X:'-.-: ."-.V ,V ' : I Y
. "Z . f
V
.
Yo'ar, la Advance.
"FOR GOD, FOR COUNTRY AND FOR TRUTH. "
: ,yQt. X VII.
PLYMOUTH, N, C. JFR1DAY SEPTEMBER 28, 1906.
NO. 20
-1$
n
WELL-ENOUGH.
jpoun in the valley of "Well j'.nongh" men are careless and jovous and free;
ll.ey toil an1 they eat and they -love a bit, and they grow old happily;
iVVhile (JTi m the hazy dwtanee gleam the peaks of the unknown;. Faine,"
Ami non.thiit hnj. traveled that diHioult stnep can enter the valley auin.
The way, is o'er r
rny, in o'er rooks, sharp and-jagged and'cruol; through fierce heat, with a dead
ening Ihn-st; '
nil
(? ,(ie Water firms Conl t.-ir lulr-u- in fl-io tii.,t',.c f tV, ,..,.!,.,. t.: :
lion Ijt-loMjfS, all in vain, tor a friendly hand-clasp, for the smiles that w
mid tuuej.. V4 . t .
Bui he fn'aj-'fiot lurn back, i&he struggles aloag, , wjtb he joy of achicv
And at last ol long journey! qo torn hands and feet, and face drawn and wrinkled'
wjTii juiinj .
II.--slaiiflH at the 'summit of great desire, to dwell on his priceless gain
And (tl,nah. the sadness of heart-break! was not that 'a man s c-ry'of woe
l or he longs to. return to the land. h Iras lost-to the 'Well-Knough" valley below.
Cracc K. Bostwick, in XeW York Tribune.
ANOXJTr0F-SCSHOOL LESSON
. By HILDA
4 S5-?SSSSSSCi$S::SS$S
"I think old Mr. Wiaton is too par- I it's fiftoor, mlr,,. ,
. it i . - - i
ticiuar roftniy trse," said Mark Car
ney, throwing his cap pn a chair and
hastening to the supper table. "Ev
er.vthinphato be-done his waj', and
it's always Uie longest way, too.."
"What is' the matter, Mark?" in-
quired-Lip; father. ."I thought" you
liked the place very mucl." .
"I do.xpdpai tut" it seems so un
reason abjieto ,do things- the inds't
tedious way when it,. don't matt.er;
how .they're done."
"Hr- WJ'wqpi Iays for. ..your time-
xiii t o ciocK every evening, and has
a right to say what you shall do and
how. You -would not make 'a soo3'
soldier, Marie, for the first .duty pf
.an t-.ni;st6?(i mamfs lb obey without
questioning. I must gatphtcago on
the 7.30 train and haven't time now
fc talk aboufc.; ycHir -W;drk bit y6u
must give satisfaction if yo.u,.QXflct
:to keep the place. Be a good boy
and mmdj.ypux mother. Rememb'er,
there are four or five boys forevery
Ilaej, an'fl Mr.'wfntbn can ""easily
1
find one to, fill yours if-.you (Kjn't
suit."
Mr. Carney's words set his son to
thinking, and he fni$hed his supper
in silence ' but when the evening
lamp shontf -down'bn'lh"e- pile ' of'
school books., he, had , brought, home
with him, fytajk broke out again:
"I might have had all ,trhes6 prob
lems worked to'Jre hiUjt .Hoea Go
I'ti. i i u iai auutiL ma um uai l cio.
"Don't you think it very impolite
to criticise a gentleman of sixty?"
Inquired Mrs. Carney, reprovingly. t
"A ksji fwel'reshtivfla1 Rnow'hetter,'
and . I was sure my son did till I
heard, him at-the'tabba this eveifeg."
he; is nreamna.
ble. f dofi,'t'saythat o be' impolite,
but 'onlyto let. you know how 'he
makes me work. Every afternoon
this week I've been piling old barrels
in th sto'rerodV When there were
noi errands, to -do, and MyWinten
it-niJuQ any difference "so" they're oiit
of the "way! Once' or twice a year a
huckster from a little town(comes to
buy theniito.'ship lu.tep andJroduct,
in. FrtfdJSiltrilSgiVs' lie'sTbranky
about evbr.y.tiilng;-- and' 'no one can
please him."
"Was Fred in the storeroom?- I
thought Mr. Winton's rules forbade
peojile .lining around talkiug to"ttie.
clerks."- ; - " f'"
"II" wasn't "insicr-ef He aut stood
atj the. door arid "talked awhile. Be
sides, Mr. Vintctn(i3. ;qut of town , to
ayatrd wurUh''t Mrave 'seen him if
he had'eoraof ini though I'tiMn't asV
him.", i .j. ,-, ; ; '' , '
"Did you, arrange the barrels as
, ',wm,&tht.x&llyi; '",Tle"asM, to. i
take ve.tihin,fTonv one side of the
storeroom .and jplle he ..barrels in
tiers along'thie wail, but there were
some boxes there the same height as
the barrels, so I let themv stay.' I ;
suppose I could ha v-crowded them
closer together, bu,t "thev Btaclf-looks;:
all right from th-but'side.1 ite won't
1) around wheir-the mifti 'loads them
up, so it don'tilaakenyHferfce.
it would have. taken nattter whole'
evening to put;,them in he .said
nd he'll think Tj5'a.w!lf1woilWr
when ne geis nau. juu -omu iih
done." y Z"
"What if he asks you about.it?,
asked Mrs. Carney. Her son's care
less ways had long been a source of
worry to hlanidiAMrsfS' irt ithei'hope
of haviiecgrEepfced Vnat."She al
lowed hhii to. work ift, theJisrp...q (
amourAVAUTltfng-id "reasoning had
been able to convineiinrof-'tlbi ffari-'
ger of ,frmnJgiphQl-, -iHUits. la
youth. .' l --s ;.v'
So fear of that," said Maik.on
fldentl,'V''vK.w'orked' w"-ttSre 'six
nioiitas,' nudIujkJsit.belhJ'.3 he-'tf been
in the storeroom more than twice.
He's forgotten all about them by this
time, I suppose.
t'l ca
ference
tor
4--. A
rels away instead of three, wHyt.
II l.llV C I-. -i '
might as well do it. .was it such a
harfd task?t
'No, ensy as anything, but. you
seJ -when I'm in the store waiting for
erInds to do I work my problems for
r next day. I have to sit on a
?tooI at the cashier's desk where the
;-rii caa call t4",iae, aad sometis
.n't see wh it..mkes,)iy 6-.;
to yoif w;i4Wte.-t ife.
your time, i?J.f v&gjg--
accursed,
ere ready
enient id"
t
RICHMOND.
Ml
"'kV'" muiuica ufLWHPn if
minutes between 1nht
Can"t you help me 'a little to-night,
mamma? It's 8 o'clock and I've only
worked two. They are so hard and
long."
Mark looked up in surprise when
his mother began swiftly working
out of the long problems, only say
ing -
. "It -is, rather late. You take the
third, and I';i try the fourth."
'ilt -was; the-first time Mrs. Carney
had: ever worked. OHt a problem for
nim) so it was no wonder Mark was'
astonished. She was always willing
sto, explain and lend a helping hand
. , U L ' J rxs i ,
iu tiiw uimcuiE parts, put never solved
them outright for him. She thought
it encouraged cheating to do theJ
work that belonged to some one else,
and always kept Mark at his tasks
till all were mastered.
"Did you get the third?" she in
quired half, an hour- later. "Here
are the fifth and sisth.- How many
are there in the lesson?""
i "But, mamma, this isn't the way
Miss Fillmore, makes us work them.
'.I cp.n't copy them on my paper for
to-morrow.
"I' don't seewhy not," said Mrs.
Canrey,, without looking up. "There
are several methods of solving these
problems, and I pjed the shortest
pne.. The answer- is correct, and that
is . the Htecessary thing. Where is
'the rest: -of the eighth written out?'
It seems to be all mixed up, o'r I
can't find it," and she turned the
papers with an abstracted air.
.-. "aviiss Fillnrore says" We" must use J
the long way for the present, and
whence am older thshort1!cuts
a,. . . ..af.v.r.-i.. . &?
ciioe mm raiiy to s.: irm.so
sorry I'an'have these; for I w'anted
a good l everage this month. If our
averjges are high for the term, we
wonj have to be examined." .
"cist vrite your nam; at the op
of my sheets and . hand ..then. ii,"
suggested Mrs. Carney. -i?'Missf' Fill
more will probably' never look farther
than the answers, and you will get
your high grade very easily. .1 won
der why she is' s.o particular about
mtljbds."v:.Vl; V 5 '
. ji'l.tee what' you.re trying to do,
ihamma," said MaTk suddenly. "You
are showing me where I. was wrong
about the barrels this afternoon. x I
ought to have.put them up as Mr.
Winton said, without grumbling or
wpndeYing.why." . .
- "You 'have, guessed it exactly,
Mtrk.: One of the greatest .faults
children have-is the idea that they
know more than blder people. I
am glad you can see why. my prob
lems calinot be given to Miss rili
more, even if you copy them. Her
method is not the shortest one, but
is the best for beginners. What tort
of work would be done in school if
each pupil did the work as he pleaded
and was counted perfect if he could
get the correct answer to his prob
lems reeardless of method? It is the
'acSf .way. ' vhu8lnes3, and those who
rise.from low to'biKhe"rxDlace8 are the
people whdobey orders Txactly as if
they were soldiers?" .
.j'I'm 'forry Ivwxrried yoii, mam-
mlk" sid .Mark, Tift.' ipaahlV fashion.
-"Iy you w11exf liJLn (hi8 part to me
I'tl'-iry tc.Worlc them'' all? and when
"Mr. intonnlefe' I'll tell him
abo.ujU tgjrjFlsBy working over-tiiae..i..ca,n-traighten
them out, but j
it will take a long time."
"That pleasme. more, thap any
thing else you'' could "possibly do. I
think ife will be? the turning point pf
yo,ur Ufft:if yon- carryt out your Te
s.olve;rrfor n,o Qne can hope. to4 succeed .
wlioT'nas careless' ways," sai, Mrs.
Ca?rhey. " '''
ilt .was late that Bight' Vheh 'the.
last problem w-as worked,' Jjtiti'Mark
had his reward next; day .when -Miss
Fillmoro re'ad' out the names of the
scholar who had perfect lists, and
his was the first on the list. He
worked harder than ever that day,
an$' it tt'as.jt-Jfc! reAOllertioiy.of his
fiih grfesjViflU eled frtiita make
his way"? to MFlVin3te4i,s private- office
as soon as school was out.
,htU fcettredf;ta Mark that Mr. Win-
ton looked very stern as- he., stam
l.iered and tried to tell his story. At
last something in the old gentleman's
eyes gave him courage, and he told
all about the barrels, not sparing
himself in the least. A great weight
rolled off his mind when he said:
"Xi you'll oiily gks c a, .ciuacj.
I'll 'put th'e-rrlsts you want trem,
and then try. to show you that I don't
always shirk."
"Wh did, j:ou come and tell me
this?" asked Mr. Winfon. "Did your
conscience trouble you, or were you
afraid I niight find you out?"
"My mother showed me last night
that the only way to do things is the
right way, and while you are paying
rove for my time, your way' Is right,",
faid Mark. "I-thought Ir1dldn't make"
any difference so they were out or the
way, but I can. see jiow that I ought
to have piled; them --as you said with
out thinking abopt..your reason for
doing it that jvv'aj;. VI Jhop.you will let
riie work aftev. the store closes every
night till they are all in place."
- "That's the :irigU spirit, my boy.
Tell your mother' I "am proud to have
her son in my store. She , used to
play with my little girls years ago,
and I have never forgotten her frank,
winning ways," said Mr. Winton.
"Now, about those barrels. You nifty
begin this evening and work an hour
each night till they are in order."
"Thank you, sir," said Mark, heart
ily. "I wonder why I always thought
he was unreasonable," he thought to
himself as. he left the store an hour
later than usual, but wkh a light
heart. "I expected he'd fire me right
away."
"How many barrels? "asked a vice
a week later, as Mark proudly plac'ed
the last one against the wall. He
had been working very swiftly to get
through, but there were no vacant
spaces among them.
Mark ran his eye over the orderly
pile and made a quick calculation.
"One hundred and fifty-six," came !
the ready response.
"Right, and now. do , ybu "see why
they must be in order? The man
who buys them usually comes on our
busiest days, and it is necessary that
we know how
many there' are ,In-
stantly.
It is likely he will be h$rse
next Saturday, and you can easily see
how much work your carelessness
would have caused. We had one boy
who" stored tnem away qyer some
boxes and barrels of salt, and the
wagons had to be unloaded to count
them, as they ran short at the last
minute."
"I'm yerjv glad that will not hap
pen this-time," said Mark, wit:i a
sigh of relief.
"I am very glad, too," said Mr.
Winton. s "Take your mother's advice
and remember itpays in , the end to
be strictly .honest. By the way, are
you thinking cf giving up your place
Fr.$d . Miller said 'Vou were,." and ap
plied feJr it last week.a I told him' I
iypil.aQt -promise tilF'I had "heard
from you about it." .- -...
"Jdpn't wjmt.tor,give it up if you
are sat.isJEJed,.. wij,Jj4m.e." .said Mark,
tRinking'bf how Fred.had, encouraged
him to8 .yolt nis tasks. "I wmt tt
prove that I. can obey orders."
it -was a long time before Mark
conquered his habit of grumbling
over his .tasks,, but in time the good
habits becapae as fixed as the bac"
ones "hart been. Every time ht
thought his- employer unreasonable
he thought of the barrels, and tried
to rememheBvthat he must not expect
to "know the reason. for everything h
had to do.
"What do you-think, mother?" he
said laughingly, as-he came in from
work several vears later. . "I. found a
boy piling up barrels in the store
room just as I did when I was new at
the business."
"-What did you do?" inquired Mrs.
Carney.
"Told him my experience," said
the tall youth, promptly. "He took
my little lecture good naturediy and
began over -again. How bumpnoua
and important-I must have acteSj
when I was hia age!
"Thatlseema a lone time ago, and
now you are one of the "beet-clerks
they have,'" said Mrs. Carney, proud
ly. "Xts. it ia. true;, she went on, as
Mark brotestedwiithivery ;red cheeks
aeains thls statement1. "Mr?: Win-'
ton tbid' me so -yesterday, and saye
you will' have a still better place' as
soon' as you hae..fl,n4Bh.ed. school. .1
am suVe.iterped' you, very much to
hkve .-ip wofKftVH'neothers had
gine'-home, even if it seemed hard
jJsttfr;. - r-'-
"It helps meyet, mother. I never
go into -tfie ' storeroom that I don't
think of nd;"f eel, grateful to' ybu
and Mr. Wincif - It makes me have
more natrence-' WSth- boys younger
than I'aih, too, for some one had to
have lqt of p'at'fejlce with me and
does yei?" said Ma$k", stooping to kiss.
his mother. Zion's:-Herald.
1 5
Landlord's Share.. .
The !T:irki3h bey landlord in Mace
donia '; gets half the farmer's pro
duce. "Every village supports a num
ber of;-Turkish policemen, who1 are
really rpar'asit'es, the average house
hold pa:y,ig them $6.25 out. of. an
income Qf- $50 not for protection,
but fork; precarious immunity fror
outraged-
.Vvfe Jo Have a loi'
Thomas" Eatley Aldrich, comment
ing bn'upon the trials of Job, re
marled that the only proper place tf
have a boil was between "John" and
"O'Reilly." Boston Herald.
ADDRESS TO PEOPLE
Governor of North Carolina Is
Trying to Suppress Lynching
SAYS LAW MUST BE RESPECTED
Chief Executive of the State Calls Up-
on Good Citizens to Uphold the
Strong Arm of the Iaw and. Writes
Specific Instructions to Sheriffs ind
National Guard Officers Expresses
Confidence in Officers, Press and
People.
Kalei-h, X. C, Special. Hon SX. B.
Gleim Governor of North Carolina,'
has taken a vigorous stand to put
down the mob spirit in his 'Statev
To this errd he lfci.s. just issued the
following-: '' ''t'-
"To the People 'of North Carolina,
Greeting:
Up until a few weeks ago and for
four years, our Slate was blessed
.with law and order canjd- peace ,and
plenty Veigned. Now, a few lawless
men. in three instances, have taken
tire law into their own hands and by
violence and .with; strong hands have
overthrown the l-w, and wilfully and'
deliberately conimitced murder by
lynching persons' confined in jail. In"
none of these instances was there the
slightest excuse for these acts, for in
all cases special terms have, been or
dered and in one case the court was
actually sitting and trying the pris
onei's. Such acts breed contempt, of
law, brinino' the courts iuto dire
pute, and put a blot on the good name
of, the State. To stop these disgrace
ful occurrences and to ' protect all
prisoners, no matter who they are, 1
have issued the following; .order to
all the sheriffs of the State, and to
those in command of the State troops :
To the Sheriff of
conntyj
North Carbjina :
In the future,--whenever any crime
is committed in your eoiiri rVy uVe ev
ery means-in your power'to arrqst the
offenders and bring the!! .to triaj. Af
ter their arrest and confinement w
your jail, if youthefli'-Tof-fcny thread
of. rumors of vioreticfc, you will at'
once notify me, jrivintr all facts, to
the. end that I may take such steps as
to me iseum expedient. I also hereby
direct 3-011 to notify the captain of
the Vieaiest mifi'tary .company of said
rumor .and rordei-him to "bo in'.-read i
nes, to aid you in ease of 'heed. You
also have the' power tp summon, a.ijd
arm all cilieus as a psse. .comitalus.
If, after". this, violence is attempted.
I hereby- command 3-011 to-order out
the military company and the posse
and have tl'.em-armed and ready for
duty. You will then make proclama
tion and order all crowds about your
jail or attempting to seize your pris
oners to at once disperse telling
them ' if-' they refuse, you will use
force' and "their injury will he on their
own heads. .Use every jKjaceful means
in j'onr-jmwer to disperse the crowds,
without using force, but if they still
refuse to leave, and continue their
threats and' unlawful acts, use force
sufficient to disperse them, even if
killing- be necessarv. You will like-
;wis arrest and put in jail-all. such
persons enffasred in said mob to the
end that they may be prosecuted and
punished according to law. I , have
ffconfldene'e in the intergrity of!', the
.01 officers and count on fhei;X!o-
uperauon wun me in suppressing .all
crime.
i Herein: fail not but obey thisdr-
ff : i-
Hder.
R. B. GLENNy
-, ... Governor.
,To Captain
, Company
t'. t
North Carolina National Guard.:
Sir: Hereafter in case at any jime
you-'h(ear of an tfttmpt at viole.iice.
by mob' law,' yof'x?(! irereby coift
manded to reporUjihe- facts to me,
ahdValso lfotify the slierjff of the
coiwty, where, the violence is "threat-,
ened, of 3-ourJrcadiness tb' tender him
your services. In the event you are
ordered out by the sheriff,, you are:
hereby commanded to obey his lawy '
ful orders. Attsmpt nonviolence &$
long as there is a chance to enforce
order .peacefully. "lf!i'h sheriff, al
ter -ordering the . crowd to.- disperse,,
ary'l. ,the'' refuse, orders 30U to fire,'.'
do so. A rest al It he mob you can
and deliver them to the sheriff, and
continue to guard and protect the jail,
hutil you are relieved. Do notLuii
rash, but in every way possible ;i.l
the civil authorities in sunpro-iii :
mob law. I have co5ifiue"nci M" the
willingness ami ahilh r'ot"tlie' military
to carry out this order. This is a gen
eral order, in force now and hero'at--1
ter until countermanded, and of it
j'Oifc-xvill take notice and act accord
y I R. B. GLENN,
4 0 iud Comander in px'
The aboVe orders show mv desire
kti preservftVlaw and to protect the
tetate, iut -even these efforts 'will be
futile unless all good citizens 'of the
State .will, aid iri thorn. Law-abiding
people should keep-out of the mob.
render it no assistance or sympathy
directly or indirectly, use every ef
fort in:their power to get it to dis
perse and should willingly help-tUe
officers in the discharge of their duty.
Remember every effort will always
in ?oqf.v SQApsiusq) ;nd S-.iBOjq
-mb s.ujasuiatn aiuo)oq 'op
A"aqj iioq.v.)UB 'spucq uao .uaqj o;ut
avb aqj Suiib4 Qdosd aqj oj asnoxa
jo Avopaqs oit; aq yea. a.taqj aaojoaaq
puc 'p.iap.io'oq ijav sm.i .fpaads pne
onjpuu jsouoq a.ie sa.o'pnf. .uiq -aat;
-snf ii'uipB.i.r;ap snqoj 'sajjjRd n2
aq isuiiul oj padopu aq aajnos
-ox lA.ia.va sjauuBq.) jado.id qano.tq;'
tiAvou?i apsiu si m'i piut Ajup pi
Kiraq; op o ibj sai.iuf piiB si.uo.) aq;
31 piiB 'avbj ipuA jo(-paf?u 011 'aioj
-a.i'aq'j 'st a.iaqx ?;auiu.jiinnioa' oqAv
suosaail jB Li iniu'sa-UB 'oj apBin aq
paie .of legal protection and must be
dealt with as a mob . and suppressed
by use of needed.- force, even though
carried to the utmost extent.
The newspapers with their means
of hearing and dissinating the nws.
can greatly aid in warning of ::danger,"
thus repressing erjine. 'l ask- of the
papers of the State, tlaily and week
ly, to publish this address, and, to
write strong editorials callinir on .their
people to assist in maintaining the
law. I have- confidence in the people
: and the press, the officials, both civil
and military, and therefore call on
them to help me in 1113' efforts to
maintain peace and quiet and forever
to prevent such disgraeerul scenes
as v have just pased through
scenes which reflect on our people,
giving us the name 0 falw-breakers,
which the overwhelming majority of
the people don ot deserve, and in
juring ourgood State 'vi every sense,
materially, educationally and moralA
ly. ' - , .
Living in Raleigh, bffe'n far from
the scene of trouble, I can only act
through agents, and in person when I
can arrive 'on' the scene, so again I
call on all good citizens, civil and
military, who love their tSate, who de
sire to. protect its fair name, to give
-me both their physiciand moral sup
port,, and if mortal man can accom
plish such-;a end, I- shaft-anTl wIrl
enforce, the. lays? and protect "111 r citi
zens. Respectfully.
, R..B. GLENN,
mj . .GovdWuori
AMERICAN JEWEL CUTTING.
Niw.vEffects Obtained with'the Opal
.and Fresh 'Watar Pearl. '
They say that-the .Greeks first de
veloped the art of cutting cameos,
. and making material of one hue stand
but in relief against a background of
another! Before 'them the Chaldeans
had practised the trick of carving
tiny figures out of agate and carne
Han. But is Is asserted that no great
progress" was made by jewellers and
lapidaries, except fit cutting diamonds
and kindred gems in symmetrical
shapes, until the present day.
Referring to the-delicate tints that
are- iojund in the fresh water pearl
and- the opal,-, the Washington Post
declares that a new ;-era. has been in
Itiated. With only a little- skill and
taste hitherto unsuspected effects
are obtained. By way -oMlllustr'atlon.
that journal describes a bit 'of work
sold at the capital a few weeks jago.
Originally It had been an' opal about
an Inch and. a half long by an-inch In
brtoadth. Dividing rthe stone diagon
ally, one section presented an opa)
in all. its purity and reflecting all; the
colors of the rainbow; while-the .other
half was delicate flesh-colored matrix.
Tfee old-time Jeweler would- have split
off the opal, .polished : it down for a
ring, and thrown -the; matrix, away,
(but not. so with? the modern - fitbhe'
worker. FVom'the matrl-he carved'
the 1 head, neck and shoulders of fa'
beautiful woman, -while the portionTof.
pure opal ' he etched into a mass of
hair and curls, falling In, cjpfusion
over the neck' and shoulders. The
effect- is wonderful, and the ' semi
cameo thus produced is not to be
compared with'the" older sort.
Another section of pal and matrix,
which, when polished, bore a striking
resemblance" to 'the . wing; of some ,
gaudy tropical "beetle, was . made up
in just such, style..the. antennae and
claws, of- the insect ihelng of gold, i
studded with, diamonds; The- manner
in which opals, opal matrix and fresh
water pearls are being c-oftverled into
lilies,. . roses, crabs, . .-serpents and
moons Is someU?ios truly marvellous
Now that the art -.is, faiul vll es
tablished, there is no .telling to what
heights' it "may. soar. Imagine,0for ex
ample, a mijiiatur . garden -of lilfss
andiqses.'ihe s,tevs ttf gold.'-artiti-'
cally .shaded: withj.aJl rAanner -of al- ,
loys and eriametf , silth the flowers ot j
fresh -water fiKaVls "(Which in nearly ,
all ciases in the ' form' of a lily j
or rose), .with an opal moon rising
on. he horizon! Suclr. has actually
accomplished. " s
. by thunder;: .
Like to set an' fish, bv thunder.
When the cork goes bobbin' imdd
An the pole begins to double
An' the "crick" to bile an' bubl
Then I'm naid fur all mv trouble
But when I'm out all day a-settitf
An the cork don t git 00 wettm
An' it don't go bobbin' under,
' An' I don't git any plunder,
Then I'm purty mad, by thundei
Joe Cone, in the New York Sun.
SCIENCE VS. ART.
The Man Up the Tree "And
call yourself a chauffeur! Why.
blathering son of a push-cart, vi
did you learn?"
. "At a correspondence school; si
London Punch.
IMMEDIATE TRIAL.
Wife "You haven't seen me
Jingry yet. vvnen l get real angf
can't, speak."
Hubby "Sr tell me, dearest,
what would make you real angrv
Boston Transcript.
A WASHINGTON ' DISTIXCTI
Customer "Give me two ,yaruj
nonesty, please.
Clerk "Verry sorry,, madam, wtf
Just out of honesty; but I can
you candor, which looks just lik
and. is less expensive." Ameif
Spectator.
TESTING A NEW DOG.
Suburbanite (to visitor) "Ob,
are you? Come right in. Don't
the dog."
Visitor "But won't he bite?".
Suburbanite "That's Jupt wbf
want to see. I only bought that w
dog this morning."
THE SOCIAL LADDER,
"But
ecaler I
"Distinctly. She gets snubbed
a better class -of people each' suco
Ing season." Bystander.
UNGALLANT.
"Be good enough, Monsieur, to p
tins loms on a Inumber." ;
"Which, please?"?.
"That of my age," says the lady'
lackadaisical manner.
"But, madame, the numbers do
go beyond 3G." Le,s Annales.
AN EARLY BIRD.
1 rrocrasunation ' is a' daneet
thing in business, isn't it?" said
young 'man who is anxious to Jearnt
"I isbyuld shr fco,v answered tu
Stax.' Tou fiefn't -imnw' thorn'
tun that I 'made in'y . pile before
i-;'. ....
iuuv mrore jor, investigatloa eta
n."-r-'Washtngton Star.-
VALID OBJECTION.
"I see thjjr hAve -elected a dor
the Russian Parliament"
' "Sorry td hear if.,r
Why, what is the difference
you?"
"Difference! Thinlc f th ffi,i
who will write about that Governir
going -to the -bdwwow Public J1
ger,-- - . , ' .'.. ' .: I
BETOND THE PALE.
"Bht," says the vistor to- the f
friend, .wham 'she has not seen for ;
I years, "you will pardon my seen
presumption, yet I think I could r
gest several ways in which your ho
could be more economically manag
"Economy?" says the hostess;
some hauteur. ':"rarrdhie4 but
poitiop. n spQiety is such that we
not afford Jo s;ive money.' V-Life.
COXSTANr"DEMAXD. '
We "npproai-licd Ixne. v ..'":
"In theseprosaiu tiajVyou are !
TVuiucli in demand ns -you used to t
we ventured. ".Supjiose the deniind
four services -should- cease' altoir-'t
what would you do? Tba'kuou-'
are Mind."
"Well," replied Love, "if I am r
blind I should have no trouble i..
ting a job as government inspec t
Tuck.
' n
she is rising in the scf