Newspapers / The Waynesville Mountaineer (Waynesville, … / June 20, 1935, edition 1 / Page 11
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THE WAYNESVILLE MOUNTAINEER THURSDAv JLNE -0. IS The Human Side 0' Life AS SEEN AND TOLD ; t. 1 By Uncle Abe "hizself" Well, the mou-st important thins that's hajincnd fiom the Human stamlpint, Mr. Kditur, is this: ., Kstis Arrington .sez lie's destroid tin- bi'-'is' den o' fifes in this kunlry lite her in town! 1 met Kstis on the street tuther day, an' sez he: "L'nkle Abe, 1 want you lu say suiiip'ni 'bout Hees next week, seem' a.s you air the only man what liaz the privillege of wlitin' about siteh things." "Okay," sez I. "I'm a lyre," sez Kstis, "if me an' Jer'm didn't git into the bigges' den o flees that ever went into bizness." "U.'liir sez I. "Down in the ol' liv'ry barn we've 'bin a-tearin' down." Then K.tis went on to tell how them hungiy llees got to bitin' .id (ii m i oaii uiai ne nau 10 map i iiiz tools an' iun; an' set-in' that I "Jei'm'' wuz in siteh ag'ny, Kstis sed that he an' the K irkemloll boys Went lo hiz assi.stenee. "Will, we got I1H tlees out ' the waste lit'in of hiz pants," sed Kstis, "an' by the time we not to hiz socks we'de lost count." "What cauzeil all them llee.v Ks tis?" sez I. "Why, ( 'beef's ol' dawys, of roars," sez he. Well, here's they way it is: loin Bridge.- walks out without savin' a word. As he passes Mrs. (jwyn's desk, sht sez; "Well, is it l o'clock?" "Kile on the dot," sez Tom. Kditur Kuss crams hiz pock its full o' papers an' sez, "Lock the doar." liusler Bridges grahs the funny paper an' sez, "I trot to git out u' here an' by sum groeerii.s." (Busters alius by i ri jgrogt-ries an' it t a ;eHin' on hirn.) .Mrs. (iwyn gits her hat an' sez, "Good nite, to you all." (She's a-try-i ii to teech us sum manners.) Unkle. Abe puts up his little kyards an' i-ee-lites hiz Secgyar. An' Mr. Bailey, well, he makes f'er the waste bask it, (ye -,ee he's a .stanup collector.) I see that Charles Kay hain't turn the water into hiz swimmirf hole yit thai- whir the ol Iiv y nam wuz. James Braddock Is New Boxing Champ N'KW VOKK. James J. Braddock, the man rustic history almost forgot gamely struggled to the top rung of Kingdom's ladder last Thursday night when, as the longest shot in the history of the game, he went the full lo round route to take the heavy weight title from the cu.-ly head of llaxie, the plaifboy, Baer, in the Madison Square Bowl. The 29-year-old Irishman, who cii i ied the hopes of hi.s home state of New Jersey and the feivint prayers of his wife and three kiddies, ab sorbed aH that dapper Maxie had to offer ari'i was always there with a i stinging lair that sot- ed deteat lor the champion. The victory climaxed the long -story of Braddock's climb to the championship, his start as a fair fighter, hard luck and the beginning of the descent from the depths from which fw fighters ever rise, and then his ,.ise t' the heights of fame. it Three South Carolina Counties Without Liquor Well, Way in .sum town . . "Hepl. ' o popli I. r. K iep;. -! I I llle . . jisl Thev .k f-r turn ll gitten to be look at the air gitten to be Sam Jones an' eir places into I. IIV IT 11.1 I Ki.i: ABK'S KAoSiV VKKK ( 'ASK law, tlie ciiart holds wuz jcstilide in slappin' bin n l'er t hrnwin' hot in his face." l'nkle. Abe's judgment K ias'n Veer Case that ildrn! ma M veer.-' Tin, wiz in tiic taiinti. , Hi U u in up from the -Ii shun sevi ii year A l ie u lis aci i c ,t ., ; vel llavi., like., vcr; crowd n-oi'n.l. him story,- wliiteh ii tm nat li.m .- ( r. (go when I i. HI .1. f (in unit cl an' 10 g hit i the "t'nk that Koas'in today," .,.' "Xcx I i mi ( 'ii'"Vc,. to : f, (irover wuz yei'r yarn on nine Walker b l.arnre" sez I, a-tell in" you agin tst week, " Vou git tel Abe 'Judge Slackt' hini.; ye. how Unkle A!.-!) git Hoy about t he .case Jirawl a certain .:in all, up th eeai't hous. France to tell ve when tlie . olfyters drunk man, krulches liar steps of the ol' F , hav env of vou ever bin the Mount'iit't'i' offis at closin' time? Now fer the hardisl part, the QFKS( II UN'S AN" A.N'SKKS VVaynesville, . ('., June 11. Dear Uncle Abe: I'm taking advantage of your an swering questions in your column to ask you the following' things that have puzzled me: 1. How high is up? 2. What kind of a noise annoys an oyster? .'1. How far does a rabbit run into ! ; : .d '.' I. How long is a straight line? Please answer these for me, as I am worried. I'uzzled Perplexed Person. I eer P. 1'. Person: No. 1. .Seenin' that Unkle Abe has bin down moa.st of his life he don't no .so mutch about tlie up iiucschuns as lie duz the down won Knyawy, I figger that up is as h'gh up as down is. down whitch is a bell-of-a-dis- lancf. If tlii- aiiscr is not satislack- jfty, a Wiley I'o-t he'-, bin up live!' ' jit 1 1 cl) yboi'y I mi tiv. 'No. -. It's sed thai the only noiz ! 1 ha' annoy - an oy'ster is the noiz of ' iin aody catin' cm raw like Kditur I !ti - - I nz.-- Then the oysters on the In (U try to turn' over in irolest. No. ", It all depends on the size n v the woods'' ail' how bad. thr rabbit's skeerd. If he's 'bout ' u way ekeerd, he iitis 'bout '-! way into the woods, but . if he's skeerd almost out tiv his skin lie runs all tlie way thru the woods an' out. at. tlie Ulher side. In all ca.se-' he runs on till he stops. Seein' that you Wuz razed up in a rabbit kuntry vou orter a node this. No. 1. Unkle Abe is plum s'piized at you fe,- axin this ijues chun 'bout a si rate line. Vou orter no 't liar's nuthin' nor nobody, that's sti ate eny more . . . even the st rate COUMBIA, S. ('.There are only three counties in South Carolina Kdgeficld, Calhoun and Hampton without retail liiiuor stores. Applications for licenses from those counties were on file -with the state tax commission, which was expected to act upon them within a few days The commission ruled that, liquor sold at retail must be by direct trans action and could not be delivered because of the possibility of its Lro ing astray and getting into the bands of minors. lines air crookid. Hazel wood Dea,. Uncle Abe: What bs the Kong's .Share the une 1 I. Hui meaning of Wealth Club? Interested. leer 'Interest id : j . Vou air not the only one iiitrrc.-t-ed in llevvy's Prospective Kingdurn. Vou no when Jesus Cbrit wuz. on cith sum uv tlie Peccipuls wam'cil to no about the. places boy wuz a goin' to ockapy . . ; that's tlie way it i- wit h llewy's I H'lvipuls. . Wi ll, the best. Unkle Abe can git at llewy's I (ice is this: You've seen men shear sheep I no. Now I think Kong's "Shear the "Webb Club" wood ackt siiniwhat the same wiiy , M-himeVi... the sheen had acktlliialated a little, then the "Shear the Wellh Club." wood kum along an" . Ileece em shear the welth, ye see. A church iii Ohio operates a tilling station which all mem-bers are asked in o:i roni.e. This mav give soini legislators the iik-a f imposing social church tax on gasoline. taxed for nearly everything else. I It Takes Good Equipment To Do Good Work and That Is Why Massie Funeral Home Selected "FRIGID" Equipment and Supplies g ft? f ; I w Mr '." A' ' ' rt v-.' r r7 i: r-' i'y'- tK' -i t rr t; ', To Massie Funeral Home WE OFFER congratulations ON THEIR NEW Funeral Home WE MAKE METALIC CASKETS from AU.MCO IRON BRONZE COPPER The Only Metalic Casket Manufactured in The South OVll LINE OF METALIC CASKETS ARE JOBBED THROUGH TlfF i CHARLOTTE CASKET CAMPANY I Atlanta Metalic Casket C ompany ATLANTA. GA. Frigid Fluid Company 2421 - 2431 W. Van Buren St. C H I C A G O I ;.:'' '''" I I 1 ... c4! FS if f h Sincere Congratulations To Massie Funeral Home In Their Expansion Mr. Massie Will Be Delighted To Show You Our Line of Goods WE MANUFACTURE A COMPLETE LINE METAL - CLOTH HARDWOOD T urner White Casket C WINSTON SALEM, N. C. M--;'r;;.;;:v '."'" 1 ".' I ''.' ' - "'.':'" 1 1 S.I I
The Waynesville Mountaineer (Waynesville, N.C.)
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June 20, 1935, edition 1
11
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