Newspapers / The Franklin Press and … / Jan. 2, 1930, edition 1 / Page 2
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.1 I 7cn:::i cf 1S37 Oatslrir; , Hcccrth cf Modern Puffers , cf Fags , (By John V. Edward) ' It was in the early fall of 1837, when the smoky days of Indian Sum-Kreat wa(is 0f home spun ready to fire the starters' eun. So putting words to actions, Bill caught up a rifle from a corner of the room, and placing the barrel out of a win dow, he fired. All the! ladies rushed to their bask ets and began filling their pipes with mer were at their best, that the ladies of Happy Hollow decided to have a' smoking contest.; Years 'ago there were no Camels, Chesterfields or Lucky Strike cigarettes, only good old honest home-made pipe tobacco and self rolled cigar tobacco. Girls were not in the habit of smoking "fags," but the older women quite often pull ed the cool sweet smoke into their mouths, from pipes, surrounded with rosy lips, of nautre's coloring and not out of-the ten cent stores; and then .Ascnd it back making rings and ring lets that Bud Fisher can never equal in hjs "Mutt and Jeff" strips, yy'l'he summer work was completed, , all the farm was in fine shape, so the good people gathered at the home of Bill and Mrs. Willie Bell for the rnoking contest. Bill, a tall; handsome man with blue Wes, and, a black mustache, which Selped hide his , always smiling lips, ad only recently married Miss Willie rown, ared headed, freckled faced, Vill talking girl of one hundred and Jity avoirdupois. They were a-con-iial couple as only a short mar- ;e'Sroyage hadn't had time to make 1 them a fighting brigade. JThe newly built log house was fleasing to the eye. Sitting upon a little knoll, with majestic oaks, not Without looking towards the racers, Bill decided he had made a big mis take, for as the smoke of the burnt powder wafted upwards he saw a team, belonging to one of the neigh bors, break free from the tree where they had been tethered. . "Boys! there is a great calamity outside, for neighbor Jones' team has been' freed from their landing. I see since this gut) is not mine, instead of a harmless, discharge of powder there was a bullet set free, and I shot the hitching rope in-twb. The men rushed for the door in time to see the team go galloping down the rock road. But not a sign of excitement did the smokers show, for in less than a minute fifteen pipes were going, with great wreathes of smoke circling towards the ceiling; another sixty seconds and the room took on an atmosphere of a smoke house, when hot weather comes af ter the "fresh meat" is just killed.. After a short chase the run-a-ways were recaptured and the men "piled" into . the wagon and rode back to wards the house on the knoll. When they came in sight of the house, smoke was issuing from the chimney in a solid column and from the win dows in clouds and occassionally a puff formed an outlet through some planted but left standing in the clear-! small crevice or crack in the walls. ing, acting as shade trees. The walls of the house were of neatly hewed logs, "daubed with terra cotta colored clay, two stories in height, with a massive ' rock chimney built on the north side; a Jow roofed porch on - the front, with a smaller one on the rear, made a worthy foundation for the clean, greyish tinted board roof. . After dinner had been served and ' the "dishes cleared away the crowd gathered in the large sitting room, which served as parlor, bed room and living room. To name the party and try to give a mental picture of each would not . only be a burden but ,a boredom. There were fifteen women, wives of fifteen men, present together with their husbands and isevcri babies. ii Bill was'jifU)ointed referee anVi gen jat'Tmg master.. Each womin had ; come prepared with a large cuiy pipe, using' a cane some twelve mches in length for a stem. The men were to furnish the tobacco. Each woman was - to Asmoke tobacco furnished in bask it . ... ' ets, which would hold about a gal- ; .Ion,' the one smoking the most tobac co was to be the winner. Bill lined the contestants up in a , :. : row; the rules called for a standing on both feet throughout the contest. ; Then he placed a long bench, made ' rom half a log, with holes bored t each end for the legs to be placed i. This bench was for the service . f the ladies to place their baskets Vf-tpfcagco upon. After passing around long pine sajinters, which were to be used as m-ches, he placed five -lighted candles' Jupon the bench, so the ladies could light their pine lighters. When all of these prepara tions were completed, Bill warned the pipe smoking females to prepare for the great race, for he was about UUEJLB GEEB8 :rcs ere bll high quality JlrrrcrSiTlrrsthy, Red Top ?rc!:2rd Crczs, Blue Grass ?-S Crsrs, Corn, 7i:eat9 "yc, Czlz, Tcrs and Ceass cZzo ctlirr Grasses Zlrttt itzli Cri:n ar Latest . Cz::.tsx Envelopment 1 i J s crr i: zr.it and Address c-J T7 n III send you , ".:t (zztztlou 1T7 CORP. ::. V:l!r3to ft,-;'.;: .; "Men! hurry up, the house is on fire," shouted Bill. So tying the team to a tree the men rushed toward the house and the rain barrel was soon emptied into large wooden buckets, which the men carried as they rushed into the house, But for all their pains not a blaze could be found, only a steady glow from thirteen pipes. On the floor they discovered two ; of the contes tant lying in a swoon, the tobacco had gone to their heads and the smoke of the room had quickly placed a knock-out blow. They ' carried the unconscious one's int,o an adjoining room and while some of the men worked with water and fans, Bill and the others reentered the living room. The race was progressing nicely. The thirteen had no knowledge, of the disaster, which had hit - two of their numbers. Oh No! they were too. much occupied with their own af fairs. . Bill had to re-plenish two of the baskets and make a note on the scor ing tablet. ' The race had been going for forty five minutes, with two ladies gone to the showers; two , leading the field field shoulder to shoulder, while, elev en others trailed behind. "Water ! water !" pleaded one of the leaders. Then Bill appointed Ransom Brown to act as water-jack. When Ransom carried the bucket of spark ling water into the room and handed a gourd full of the cooling liquid to the lady, she didn't drink, but only tried to cool her parched tongue. Without any great ado, three others of the smokers quietly sank towards the floor. They were carried out and the race only as the minutes crept on, slowed down. As one-third of the field was out of the race, Bill with a piece of charcoal made, a large number On the floor behind each of the contestants. By. using this system he culd keep the score easier. In an adjoining room a great conv motion arose; seveji Dabies gave forth heart breaking appeals, for their mothers, but m6thers in every instance were too busy to take off time. - Seven men then had a job on hand carrying babies. They lined up and went marching around the room like sc:ne standing army. In other words they were, for if a man tried to take a seat and ease his feet, the babe with no respect for corns or bunions would begin to weep and then scream In the living room were tired feet also, Some of the ladies would try to place a foot upon the bench fo rest, but Bill would get out Jiis rules and read section number two and poor foot would be placed upon the tioor again. Seventy minutes saw the two lead ing la?es retired from the : race, for smokinc too fast had completely burn ed theifi tongues to a crispy, burn- i:' , st!.:;. I:;,; icce f v.- i.l tl. rowing machinery. The men were Retting worried and worn out. For the waiting n babies and working over swooned, sick wom en , folks were very tiresome.. A Mr. Jones, braver than the other men, after getting the attention of the ladies still in the race, proposed to call it a tie between the eight women and divide the fifteen dollars equally. But all he got for his pro posal was a crack over the head with an umbrella and a cloud pf smoke blown into his face by the angry women. ' His wife stopped smoking long enough to remark, "We ladies will be here for two weeks or have an hon est winner of first prize." Ninety minutes passed and another lady lost the prize by fainting. But the strange part; the seven men who had to- hold babes were still on the job, yet holding a baby was no more of a job than holding a sick woman What were they to ' do when they had both to do? Poor Bill had his hands full now, for when the last lady went to the showers here husband had been hold ing Bill's baby, so now he had to refill the baskets with tobacco, keep score and call the results, also act in the nursery, liut he was a man who met every crisis with a smile. He tied the cooing youngster upon his shoulder like the squaws carry their off-spring. No. 7, being Bill's wife called for the fourth basket of Burley Leaf, and that cleaned the tobacco nearly to a finish. So the men had a con ference in the yard. Something had to be done for the seven who were still in the race had closed most of of the gaps, and were running almost neck to neck. In a few minutes six other baskets of tobacco had to be on hand. Mr. Jones again" came forward with a suggestion, "Gentlemen, this contest is growing lengthy, and quite ex pensive. .We men will face a to bacco famine if it lasts another hour. Why can't we bring it to a close?" "Go ahead," urged fourteen tired voices. "Well here is my plan : We will put some mullen and red pepper in the rest of the tobacco." "Say, I won't stand for foul - playv" angrily spoke up Bill, "and besides my wife would be the winner for I just gave her the fourth basket and the other ladies will have to be supplied shortly." , Poor Bill was over ruled to a man, when a Mr. Kilpatrick made a short talk : "Gentlemen, we care not who wins the prize, foul or fair. The shadows of night are fast approach hA Most of us have, far to go, chccli::.; f , i ml tUi'.l tl.ey Lull ed into Cart o; ,. diaye Creek. The men entered and Bill read: Hie Women's Pipe Smoking Con test has conic to an end after one hundred and twenty-three minutes of tobacco burning. Mrs. Willie Bell 1 pronounce as winner. Jt is with pleasure, dear wife, I present you with the fifteen dollars, but don't be come vain, for I don't believe you could have smoked the fifth basket." A PRAISE PRAYER FOR 1929 With heads bowed ; And talents gifted, We now have vowed, Our hearts uplifted, " A prayer of praise For the year gone by;' Those happy days, Sent from on high, Have i:sade our land A Litter place, Till we can stand, 4 On God's good grace, And face at last v With love Divine, The year just past Nineteen Twenty-Mine. " , -TROY F. HORN. gid tobacco is being wasted and I am getting good and tired bathing and fanning Jennie. So putting the plans into effect, some of the men crept out behind the barn to the garden , to gather some pepper pods, while others hurried to wards a hill in the pasture and plucked some mullen leaves. Then gathering at the barn Where Bill had some tobacco hanging in his barn loft', they fixed up the mixture, which they named "Red Hot Mamma." Mr. Jones had to make an an nouncement When the men re-entered to the house : "Ladies, we have run out of Burley Leaf tobacco and Neighbor Bill has placed to our . dis posal some of the new tobacco he ordered last spring. It will bite the tongue by changing the brand, but it is the best we can do." The ladies agreed it would be all 0. K. with them. Three, baskets were empty, so as Bill began . to refill the other men left the room with winks and smiles. The first to get a puff of the new mixture let out a yell and rushed towards the water bucket, spitting and foaming. JLhe next' -two started together and they rushed from the room shouting, "Fire."; ;' .V Bill made a record of every number as they fell out. His record showed with one hundred and fourteen min utes of going pnly four out of the fifteen' remained, the others either swooning or running to the showers. Numbers 9, 6 and 4 asked for their fourth basket at the same time. The men were peeping in at doors and windows with smiles cured on their lips. The pine splinter flickered as it went to No. 9's pipe, the same hap pened to numbers 6 and 4. About three light puffs arose from three lighted pipes and a screem pierced the still smoky atmosphere and with "Fire! fire! we are no fire!" three ladies rushed from the house not DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK? (By Edon R. Waite, Shawnee, Okla.) That you can Search the country over ,and you cannot find a success ful manufacturer !' who has made a success without the-, aid of advertis ing. J ' - Successful manufacturers have used the printed page, f to market their products. That is Why they are suc cessful. The growth of the business (Continued on page six) For 1930 Angel and Bradley Guarantee the Motoring Public RELIABLE MOTOR CAR REPAIRING Our Storage Accommodations are the Best in Western North Carolina Phone 147 Palmer Street ' FRANKLIN, N. C. BfWHERE ECONOMY BMIS jj GRANDMOTHER'S BREAD 7 'V FULL POUND WRAPPED LOAF PAN ROLLS ROUND or SQUARE f &fK- PEAS t'l ' If I RED KIDNEY BEANS N-2 can 8 O'CLOCK COFFEE r pound SPAGHETTI Ready-to- berve 27 FANCY CREAMERY Cut Fresh Lb. From the Tub mm QUAKER GRITS KARO SYRUP BLUE LABEL No. 5 can No. 10 can 'C Y0C 27 WALDORF TISSUE QUAKER-MAID BEANS SCOTT TISSUE P&G SOAP 'A&P PLAIN or SELF ft) FLOUR 24 THE AiriLANinic "A I mil
The Franklin Press and the Highlands Maconian (Franklin, N.C.)
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Jan. 2, 1930, edition 1
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