VMOEVeR, BfSOADOA’i'rS those "SANDMAM STO©'£S at e isn't o’clock don't know much ABOUT MODE'C/^ KlD5 SCD "Goodness, Jane, what a kit chen!” exclaimed Mrs. Brown. "Every pot, pan and dish is dirty, the table in a perfect litter, and— Why, it will take you all night to clear things up! What have you been doing?” "Sure, mum,” explained Jane, "the young ladies has just been showing me how they bile a perta ter at their cookery school!” "No, 1 know nothing about mus ic.” “All you have to do is jangle this cowbell.” "But suppose 1 come in at the wrong place?” “You can't do that in jazz." Mrs. Snap—Do I look all right in my new dress, dear? Mr. Snap—Better get in a little farther, if there’s room. "Our minister is so good that he won’t even perform a marriage ceremony.’ “What’s that got to do with his being good?” "He says his conscience won t let him participate in any games of chance.” "Mother,” said Clcopatoa, “this life doesn't appeal t® me. 1 want to be a stenographer.” "Don't be silly, chdd,” retorted Mrs. Ptolemy. "Chewing gum has not been invented yet. ' “Girls were harder to kiss in your day, weren’t they, grandpa?” "Mabbe, mabbe,” ventured the old gentleman, "but it wasn t so blame dangerous. The old parlor sofa wouldn’t smash into a tree a bcu: that time.” "Little Johnny wants to be an angel,” said the fond mother, "Is not that cute?” "I sec,” said the father, who knew more or less, “his thoughts are on chorus girls already. Visitor—d ou must have been visited by a bad hurricane iorm the appearance of your buildings. Farmer—No; I rented my farm last month to a movie concern to make a five-reel comedy. The old offender volubly protest ed his innocence. But the judge was not convinced. "I wouldn't believe you,,, he said, “if you swore on a dozen Bibles. Whatever you said, I d believe the opposite to be true.’ Then the prisoner said: "Your worship, I plead guilty. As the cab rolled through the dark streets muffled shrieks and sounds of a struggle came to the ears of the driver. He stood it as long as he could, then, being a con scientious man, turned, and said with some heat: “Listen, buddy! 1 don't mind necking parties, but you can t stage a wrestling match in my cab with something half your size. I 11 not see you taking advantage of the little girl. Then the little girl said: “Poke your head where it belongs Frog-Face. How can he help it il I’m ticklish!" He was a darky on trial for mak ing whisky. “What’s your name?" asked the judge. “Joshua, suh. “Are you the Joshua that made the sun stop?" "Naw. suh—I’se the one what jn^de the moonshine.” tmr.x i jMriBMDiaiE jc.Tr;.r^ ■ri Our $ilent Salesman Advertising for this column ■ wiil be accepted at one cent per word per issue. I he first iir.e wiil always appear in heavy black type as shown below. No ad of less than twenty-five words cr its equivalent. ?R E E l TrTeT™F s< E E! To the first On - Hundred per sons trading $1,00 or more in cash at our store Saturday, July 01st we will give free a $1.00 genuine Christy Massage Bar Saferv Razor to each. Southern Hardware Company. QUICK. COURTEOUS EE8 vice is the secret of our ever increasing patronage. If you are not a'ready among our eus be glad to tomers we would have you make us G. Arps, druggist a glad visit. E. as a hi ikdek 'BE QUfc litv of service we lender we< ! ask you to notice how busy our barbers are kept, and how sa isfied our customers always! are. Give us one trial and you j I will become a regular customer ! j here. Swain and Sexton. AT r3 ft - . , M .-** * C lift ROC US Variety Store are from 5c to £2.85, bed spreads, pillow cases, etc. O- N. T. em broidery cotton. 3 skeins, 10c. NO MATTER WHAT VO UR humor is when you come in our store, you will certainly leave feeling line, O’Henry Drug Store. ft NEW LINE OF NOVELTY voiles at 38c. and all bathing suits reduced to an attractive price at Norman’s. YOUR VEGETABLE TROU bles are imaginary. Save time, trouble and uncertainty by coming straight hers for any thing you wisn in fresh vege tables. Grown on our own truck farm and gathered fresh daily. Plymouth Market and Grocery Company. TASTY rr* t ST sand wiches on the New Sensation machine at our fountain at all hours, pimento, swiss cheese, smoked tongue and country ham. F’u-sh daily. 10 cents each. Rexali Drug Store WHEN YOU WANT FRESH bread, rol.s, cakes and p;es! you know that we bake every day and that our products are pure and fresh. Hassell Bros. : in book 74, pag^ ana default hav ing l:een made in the payment «f the notes thereby acc red. and aanlieatioi: having 1> en made for a saieoftht said land, the mid rsigned trustee wit expose at public sale, to the highest bidder for cash, on the '4th < ay o' August, 1924, at the court house doc in Plymouth, Nor-!tAD j gaE3gK3tgEfl«aSB sgBBgffBHHsrKg -r'xtL-^tvit %*> ^sBasa^ggaaBrgaaawBn I 1 g Never before in our history as tire dealers have we been able to offer our customers | such wonderful tire “buys” as right now. Due to the great volume of tire business coming direct from car owners throughout the country—the great Firestone fac § tories have been, and are now, working at top speed building Gum-Dipped Tires P in tremendous quantities. Manufacturing costs have been lowered—crude rubber ! a ID !E li £: S' prices have been reduced — and the h* savings passed or* to car owners. Firestone Gum-Dipped Balloon Tires are k notv 20 per cent less then they veere a year ago I this time, g Take advantage cf this exceptional opper- | tunity to equip your car—right at the height j of the summer season—with these long-mileage j Gum-Dipped Tires at our new low prices. 1 Buy your tires from us and you’ll be sure of com- j plete satisfaction.—with the comfort, safety and j long mileage that only Gum-Dipping can give, j Come in today. Don’t take chances with | your old tires. 11 OLDFIELD TIKES At TBasse E&edueed Ps?2e©s 30x3li Fsb. Cl.57.80 23 x 4.40 Ba 30x3Vj Rbj.c;. tore! . .8.95 SO x 4.75 38x8% Ex.SSeCJ. Coi-d .G.S5 £3 x 4,95 21x4 S. S.Cori_15.75 20x5.23 32x4% » »>.23.35 31 x5.25 33x5 » •» .£9.50 23x6.00 oon .$11.20 ...15.60 ...16.46 ...18.15 ...19.05 ...24.10 Made in The Great Economical Firestone Factories and Carry the Standard Tire Guarantee Plymouth Filling Station, Plymouth, N. C. Buchanan Motor Co., Roper, N. C. W. D. Peal, Creswell, N. C. Columbia Garage, Columbia, N. C. AMERICANS SHOULD PRODUCE THEIR OWN RUBBER . . I WE SPECIALIZE ON | B JOB PRINTING 1 ! I I 1 i S OF ^ NEAT DESIGNS ■ ** SUBSCRIBE TO THE BEACON **