i : r - ' ' ONE-TO-TEN , p- ' "Now yon got to keep away from this guy," the second whispered into the caullflowered ear of hla prlncl- ; pal.. . "Jab htm an' get away or he'll use hla right, You got to keep that left hand out there an' don't let him get set to hla right Be'a a cinch : to try to get yon to slug him, bnt don't do it, or he'll get hla right over ura.V;;.. --'VS , "I get yon," the lighter nodded. Til do Just like you any, but aup- : pose he doea get hla right over any. way?Wbat'll I do?" "Nothln," the second Instructed. "Just relax an me an' the refereo'U carry you to your corner." Turf Digest. MoaaUel Hawker A cockney couple visited a pic ture gallery and stood for some time gazing at a picture entitled, "Hawking In the Olden Days." "Well," said the puxsled 'Bnry, "they didn't 'alf do It my word 'orseback and all." "Rather," agreed Arrlet, "but what are they 'awkln'?" "Blowed If I know," responded 'Enry, "unless they're tryln' to sell their bllnkln' parrots." Safe "Fancy speeding like that I Don't you know It will cost you your driv ing license?" "Mo, It won't l haven't got one." OR ELSEWHERE "What is a living Wager "That depends." "On what?" "Whether you live In a cottage or an automobile." Too True The teacher was emphasizing that the truth should be told at all times and nothing should ever be said which was not strictly true.' A bit later she asked Peggy If she had written her homework. "No, ma'am," was the answer, "my hand did I" ' a N Let It Drop ' Little Girl Mother, you know that old vase you said has been handed down from generation to generation? Mother Tea, dear. Little Girl Well, this generatlbn has dropped It . . Worea and Mora of It "You say my client kicked you In the face?" the attorney for the de fense asked the complainant "He did." "How could he reach your face -with his feet? He la not a tall man." "He knocked me down first, sir." Disturbing the Heme "Do you think a woman's place la In the home?" ; : " "No," answered Mr. Meekto'n "I don't like to be, Interrupted with bridge parties when I am trying to get the children to sleep.''. Harry Up "I think marriages) are made In heaven, don't you?' really "Well, If all men took as long to propose aa you, most of them would have to be," , THE HABIT. ' Wlfey Doesn't It worry "you dreadfully to owe so many bills you cannot pay? ' - . - . , , . -. Hnhhv fVrtntnl not I W h v should I .worry over other people's ; troubles?- , , - ;' A Place to Star ' Hubby If you, don't atop nagging me I'm going to tell,' you few tilings.' . . - . ' Wifey You might begin by tell ing me why you called me "Baby" In your sleep last night Pathfind er 'Magazine. ; : . , flit is ..'yy ; ' 0 V - OUR COMIC SECTION Events FINNEY OF THE ' fB'fy L THAT MEXICO j CJQW 1 u0$S Ot TiST 'POUT r-r1 : 1 ,. ".. li r vrT .. s , r - 1 ' o-Po OW-SBZuioST JcAN't m S ?"T I KNOW NOW WHY MOOP-H6 WUX VbX- COKAE COPf To TAKS THBIR SO HOT VlTH fJ .IM COATS OFP WHICH" f "J. IHATT QM j ? J -TMBV'Re OM .Wtj.1 J THE FEATHERHEADS .J5L. v- IVeadingfeOn 6 UlTN J 'A 'a., Tom, Faint I camT ii illCV HOW PIP TOU RV 4 f voj FINP AMTWIN.,H - i-. ii. '! II A a" J 1. I I KJRi IWM 7 I 1 I sfifZZS- - yXV P ' ! V , - f sji MEAT WAS fj lfh - , 1 in the Lives of Little Mc:i FORCE BrTeaOXeafUia -. V say waaaarai aaraBBBBaw bjbbbbi THERE I HEAR ) I ' THAT?' H . ABOUT VbU r , JOIN IT J, -TX ; . mm- . u m tS9. Oil- a MAKE; IT A ' To $4y , Dignity Doffed I HAVE w HELECTFuu HUH? OH VlELlr AH- CUTTER 1 Aa ' a ( ' . 1 " J ft a cavy rcru:.' ; i i fur eul.,1 nient, aoys t' e Air I Ion News. "Ever a ickr aked the re cruiting oilicer. ' ;, "Nope I" answered the cowpunch er. - ' "Ever had any accidents?" Queried the o"'cer. "liut a one," returned the would be stiller. . ' ' , "Then, wlint caused that scor on your hand?" demanded the o..Icer. ' fnattlesnake bit me, laconically answered the cowboy. . ' ,: l, "And you don't call that an ac cident?", v 4-,j:ri rii-H f ' :s "Nope!'- The son-of-a-gun did tt a-purpose.''; v, ; i ; .;:;--:'.!,-;;;''- . SLIGHT DIFFERENCE "Luxurious tates De Klche has. He has a Carot In hla1 office." "That'a nothing. J have a whistler In Mne,vvi'fe;' Obaylajt Orders Oalf ' ' . Th rirlvAr nt thA . mi nmhlln v toUght a cigarette td bis com-'j pamon to noia tne wneet ; ; v ; . v , immediately there was a Tleafen- ng crash, aa they aldeswlped an other car. . Angrily the driver shouted at his friend, "I told yon to hold the -wheel, didn't ir - "Yeah," returned the other, non chalantly, "but yon didn't ell Tnw to teer."rneveland. Plain Dealer. "Anne Mae," said the mistress of the house finally giving way to cu riosity, "I- noticed you have .been taking our empty grapefruit bulla home with you. What do you do with themr :."i'v'; H The negro maid looked up at her mlstreaa with a " sheepish ' trin. Yes'um," she admitted. Tse been carrying 'em-home, I'se think they make my garbage look so stylish." The Country Gentleman.' , . Doctor to drugglat) Say, you made at terrible mistake In putting up thai prescription for old Mrs. Waters. If lucky she's alive. I know I wrote It correctly. What have you to say for yourself ?" Druggist - (consulting. prescrip tion) Why, doc, I must have mixed your signature In with the other In gredients. Cincinnati Enquirer. ; t.;.'"u Got tli Air" ' Facetious One Why so gloomy, old chap? - Gloomy One Just heard my uncle has cut me out of his will, v He's altered It live times In the last two years. ' . .' Facetious One Hal Evidently a fresh' heir fiend, what? The Hu morist Magazine. ' , MAYBE SO, MAYBE SO be sent i Sacking Neighborly AatUtance .' "Your dog" , , x . "That's my wife's dog.'' i - f . "Anyway, he keeps me awake all nlnght : I've simply got , to com plain nbdut it." , , . . a "Come on over to the house and see my wife. If you can think of any complaints that I haven't made I want to hear 'em." " Hard Llaas -Why?ao gloomy V ''' "Ah I These desperate times get my goat" T "Huh I You still get a salary and are not on the welfare." ; ; know it but we are riding around in ah old "29 model, and that's almost r.s tough as being on the ', welfare," -Cincinnati En quirer. " 1 ' Wasted Lingo n Tourist White man glad to see red man. White man hopes big chief feeling top-hole this morning. - .Indian (calling) Hey, Joke, come here and listen to thlSbozo. ' He's ,.'.' Two for One' . . Game Warden Look here, this la a last year's hunting license. Hunter, (thinking' fast) Well, you're right, but yon s I'm only t oo?'- 3 at Lf.-.'a 1 1' ' :h 1 1 !t y .-r. 'I shall get my .- reward from, heaven?" , . Then It will .have to you." , t , , lib rSomethlDg quite d:.Tt;rent In the way of aeh trays ar.t cliarmlng little oalc leaves made of liMiumflred silver. And beside being extremely Useful they have theadded virtue of being In keeping with your table silver. So many ash trays look but of place If you want to put them on the table. Grease spots may be removed from tan shoes with gasoline. , Wet sponge with-gasoline .(keep away from ore) rub over spots, dry and polish. I If cake Is to be baked a long time It la wise to line the bottom of pan with oiled paper. ' v If cake mixture has been made too stiff do not add more milk to It 1 Beat an egg and add gradually until mixture is of desired thickness: When tnaklng tomato 'bisque dis solve a pinch of soda in the milk used in bisque and there will be less dan To prevent shoulder straps slipping off, cut a piece of tape long enough to hold straps. Sew one end of tape to inside of dress on shoulder seam. Then sew one-half of snap fastener onto shoulder seam 'and the other on the loote end of the tape. To remove glass stoppers from bot tles, take a piece, of twine, double and . put It around neck of. bottle twice. Have someone, hold bottle, uaVt SV ? " hand, and work back and forth until neck of bottle becomes warn). ;. Step per can then be removed. ' Custard . plea should be baked In a hot oven for the first ten minutes. The crust will then be set and filling 'will hot soak through crust Reduce heat after first ten -minutes so that filling will not bolt , Soot water Is' excellent for plants. Put soot taken from, chimneys, fur naces and stoves into a bag and sus pend bag in a pall of water, - Let stand for a week before using. There Is nothing like a beautiful piece of red lacquer to give the note of color that lifts a room from Its state of former 'drabness. It may be a magaiine jrack or a coffee table, but. the lacquered pieces we hare In mind are exquisitely done , with a finish ae smooth .and suave as an eggsheu. v The designs in gold are fine and delicate and the Appearance of these exceptionally - lovely; pieces Is quite different from the, average lacquered furniture. . , . CJ aaaocteUd Nawioapar. WNU Snrrln. i.:3:y.' Sorrow isf-'.v;'; 'Though sorrow must come, where la the advantage of rushing to meet It? It will be time enough to grieve when it comes; 'meanwhile, hope for better things. . . Ha Knew Pat - , v; Mike I haven't seen my Cncle Pat for ten years. I wonder what he'a been doing all that time. .. . . - : Ike I can guess i ten years. ' L Nothing Caiaed ' , Math' Teacher Now, we find' that Is equal to cero. . Student Geel All that work for nothlng.-Amerlcan Boy. -f. j . N(. , v w N Lot at Sea ' , t ' Pilot What is lt Observer-r-An SOS. They want to know If we have seen anything of a pink and gray parrot . , - X' Good Reader A i Mistress Mary bow could you sit there reading while baby la crying so hard? . !. "u... -Nuree It doesn't disturb me a bit ma'am. Answers Magazine. v h 1 ParliaOMBtary - "Do you think you'll, be able to get the speaker's eyer . ,. j - "rne speaker 1 hasn't done any thing to me yet," said the athletic young member. "If he does, T won't aim for his eye. 111 aim for his Jaw." N i ( WRlGLEVlS ALWAYS 1 Cmnos Good cheer i J' ' J V f'.i.' .. 0! ar the i the v shu'ti l InacrJpi L Ek it,-. s Irtn th tP'my wT m with tii Ci....i, place It'ionuimiyftvi orwirM. how. hot tovn Knd ownppu. 1 - h no lure-h .w. Mt4 Mi bo" t r writ for ir3 u r. THE OUS La j4 t-urn ' Fete? Staying single is hardly planned... It Just happens. I Ant I that Holiday ;;:rCake::;',v iith the ( ' famous tine new hotel ia a historic set- tina overlook. , - t ing Hampton v loads, seene of Monitor- Merrimao battle 300 large. outside rooms, each with ' private tiled bath Private , sandy beach, large swim- aaing pool tennis, golt deep ' sea fishing, dancing nightly - and afternoons. Bar. cocktail , lounge Health Department, v Property adjoin historic Fortress Monroe. Open the rear 'round Near Williams . bura Jamestown and York-, .1.-5-.''.,.' , km ro mi musntTto oon B- Also under manau . nt of J. Wesley Gardner. A tort able, family hotol of 83 1 rooms facing the- ocean r Hate from $1.50 per person per day without meals. , GENERAL ALARM Worm Doggonlt, that fool npur- sighted firebug thinks I'm a pi-. of hose, q ,' - " , , Nothiag Gratis Ton can't get something i c nothing in this life." "That's right" replied the f citizen. "If I want even e kind words about my d and some. hope of future rve got to go to a fort" and pay for them." T7T

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