crUY. SEPTEMBER 9, 1937
THE WAYNESVILLE MOUNTAINEER
Page 2
- . m u MM
AS HE SEES THE
HUMAN SIDE 0' LIFE
J HA. v to haff to tell ye
if-' ,'.. V,...! n r.other awful
that ive -
rr!tm'l tat too mutch red cab-
r. tattTS, sour Krawt, m-mktt-rs,
biskit, korn bred,
- h'J'trr. 1 lr'
i HiJi't tat all this, cept in my
'fj"vittlfs out o' that hole list; but
?Ktp eatin'. all theze
h.-it the Devil haz
; m( tO WOl'K OH fill J BlUJH-
?-"i'kf he did that nite' seei"' as
:'ur:xu give him enny back sass
'roth-n'.- Enn.v wav he shore dul
I'm u, ride . . . an' went places I
'rhad etd before yes, sir-ee!
--e fust place 1 'ent wuz t0 Chiney
s, myself rite throo the
4... an' I'm a-tellin' you hit wuz
..-ntr,u iurnev!
ij; I come rite out in the middle
ie Chiney ar cnop sooey wnann-a'tvef-rats,
rice an' all!
'e rna-by no Mr. Editur that I onct
the Jackson Co. War, me an'
Iter Davis, Lowry Lee, Capt Kil-
L. an' other brave soles nere; mat
U back in 1918 an' wuz a purty
bluddy war . . . but it wuzn't nothin'
kompared with the Chiney war.
But not likin' the slant of their
eyes over thar nor their dite neather,
I desided to come back home. So,
findin' my ol hole, I startid back on
my return jurney, 8,000 )mi. plus,
borin' ever foot uv the way like a
mole.
I tried to navigate toarg Waynes
ville best I cood, but 1 must a mist
it a little.
"Whir am I?" 1 inijuard, RipVan
Winkle like, of a strange-lookin' bein',
aiter 1 had crawled my way back throo
an' out on top u' the earth aig-in
"You're on Turkey Creek," he re
plide. "Well, whirs Waynesville -an'
Cripple Creek?" I axt. "I want to
see Ote Kurgin, Sam Jones, Foxy, the
court hous krowd, et ux.
"Aint no Waynesville an' Cripple
Creek enny more," sez he "they fell
like Soddom. We reed our Bibble down
here an' go to church. Wipe yore eyes
out, Bio. an' come on to church with
us . . . we're a-havin' a awful meet
in'. "
So what do ye reckon 1 dun, fokes?
I jumpt into my hole aig-in quick as
skat an' started burrowin' throo to
Chiney aig-in.
Sow that the children are back
in School, Keep their clothes
looking
CLEAN AND BRIGHT
Our modern method of dry
drawing will restore the origi
nal color to all types of fabrics.
Send in their clothes often.
CENTRAL
CLEANERS
MAIN STREET
Electric Cookery
C L E A N
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' V - III:
?'s. Pans and other iifpn;ils remain free from crime and
P without scourin? No other "methods of cookine compare
Metric Cookery in CLEANLINESS. . . .
Girb Rush for Movie Hero
I" 'I XI. B I & 3- I
vpt . I IS I 'lv i i 1 1 J
'-itol K ffffliJ IxtS-i
Paul McNutt Slated
For Presidential
Nomination In 1940
Captain Harry Crawford
Transferred To Wisconsm
Paul V. McNutt, former governor '
of Indiana, former national command
er of the American Legion, and now
high commissioner to the Phillipine
Islands, has been boldly and publically
nominated by Senator Minton, Dem
ocrat, for President to succeed Frank
lin I. Roosevelt. And he will be nom
inated by the Democratic national
convention in 1941 -if Senator Minton
is good enough prophet for that is
the senator's prediction.
Read The Ads
Captain Harry Crawford of the TJ.
S. Army, is being1 transferred from
duty as instructor of the Wisconsin
National Guards at Stevens Point,
Wis., to the 80th .ield artillery, Fort
Des Moines, Iowj.
Captain Crawford is expected to
visit his mother, Mrs. W. T. Crawford,
in the near future, before he assumes,
his duties at For Des Moines.
First Plows of Tree Branches
The first farm plows were mad
of crooked tree branches and
worked by man power.
"" "" " Scene as Taylor Arrive In New York "
When Robert Taylor, matinee idol, arrived in New York via train,
long line of female fans broke through police lines to get a glimpse
of their hero. Taylor, however, made a run for it and escaped
unscath
But on this 3rd trip I got to suffo
catin' in the hole . . . an' that's when
the nite mares seezed me an' I woke
up- with a strugglin groan
Mrs. Abe wuz a-punchin' me in
short ribs an' a-hollerin'
What the hell is the matter agers
er cramp? pust yer feet 'ginst the
over-hed sealin'," sez she.
"No, jist the nite mares a-holt uv
me." sez I, moppin' the cold swet off.
But I don't think I had bin asleep
more than a dozen snoozles before.
Collection Of
Income Taxes
To Reach Peak
DKEEM NO. 2.
Commenct to onravel itself. This
timel' wuz. on the hi seez crossin' all
kinds o' streems or tryin' to . .
muddy streems, clur streems, deep
streems an' shallow streems, swift
streems an' lazy streems. 1 drifted
thro dark, solitary kasms or become
stranded on bloc, cold lakes. At times
I wuz a wadin' swift, muddy streems
waste-deep . . . wood looze my footin'
an' be carried down, ma-by ketchin' to
drif-wood, er sump'm.
But, sumhow 1 alius managed to
keep my heed 'bove streem . . , that
wuz the only kon-solin' part uv-it an'
if it hadn't a-bin fer that no dout the
nite-mares wood a-bin on me ag-in.
I think the reezun 1 had this last
dreem wux be-kaze the Medf ord lie
Yoonyun wuz close at nan' an' I wuz
a tryin' to cross the Mediterrannean.
A sertin man come to town t'other
day "1 want a Co-ky Coaly," sez he,
"one with all the fixchers to it."
"What do ye meen by, all the fix
chers to it?,' axt the soady jei ker.
"Why, straws, slice o' lemon an'
all same az ye give theze here tool ist
fokes," he replide.
Leeve it to an Am Duff man to git
all what's a-comin' to 'im.
Treasury authorities estimated this
week that income tax collections this
month will total $500,000,000- the
largest September collections since
l'.rjii and about $140,000,000 over Sep
tember a year ago.
Income taxes-may be paid in. four
installments on the 15th of March,
June, September, and December. Many
corporations and wealthy individuals
take advantage of this provision to
save interest on their money.
Officials said their estimate for this
month was based on collection trends
established since the 19li( revenue act
went into effect. This law increased
levies on upper-bracket individual in
comes and imposed the controversal
tax on undistributed corporate profit.
UJ
W H I T E
as
SNOW
WITH AN
EASY
Read the ads-It pays
WASHER
The Modern Way To To Your Laun
dry At Home
SAVES LABOR . . .
SAVES CLOTHES . . .
SAVES MONEY . . .
See Them In Our Slock
Massie Furniture Co.
MAIN STREET
PHONE 33
Down in this county a fiO-ycar-old
mount'neer wuz a-tiottin' his 14th
kid of the .'!rd se-ries on hiz nee an'
a-singin'
"When my life work is ended" &
so foarth.
"Hush up out thar," come a voice
from the kitchen, "that's the same
song ye sung over the fust an' 2nd
sets."
And
no other methods compare with it in COOLNESS, CON-
"er memoas compare wnn u in
'CE, QUICKNESS AND ECONOMY.
The ptt- AlJ T-l . r,- . :J .n, nnl,ll
I, " Jiuucin r.ippirir itanirtfs are ui lieu iuui icownaw
Prr operating cost is very low inanns to inwi
m LIGHT DEPT
The Floridy man's horn's stuck up
jist as he wuz a-turnin' into Mane St.
one day last wk. It seemed that he
coodn't git the dum thing on-stuck
eather . . . an' hit wuz a-traetin' ever
body's 'tenshun!
Davis, the little knife-peddler, lookt
oh a minet from the side walk then
dasht out to the man's ke-ar, an'
reachin' inside, he instantly topt
the blowin' horn.
Then with sines an' moshuns
Davis told the man to drive on, and
lookt 'lound at the krowd as if to
say-
"I can lurn theze toorist-fok s
sump'm yit."
No Tall Weeds For
Chicago's Vacant Lots
Chicago isn't all built up yet, not
by any means. Ti;ll weeds flourish in
so many vacant lots there that the city
council recently ruled that owners
must mow them down before they
reach a height of -30 inches, on penalty
of a fine of from $5 U $100. High
weeds are a traffic hazard, declared
the alderman who introduced the or-
dinace. Besides that, they make in
roads on cultivated land which Chi
cago boasts of owning within its city-limits.-
2-Year-Old Stages A
Sit-Down Strike Alone
Even the two-year-olds go on a sit
down strike in Ogden, Utah.
During a celebration police were
called by a merry-go-round operator
to evict a youngster of that age who
screamed and kicked every time an
aesD
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Massie Furniture Company
Phone 33
Main Street
attempt was made to take him off one
of thethorses.
i