f v "funny papers have
Fturr !wne to American civ
ft Lut: "Oh. yeah!"
ana j uu e
ion.
.... -Italians have long
frit'
5,' u like tn ask
Httle matter of a
FJ ,L ,iolav war debt?
I n
ID AS uc QcrQ tut
l IV ill. ULU J I I 1L
HUMAN SIDE 0' LIFE
wen, -tir. toitur, 1 gess i ce better v. ell. the '-Vwt Firginny ladies'
give a-nouni uv myseu enaurin tae wuz the tamest cart of the show tilth.
past 2 wks. . . so's to keep fjkes er nite kompared with the jokes them
jium axm , vw.ir nave ye Din a.) tnis giae pulled off between dances . .
time?"
So here goze
I whitch goze to show that a Waynes
iville show krowj likes em hot.
lellow
tonones
IhlitziV'Steinies"
hVinY?ciHtzin"Steinie''
h Brown Dottles for mel-
memories ot oklen days,
Linoi vou real, full-
iJlcd. olJ-time flavor...
tewed to ripe, rich perfec
ts ,rintprandsummer.m-
hr Precise Enzyme Control.
fcjoy Selililz today, with
huh beiienis 01 sunsnine
litamin I) ... in "Steinie"
frown Bottles.
You don 'I hare to cultivate
a taste for Schlitz. You
like it on first acquaint
ance unit ever ajter.
SCHLITZ BREWING CO.
Mil WAI KEE, WIS.
Whir the mount'ins' air hills.
An' fewer rocks an' nils
Whir the bull frogs "bull,"
An' the "moonshine's" full
Whir the model T's run.
An' the lizzards, come to .sun
Whir the pine groze tall.
An' the vvhooperwills call
Whir you need a dozen hats
To fite "domi-nocker" nats
Yes, down in the lan' of ol S. C,
i Is whir I've bin, fokes, yes, sir-ee!
1HE PENDYLUM SWINGS
I An' this remines me that 1 heeid
I a Waynesvilie sitizen arga-fyin' t'oth
i er day that this ol' worl' "is a-growin
j wus.n-r all the time"
I "Not so." replide Shurf WVlch,
i "it's jist a-growin' more broad-minded
and tolerint."
To all who've bin axin' me what
I raze on my place down thar, will
say that the principal crops air domi
necker nats, bull frogs, lizzards an'
huckle-berries in the ordur menshuned.
I notis that Howl McCraeken's gut
to takin' all hiz childern out tin Sun
days of late. La.st Sunday he had em
all packt in the recr the boy in the
1 eck-streem reer, bein' a little darker
l than the tuther childern. Howl sed
the whiter ones wanted him to put
i in a Jim Crow partishun, but lie
didn't have time fer that, so settled
' the matter bv givin' em all ice kreem.
W..il ...hut'.. tk.. ,-..,.j ..rim- ,.av'
I It the pendyluin is a-swingin rue
i mutch theze days in the direckshun of
intemperance, liberalism., gayetty, fun
an foolishness. I reckon we 11 jist halt
to let er swing. Mout as we.l go down
to the oashun an' try to sweep the
waves back with a broom.
An' mark my word, the pendylum
will swing back one o' theze days . . .
like the pendylum of a clock, it alius
swings back, an' it mout. be in the
not distent foocher.
ieprrigbt I9J7, Jo. ScbHtz Brewing Co.9A
iwife!. i
sr.iJteSfi- 'waws
Editur Russ kwoated me sorter rong
last wk., fokes; instid of sayin' ,that
sump'm alius happens when I left
town, I think 1 sed that sum grate
kalamity alius befell the kommunity.
One time 2 or .'5 men wuz killed while
I wuz gone . . an' this time when 1
returnd, 10 an' behold! 'bout all the
dawgs in Hazel wood had bin pizeneil
an' Editur Russ' wife had had a baby!
An' the strangest part uv . it all,
Unkle Abe hadn't dieenied uv eethur
one a-happenin'!
An' when it swings back in t'othei
di-reckshun we'll have
Woo Sundays
Long Sermons
"Awl ul Revivals"-
.More Long Faces
More Hippo-krits -An
J'rohi-bishun
So called.
But t'other crowd will then be sat
isfide . . . an' so will all good spoVts
an'
UN'KI.K ABK.
More proof, fokes, that this is a
strange ol' worl'.
WtBBfSQllIwja
' Priced a.s Jjow a
Txw down pay-
I IlK'Ilt Fil.sv Trri.u.
See
115
'ASIC SERVICFS
""Home Refrigeration!
GREATER ICE-ABILITY
I -u,r uxxiv ana ice-
tomme"t
6REATER STORAGE-ABILITY
fCREATER PROJECT-ABILITY
Heater depend.arh itv
S-Vcar PctecHon Plan, backed
GREATER SAVE-ABIUTY
l :
brti r .
Plest nfri ger.
Gives
WlUinn ' v
j 6 saving,
J
V
TOAST SKK1P
I Since wntin' the above have re
c'vd a nice letter from Mrs. Flora
I el li an' her dad. 1). H. Turpin, jist
i before leavm' fi'r San Diego, an' on
I to ol' San Fran for the dedikashun of
the grate (loUlen (late Bridge. Mrs.
Webb sez she's a-goin' to .how her
dad the time of hiz life. Cood thing
Flora is along kaze when Dock gits
eck-sited he'll need an intei pnter.
Thanks to both uv you fer the nice
things sed 'bout the Mount'ncei' an'
this kolyum.
Telegraph Rates
Reduce June 1st
'nsfanf Cube-Bl..
Omfy PriruL.. l . .
st.mr ' "' .' I0.
Yield.' .-cube,.
ction. - """. y
or fall value you must have complete ability in All 5 Basic
w'lr"100 Seiices.---and proof of All 5! That's just what the
to "uty "Frigidaire with the Meter-Miser gives you. If you
Action Save moey and avoid regret . . . want permanent satis-
,Ste our Frigidaire Proof-Demonstration before you buy!
Martin Electric Co.
I "WE SERVICE ANYTHING WE SELL"
,c- ol rHiiprw streRT
"Drastic reductions in rates for
overnight telegraph service which will
become effective June 1 will provide
substantial savings to residents of
Waynesville, it was disclosed by the
Kical manager of the .Western Union
Telegraph Company. A tariff filed
lecently with the Fedeial Communi
cations Commission at Washington,
will reduce the cost of both short and
long messages and cut the. telegraph
bill of the nation by approximately
$3,000,000.
The effect of these rcductmns, the
manager says, is that the charge for
25 words .will be the same a.s, aim in
some cases lower, than the present
charge for a 10-word night message
and that long messages can be sent at
relatively even lower prices.
The 10-word night message will be
discontinued and the initial charge
for night letters will be for 25 words
instead of for 50 as at present. The
maximum charge for a 25 word night
letter will be fifty cents, even for the
greatest distances in the United
States. .
Words in excess of 25 will lie charg
ed for in groups of five instead of
ten, as at present. The rates start
at an unprecedentedly low level and
decrease progressively as the length
of the message increases, resulting in
added word rates as low a.s une cent
for five words for messages sent a
short distance and, for night letters
sent over the greatest distance from
Waynesville 9 cents for five words in
shorter messages and 3.5 cents for
each five words sent in excess of 200.
This is a new principle in rate making
and is designed to facilitate the use
of the telegraph for all manner of
business and social communications,
no matter what their length.
These new overnight rates will en
able the public to lay down communi
cations everywhere at the opening
of business the following morning,
with absolute certainty and at ex
tremely low cost whether the message
be, short or long.
Maybe it is just as well the British
barred the strip-tease act, as a coro
nation crowd would feel silly all by
himself.
It ued to be that a well-informed
man couldn't name more than two or
three justices of the supreme court,
but now that they have obtained so
much publicity he can very likely
name four or five of them.
At Probe of Zeppelin Tragedy
-TllllrtiMIIIlllllllllH Mllll'llMit''' I'll A
Europe All Astir Over
Changes In Time There?'
Daylight saving time begins in Hol
land next Saturday night, and Europe
will then be through shifting its
clock until autumn. The French
changed on April the 4th, to the con
fusion of foreigners, who had to catch
trains in Pans. The Belgians fol
lowed suit on April the 11. Britain.'
fell in line on April 18, and for the
week following, until New York,
changed on April the 25, the brokers
on the London curb market had to
wait an hour longer in their oflk'esi
for Wall Street to open. The Cermans-.
tried daylight saving time during tint?
World Wsir, but later dropped it. The
Swede also tried it and dropped it.
Russia still has it.
Nudists appear to be (juite sincere.
At least, they never "put on."
China faces crisis, according to a
cablegram. Is this a new one, or Just
an old crisis warmed over?
Rosendahl testifying
Testifying before the commerce department's committee investigat
ing the destruction of the Hindenburg, above, Commander Charles
E. Rosendahl, leading American airship authority and eye-witness to
the disaster, intimated that neither static electricity nor lightning
was responsible for the tragedy, but would give no opinion as to
what did cause the tragedy.
WE HUY
OLD GOLD
Jewelry, Rings, Teeth, Crowns.
etc.-See
CHANDLER & CO.
Credit Jewelers
First Class Watch And Jewelery
Repairing
Waynesville, N, (1.
Electric Refrigeration
Affords Great Savings
Because You Can
lift P S
Ic; 5afflw..
Electrical
Refrigeration
Definitely
Cuts The
Cost Of
Better
Living!
One of the outstanding sav
ings features of an Electric
Ref rip-orator i that it enables
you to take advantage of the
low week-end special prices
and buy your meats and other
perishable foods in larger
quantities. This feature alone,
in most families, will take care
of the payments on an elec
tric refrigerator to say noth
ing of the savings through
elimination of losses through
food spoilage . . . and the con
venience, comfort, safety and
other advantages of electrical
refrigeration are still to be
considered.
Attend The
Motion Picture
Cooking School
Thursday,
Friday and
Saturday At The
Park Theatre
CITY LIGHT DEPARTMENT
assies Ear.
mm
Sasei
nen
CHILDREN'S STRAPS,
OXFORDS and SANDALS,
(Q 7 Sizes
51 to 3
BROWNS, WHITES AND TWO-TONES