- , . . ,zr a
$l.oo a Year, In Advance. " FOR GOP, FOR COUNTRY, AND FOR TRUTH." Single Copy, 5 Cent.
VOL. XIV. PLYMOUTH, N. C, FRIDAY. OCTOBER 2, 1903. .NO. 28
A
0
X
4
1
"A'
)
OLD T1MR
ALEXANDER
BT WILLIAM
I am monarch of all I survey,
My right there is none to dispute;
From the centre-all round to the sea
I am lord of the fowl and the brute.
0,f Solitude, where are the charms
That sages have seen in thy face?
Better dwell in the midst of alarms
Thn reign in this horrible place.
I am out of humanity's reach;
I mu?t finish my journey alone;
Never hear the sweet music of speech;
, I start at the sound of my own.
- The beasts that roam over the plain
My imm with indifference see;
They are so unacquainted with men
Their tameness is shocking to me.
, Societv, friendship and love
IJivmeiy bestowed upon man!
Oh. had 1 the wings of a dove,
How soon would a taste you again!
My sorrows I then might assuage
In the ways of religion and truth;
Mia;ht learn from the wisdom of age
And be cheered by the sallies of youth.
bankrupted .
BY EMMA
INETEEN, twenty, twenty
one," said the bald-headed
man. "Twenty-one' name
sakes I've got to look after
when birthdays come
round. What a coniound-
ally
inconvdileut' 'thing it is to be
popular !"
"You bet it Is," said the man with the
red mustache.' "I never exfleYionced
any inconvenience on. that score my
self, but I knq&' other' folks who ha?.
I know one fellow who was sent to jail
on account of his popularity."
The bald-headed man ceased figur
ing. "Dear me!" he said',' weakly.
"Yes, sir," repeated the man with
the red musinche, "he was sent to jail,
lie just got out last week. I am
ghitl he is out. Joe is-ii mighty good
fellow. Good fellows are scarce these
days, and it is a shame to keep one
of them shut up In jail. I never saw
men a popular fellow as Joe used to
be. He was one of the kind that peo
ple name their babies after, and that
is the very top notch of popularity.
"His friend, Tom Curtis, began the.
business. Tom clerks in a Nassau
street bank. lie is no end of a good
fellow, and he and Joe often used to
take luncheon together. One day,
when .Toe wont into the bank at noon
time, he found Tom with his face
spread out in one solid grin.
' Hello,' said Joe,' 'what's tha
racket?'
" 'A boy,' said Tom. 'Arrived last
night, and just guess, you old scala
wag, what we are going to call him?'
.Toe wasn't a bit stuck on himself in
those days, and he never tumbled to
the real situation. 'Can't do it,' said
he.
-We're going,' said Tom, 'to call
him after the bravest, the kindest, the
most affable gentleman in the world.'
"Joe thought he saw a light. 'Ah!'
said be. 'Teddy, eh? Teddy R.?'
" 'Not on your life,' said Tom. 'We
: are going to call him Joseph Webster.'
"Joe was new to that sort of flattery,
and it pleased him immensely. He
steered. Tom into a more expensive
restaurant than they usually patron
ized, and then both had more than
..was good for them. While in that
surcharged state Joe made the mistake
of his life.
" 'Tom,' said he, 'I am coming up to
see that boy of yours, and I am going
to do the handsome thing by him.'
"Tom eyed Joe through a mist of real
tears. 'I knew you would,' he said,
'and my wife said she knew you would.
When I mentioned Joseph Webster to
her this morning as a possible handle
for the kid she said she was agreed,
because you were just the kind to do
the square thing by your namesake.
It is a pleasure to learn, Joseph, that
we were not mistaken In our estimate
of your character.'
"Joe lived up to his reputation gal
lantly. He did more than the square
thing by young Curtis. lie gave him
a present of $100 on the day of the
christening. That was Joe's undoing.
Tom's wife had the habit of telling
everything she knew; so of course she
-told that. In less than a week all
. . . . ,
SELKIRK,
COWTEB.
Ye winds that have made mo your sport,
Convey to this desolate shore
Some cordial, endearing report
Of a.land 1 shall visit no more.
My friends, do they now and then send
A wish or a thought after me?
Oh, tell me I yet have a friend,
Though a friend I am never to see!
How fleet is the glance of a mind!
Compared with the speed of its flight.
The tempest itself lags behind,
And the swift winged arrows of light.
When I think of my own native land,
In a moment I seem to be there;
But; alas, recollection at hand
Soon hurries me back to despair.
But the sea fowl is gone to her nest;
The beast is laid down in his lair;
Even here is a season of rest,
And I to my cabin repair.
There's mercy in every place,
And mercy, encouraging thought,
Gives even affliction a grace
And reconciles man to his lot.
by Popularity,
M. WISE.
Joe's friends as far away as the remotest-edges
of Brooklyn and Staten
Island knew about that present. With
in six months every fellow with whom
Joe had ever swapped a cigar or a
yarn seemed to have been blessed with
a-- new .boy ajid had named him Joseph
Webster. The worst of it was, every
one of these happy fathers expected a
christening offering of $100. The fh'st
half dozen got it, but after that Joe had
to .cut down expenses. First, he re
duced the amount to $."0. then to $20,'
and finally to $10. That made- the
mothers of the late, copiers finad. They
called Joe stingy and said they would
not have burdened -their babies with
such an ugly name as Joseph Webster
if. they had known that was all they
were going to get out of it. ' .
"Joe thought, when he dropped to. the
five-dollar mark, that his friends would
stop adding Joseph Websters to the
City Directory, but they kept up their
infernal christening parties till they
found he was dead, broke. It "took
just two years to break him. When
people-' began paying their respects to
him in that expensive way he had
about $5000 that his grandfather had
left him and a nice little business that
cleared him an income of more than a
thousand a year. His namesakes de
voured It all interest and principal
alike. Finally, he closed up shop, and
with the proceeds derived from a cash
sale of, the stock on hand he started
a little combination stationery, tobac
co, confectionery and delicatessen
store up on Sixty-fourth street. When
he moved into that store Joe cut loose
from all his old associates. His wife
went with him, and aside from her he
hoped never to see any one whom
he had known in his days of affluence.
It would have been better if he could
have left her behind, too, but that was
not convenient. She put bad notions
into Joe's head.
"'I think,' said she, 'that we shall
drum up a pretty fair trade In this
neighborhood if you can only make
yourself popular.'
"For the first time in his life Joe
threw hard words at the partner of his
joys. 'Popular!' said lie. 'Good heav
ens, I don't want to be popular. I've
been popular long enough. I want to
make people hate me, and if I can
devise any way to accomplish that
purpose I shall set about doing it at
once.'
" 'In that case,' said his wife, 'you
will not sell anything, and we shall
starve to death.'
" 'It is no harder,' said Joe, 'to starve
through lack of popularity than
through excess of it. We have al
ready been brought to ruin by the
latter means; we may as well try the
former for a change.'
"The second day after Joe got set
tled in his little shop he went to a
down-town market and bought five
bushels of speckled apples and oranges
and seventeen pounds of stale candy.
He intended to sell all that truck at
regular prices, but in the afternoon
when he was out his wife noticed its
unsound condition ami gave it away
to the children of the neighborhood.
With the exception of a few cases of
cholera morbus, which the parents at
tributed to causes other than the gen
erosity of Joe's wife, the youngsters
pulled through "without any serious
aches and pains, and from that day
Joe was solid with the old folks.
"A week later several of the men
whose pocketbooks had been spared
many recent raids for stray pennies on
account of the free gorging of their
offspring met in the shop under Joe's
store and discussed plans for showing
Joe how much they thought of him.
They finally agreed upon a way. The
next morning a committee of three
called and told Joe what they proposed
doing.
" 'As an evidence of our apprecia
tion of you,' said the spokesman, 'we
have decided that all the boys born in
this vicinity during the next two years
shall be called Joseph Webster.'
"Joe fell over in a heap against the
Swiss cheese. 'Good Lord!' he said.
"Joe's way of taking their announce
ment did not exactly appeal to the
committee. 'You do not seem pleased,'
they said.
" 'Oh, yes, I am,' replied Joe. 'I am
overcome with emotion. I appreciate
your appreciation very much.'
"And then, even though Joe knew
he was making a fool of himself, his
natural gratitude and generosity got
the best of his common sense and he
made another rash promise. 'It is very
sweet of you to honor me so,' he said.
'Of course I will reciprocate. "I will
give to the little Joseph Websters a
christening present of $2 a head.'
"The committee blessed Joe and went
away. The next day they began to
import kids. Never had Joe seen boys
come to town in such overwhelming
numbers. They arrived in shoals. Just
as soon as people got wind that the
stork was coming round they moved
into that neighborhood just to devil
Joe. But he stood all the' imposition,
and good-naturedly 'gave up a two
dollar bill at each christening till some
.people down on Amsterdam avenue be
gan to ring in girls on him by calling
them JosepTia. Then he thought it
time to kick.
" 'No more of this namesake non
sense for me,' he said. 'I am going to
put a stop to it.' ' '
"'How?' asked his wife.
" 'Never, you. mind,' said Joe. 'I will
fix that all right.'
"In the afternoon Joe called on a
lawyer" named Parks. T want to
change my name,' said Joe.
'"Parks disapproved, on principle, cf
his clients changing their names.
Usually he tried to argue them out of
the notion.. He tried to argue Joe
Webster out of it.
" 'Why aren't you satisfied with your
name?' he said. 'Webster is a great
name in history a name to be proud
of. Best of all, 'it is easily remem
bered, and nobody need ever lose an
opportunity to do you a favor on ac
count of being unable to recall your
name.'
"Webster doubled up his fist as if
he had half a mind to knock Parks
down. It was a formidable fist and
the lawyer flinched. Joe forced a
pacificatory smile. 'Never mind,' he
said. 'You are in no danger. Whon
you learn the facts yon will no longer
insist that the euphony and the un
forgetability of the name of Webster
are good things.'
"Then Joe gave Parks the facts.
EVen though a lawyer, Parks sympa
thized. 'What do you want to call
yourself?' he asked.
" 'Mclancthon Gabrilowithzski,' said
Joe. 'I don't think they will get on to
that without a good deal of trouble.'
"'No,' said Tarks, 'they won't, but
I am afraid there are legal difficulties
in the way of your adopting. a new
name at present. When did your con
tract to pay the two-dollar christening
bills go into effect?'
" 'Eighteen months ago,' said Joe.
"'It has still half a year to run,'
said Parks. 'You are under obligation
to pay the bills for that length of
time. If you change your name and
try to shirk your responsibility on the
ground that your name is not Webster,
but Gabrilowitzski they can bring suit
against you on the ground of taking
a new name while wound up in finan
cial entanglements and can put you
In jail.'
"'Yery well,' said Joe, I will go to
jail. Not another cent of christening
money will I pay. I have already been
mulcted for baptismal offerings to 123
small boys, and I would rather lie in
jail than set the rest of them up for
life.'
"Joe got his name changed and paint
ed a new sign on his windows and
awning. When he began to stand on
his rights the parents of the would-be
Joseph Websters went to law. They
proved, as Parks had prophesied, that
Joe had gained the name of Gabrilo
witzski under false representations,
and he was sent to jail. Fortunately,
his time is up and he is free again.
He has started in business under his
new name, and I think the admirer
who calls his boy by that unmanage
able combination of consonants will
deserve a present."
The bald-headed man looked sad.
"I do not wish to go to jail," he said.
"I think I shall buy the twenty-one
birthday presents." New York Times.
Art of Pleasing.
The art of pleasing consists In mak
ing our daily lives agreeable to others
as well as to ourselves, says the Cath
olic Mirror. To throw a grain of the
Idea and of poetry into our surround
ings is to make them less commonplace
and more congenial. If a woman has
the tact of making others comfortable
then she is endowed with the gift of
making life happy. The gracious wom
an shines through a collection of beau
tiful qualities. She not only pleases
the eye by her outward air of fresh
ness and health,! but she charms the
mind by a characteristic worth. The
cultivation of the physical or the body,
produces the bloom of health; but quite
as nece'ssary in making a woman beau
tiful is the cultivation of the intellect,
wrhich gives her the inimitable attrac
tion of knowledge. Then there is the
cultivation of the heart, which gives
her those gentle graces which are to
her what the perfume is to the flower.
A certain great bishop struggled
through sore difficulties without repin
ing or manifesting impatience. A
friend inquired how he could be so
cheerful under such circumstances.
"My secret," replied the old bishop,
"consists in nothing more than making
a right use of my eyes.:' His friend
asked him to explain, and the bishop
did so as follows: "In whatever state
I am, first of all I look up to Heaven,
and remember that my principal busi
ness here is to get there; I then look
down upon the earth, and call to mind
how small a place I shall occupy in it
wher I am dead and buried. I then
loo1, abroad into the wrorld and ob
s&, ve what multitudes there are who
are in all respects more happy than
myself. Thus I learn where true hap
piness is placed, where all cares must
end, and what little reason I have to
repine or complain."
Education in the East.
The woman question is agitatlng the
far East. A new book by Kasem
Ameen, a learned Mohammedan jurist,
is the subject of spirited discussion in
Mohammedan circles. The author ad
vocates giving girls a fair elementary
education; he would protect her from
being divorced from her husband for
slight causes, or no cause at all; he
would check polygamy; he would abol
ish the veil, not all at once, but grad
ually, and would bring women in con
tact with the outside world. Ameen's
book is violently opposed by the con
servative element, which includes the
majority of the women themselves.
Certain matrons have been reported
as declaring that they would commit
suicide rather than have the degrada
tion of an education thrust upon them,
and the few bold spirits among the
women who have dared to express
themselves in favor of the reforms
have been denounced in strongest
terms. As for the men, they are able
to sit back and exclaim triumphantly:
"When the majority of women want
to learn to read, they will do it. The
few have no right to thrust these unheard-of
innovations on the repre
sentative members of their sex."
Has a "Wonderful Timepiece.
One of the most wonderful watches
in the world is that owned and made
by Major Dopping-TIepcnstal, of the
Royal Engineers. It is a comparative
ly small watch, not much bigger than
an ordinary lever, but it performs a
variety of services in addition to tell
ing the time. It rings an alarm bell
in the morning to wake its owner,
then it proceeds to light a spirit lamp
and boil a kettle of water, and finally
pours the boiling water into a small
teapot. The Prince of Wales witnessed
the wonderful performance of this
watch and partook of a cup of tea
which it made for his royal highness.
Finest of Marine Aquaria.
The new physiological laboratory
and marine aquarium just completed
for Trofessor Jacques Loeb at the Uni
versity of California is regarded by
experts as the finest of its kind In the
world. Rudolph Sprcckles gave $25,-
000 for the building, and no expeuw
has been snared in lu eauloment.
DEPRESSING.
'Tis wrong to chide the man who makes
A tedious display
Of language when he vainly tries
To say his little say. ;
Though turgid words are piled on high
With industry intense,
Until they build a barricade
Which quite conceals the sense,
You should not wear a sneering smile '
Nor gaze with scornful eyes;
A suirit of true charity
Would bid you sympathize.
To read the thing is very hard
And yet 'tis not the Avorst;
Consider what a fate 'twould be
To have to think it first!
Xesrs
Madge "Nellie says she is twenty
four." Marjory "Yes; twenty-four
marked down from thirty-nine."
Judge.
"I see Smith takes five minutes for
lunch." "Oh, j-es! Smith has been out
of active business for some little time,
now." Puck.
"A street car killed eighteen sheep
Sunday." "Yes, but all the end-seat
hogs are still alive." Cincinnati Com
mercial Tribune.
We pray for sun or rain, and fret
And disapprove the weather's state.
Although we know full well we'll get
The kind we want if we'll but wait.
Washington Star.
Little Girl (watching her mother fix
ing hatpins through her hat) "When
will I be old enough, mummy, to have
holes made in my head to keep my hat
on?" runch.
"Your paw ever whip you?" asked
Muggsy. "Sure," replied Swipsey, "but
I don't mind it." "Why not?" "He
ain't never said: 'My son, this hurts
me more than it does you.' "Cincin
nati Commercial-Tribune.
Indignant Citizen "Say, youngster.
If you don't put away that toy pistol
I'll report you to the policeman in the
next block." The Youngster "Huh!
You'll git a punch in de snoot if ye do.
He's my dad." Chicago Tribune.
There's a girl I'd like to hug her,
For she's 'surely "it."
She is like the grocer's sugar,
Sweet and full of grit!
Philadelphia Record.
A little girl was asked to write an es
say about man. The following was her
composition: "Man is a funny animal.
He has eyes to see with, hands to feel
with, and is split up the middle and
walks on the split ends." Glasgow
Times.
"Do you believe in reincarnation?"
said the man with dark glasses. "I
don't know," answered Mr. Cumrox
uneasily; "you see, when we give a
party mother and the girls always look
after the floral decorations." Wash
ington Star.
"You say you favor divorce?"
"Well," answered the theatrical mana
ger, "I don't exactly say I favor it, but
if there were no such thing as divorce
what would we do for heroines in so
ciety dramas or for actresses to play
the parts?" Washington Star.
Miss Bragg "And when he gave me
the ring he said: 'There Is only one
woman in the world worthy to wear...
this diamond, and that's you,' I thought?
that very flattering." Miss Speitz
"Yes, they do say that imitation is the
sincerest flattery." Philadelphia Press.
"No, Mr. Wooster," said the frijid
maid with the imported complexion,
"it can never be. I'm satisfied I would
not make a good wife for a poor man."
'T guess that's the unadulterated
truth," rejointed the young man, "but
you will undoubtedly make a poor wife
for some good man." Chicago News.
"I should like to know," asked the
parent, who had a son in need of some
further education, "what is the course
at your college?" "The usual half-mile
course of cinders and all that sort of
thing, you know," absent miudedly re
plied th president of the great Institu
tion. Philadelphia Press.
A Itecord in Xuwing.
At the village of Montroix. Tiiy-dc-Dome,
France, live two old women,
mother and daughter, who have nursed
140 babies without losing a single one.
The mother was born in 1S0T and the
daughter in 1S2S. The local council
has supported an application on their
behalf for the Motyon prize, which is
awarded to candidates who can give
proof of having done specially good
service to the human race.