapids 'Mad Anthony
Wayne,'" says Mr. Spears, "The title'
Avas originated by an Irish soldier av'ho
had been confined in the guardhouse
at the order of the General, and it was
taken up by the people because of the
Avild enthusiasm and determination
Avith which Wajno led his men Avhen
the supreme moment of battle came.
But observe that when the War of the
Revolution impended he 'ransacked his
tory' for accounts of battles that he
might learn military tactics; and he
gave his days to the training of his
neighbors. At Stony Point he led his
men in spite of his wound, but in pre
paring for the battle he appealed to the
pride of his men by parading thein
'clean shaved and Avith hair well
powdered,' while the prelaid plans
included even tl:o slaughter of the
dogs, that no yelp should betray the
approach of the assaulting host. When
in Virginia he charged the hosts of
CornAvallis Avith only r00 men to back
him: when in Ohio. Avhere the honor
of the Nation and the integrity of it3
territory were committed to his care,
he took a legion of 'boys and mis
creants' gathered from the slums, and
trained them until their skill Avith the
musket equalled if it did not surpass
that of the most noted backAvcods Indian-fighters.
" 'Mad Ant iony Wayne' as a leader
in battle was unsurpassed; but it
should also be remembered that his
record as z drill-master is unequalled."
Gladstone's Lojracj.
In a recent speech Andrew Carnegie
paid a handsome tribute to the char
acter and life work of Gladstone, of
Avhich the folloAving is part:
"Mr. Gladstone's fame h beyond
England, beyond the English-speaking
race. It is Avorld-wide. What he did
for Italy, for Greece and the Balkans
Avas evidence of a noble soul sympa
thizing with the oppressed and strug
gling peoples.
"By stepping fonvard boldly to arbi
trate on the Alabama question he
erected an effectual barrier to auy
future Avar between the two great
branches of the English-speaking race,
and made it humanly impossible that
the earth should ever again be stair.ca
.by the blood of English-speaking peo
pie killed by other English-speaking
people in battle."
lifty Years an Usher.
Stephen M. GriSAA'old, of Brooklyn,
has given fifty years of service as
usher in Plymouth Church. Mr. Gris
wold is President of a bank, vcas re
cently elected President of the State
Bankers' Association, and has served
a terra in the State Senate, but above
all these honors he esteems his long
connection Avith "Beecher's Church,"
as it is still called in Brooklyn. As
usher he has escorted to seats in that
famous church such men as Lincoln,
Grant, Sumner, Phillips, Fremont, Gar
rison and other celebrated before, dur
ing and after the war times.
A kind thought is like a blosfom: It
always lias' the potential fruit of a
good deed at its heart.
, THE OPTIMIST.
Some peop!e seem to think thia world i
fuii of base deceivers:
Of interested persons, who, with fraudu
lent intent,
Assume the mark of virtue and are callous
unbelievers.
In piety and goodness that are plain and
evident
My nature is confiding; I am really opti
mistic; My faith in human nature has been long
securely pinned.
Concerning it 1 feel that I can't be too eu
logistic
Still, it is Just as Avell to keep your two
eyes skinned.
My loving friends are dear to me I know;
that they are loyal
I Avouldn't make a statement that would
be considered rash. .
I hold them stanch and trusty,, and with
natures fine and royal,
And I would even trust them well, to
some extent with cash.
I like to have them round me there'a suf
ficient reason why. too
At times they are quite useful, and it's
rarely I have sinned
By doubting them. I'm sure they nearly
all are safe to tie to.
Still, it is just as Avell to keep your tw
eyes skinned.
I have no sort of doubt about the teaching
of the teachers.
The physic of physicians or the justice of
, law:
My cotdidence is boundless in the preach
ing of the preachers;
The truth of lovely woman's Avithout the
slightest flaw;
I do believe policemen have an honest
sense of duty;
In short, our good old world is full of love
liness and beaut-r-Still.
it ia just as well to keep your two
eyes skinned.
Chicago News, j
"What profession do you follow?
"I folloAv the medical profession; I'm
an undertaker." To Avn Topics. .
"Father, what is an umpire?" "An
umpire, my boy, is merely a human ex
cuse for a row." Chicago Post.
She "My little brother will not both
er us to-night.". He "That's good.
When does the funeral take place?"
Chicago News.
Patience "I would never squeeze my
feet out of shape." Tatrice "Oh, yes,
you would, if you were in my shoes."
Yonkers Statesman. ;
I began didatically. "The fool and
his money " "Are the salvation of
the industrious," interrupted the
Shrewd Promoter. Puck.
To air our knowledge Ave're inclined,
And though our talk be gusty,
'Tis Avell to air it, for Ave find
That knowledge groweth musty.
:. Philadelphia Kecord.
"She says she believes in evolution.1
"On what grounds?" "Well, she mar
ried a dude, and he has turned into a
real sensible husband." Philadelphia
Bulletin.
Blind Bill (who had just received a;
copper) "Thankee, sir; thankee. I noo
as you wouldn't fergit the poor blind!
man d'rectly I see ycr come 'round the
corner." Tit-Bits.
"Did" you say that my face would
stop a dock?" "Not exactly; I inti
mated that it would tempt Father
Time himself to pause in admiration."
Washington Star. j
Work at your task from year to year,
And when at last success is Avon, !
Some smiling sluggard Avill appear
And tell you how it should be done.
Washington .Star.
"Now, Willie," said the careful moth
er, "I don't want j'ou to associate with,
those Smith boys they are so rough
and rude." "Not t me, ther' ain't.
Why, I picked a fight an' licked 'em as
soon as I struck ue neighborhood."
Baltimore Herald.
"See here," remarked the guest ta
the neAV Avaiter, "there doesn't seem to
be any soup on this menu card." "Oh,
no, sir," replied the Avaiter, nervously,
"I didn't spill it at this table it waa
the one on the other side of the room."
Cincinnati Commercial-Tribune.
"Your husband, I suppose, still keeps
up his habit of taking two baths a day,
as prescribed by that physical culture
teacher?" "No; he got tired of it and
hunted up a physical culture teacher
who says bathing is Aveakening and in
jurious." Chicago Tribune.
Tommy Reasoning;.
It was a cold, dark, rainy day and
little Tommy . wanted his mother to
read to him. When it was discovered
that the gas did not light the room
sufficiently for his mother to see the
type, Tommy's face . brightened, and
he said: "Oh, mamma, come up in the
den. That room is only about half
the size e. this, and the gas ought to
make it twice as light." New Yorlc
Times,