IE: FRANK
PRESS,
r.
VOLUME XIX.
FRANKLIN. N..CL WEDNESDAY. APRIL 13, 1904.
NlMliEU 15.
a-waMSJS
WHEN MA'S
Tell you what, when ma's away
We have Jolly times, I day,
When we make a glorious noise,
There's no one to sing out. "Boys,
Do lie quietl" Ami at night,
U we stay up Into, all right,
we've a plcuio every day,
At our house when ma'i away.
We don't havo to any more
Ho rape our boots clean at the door.
Ko one scolds us when wo light;
Faces washed or not, all light,
IMo one holler us to slop,
And pick up things we drop.
In the alley we cun play
With the Smiths when mu's away.
-L. M.
1
His Lady of Dreams.
By SUSAN SAYRE YARMOUTH.
She came sudenly into his sight, dis
pelling his brown study and inter
ruptiug his pipe. She stood beyond
the table, beside the door, tall and
alight, in a white gown that clung to
her arms and shoulders and rounded
waist, and swept about her feet In
heavy folds. A cross swung from her
neck by a long stiver chain, and she
wore a broad-brimmed hat with a
gauzy white veil, so her face was in
shadow. She leaned slightly towards
Asho as he clutched the arms of his
big cbaifr and sat forward in amaze
ment. "I'm the Princess Constantla Grcgo
rlous," she said gentl.
"Of of Russia?" he asked stupidly,
trying to fan away the blaze of to
baco smoke.
"There are other lands," she said in
differently. "And not so far away."
"Great Caesar!" he breathed, bewil
dered, and his pipe dropped from his
astonished fingers. With the feeling
that it was the ouly bond between him
and rationality, he stooped to pick it
up, and as he rose he struck his head
sharply against the corner of the li
brary tahle. Dizzy from the blow, be
staggered to his feet and looked tow
ards the door. She was gone, as mys
teriously as she had come. He rushed
blindly around the table and
across the room, stumbling over easy
chairs and footstools, and sending a
revolving bookcase spinning round.
The hall was brilliant after the smoky
uurary, and was it also empty. No tral
lng gownshadturnedunthecri
rugs, nor coj
It gingerly, too dazed
wV JL of more than one thing at a
imeHien bo heard bis friends cheer-
ful whistle In the hall.
f'Well, old chap," said Thurston,
ciAmlng In. "Phew! but that pipe of
ytours Is a fright! If wc don't air this
iroom before tbe muter gets into it,
'your goose Is cooked!"
"Why, what will she do?" Inquired
the other, uncertainly.
"You'll never get another bid for
Bunaay, eaiu me ursi, iiiruwing un-u
one of the windows. Gee! I didn't real
ize how rank Clssle Is getting. Retire
her, Billy, and got another. But, say,
what's the matter, old man? I left you
composing a sonnet and going to sleep
. over It. What's wrong?"
She looked down at his maligned
pipe, and then up at bis friend.
"Say, do you suppose she thought it
was rank?" be asked.
"The mater?" said Thurston puzzled,
"She hasn't been here already, has
she?- If so, we'd better go back to
night Did she wake you up?"
"No, I just dreamed it," said the
owner of the pipe, and began to feel of
his bump with a frown of pain. His
friend looked at him for a moment
curiously, and then aimed a heavy
leather cushion from the nearest Mor
ris chair at him.
'Wake up, you Idiot!" he said. "This
la no sleeping car."
"Dick, has your sister a friend visit
ing her?" he Inquired.
"No," said the other.
"Well, there was ono In here any
way," pursued Ashe.
"One what!" demanded Thurston.
"One prlrJcess," said the other. His
host surveyed him in silence for a mo
ment )
"Ashe, you're crazy!" he said at last.
"Come out and take a walk."
Mr. Wllraerdlng 'Ashe was making
fdr" himself a rather neat reputation
with readers of current magazines as
A writer of clever little occasional
Verses. Among his friends at his clubs
he was considered a good fellow, and
they cboss to assume that somewhere
he kept hidden away the person who
wrote his verses for him. His moth
r's friends approved of him be
cause he paid his calls, and he was
; chiefly famous with tbe young ladles
of his rather general acquaintance as a
master of the arts of Welsh rarebltry
and bandlnage. But no one was pre-
' pored for the almost Oriental beauty
and mysticism of his latest verses.
which appeared In one of the best of
the monthly periodicals under the
name of "My Lady of the Realms of
Dreams," and which would have done
credit to a much more ambitious poet
.than Billy Ashe. Ashe himself thought
rather well of them; he felt' that it In
- some way compensated for tbe very
' nasty knock on the head that the Lady
. had been the means of giving htm, and
that be had turned a most perplexing
. dream to very good account It was
' better than taking it to the society of
Phjralcal Research, .which Che had
thought of doing in the vividness of
his first Impression, but sis months
1 without . any further . developments,
waking or sleeping, had dulled his
keen conviction of Its psychic value.
'Meanwhile, a comfortable check from
. the magazine had seemed to take the
thing out of the province of psychio re
search. -J : I -Ashe
was a modest man, hut not too
much so to find a little lionizing quite
to his taste, and he went to afternoon
teas and cotillions with a feeling that
tomorrow would be some one else's
day, and be must 1 gather his rose
s "'
AWAY.
But somehow--! hnrdly know
'Course it's (un, as such things go,
81111, it kind of sm'Km to me
Huther lonesome like, you see,
No one round to smile or slug, ,,.
Help a fellow do a thing,
'Hplaln tbo lessons every day.
Keep us straight when nia's away.
No one here when things are blue,
Jut to tell us what to do, ,
Cheer us up aud make it light,
And talk serious like at night, -
Hear our prayers aud tip-toe round
Till we're sleeping suug aud sound. 1
Something's wrong, in work or play,
At our house, wheu ma's away.
Montgomery, in Vlck'a Family Magazine.
" 1 ! i fty .t t ;t i
J
while he might. So he entered Mrs.
Foster's long drawing room prepared
to smile as ho listened to his verses
misquoted by fair flatterers; he re
tained that serene attitude of mind
while he shook hands with Mrs. Fos
ter, and not one minute longer, For
beyond Mrs. Foster, and standing Just
outside the ring of light from a tall
lamp, was the lady of his dreams, with
her white gown that clung to her
shoulders and round waist, and flared
with heavy folds at Iter feet. This
time she wore a fan on the long,
silver chain around her neck, and she
had no bat nor veil, so Ashe could aeo
that she was regarding him with the
frankest interest from a pair of most
attractive brown eyes. He flushed with
surprise, and his remarks to Mrs. Fos
ter died on his lips. She was sot a
dream, then, his princess! A sudden
recollection of the check from the Hun
dred Years made him warm, and as
a corollary camo the realization of
his narrow escape from the Society of
Pschlc Research good heavens!
Meanwhile Mrs. Foster was saying
graciously
"So good of you to come, Mr. Ashe,
and not lo forget your old friends, now
you are such a celebrity. And to re
ward you, I am going to Introduce you
to a vory dear young friend of mlno,
Miss Gregory, who admires your poems
so much," And Ashe found himself
before his princess, while Mrs. Foster
went on fluently: "Constance, my
dear, this is Mr. Ashe," and turned to
reet another guest. All remnants ' of
self-possession vanished at the
the names, and Interrupting
expressions of de-
alntance, Ashe
ter said
startling--
that you
at all I
I awef
called
me
many mii
Mr. Ashq
"Did
he ask
my favd
and I'm!
to be
didn't el
came In
The
but her eya
"I am i
taken idea
shake of her I
"Where do '
Asbe. "When
you know when'
ThurBton's library?
"Well," sal'd Miss (
i Greg
lleved. I am so glad td :
at last take an Intelligent lntorin.
the conversation. The Thurstons' T,
brary ltn't it a fascinating place?"
"You weren't In It long enough to
find out," objected Ashe. "And do you
think It was quite kind of you to make
me bump my head?"
"Long enough! I've spent hours In
the Thurston's library," said the girl
In mock Indignation. "And I never
made you bump your bead."
"Well, perhaps, not consciously," ad
mitted Ashe, "but It was under your
spell."
Miss Gregory looked at him with a
smile beginning to show at the corners
of her mouth.
"You are certainly casting a spell
over me," she said. "Really, Mr.
Ashe, I don't know what you mean
I'm sure I never had anything to do
with your bumping your head but I'm
not sure that it would not do It good!"
"Cruel!" cried Ashe. "Well, since
you won't admit It, let's begin again.
I am very glad to meet you. Miss Greg
ory. Mrs. Foster Is too good to me.
Do you know, your face is very famil
iarhaven't I met you before?"
"Mrs. Foster has been kind to me,
too," returned Miss Gregory, prettily.
"No, Mr. Ashe, I'm sure that I would
not have forgotten it If we had met be
fore. My home Is not In New York,
and I am not here very much. . But I
have heard of you often from Mrs.
Foster, and the Thurstons In Morrls
town , and of course I have read your
verse."
"How time must clamor at your
doors to be killed!" said Ashe.
"Ah, now you are unkind to your lit-,
tie brain children!" reproached the
girl.. ,
"You have been sufficiently over-kind
to even up accounts, in mentioning
them at all,'' returned Ashe. "There,
you see, I can do tbe proper;, now, for
Heaven's sake, Miss Gregory, tell me
if I dreamed of you, or saw you that
day at Dick Thurston'?'
The girl drew hack. . , ,.(.
"I don't understand you," she Mild, a
little haughtily, and then she smiled at
his crestfallen face.
: "It can't be possible!" Insisted Ashe.
"The Princess Constantla Oregortus
and t was ass enough to ask of what!
Don't you know, Miss Gregory don't
you realize that you are My 'Lady of
Dreams?'"
' "ir said MlssGrax)ry-JMlyoiir LdJ
of oh, Hr. stake! Enmember that I
am not a resident not to, th manor
iorn, as It were. I'm Just a country
cousin from- Blnghamtop. Dsyoa
think it'a nice to make fun, of met
Constantla Gregorlua, Indeed!"" She
laughed out,' a merry lttl laugh. :
"She cornea from a land nor soar mot
far," said Ashe, guUty ot ths banality
of quoting hi own verse. Mis Greg
ory surveyed him with amusement
"This is too fine a frenzy for me,"
she announced. "Aren't you hungry,
Mr. Ashe ? Sha'n't w go in and have
something to eatl'Vl 5 . -'.
Ashe followed heir mechanically -
"Don't yon; sometimes wear a cross
on that chain T", he asked. V
"Sometimes," she answered, ' with
lifted eyebrows.
"WerenT you In Morrlstown at the
Thurstons' last' September?" he pur
sued. :-;)( --j
"Yes.' t was la Morrlstown, but only
occasionally at the Thurstona!" she re
turned. J.:-
'Then you did walk Into the library
one Sunday afternoon and tell me you
were" the'Princess tionstantl Ore-,
rlus," he said positive. ,
"Mr. Ashe!" she said reprovingly.'
"Have you. a twin sister!" asked
Ashe, desperately. "
"I am all the daughters of my
father's bouse," she said lightly, but
her eyes were dancing at the gave him
his chocolate.
"Don't you remember the painful
taking off of Sapphlra?" be Inquired
sternly. - , ,
Miss Gregory counted on her fingers.
"A princess, Constantla Qregorltts,
an astral body let me see! a dream,
and now a liar!" she said, v "Oh, fie,
Mr. Ashe!"
"I have $50 that belong to you," said
Ashe, irrelevantly.
I bog your pordon? said the girl
blankly.
By rights," asseverated Ashe, with
a nod. , "Halt of what I got for that
poem, you know. I calculated that my
thought and labor are good for half,
but you furnished the Idea, you see."
Miss Gregory sat down on the near
est chair and laughed aloud. Ashe
sipped his chocolate meditatively and
watched her.
"For a poet," she said at last, "you
are most unexpectedly practical!"
"When I've offered to share my In
como with a comparative stranger a
chimerical, elusive dream-lady at
that?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"I'm not sure about Chimeras, but I
think they were monsters of Bomo
kind," said the girl. "And your In
come Is too small to be alluring, Mr.
Ashe. If yau don't wish any more of
that chocolate, won't you have some
thing cold? No. Well, then, come
back to Mrs. Foster. I'm afraid you'll
be borrowing money of me next, to
say nothing of the way In which you
are straining your poetic fancy to find
flattering names for me." She took his
ip and turned away. Before be could
Sfjeledirponandarried
The Koreans use!
nor chairs.
Mrs. William E.
of College Point. L.
a plot on her estatl
of her dogs. - -
A strange animal,
panther, baa been
the Congo by a Bek
the soologlc&l gardJ
Football is almij
Burmah as it is In I
The natl -es play thl
kick and shoot
In the Hungarian
three girls, agod fnl
been convicted of oj
of children and brel
In search of jewels.
A press clipping b'l
Switzerland, forwardd"
ot Sorvla the other dl
uraes containing 20,00(1
lcles relating to hlmscl
A slum inspector toll
municipal commission
of the poor that on s
he had found families sll
-r-tiho parents bn the ftal
tress and a layer oi chil
The Rev. W. A. Lewis!
Vally (Pa.) Methodist 1
handy man. His church!
rebuilt, and he did the
son and carpenter work,
tied the brick and mo:
foot ladder.!
i Disreputable Ri
It is related that a Sa
Mich., farmer, who had W
apples from his cellar, nil
ling discovery of the tht
day. While crawling und.i
after a hen's nest contalnlnl
In eggs the farmer earns 1
pool ot liquid, beside whl
dead body of a large rat 4
gatfcm th farmer discover ej
pool contained the missing a
raT:'tt war Irmnd, -had- died ,
JalcohollWtY After stealing t'
the rat bad dropped them In tj
under the) barn. As they dc (
they tormed strong clde' 1
drank the. -cider and died. n
leged, of' delirium tremons
Newt,-;",' - ' ,i. '
A SEBMON -fOB SMDAT
AN ELOQUENT DISCOURSE BY THE
REV. C U PALMER, ,
-r
utjacti "Why the Blahtmas Suffer and
the Vagdly Prospar" Ju Farralta
. AflUoilons to Cwa Upta pia People
W a Character Tst. .
Kmorroir, N. Y.v- In the Bt formed
Church ef tat Comforter oa Sunday morn
ing the Rev. C. L. Palmer preached a
scholarly discourse entitled "Why - ths
Hiihteous Suffer and the Ungodly Pros
Der." He took his text from Psalm 73: 3:
For I was envious at the arrogant, when
1 saw the prosperity of the wicked, t
Too Seventy-third Paslm wss probably
eooiDosed by Asabh. who wss a pious Jew.
and one of the leaders of - the temple
.1 T I 1 , . . .
envnn. a no pnrueoiogy ua iudwqu m
dicste that he was intelligent and spiritual,
aad that ia the course of his reli&pus ax-
Jerienee .was exposed to the ravagei of
oubt. However, upon mature delibera
tion all doubt was overcome, and he be
came strong in the faith.
Ths particular problem that confused
him was why the righteous suffer and the
ungodly prosper. Why the most vicious
wimuiai sfiouia enjoy mawisj prosperity
and consecrated disciples be subletted to
suffering. If God is perfectly righttous in
Himseli, and supremely v in all His
dealings with men, why does He allow ths
ungodly to succeed end the believer to
fail? Why doss He not obliterate every
sinner and preserve every saint? Why
does He permit the godly to pass through
so many deep and raging seas of affliction?
Why in many of the Ckristless so free
from human misery! These are questions
which have been fresh In the mind of every
generation, and the only satisfactory a
swer is the one that sufficed the psalmist.
Before undertaking to develop so impor
tant a subject it is necessary that wt di
vest our minds of one possible misconcep
tion. The implication of the text is not
.that all the wicked prosper, and that all
the righteous are afflicted. It is not that
all the ungodly prosper because they are
ungodly, or that, all believers art afflicted
because they are believers. It it not trae
that all tht worldly enjoy encsett, and all
the righteous are discontented, unhappy
and unsuccessful. The psalmist was in a
pessimistic mood at tht time of writing,
and describes a condition from which he
wss eventually extricated. It is true that
some godless men and women seem to be
happy and prosperous, and that some de
voted disciples are greatly afflicted. But
it is far from the natural deduction of
ScriDture and experience that all the codlv
are unsuccessful and tbe wicked prosper
ous, though we do acknowledge that the
ancient sentiment of the text is not with
out its modern application. We still won
der why the unrighteous prosper and the
godly are afflicted.
I. WHY TIIK UNGODLY EN.TOY TEM
PORAL PROSPERITY.
We cannot deny that many worldly peo
ple have an abundance of life's blessings,
and that they appear to be quite free from
adversity. It is well known that many of
our most wealthy people seem to be indif
ferent to religion. They spend their time
and means either in business or seeking
pleasure. Our contention is that human
success or failure is not an infallible criter
ion by which we are to justify or condemn
the government of God.
It is not uncommon for godless people to
inherit property. Nor is it iuilirail frit an-
ipjjpyinpfirnnta toh "aaiaaaaMSM
stroyt tht life of hie child and tht fam
ily never recover from tht shock
- Unquestionably God, permit afflictions
to comt upon Hit people. Adversity is
required at wall as prosperity. If it were
not for the former we should Iwnma ,,.
different to the latter, and forget the
Source from whifti all . liiaaainm
Prosperity it a more severe and refined
test of haraater chin adveMitv mm nnm
hour of summer sunshine produces greater
Iadia with .itr famine is more to be en
vied than ancient Horns with her fatal
apoplexy of wealth. Better grace with
scarcity than plenty without saving salt.
We beljeve that Clod sometime sends
affliction, to bring Bis children back to
Himself. He takes away the idol of some
heart that He may be the only object of
adoration. He sweeps away houses and
lands to teach His penpte that they are
dependent on Him. Ont has excruciat
ing pain to teach him the frality of the
body and the certainty of its ultimate dis
solution, Spurgeon vced to say that many
are like dots' tope,- they only spin when
they are whipped. .
There ia a famous fairy tale in Brad
wardine that will convey to our minds the
interpretation that wt ought to apply to
tht sublime doctrine of nroridenee. A
certain hermit resolved that he would
travel from place to place until he found
some one who eould otter' a aatisfsctory
explanation of the government of God. As
he was passing along on his contemplated
journey, an annl in tbe foam -nf a mnn
joined him. The first night they lodged
at the house of a very holy man, and they
spent-their time in praising God and con
versing npon divine things. In the morn
ing when they departed the angel took
wiui mm a cup oi sona ; o:a. the second
night thev Csme to tbt home ot another
religious man by whom they were most
hospitably entertained. In the home thev
had an infant upon whom their affection
centered. When they left the next inorn
' the angel destroyed the life of ths
child. The third night they were enter
tained in a home nf frrnnt i anUl, Whn
they left the following morning the angel
killed the favorite steward. The last
night was at the home of a godless man,
to whom he irave the cim nf imM a tl,
angel left.- After the fourth night the
hermit asked the angel to explain whv he
had taken the cup and given it to another,
why he had taken two fives. He replied, I
will now explain. Tbe first man was being
ruined by his cup. so 1 took it away. Ths
second home wns more concerned in regard
iu me cnua man in tne service oi Uod.
The steward was slain to preserve the
life of hit matter whom hr ana nUnin. to
destroy. , Tbt golden cup was given to the
ungodly man becaase hit only comfort was
to be bad hare. Or ia oiber and inspired
words: "All things work together for
good." - : ) .
All ostensible prosperity is not true pros
perity. The prosperity of the world is
greatly overestimated. Some godless men
sueettd in certain particulars, but they
have not that which is worth more than
the treasures of EsvDt. Thev are noor
spiritually. They cannot purchase at the
market the one great need oi the soul,
't he sdveraitv nf the riihteous ia ako
overestimated. They do suffer, thev ex
pect to suffer and are willing to suffer if
such suffering will contribute toward justi
fication. But it is better to he n model a to
circumstances and be in the kingdom, than
to roll in wealth and be outside of it. It
is better to be in the kingdom with pain
than out of it without.
There is only one jus-, conclusion. It
it that thw government of God is per-
fectly
x ana mac we are safe in its
A child once said. I know that
1 will obtain justice because
TVf9. We know t.iat
aa.Vfc and adversity.
sOustice be- I
JADE COMES FROM CHINA
IMMEMORIALLY PRIZED AS THE
.STONE PAR EXCELLENCE.
Every Woman In the Celestial King
dom Wears at Least On Jade Orna
mentPowdered . Jade Used for
Stomachic Trouble.
With' Chinese, jade has been prised
from time immemorial is the stone
par excellence. It may be fairly stat
ed that every woman In China wears
at loast one jade ornament, which. If
not the genuine article, is at -least a
good Imitation. What the bambc.i is
to the ordinary Chinaman, providing
him as It does with almost every imag
inable article required by the social
conditions of China, that jade Is to the
connoisseur and man of refinement, if
within somewhat narrower limits. It
has been made into snuff-boxes, cups,
plates, bowls, bracelets, ear-rings,
vases, boxes, Inkstones. flutes, pestles
and .mortars, seals, ear-stoppers, scep
ters (so-called), pillows, boats, hair
pins, rings, head ornaments, paper
weights, Buddhas, human figures,
boasts, birds, fishes, etc., etc.
Now, what Is Jade? a question fre
quently heard since the siege of the le
gations at Peking. Here Is a Chinese
answer: "Jade is tho quintessence of
heaven and earth. It Is marked with
tbe dark hues of the hills, with the
blue tints of streams. It is white as
sliced lard, ted as a cock's comb, black
as pure lacquer, and yellow as a cook
ed chestnut," Some writers add a
fifth color, "crimson as rouge." Near
er, perhaps, to the mark for western
readers will be tho following details,
gathered from conversation with Prof.
Lewis of Cambridge.. The term Jado,
a? popularly employed, includes two
minerals, jadolto and nephrite. The
specific gravity of jadclto is about 3.1;
that of nephrite 2.U. Tho fusing point
of jadcite Is much lower than that of
nephrite. By tho mere process of
handling and Inspection It is Impossi
ble to tell one from the other.
Tbe Chinese, who until recent times
have known nothing of specific grav
ity, test Jado by Its hardness: "Jade Is
hard and fine and steel can do it no
Injury." Again, ".. your jade is white
S3 pig's lard, and rings whon struck
then It Is genuine. There aro so
many substances ahich resemble jade
that it Is necessary to discriminate
csrefully.
"Genuine jade Is soft looking and
glossy, as though steeped In some kind
of fat. On being Btruck It gives forth a
clear, ringing sound, like a bell, which
seems to stop and then goes on again,
dying away In the distance and gradu
ally." The Chinese classify jade ac
cording to color and provenance: "The
best kind of Jade," says one writer, "is
orange yellow; the second best is the
color oftuj "if"t; . tho next best is
obtain;
specimens from the Belurtagh moun
tains. Although much la written and
said about other kinds, I have never
seen them. From an Article by Her
bert A. Giles in the Nineteenth Century.
WILL CLEAN UP PANAMA.
Sanitary Corps to Precede, the Dig
gers Down on the isthmus.
When the senate of the United States
ratifies the Panama treaty tho army of
the United States will take Immediate
possession of the canal strip, 10 miles
wide through Panama, and exorcise
its authority over that strip, Including
the power of establishing and com
pelling the use of a complete sanitary
system. If emergencies do not com
pel this country to take possession of
the territory sooner, almost the first
troops to be despatched to the Isthmus
will be one of the largest medical corps
fully equipped which ever left any
country In time ot peace to administer
to the wants 61 living men. In other
words, profiting by the experience of
France on the Isthmus and by its own
experience in tropical climes, the
United States proposes to establish
sanitary regulations in Panama, such
as It has already put Into operation In
Cuba and the Philippines, for the safe
ty of Its Boldiors, of the laborers to be
employed in building the canal, and
of the people of Panama.
The equipment of this expedition will
include all supplies known to be ot
value to the medical profession In
tropical regions. The supply ships will
cary hospital tents, Immense quanti
ties of medical stores and last, but not
least, large supplies of mineral waters,
which the soldiery will be compelled
to use preparatory to establishing con
densing and distilling plunts on the
Istmus for furnishing a homo supply
of puro water.
Not only does the government
medical department feel assured that
It can counteract much of tho preval
ent dleeo.se upon the Isthmus by the
introduction of sanitary methods
among the people, but it Is intended
also to make merry war upon the dead
ly "mosquito, which scientists have
come to bellevo transports more
disease, or as much, at least, as any
other source. Nets will be provided
for protection, and In addition kerosene
oil In large quantities will be poured
on the stagnant lakes and ponds, es
pecially near the Inhabited places, to
effectually put an end to their ex
istence. In commenting upou the improved
methods In the army for practical
medicinal purposes tbe other day an
army officer said: "Ten years ago you
could no more make a soldier believe
that boiled or distilled water was
necessary for his good health than
you could make him believe that an
army mule could fly. Nowndays when
an order Is given to drink nothing but
pure water a soldier will hust.lvarou:
and lnconvenIencJrsjaelf a V
ci
THE BOY REVISED.
Der poy stood on der puniing dcokj
Venue all bud him had tied if
Hl letiUe dog vat still alife.
Dut nil der rest vas deadt.
Der pov looged down upon dor dog
Der doc loosed lip at him, . .
Und py der doir der poy replied:
"Hhull ve gcd oud und sviuir" ;
"No, no!" der lrtetle dog eggtclnlmed,
"I gannot svim a liikr
"tlf dot's der cbsc," der poy agreed,
"Perhaps vo'd porlder stfokl"
But py-mid-py a pig balloon
Unto der resoue came, '
Und dook der poy und dog avay
Now vuan't clot a shame? ,T V
.-
Dor moral von dls tale is dlt: .
Veu ouught upon a wreck,
Ufyou giuit svim, or fly, oj" float, -.
You're chust as safe on deokl -Baltimore
News.
, ii
JUST FOR PUN
Dentist I think I'll have to remove
the nerve. Patient Don't do that
Doc. I'm an insurance agent The
Gateway.
"How do you manage to keep coal
on hand all the time?" "I keep hons In
my cellar and they lay a ton every
day." BoBton Globe.
Muggins Is that an upright piano
next door? Bugglns Give it up. All
I know Is that It's a downright nui
sance. Philadelphia Record.
"Her marriage was a great disap
pointment to her friends." "Indeed?"
"Oh, yes. They all predicted it would
turn out unhappily, and It dldn'J
The Gael.
Rix Does your wife do much fancy ;
work? Hlx Sure thing. Why, she will
not put a porous plaster on my chest '
until she's embroidered my initials on
It. Exchange.
"Pa, what Is a model man?'' "A ,
model man, my son, is generally a very
small sample copy, or facsimile, of a
real man, and is usually made of put-,
ty." Smart Set y-
Willie Papa is going to stt-rou
marry sister. Featherstone Howafr-
you know? Willie He said that It
was better than nothing, after all.
Household Ledger.
First Citizen (Indignantly) "I am
surprised that young Longhead would
lend himself to any such Scheme. Sec
ond Citizen Lend himself. Why, man!
he was bought Judge. - '
Doctor There Is one thing mora. -Your
wlfo must not speak another -
word today. Tell her that. Patient
Husband W would you mind telling
her yourself. The Gael. . .t ,.t
Unenergetic No, Bridget, I wllL not .
give you a recommenajifca" ' J uie
lL'rOr, 'ye not bij
J