North Carolina Newspapers

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The UtM Adeitiin .Medium In Haywood County Published At The Eastern Entrani-e of The (Jreat Smoky .Mountains National Park Itead In Thinkins; People
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The Human Side 0' Life
Incidents and Observations
I5y I M'LE ABE-.,
Anecdotes and Humor !
My Neighbor and His Cow-
,' When passing by my neighbor's house
'Twas Henry Ladd's I vow.
He was a-milkin' and gittin' mad,
And ravin' at the tow
"So, dad burn ye. so
f, So-oh, now darn ye SO!
earth's the matter,
Raves he
Says me.
"Now what
Hen? 1
Jes ' she's not no tick
So"! Nan then you'de better--so-oh!
Before I take a stick
So-oh! plague take ye- So!
So-oh Little .k-vil SO!
Rave he.
Says me. . ,
."Look there Hen on that cow s laim
A big lljy don't you see:"
He turns and swats the tly drops
All's quiet as quiet can be.
"So. little Jersey, ?o;
So now my baby, .-o. '
:, Now there, Mr. Kditor " 1 dew hope
the above will put a quietus on your
.'poetical aspirating for a hmjs urn
tew come. And this isn't nothing to
what 1 cau do when my hair grows
out long like Longfellow's or Shakes
peare's you knovv. And as for the
little "border" words, in my verse.
-.well, they are nothing like as bad as
my neighbor used in his argymint
with the cow. for he .was -shore a
jawin' back at that cow. The "cow'
is a net ion; it migiu nave ueen ..
or a collar-button, :;s for that matter
: -just whatever, happened to: arouse
: thi. man's ire because the object of
his anathemas , Yes. and this "Mr.
Ladd" (for that was not hi.s name,
was a spoke in the Kotary wheel here
in Waynesville, a piller in the cheereh
and-1 don't know what else- Yes
He was a stranger and (Way nesville
Took him in ;
Then he took Waynesville in
In return.
This happened to Waynesville
Agin an' agin.
: And still Waynesville refuses
To Jeani.
We Waynesville and Haywood folk.
' are mighty slow to honor and bestow
upon our own sons and daughters no
matter how dcservinjl they might be
sorter jealous of each other, 1 m-k
on But just let a stranger come in
who happens to have i little money
or social prestige, and watch twenty
four hundred men, women and chil
dren "fall for him," oh boy "Hu
man Side." I reckon, Mr. Editor.
Well I've been a farmer, peddler,
hobo, salesman., teacher, book-keeper,
editor, preacher. auctioneer, J. P.,
grocer, timekeeper, foreman, and col
umnist everything, under the sun.
but a humorist. And now I'm a
humorist, I know, because after being
all these things I feel like one. Then
I know I'm a humorist because I make
folks laff if they don't la If at my
.stuff they laff at me, so "odds is the
difference." Last week on knocking
at the door of a farm house, . the
"lady" appeared with the deer ol
Mountaineer in her hand still hot
(the paper, I mean.)- Well sir,: she's
a-laffin' lit to kill. After a while, she
sorter dried up an' was a wipen out
her eyes when she looked and saw my
white pas theh she busted out
agin: in a new place an' collapsed right
in my arms. The ol' man was at the
wood pile an' 1 thought he might not
like the way things was. a-takin
shape, so I tried to explain, but says
"Withdraw vour arms, let my gal be,
She's jest a-daffiin' at Gee McChce.
Says' me, .
Why you danifool. can you not see,
She's "now a-laffin- straight at me ;
Not Gee.
That, is why- Mr,': Editor, 1 know
I'm a humorist or sumpun.; ,
Speakin' of jokers reminds hie , that
Kidnapped Rich
Man Makes Escape
: San Antonio Abducted for $50,000
ransom, H lb Sneli. wealthy Cordell
(Okla.) merchant and farmer, acci
dentally gained his liberty from two
kidnappers early Friday when he fell
out of the kidnapers' auto while it was
lurching along an unpaved road sev
eral .miles north of San Antonio.
. Snell lay unconscious, but revived
sufficiently t0 stumble along until he
reached Alamo Heights here,, where
J. R. .Eml'ie. a special policeman, saw
him. '
Shell said he was, kidnaped early
Thursday morning at his .home in
Cordell, a town 100 miles northwest of
Wichita Falls.. Texas, Despitp tor
ture by his kidnapers and two confed.
-crates" who joined them near Wichita
Falls. Snell. refused to s:gn,: notes .or
checks for ,,?."0,000, to gain his free
dom, he said. . ,
Grocer Davis can git on" some purtv
good ones, Milas Noland. better. Bill
byers .-till better and "Big" Charley
-Uedtwni-well. he "caps the stack."
But layin' all jokes aside; there is
a colored girl here in Waynesville
who has been left a cripple bv infan
tile paralysis, s0 that it is hard for
her io walk even with the aid of a
stick. However, she nets up everv
morning around six o'clock, does some
work in her own home, walks a mile to
her place of service (this requires 40
minutes) works for her mistress all
day and them warlks back home again
at tor dark.
This she does every dav, Sundays
not excepted. How's this for forti
tude, will power, stick-to-it
and what not?
Eating Calves
Brains Helps
Humans, Is Said
kiss her husband. h.
.10 vear
Cleveland. Ordering a dish of
calved brains with your meal is prob
ably a way to build up your brain
The tinning of a brain vitamin
which gives color to this idea was re
ported to the American Chemical
Society today.
1 he fact that good gin contains
. . 1 - : I ..... . , .. .. I
iu.-ei ou, contrary to common beliel.
was also reported.
hat .appears to be a new law of
electricity, upsetting scientific beliefs
which havt. existed since In-fore Mich
ael Faraday, was decribed by two
joungsters lrom runiue I niversity
The brain vitamin goes by the nanie
of B l. Its discovery was tirst re- j.
OMited about a year ago by Vir.Versi-I
ty of Wisconsin scientists, who show- i
ed that it was directly connected with
Later worl;, now reported here, in-
Now Orleans, Sept. t5 Love does!
strange tilings. !
Mrs. I.aure Gainbino, ,"0, died for
it. Mrs. Willi.., m V. Hopkins. L'5, was
stabbed in the side for it. And it was
all so unnecessary.
Mrs. Gambino thought she had
killed her husband. Vincent Gambino,
.VI. Mrs. Hopkins was only trying
dieates that the vatimin may be asso
ciated with growth of the brain, par
ticularlv those nort ions which control
bodily movements, This report was!
made by O L. Klein. C. A. Klvehjem
and Prof. F; K. Hart of the Cniver
sity of Wisconsin.
ALSO A "t'AKKl l'.K"
Keceiitl;, 1 hi y have found that this
1M ' -ubstaiice coinpri-es probably not
only a 'vitamin but a "carrier," some
other which .all ..- tlie vi
tamin and which thus far cannot be
separated from the vitamin
Mi's. Gambino cooked dinner yester
day, as she had doiTe ir many yeai,
She made tish cake's and served tbeiu
to her husbaml. The re are no chil
dren, and they live alone together.
When her husband became violent
ly ill, .Mrs. Gambino discovered she
had rolled the fish cakes in a poison
ous insecticide, mistaking it for liour.
She looked at her husband, suffering
terribly, and tears welled from her
She believed he was dying Kiss
ing him, she mixed more of (he poison
and took it herself.
Both were tal, n 10 a
placed in separate wards
hi no died, hut not hefoio
reached her bo-ido. He
ed recovering today,
M rs. Hopkins' case was
ferent but there was the
of irony to it .
Her husband was in the kitchen
sharpening a knife to carve a roast
Mis. Hopkins sidled up to hun and
loaned foiward 'to teal a kiss. Hop
kins was staitled and wheeled. The
hospital and
Mrs. Gam
bol husband
was report-
a, little til 1 -same
Legless Beggar
Has $9,000 Home
Xow Ycrk Magistrate Aurelio in
Yoi'kville court today suspended sen
tence on a legless boirgar whom ;
probation report showed to be poss
essed of:
A $!Mio(i house in the Bronx.
A wife.
Thiee loonier. s, each of whom paid!
$:!'' a mouth rent.
A son earning $lt a week.
An automobile,'
. The accused.' Michael Bartero, H,
who admitted wheeling through
crowded subways seeking alms, said
be gained all his worldly goods n
mechanic hefoi o he lost his lej. - in
an accident
kiiil'i' penetrated her side.
The husband rushed 'her to a hos
pital. Physicians kept her under
close observat ion. . They said her con
dition was serious.
There's A Reason!
Since September First
317 Families
(69 new)
U&w IPandl Jbek
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